| | Do men really like submissive women? Page 1 of 19 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19) | Do men really like submissive women? or do most of them really not wanna be the aggressive party? im very submissive and finding a dominant man is very hard to find these days, how can u tell if a man is dom without askin him from jump?  | |
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Posted: 2/27/2008 11:44:24 PM | personally id prefer my woman to be a little agressive not starfishto sex, id like a woman to at least hold me and on occassion speak those fun words that get the old gears a pumping. cant be too submissive but cant be overally agressive either imo, but a good mix, theres no proper way to tell unfortunatly unless your very blunt and just ask him, but wouldnt that be quite the opposate of being submissive as well:)
Leo | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 12:34:46 AM | I think men quite often mistake unresponsive as submissive, they're two different things.
H.x | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 3:16:59 AM |
Do men really like submissive women? or do most of them really not wanna be the aggressive party? im very submissive and finding a dominant man is very hard to find these days, how can u tell if a man is dom without askin him from jump?
I think if you are looking for a d/s relationship you need to look around d/s clubs or websites. Your average person might mistake the meanings if you ask about things like dominant and submissive. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 4:30:58 AM | ^^^^
I dont think the O/P is looking for a D/S type relationship. I think she is looking for a Man, Not a wimp.
Thanks to these S.N.A.G's and the like ,It seems a MAN is a dying breed.
Has it become such a touchy subject ,that a MAN cant (With the encouragment of his woman) To engage in HARD sex without him being charged with date-rape or being labled a sexist pig! (agreed thats extreme...But it does happen)
If the time is right.....Is there anything wrong with grabbing a handful of hair, pulling your head back and filling your throat with something other than air?
The line is a fine one, Trust and a CLEAR understanding is the key to these activities. I understand that what is good for one, is abhorrent to another!
Read this carefully before you all flame away
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Posted: 2/28/2008 5:08:18 AM | From the Opost
"im very submissive and finding a dominant man is very hard to find these days, how can u tell if a man is dom without askin him from jump?"
IMO the Oposter should better define what she actually means by "submissive" and "dom", I mean does she mean that in the S&M lingo or more "generically" (as in "wimp" vs "macho" man)? In this day and age one needs to be precise!! lol | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 5:34:04 AM | I totally agree with the above poster... the definition of dominant /submissive must be defined. There are a lot of dominant men out there and if a person is truly looking for a "dom" then this isn't really the place to look. Yes, communication is the key here. If you just want to spice things up a bit then either take the initiative or talk to your man. If you are looking to be a "sub" or "play slave" then you need to go to alternative websites and screen your people very carefully. Yes being submissive has nothing to do with unresponsiveness.
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Posted: 2/28/2008 6:07:39 AM | | I personally am a switch, meaning I can be either dominant or submissive. My current b/f is awesome, but not really dominant, he does have his moments though. Since you're looking to meet people online I think you should just be upfront with them and ask them what they're like before you even meet them. Explain exactly what it is you're looking for and don't expect them to just jump into it. I wouldn't necessarily want a man to be very dominant the first time I got intimate with him because it takes time to build the trust required. If you're looking for a seriously dominant man you can try sites like alt.com but as the above poster said, screen people very carefully. Good luck. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 6:36:47 AM | | ok im on the same page as bikeman, im not lookin to wear leather and be beaten and gagged, im lookin for a man who isnt a wimp, who can pull hair, slap my ass, talk dirty and take complete control in bed, tell me what to do, and treat me like a good little girl, im not into anything more than that, and i do discuss this with men when the topic cums up before we meet, but i dunno what the hell happens......if they forget or they feel weird doin that, all i know is that i need that in my sex life for me not to stray from sum1 u know? | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 6:39:02 AM | | I would consider myself to be more dominant, and it is very erotic when a woman is submissive. On the other hand I also find it VERY sexy when a woman is not afraid to initiate sex and let you know exactly what she wants. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 6:54:06 AM | As one poster said earlier, I am a switch too. What's with all this "real man" nonsense? I'm sorry, but sometimes I like a good smack across the face.
I find a wholly submissive woman utterly boring. That isn't to criticize women who enjoy that, I don't always find the women I want as a sexual partner. Most women seem to enjoy the bits where I'm the boss. On a purely sexual level though, I find changing things up is a wonderful thing.
Perhaps, and this seems counter productive, the OP needs to be more aggresive? Sometimes you have to step outside the role you want to get into the one you're looking for.
I've had to use the phrase "Use your f-ing teeth!" so that a woman will take control during oral sex, for instance. After that I generally am allowed to be submissive without further comment.
Often times it's a matter of communication. As one poster said, we men are often afraid to be that dominant. But if you're afraid your partner won't understand, you better tell them or ask them.
In sex there are no stupid, superflous questions. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 6:59:54 AM | | 4realgurl..can I have your number?? hahaha JK | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 7:31:40 AM | ""Do men really like submissive women? ""
Another question requiring one definitive answer. Impossible. We are ALL SO different. One lady loves having her nipples played with and can even orgasm from that. Play with another woman's nipples and it makes her skin crawl. Some women love to be mistaken for a railroad spike and pounded. Others find that oppressive and even painful. What really throws a wrench in the works is that both those likes / dislikes can change with the same women over the course of a month or less.
You have to be tuned to your lover to get maximum pleasure. Some enjoy just the excitement of a good banging with a stranger where just the act satisfies. Those who enjoy long term committed relationships get to know the mood your woman is in just by how she looks and even her taste. It is something that is achieved over time and never achieved by many couples because they've given up trying or even caring long ago. That's why 80% of the 40 and up crowd here are divorced. To expect ONE answer for such a diverse question is like asking somebody here to give you next week's SuperBall numbers.
There is NO definitive answer to "Do men like ... ?" The answer comes with communication and learning the other's fantasies and which side of the DOM/sub issue they picture themselves or if as happens with most open couples willing to play and experiment, if they are into that scene a bit (or a lot) they are willing to switch. It all comes down to turn ons and those are as individual as fingerprints. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 8:26:45 AM | I Love submissive women during sex.
I think it's because I'm usually catering to them outside of sex. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 8:39:06 AM | I sympathize with what you are talking about and I think I understand what you mean. The older I get, the more I have to pursue the man and be the one to make sacrifices and basically do the begging. I am used to it being the other way around, because at my youth, I was very beautiful and I was used to getting a lot of attention from men. Now I have to practically knock them on the head, and I find that I am always the one initiating things. I think this has not only to do with my age and looks, but also the mans age and confidence level. It really doesn't leave me feeling wanted and treasured like it used to. I used to love just the idea that the man would want to see us doing it (like a mirror or something), now, I know that will not be the case anymore, and it is difficult.
You are very pretty and young so I don't know why you would be having difficulty finding someone who is just hot for you beyond control. It also could be that men have been so "whimped down" by the mean way that some women reject advances. Women just aren't polite and gentle about unwanted advances, and they don't take them as a compliment, or flattering anymore, so the men are afraid to just reach in there and get what they want. | |
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Nergal
| | Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 16 | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 9:49:18 AM | | I'm definitely dominant in the bedroom, dont have a problem with it. dont need to be, but I've been with a lot of woman that really get off on it .. | |
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Feigh
| | Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 17 | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 12:14:52 PM | | I'm with you on this one 4realgurl. The one time I was lucky enough to get a guy like this, it took quite a while for us to be comfortable enough with each other to get to that point. We hadn't discussed that before we got together, but we did discuss the fact that alot of men don't take the time, or care enough to please the woman, and the fact that he was definitely into having sex be a mutually satisfying experience. :-) | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 12:19:37 PM | | Why can't we just be whatever we are at the moment? Behavior suits the mood, you know. There are days that, if I had a partner, he'd swear I was a dominant personality, and other days that he'd know for sure I'm submissive. The rest of the days, I'm somewhere in between, giving and taking. Do we have to label EVERYTHING?? I don't want to label myself and fit into any one category; I want to be whatever's hottest, needed or wanted at the moment. | |
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ikiera
| | Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 19 | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 12:23:47 PM |
im lookin for a man who isnt a wimp, who can pull hair, slap my ass, talk dirty and take complete control in bed, tell me what to do, and treat me like a good little girl, im not into anything more than that, and i do discuss this with men when the topic cums up before we meet, but i dunno what the hell happens......if they forget or they feel weird doin that, all i know is that i need that in my sex life for me not to stray from sum1 u know?
I guess one would have to test it out with a partner. Lots of them will say they have tried it, like it or don't. I ask which roll they like best. I think asking them their fantasies is a great way to test out their lustuous behaviours and seeing if they have experience. Experience is nice, but someone that is willing to and DOES do their homework is obviously in it for themselves, so you know you are going to get what you ask for. I was allways told to be careful and regardless of how far you are into it, make sure you agree on a safe word.
I am not thoroughly practiced in the B&D, S&M, but have done some exploration and the one that I talked/chatted my fantasies through with, was definately the best in person.... the one that played coy rarely came through (and man was that boring at times).
And for the poster that said it was inappropriate to discuss this.... hello, there are a lot of different fish in the sea.... no one said that the different ones had to vacate. Of all places, this IS the place to discuss your sexual/lifestyle preferrences.... many of us on here are here because we didn't do that to begin with OR things changed as our minds opened up. I think this is the best place to talk about preferrences. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 12:31:20 PM | | Where are all these women who like dominant men in Orlando??? LOL | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 1:59:50 PM | | I loove a guy who's dominant most of the time. Maybe a lil back , here and there.. but that's just me lol | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 2:49:19 PM | You can't t tell Dom/Subs from the vanillas anymore than you tell straight from gay. You might suspect, but you won't know until you ask, if you care.
My suggestion is that this is something that should be discussed after the first passionate kiss and before the second passionate kiss. That's the point where you both know that there is some interest. Before that, it's a moot point.
However, remember than one person's kinky is another person's vanilla. There are as many flavours of Dom/Sub as there are flavors of Ice-cream.
I personally have a suspicion that POF doesnt' want such sexual preferences as part of its selection or search criteria. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 4:54:17 PM | Depends on the man. I prefer being in control, but only because there's no better way to bring my partner pleasure. Whether that be through B&D, D/s, or S&M. I'm no sadist, but fully understand the use of opposite ends of the spectrum in order to enhance the pleasure. Just have to ask, or you'll end up in the sack with a guy who isn't quite sure how to take control and you'll get frustrated. Most who are will let you know if you ask.
Oh, and for the record, being dominant doesn't mean being domineering. There's a huge difference. Some guys can't figure this one out with a roadmap and compass. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 5:47:02 PM | There are quite a few levels to this question. A woman can be quite assertive and aggressive socially and ALSO like rough sex, in which she takes a "submissive" role in bed and there are also very shy, submissive women socially who can be quite assertive in bed, too, but not "rough".
I have a dominant streak and a socially submissive woman makes the radar blip all over the place, I feel her call to me without a single word. I dont like "rough" sex at all, though ...dirty names, hair-pulling, all that.....uh-uh.
All these labels are kind of one-dimensional and stupid, if you ask me. I know...you didnt ask. Just saying.............. | |
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Posted: 2/28/2008 5:49:26 PM | | Rather than D/s I'd say you prefer an "aggressive lover who isn't afraid to take charge".. is that a fair assesment? | |
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