| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/24/2008 10:29:28 PM | I know of a man who is quite attractive and has no problem finding willing women. He knows how to play them. I know this through a friend who lived with him and ended the relationship because he wanted to do this while he was with her. Just for fun and nothing serious, he would tell her, but it was still her he really loved. He still tells her that she is really the only one he loves, and clues her in on what he's doing. I don't see why she even keeps in contact with him, but she says that he kind of makes her feel special in telling her how much he still cares for her, and even though she KNOWS what he's up to, she believes him. She told me that he's obsessed with doing this all the time now and this is how he works.
In the beginning, he contacts them a lot, pays them constant compliments, listens to them and is very attentive (the very things which capture a woman's heart). The next thing he knows, they're putty in his hands. He doesn't mean any of these compliments or if he does to some degree, they are grossly overexaggerated. He just knows how to play them so that they will give him what he wants (and that includes many things and not just sex). It's mainly for the attention from them, for his ego, which he obviously craves. He makes them want him, but then when they are smitten and comfortable with him, he tends to back off a little and not make as much contact, and they are probably scratching their heads wondering what the heck happened. He makes them feel comfortable enough to contact him, but when they do he just gives an excuse about how busy he is and that's why he has not been in touch but STILL keeps them hooked, instead of being honest. And he still will occasionally contact them just to make sure they're still available to him, which must only frustrate them further. He constantly has a string of women going, and none of them know about the other. He's so good at what he does that he makes women who aren't all that physically attractive, feel absolutely beautiful, but it's all lies. Personally, I think this is a very selfish act, and I don't believe every man is like this. It's probably not even that the women are stupid, it's just that he's a damn good liar.
Do you believe that 'all is fair in love and war' and that if women fall for this and are willing to stick around, despite the fact that they're not getting to the next stage of how a relationship should progress, that men are justified in doing this sort of thing? I mean - I guess if there's no promise of commitment, there's no rule condeming this sort of behavior.
How would you classify a man like this? | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:50:47 AM | A coward! There's just no other word to describe it. (And he better be careful before he comes across the wrong somebody)!  | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:23:49 AM | Easily classified, he's a narcissistic b*****d with a peter pan complex. As awful as adhering to that sexst book "The rules" may be, it does have a few clues on how to identify the non-committal types and avoid them.
There are a lot of players out there, and sadly we women have to become less trusting to begin with, at least until we've identified his "intentions" to use another old-fashioned and sexist term! Just don't let the bad ones ruin it for you for all the rest. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:23:54 AM | | No you cannot justify that behaviour!He is a LOSER and a USER! Using women to boost his own ego,manipulating and being dishonest into the bargain.He is so good t it that despite your friend knowing what he does and how he behaves, she is still so easily sucked in by his words.Kick him to the kerb!Best place for him. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:25:11 AM | | This guy sounds a total jerk.... I had a similar experience with someone on here... what did he say he did? | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:49:45 AM |
allmynamestaken wrote:
Easily classified, he's a narcissistic b*****d with a peter pan complex
A narcissist with a peter pan complex? Hmmm. It sounds like somebody has
been doing their reading. And yes, I'm probably inclined to agree with this.
Apolinary | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:03:41 AM | | Hey, I think talking to and dating a lot of women is part of the normal process of dating women. Eventually you find one that doesn't hate you and isn't evil and then you end up with her for a few months, years, or who knows. I think that what this gentleman is doing is perfectly normal and is something we take for granted in women. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:25:38 AM | Players are a dime a dozen anymore...BUT you learn KEY words and KNOW that this is a line and don't bother.
The major line is...He clues her in on what he is doing.....yet..she gives in to his charms knowing full well that he is not going to stay with her...kinda like Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara. She knew his games but played it anyway...it's fun while it lasts.
Then what does he say when she is in need? Frankly my dear , I don't give a Damn!!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 4:02:03 AM | | I had and stillthe same problem with a guymyself. He messaged me though POF.And added each other too our messengers,Everything was going along just fine for the first two months.Was even lookin forward to meetin this guy.Then all of a sudden the contact stopped even though still had him on my messeger.So I started leaving messages here at POF .And his replies back would be i've been out of town workin, are just been real busy.Then I did catch him in a lie more than once just recently.There was certain things I said in the instant message that brought him back to live for a few minutes.But his excuse was that I had him BLOCKED. Which I NEVER had a BLOCK on him.He likes to hide behind the IDLEALOT.There was three other occassion he did reply back in the im and said WE would talk at 10:30 that night which 10:30 came and it went.On other time it was WE would talk at 9:00 one night same it came and went.I keep asking the question .Why the sudden drastic change and if I said are did anything too PLEASE TELL ME. He can not answer for hell or high waters.I DONT believe in GAMES or HEADGAMES.When WE added each other too OUR MESSENGERS I was honest ,truthful and DIDN'T HOLD ANYTHING back.GOOD LUCK TOO OTHER WOMEN THAT RUNS ACROSS MEN LIKE THIS.YOU WILL NEED IT. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 6:11:35 AM | msg 9.............dating is one thing. Lying and leading women on is something totally different. He fully admits to this woman he is doing it for nefarious purposes.
OP.....You might want to point out to your "friend" that she actually is no different than any other woman on the jerks list. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:40:30 AM |
How would you classify a man like this? Insecure, self-loathing, fearful, and probably needing some therapy to overcome his fears and lowly self-worth.
But like attracts like: women who slurp up and swallow his "grossly overexaggerated" compliments are also insecure, self-loathing, fearful, and probably needing some therapy to overcome their fears and lowly self-worth. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:23:26 PM | | Taniwa, I should add the he tells these women that they are the only person he's really interested in, even though he lets them know that he's keeping his options open. If you're straightforward to someone and tell them that you are not looking for a commitment and that you have other people in tow AND THEY STILL AGREE to spend time with you, then I guess if they decide to, that's their own issue to deal with. When you're playing a number of women at a time and telling them ALL the same thing, that's quite another! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:34:22 PM | | Well . . . now I know there wasn't just the one I went out with!! Met him on Freedating!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:41:43 PM | | kind of sounds like my current roommate. very attractive. knows how to capture a woman's heart. etc... he plays them all. it's a game to him. he fills me in on all the details. laughs about it. thankfully, I know that not all men are like this. makes a person wonder how a human being can find it in themselves to use someone to their full advantage, without it even phasing them. I guess basically if someone seems to be acting shady, then they probably are. the whole being busy excuse is such nonsense. if a person likes you they will make the time to send a quick message, at the very least. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:47:59 PM | | yeah, the term is "player" (playa)and unfortunately, due to the deceptive nature of this practice, all the sincere and honest individuals have a harder time meeting and trusting-you've described the player down to a T, except to say that they are pigs, and the worst type of users-they think they're slick, but they're only greasy-one only can hope that when they decide it's their time to settle down that they get played endlessly as they so richly deserve. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:49:09 PM | | I would classify him as a big ole rat!!!! What is wrong with these men, I met one on this site who brought me flowers, wine, and cheap dollar tree gifts, the flowers were from Walmart, the wine was equally cheap, and he thought I should drop down and kiss his feet, oh and by the way, took me to the beach, only theres a big catch, it was a timeshare deal where he had to go sit in on a meeting all day on Saturday, while I was stuck at the hotel with no transportation. THEN, the next night he took me out on a boat to gamble, it was the nastiest, filfthiest boat and all I could do was pray it made it back to shore. If they're not liars, they have some other sort of affliction that they can't commit to one person or if they do, they want everything their way, I dumped this guy, after Valentines Day when he took me out to dinner at a VERY nice restaurant and complained because I had a glass of wine, (go figure he was bringing me wine when he came to my house) but they he decided to be cheap again and only order a salad for himself (which made me feel like I wasn't supposed to order anything more expensive) Oh and for Christmas, he and his family have two piles when they open gifts, one is for what they plan to keep and the other is for what they plan to return to the store (they do this in front of the gift giver). What a guy!!!!!!! So tell your friend to tell him to take a big ole jump into a lake and don't ask her to rescue him!!!!!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:59:52 PM | How I would classify a man like this would indeed be a player..
How I would classify women who fall for this and stick around?....stupid!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:11:36 PM | I think that when things are too good to be true they usually are. Just like amazing deals to get rich quick. Real love takes time and investment... It is never instant. When someone is too interested in me, or too soon, the red flag goes up. It takes time to get to know people. I think it is unfortunate when people label all men are.... or all women are..... There is a mixed bag out there. Find someone close to yourself and you have a better chance of success. I think on POF many people are trying to date someone who is out of their reach and so it will not work. There is a partner for the biggest loser and the best beauty queen and everything inbetween. If you are willing to see yourself clearly and work on your own weaknesses you will find a better partner.. If you lose wt and become healthy.. that is more attractive, so you will find someone more attractive. OR Dont and find someone in the same category as you which is perfectly fine as well. Im not trying to say that one is better then the other. But if you have a standard for someone else then it should apply to you as well.
Each experience teaches us something if we want to learn about it. If you are confused in a situation and cannot figure it out it usually is because you don't want to see the painful truth. Such as... I have been lied to or mislead. It is easier to hang on to the hope that still is being offered by the person that is using you. Just because they said they loved you yesterday does not mean they will love you tomorrow. Each day with someone you love is a blessing. Treat them well maybe it will continue.
What kinda stinks is that you cannot always see a stinker ahead of time. You never really know what you are into until it goes wrong. A guy might seem to be faithful until the day you realize there is someone else. You cant always see it. It is a hazard of dating... | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:21:13 PM | OP,
On A & E some time ago, was a story that matches this one.
The creep target's women, NUMBER'S of them, take's
advantage of them. NOT a player, moreso..very DANGEROUS!
This is why ladies MUST exercise caution EXTRAORDINAIRE!
Hunting the SERENGETTI is somewhat SAFER!
CAN'T blame gal's for being apprehensive, bad enough to try to
SENSE out vibe's person to person, let alone DODGING riffraff. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:28:09 PM |
The major line is...He clues her in on what he is doing.....yet..she gives in to his charms knowing full well that he is not going to stay with her...kinda like Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara. She knew his games but played it anyway...it's fun while it lasts.
Then what does he say when she is in need? Frankly my dear , I don't give a Damn!!!
Wow, have you even SEEN "Gone With the Wind"? Rhett Butler is not the playboy here....Scarlett is!
Rhett WAS a handsome rake with a rep....but he also had money. New money. Which was 'beneath" the reputable mansion ladies - until the south fell....then Scarlett, who was the biggest playah of all time and even went after her best friend's HUSBAND even while her best friend was PREGNANT....still went after Rhett for his money.
Well, good ol' Rhett fell for Scarlett's Southern charms....and she played him and played him - finally did the "cut off all sex" play with him after their daughter died...and only THEN did Rhett go elsewhere. At the end, when Scarlett decides that MAYBE Rhett was a hottie and a great guy after all, Rhett has had it...and that is when he tells her "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn".
And Scarlett just shuts the door, fans herself, and says the movie equivalent of "Whatevah....tomorrow is another day" | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:40:17 PM | | Men like this are everywhere,women like us are sometimes so needy that we fall for the lies and when we realize its to late to get out we have our rerets but hang in because sometimes it's better to have something rather than nothing. When we realize that we do have more value that what we are told is when we get the strength to move on. But don't think he cares because it's all about him and happiness for him is non-existant. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:52:57 PM | Hmm wait a minute, this scenario sounds familiar, it is jogging my memory, where did I first here this . . . wait I remember, I saw it on The Young And The Restless last week, when I was home from work on a sick day, it was on the television.
No wait, I first saw this on Judge Joe Brown. One lady was suing her X boyfriend because he took money from her! He thought it was a gift, she claimed it was a loan!
No wait . . . | |
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