| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:40:15 AM | | Most of the mail I get on POF is from men who tell me right up front that they just want to email. They sometimes live 1000 miles away and aren't looking for a relationship, and often admit that they are married. Why do men come here, find someone looking for a long term relationship, and want to be penpals? | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:29:13 AM | why are we on the forums? a long distance friend is someone we can talk to and be safe ... maybe their wife would be jealous if they had a friend /woman to talk to that was local ... in my opinion every one needs friends of the opposite sex just to talk to ... it gives us a perspective we cannot get from friends of the same sex or from people we are intimate with
maybe they are single and not ready yet to jump back in but have need for interaction /conversation with a member of the opposite sex ...ladies where ever you are if this is the case with you ...I will gladly be your friend and help you all i can ...every one needs some one to lean on while we feel our way through this life ...i dont have to ever see you to be your friend
can you not have friends /penpals and also look for a long term at the same time ...you might just gain perspective from them also...something that might help you in your search ...THINK?
or maybe they get their rocks off by jerking your chain
Who am i to say why anyone does anything ...most times I dont know why I do things that I do | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:46:44 AM | I agree with deerdog on this one. I'm personally on here for the forums. I tell everyone that messages me right off the bat that I'm involved. Most of the time I get ****ed at for it.
Guess I just have the opposite problem then... | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:14:26 AM |
Most of the mail I get on POF is from men who tell me right up front that they just want to email. They sometimes live 1000 miles away and aren't looking for a relationship, and often admit that they are married. Why do men come here, find someone looking for a long term relationship, and want to be penpals?
If this is problem, you can lessen this annoyance by setting contact restrictions on your profile, seeing as you have none.
To do so, click here --> MAIL SETTINGS and set up your restrictions.
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:07:04 AM | I have the same, I get emailed from a few people who are watching me on the forums and curious about what I say, or that we have the same interests and want to chat about them, so I dare say it isn't gender specific.
I think it's just about if it feels right and you have a good conversation. | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:58:37 AM | | I lived 4000 miles from my pen pal. Now were sitting in the living room together *smiles at someone special*. If you don't want to correspond with married people make that clear in your profile. I think pen pals is a great way to meet and talk to people of similar interests or life questions etc... There is no pressure and its a safe way to get to know someone without any expectations. You simply don't know where it will lead though, I would of never thought it would of led to me moving 4000 miles to be closer. | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:25:32 AM | Thanks, all. I don't mind the 'just chatting' type emails; I always answer them and have had some interesting conversations. It would be better, though, if I heard from men close enough to see and touch (and who were looking for those things!)....the last time a new man who was actually interested in a date emailed me was August, 2007. So I sit home every Saturday night, writing to my penpals.  | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 1:56:56 PM | You should try to get out more, that is what I do. Take up class, learn a new sport, something to get you out and meet new people. It has worked so much better for me than this online gig. I have made more new friends, and met more real people in way less time. Online chatting and such is a slow process, in person, one hour and you could have a new friend!
Wish you luck, when fishing, luck always plays it's part! | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:07:31 PM | There are lots of reasons for being here, and many of us are not looking exclusively for sex or romance.
I have internet friendships that have endured for many years. I have corresponded with one internet friend since the early 90s, before the first browser. Both of us would say that it has greatly enriched our lives.
It's entirely reasonable to be up front and announce what types of people you wish to talk to here, and what your expectations are.
I hope that you find what you want here and enjoy it!
-Gray | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:54:50 PM | Desi wrote-Thanks, all. I don't mind the 'just chatting' type emails; I always answer them and have had some interesting conversations. It would be better, though, if I heard from men close enough to see and touch (and who were looking for those things!)....the last time a new man who was actually interested in a date emailed me was August, 2007. So I sit home every Saturday night, writing to my penpals.
Desi- While i wouldnt say I do it every saturday night, I do do it alot too. I would echo the same "It would be nice" sentiment.
having read numerous posts you have made (you write great posts and valuable views on things), I understand why people would email you from where ever and desire you as a penpal. Take it as a compliment (I'm sure you do) and keep looking for the one to take you away from here (which would be a sad day for the rest of us).
john | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:49:44 PM | I have noooooooooooo idea why people come on here just to be pen pals! as there are loads of places for lonley people to go and chat, i always thought the term of dating site and not a chat room may have been a hint for them | |
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| Penpals?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:07:29 PM | mmmmm! some are fishing. many are the ones that will label themselves as "X" but are in fact looking for something totally different.
There is however some (men and women) that simply need the human connection, or a third perspective on things and are completely honest, but are using a not quite OK approach. To make the difference is not always easy, but it all start by the "targeted" group, ex: a guy ONLY wanting women as penpal OR the type of pics they put on their profile (suggestive..sexy etc etc)..........mmmmmmhhh! BIG Orange warning flag right here!
Penpals are harmless and can be beneficial in many ways; now that you do not welcome those people is completely your choice and right; as long as you set the rules right form the start. Worst to worst: "block user" is a great tool to cut it off! LOL! | |
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