| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:56:51 PM | And if you did, did you think it helped? Or was of value? AND was there anything that you wish they would have told you then that they didn't cover? Just wondering because of some of the comments that I have read here recently.
My county requires co-parenting class attendance for any parties named in a custody agreement...and I thought it was rather helpful even as someone who had a bit of a grasp on co-parenting before walking in there. Some of the skills are difficult to remember in the heat of a disagreement but the good outways the bad normally. Kindof wish the ex would have listened a little more closely but then to him it was mostly just a waste of a Sat morning (his words at the time). | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:19:24 PM | | Honestly, I thought it was a waste too. There was some good information in mine, for mediation... and the fact that there are a HUGE number of divorces going on, at any one time... but most of the stuff in it, was kind of lame. Basically, telling you how to handle things, that I think most people should already know and understand. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:11:35 PM | | had to in order to get a seperation paper in place .. in the Great State of Arizona .. it is manditory for all couples divorcing with children under the age of 18 to both attend seperate classes .. in fact before a judge will look at your divorce papers you both have to submit the certificate that you had completed the course ( and you can't attend at the same time .. you have to make sure you are both in seperate classes). Was the class benificial?? well it was for 8 hours on one saturday. I had to get a sitter for both my children at the time ( ages under 1 and 3) .. and I had to sit through the majority of the class that was geared towards divorcing couples of school aged children. What it did teach me was how to passively and through avoidance side track major issues I had with my soon to be ex so that the children were not present for most of his little temper tantrums when he didn't get his own way. That alone was worth the $50 fee charged for the course. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:07:40 AM | Interesting that only 2 people have responded...
Happyboi, I would agree that it covers things that "people should already know and understand" but all too often aren't and there are some sticky situations that can come up that I frankly hadn't even considered at the time of my class (but then like vandbmom, I had a single younger child only then).
Vandbmom- how interesting that you had to take it before anything moved forward. Probably a PITA to some but I know of people who have avoided it for years before the paperwork caught up with them. Hmmm...I would think what you learned would have been worth the cost as well. Do you think it helps as the child grows as young children certainly do grow into school aged children (I am sure they are trying to gear the class to the "majority" by giving it that aim)? | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:21:12 AM | Texas doesn't require it, I wish they did but they should require it before they let you out of the hospital when you have kids. People that are forced to go will get nothing out of it. There are many people that have never read a parenting book and likewise have no idea how to appropriately deal with the other individual or to actually work toward raising children together. So, for many people it would help but within the context of a forced thing with a divorce?
Unfortunately my X is not interested so it does not occur to me to even ask him before I make decisions about the children's medical care, the school, or anything else. I wish we had and that he had with the kids a relationship that would actually make him a part of these things but he is one that would not benefit from such a class because he never thinks he needs to know anything or that he does anything in a way that is not really particularly hot. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:22:50 AM | Required in FL
100% WASTE OF TIME
Good parents have already read everything that was covered 10times over.
Crappy parents didn't care to listen anyway.
I normally pick my son up after school, then take him to his mom's later, because she takes him to school, and would have rather spent that time with my son than sitting in a class room. (4hr class + $40)
I sat in the very back of the class, and most everyone seemed attentive. There did seem to be 1 or 2 ladies that were taking notes.
Of course the lady "instructor" had 2-3 examples to share with us of men that were angry coming into the class and afterwards told her that the class really helped them. So of the 1,000's of people who's life she has wasted it was worth it because she helped ~5 people. WONDERFUL !!!!!!!!!
It was a complete waste of my time. My son's mom had the exact same thoughts. We did the divorce ourselves, have no anger issues, and are doing everything to do what is best for our son. Losing time with my son because of a mandidated class, made me mad.
I hope that I am clear on which side of the fence I am on with this topic. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:52:33 AM | Oh Kelman, come on, you can tell us how you really feel!  It sounds as if you 2 had a good co-parenting relationship to begin with, so I can see why you might see it as a waste... | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:16:44 AM | | Here in Idaho it is mandatory before the divorce is final, as well. I found some interesting tidbits, but in all honesty, it could have all been posted on a website. I could have read it from home, and not had to waste the money on the class, nor the gas to drive there. Quite honesty, there are some good tools out there that would allow them to RECORD a class, put the poorly photocopied materials together in a PDF file, and then put a little quiz afterwards that has to be filled out, to complete the course. Then, you could refer BACK to it later, if you had any questions. I don't like conventional classes. It has been over a year, and quite honestly, I don't remember much about the class. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:14:21 PM | | nothing wrong with taking a co-parent class. I think it's awesome courts recognize the need to get both parents on the same page of communications. With both parents attend a course, there is one source of information and one perspective on communications and intractions with the other parent. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:46:34 PM | | I think it's required in Alabama when a divorce is done. I think any little bit helps but only if both partners are open to it. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:46:13 PM | I had to take it in order to getting a divorce in Montgomery County, OH. I liked parts and on times I've had to step back when my ex who has in some parts i don't think taken anything to heart. I step back in a way when my ex is telling my daughter things of a negative sort of me and I know that i would have to rethink how to phrase things to not continue the being negative in front of my daughter.
I still have to deal with the "you're step mom is to be called real mom and your real mom is mommy katie" ...um no. Also my ex likes to mess with the visitation schedule, which a little of flexibilty when work issues arrive is fine, but the class did "ram"home that to keep documentation. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:03:43 PM | I would like to see this co-parenting class offered to "about-to-blend" parents, as my understanding and somewhat my experience is that children are a bigger challenge in a subsequent marriage than the usual 4 or 5 most common challenges in a first marriage.
They say the main reasons people divorce are in-laws, money, sex, parenting, and there might be one more. I would venture to say that in subsequent marriages where there are kids involved, said kids would be the main stressor, above all the other usual ones.
If more people took subsequent marriage type relatinships more seriously, and attended blending a family classes, before cohabitating, and maybe even before letting the kids in on the plans, I think it would dramatically help the subsequent marriage divorce stats.
Where are the classes for incoming step-parents to learn how to co-parent with a bio-parent, and for the bio-parent to learn how to accept another leader at the helm? | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:56:08 PM | I went.. I love it!... it empowered me.
I knew I had to fight for what I wanted. To speak my mind...and that there were a whole slew of resources out there if I needed them.
anyhow... me and like two other women felt the same way.....and the rest of the pple there were there cos it was court ordered before they could do the pre-liminary meeting with a judge.
it was informative and as I said it offered a lot of resources ... like ways to do a lot of the filing and to go back and add things to the list of things you want in the custody.
I did not use the resources as I was divorced in BC Supreme Court and there is no wiggle room to keep going back and forth like BC Provincial Court divorces.
it was worth attending for me. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:54:31 PM | I took a co-parenting class, and in benefited in an ways. In perspective, it reinforced what I was already doing. In the best interest of the children. Understanding how they feel and to open our eyes to how our actions effect them, both physically and mentally.Yes it is tasking for us as well.But as the adult is our job to help them thru this. Having the tools and understnading,makes the transition as easy as it can be.I realized what , we do and we act effect them forever .
Chinese proverb said it best: "A child is like a piece of paper everyone leaves their mark"
I always think of this , when in doubt. I give them the support and understanding they need.Hoping , one day they have the strength and courage, to look back and realize it was for the best. With compassion, empathy to make a difference in their life. Knowing even though their parents divorced they are always there for them , unconditnaly, Now and forever.
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:59:14 PM |
Where are the classes for incoming step-parents to learn how to co-parent with a bio-parent, and for the bio-parent to learn how to accept another leader at the helm?
Google. You'd be surprised. There are a couple places in my town that offer blended family classes. You can also try calling around (try family counseling centers in your area).
You will likely have to pay for them, since it's not mandated by the state like co-parenting classes are.
I went to a co-parenting class when my daughter's father and I were divorcing. I wasn't impressed. Most of it is common sense. | |
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| Who has taken a co-parenting class?
Posted: 3/1/2008 11:03:51 PM | I went to a co-parenting counsellor. it was a bunch of crap, we still fought etc. We needed someone to mediate between us, and it never worked. I knew things were going bad when the counsellor looked at my ex and said "you're being unreasonable" and "you can't expect that".
It's two years later and the emails all still go through the counsellor, it's a big waste of time and money for some couples, but I can see the merit to it... they show a happy ending and I think for a lot of people, it would work. Keep in mind this was an actual counsellor and not just a class. | |
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