| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:53:10 AM | | What would you do or what should one do if you know of a man who is now seeing a woman and he says "she's going to give me a place to live, help me with money, buy me things, etc"? He doesn't love her, but admits he is using her to help himself as he is in a bad financial situation and needs someone to bail him out. Do you think the woman would want to know? Should she know? Or just let him pull this on her and hope she catches on. He's talking about moving from KY to TN so she can do all this for him. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:17:05 PM | | If she's a grown woman and chooses to "fund" this guy, what business is it of yours? People do what works for them-- if she feels the need to buy herself a companion, what makes her any better or worse than him offering himself for sale? You're assuming she's clueless. I doubt that very much. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 4:51:07 PM | Nobody can take advantage of you, unless you let them. How well do you know this woman, or do you? If you think that she is a friend, then I would clue her in, and if she still wants to go ahead with this guy, then at least she was forewarned.
It never ceases to amaze me what motivates some people, the good, the bad and the ugly. 
Pink | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:17:54 PM | | Well I personally wouldn't think much of this guy. But I also think that whatever someone wants to do with her money is their own business. If they just started seein each other or something, she should know better. If they were together for a long time, she should know better. If she didn't ask for insight or advice, I wouldn't volunteer it to her. I'm not one to interfere with anyones business unless it's made my business. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:34:26 PM | | Happens all the time in "relationships." Chances are, the woman is aware -- but is lonely -- and his attentions as a live-in bf are worth her every dime. Or she is in denial. They'll have a few mutually beneficial years together before he moves on to someone he really loves and in much better financial shape. His true love may already be in the picture. She has a lot to lose. If she were a good friend of mine, I would have a chat with her to see where she's at. This is about values and needs, not love. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:39:00 PM | OP
None of your business. You can't stop people from being stupid.
As others have said here she is the only one who choses to be used. She probably knows and she will get embarrassed and probably lash out at you emotionally for bringing it up. It is just not worth the time. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:48:17 PM | Yes I would tell her... because I believe in truth... If I knew the man .....I would tell him also........to him i would say
" if that is your intent then tell her the truth....upfront,.... and see if she agrees to the arrangement... "
he because he is being dishonest/lack of integrity .. will at least have the higher self option before him..
And yes some people are so desperately lonely... low self esteem, that they will buy that compaionship. but they usaully have no personal honesty... but go with the "outter fantasy" of its love/desire etc.. because they cannot face truth/themselves etc..
I would assume even if shes told... that she would probably only half believe it.(once again, dosent want to face truth) and do it anyway..
Then she will after her savings are gone,, shes knocking herself out trying to flog a dead horse and hes screwing around on her..(cause he dosent/love/respect her)
she will start a thread saying all men are pigs/users/abusers etc..
but the truth will ultimately be revealed...imo.. yes tell her the truth.. expect the messanger to be shot(unless she really is just naive.. I dont know ages here..)
otherwise she might thank you for helping her see past this fantasy... she is envisioning 1 scenerio........... and actually getting another..
and if you do tell her ... add. You might not want to hear this.. but I need to tell you. because knowing i could of saved you hurt/pain/financial ruin.. and not telling you...)
she will ultimately do what she will anyway... but 1 day she will come back and say I should of listened to you..
by the way if it was your mother? sister? brother? would you warn them?
all people deserve respect..of knowing the truth
smiles/peace | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:25:50 AM | She probably already knows and not like to hear it when someone else tells her (knows about it), knowing she is looking foolish but it would be worth discussing it with her anyhow...
If she doesn't know, well she probably needs to know also discuss it with her , and she probably wont believe you or won't want to believe you.
hmm a choice, I personally would tell her she might need to talk about it either way. | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/27/2008 11:35:11 AM | Trouble, OP, is that if someone is in love ... as this woman in question ... even if you approached her and told her the truth incl ... I cannot even think of what kind of proofs you would have handy ... well, love is b l i n d and all your well meant advice would just fall of d e a f ears.
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:15:11 PM | | Some women just love 'pseudo-Ken men" with no balls, no respect for women and no money..........Dont worry, she'll join POF soon for the forums and sympathy once he is done with her......................and yes, I do believe she knows but is lonely and desperate for a Richard........... | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/27/2008 2:47:13 PM | For the most part this is another "butt out" situation. Unless you know the lady to converse with, you might ask her if she's ever troubled/concerned about her bf's financial situation.
If this had been posted about a woman using a man for financial rescue, this thread would be 10 pages long of screaming men condemning her and the rest of the gender. Sort of a reverse double standard goin' on here?
If 2 people LOVE each other and one's having financial difficulties that the other one CHOOSES to help with that's one thing. But to be with someone you DON'T love, strictly for money/financial rescue, is pretty damn low in my books, regardless of gender.
Cindy O | |
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| what if you knew a man who was using a woman to profit himself
Posted: 2/27/2008 5:42:30 PM | You didn't mention how well you know the woman or the man. Honestly, I am such a believer in doing right that I would probably try to get the guy to tell me that he is only using her and tape the conversation, then send it to her.
Contrary to what seems to be the popular stance, I don't think the lady knows she is dealing with a jerk, nor do I think that the shoe should be on the other foot just because a guy has had a bad personal experience.
What a shame that so many seem to lack compassion, and seem to believe it is all the victim's fault. The man is pulling a con, and that is just wrong. | |
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