| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:42:44 AM | What kind of bologna is this this guy is trying to feed me?
He wanted to do our meet-and-greet at a Starbucks like at 8:00 in the a.m....in the morning....that's at the crack of dawn in my night owl world....I'm not at my best in the morning....plus I have a job and they like me to show up before lunch.
At any rate, he was a little insistent that this be the time and the place, although he was flexible on which day of the week, as long as it was a weekday (Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri). Wow, what flexibility.
When I remarked that this arrangement....coffee first thing in the morning for an initial meeting.....was unusual, he insisted that it was not, that it was quite the norm.
I passed on the deal. First, if he's good to go that early in the morning and, believe me, I'm not, we don't belong in each other's worlds. Second, he sounded pretty rigid. Third, sounded shady to me--why can't he get out in the evening, hmmm?
My question? What kind of bologna have you been asked to eat? | |
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DonQ
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Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 2 | |
| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:00:36 PM | I think he was married and getting out early to meet you would have been much easier for him rather then at night or on a weekend. After all, what wife would raise an eye brow if her husband left a few minutes early for work versus going out at night or on a weekend?
IMHO... | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:12:32 PM | Women do this all the time, but in a less obvious way.
In my opinion, he has a group of friends (possible the Starbucks employees) there at that time and wants their support if you're not into him.
Spiinnneellesss. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:18:19 PM | When meeting a perfect stranger, meet at a public place, at a time convenient to you. Make sure you've informed a friend about where you'll be in advance and call and check in at some point in the bathroom during the meeting.
A gentleman allows a lady to choose the meeting place in order for her to feel safe and on familiar territory. Women are normally at a disadvantage size-wise so women should choose the meeting site and stick to their guns about it. They should not venture off with the man, no matter how intially at ease they may feel. It just is not safe these days to go off with a stranger you don't know well. You don't go in his car, you bring your own and leave in it after the meeting concludes.
If he's all right, after you've met the first time and had coffee or a drink or whatever, have at least another date or two completely in the public eye until you've checked out the particulars about him and know he can be trusted. Make sure he is who he says he is and that he's not married.
On the situation you've described above, I agree. Meeting at that hour is unappealing and a little strange. I'm at work at that hour or have just got my little one off to school. Socializing with another away from my home doesn't seem the least bit attractive to me until I've had about two or three cups of coffee in me, at a minimum. I, too, think he is probably married. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:38:56 PM | A man I met on another site would only communicate with me via computer. I gave him my cell number the day we met. He called me from a blocked number to arrange a second date. I told him that I don't always know when I can leave work. He said I should e-mail him when I got home. He wouldn't give me his phone# because he said he couldn't receive calls at work. I told him he sounded married and we didn't need to talk again.
Another man (sadly POF) thought our first meeting should be at his house. He told me that I shouldn't be living in fear and cursed me via e-mail until I blocked him. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:45:18 PM | | Well, not that you probably need to hear it again..... but I have to agree..... HE'S MARRIED!!!!! | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:49:55 PM | Just a reminder, people....I'm not going to meet him. When I say "sounds shady" I mean I KNOW THERE'S A 99.999999% LIKELIHOOD HE'S MARRIED.
Please, skip the obvious. He's married. And I won't be meeting him. That question isn't even on the table! | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:51:49 PM | He's married? You all are being to harsh.
Maybe he has a friend that gives him free coffee in the morning  | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:06:48 PM | Heidi,
Like everyone else here has stated "He's Married", and like you say your 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% sure that he's married.
Although this does explain why a lot of women are afraid to meet a guy for a first meeting. You get one or two bad eggs and it ruins it for the rest of us. Just remember were not all married and looking to screw around, some of us are actually here for what we say.
I know when I try to set up a first meeting I try to make sure the lady feels as secure as possible, I make sure it's in her town, a public place, preferably while it's still light out. Basically so she has nothing to worry about, not that she would anyways.  | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:26:33 PM | | I'd say he just doesn't want to waste his time. See if there is chemistry have some coffee & get to work. If there's chemistry he'll make time for you on the second date. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:28:29 PM | Okay...so if he is married...skip it. Don't go there, you know better.
Don't play games.
as for meeting so early in the morning....why the hell not?... I am sorry...but pre-Mom days I use to work downtown and mornings would make sense to me. Most of the pple I worked with start work at 7am... .and end work at 3 pm....go to the gym after work or have other activities or just want to get out of the downtown and enjoy the rest of the day. What difference does it make what time he wants to meet? Perhaps some flexibility would show your willingness to meet someone and be open to new experiences.
now...again if you suspected he was married...just tell him to buzz off and move on. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:38:12 PM | | It was Oscar Meyer cause his opinion means less to you the B-O-L-O-G-N-A | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:48:57 PM | | OP - it's not Bologna and it doesn't come in sandwiches. I'm afraid that this comes via a load of CRAP! Good for you passing on the deal. You smelled a stinky, dirty fish, and you threw him back in the pond. You listened to your gut instinct, and save yourself grief. If one is inflexible and comes across hiding something, something doesn't smell right, period end of story. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:14:02 PM | | On the second date with one guy, he told me that he was really a wolf inside and was saving up for a wolf suit. He then asked if I would like to have wild animal sex in the woods. I HOPE it was baloney, but I didn't stick around to find out. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:38:11 PM |
Please, skip the obvious. He's married. And I won't be meeting him. That question isn't even on the table!
So whats the question then?? | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:46:34 PM |
So whats the question then??
Try reading what she said. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:06:27 PM | That the women that called my ex (umm, what shall I call him, as boyfriend does not cut it)...Anywho...the women that called him at 11pm and after on a Friday or Sat night were just calling him to "chat" and that they were "just friends" ( he never answered it when we were together and those calls came in)
The women that text messaged him that they were horny and was he available were just "friends" as well, or he was desperately trying to get rid of them, but just did not want to be rude.
As well, all his ex girlfriends that he insisted on keeping in touch with were "just friends" and they all knew he was dating me...when I asked that question of him...AND, when he invited them places or to his place it was purely platonic, and he was going to tell me about it, EVENTUALLY.... | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:52:19 AM | > What kind of bologna have you been asked to eat?
It was long long ago... probably way back when yahoo was free, that I was gonna meet some gal I'd exchanged a few messages with and talked with once on the phone. She had this strange requirement that I pick her up (at her place of work, I think) and do the driving to wherever we were going to go. I thought the rock solid "norm" for first meetings was a public place, with both parties arriving independently. I pressed for going by the book, but she was insistent, though she didn't really have a good reason she could give. Needless to say, I thought something was fishy and the thing never happened. Strange requests before the first meet are almost always a deal-breaker, though perhaps some people try to engineer them to test to see if the other person is desperate or needy enough. Or maybe there are just a lot of quirky single people out there. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:31:57 PM | [quote So whats the question then??
Try reading what she said.
Thank you, JNH456. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:48:51 PM | | I state right on my profile here NO BREAKFAST DATES. Not my style. If a man wants to meet you (and I can understand why - you are very pretty), he should be willing to meet you when and where YOU would like to meet. Stick to your guns girl. A good man will be willing to accommodate you. Hold out for a good one!!!! | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:50:27 PM | Thats probably when his wife is on her way to work.Since when did Starbucks start serving bologna? | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:57:13 PM | If someone is that inflexible and is so rigid, then you were right.
Red Flag!
Of course being married, just makes him a big fat disgusting cheeseball. | |
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| Coffee and Bologna
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:46:56 AM | You people are harsh. Maybe he and his live in girlfriend are grifters and he wants to break clean from that element. Or maybe he's ashamed that he is required to wear an ankle bracelet.  | |
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