| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:03:55 AM | There are conflicting views on here about dating more than one in the early stages, about trust issues, and even trying to work out whether it is too early to move in etc.
Do you find the early stages of a relationship stressful?
Do you just enjoy it and have fun without worrying about expectations from either side?
Or do you maybe target people that are unlikely to be more than flings, and enjoy the relationship all the more knowing that it is probably limited to that? | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:13:41 AM | Just go with the flow..no great expectations. Have fun and if it turns out to be something long term and special, all the better. However I feel if you force the issue or try to make the relationship into something it is not, it will never survive.. Don't live in the past or the future, just enjoy the NOW...
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:48:18 AM |
Do you find the early stages of a relationship stressful?
Hell no..................just lay down the rules so he knows where he stands.....
Do you just enjoy it and have fun without worrying about expectations from either side?
Yep.........black thigh high boots, long cat 'o' nine tails, basque and I am as happy as a pig in muck...................as to what he is expecting...............apart from a dam good whipping...................don't worry about his enjoyment too much................
Or do you maybe target people that are unlikely to be more than flings, and enjoy the relationship all the more knowing that it is probably limited to that?
Target!! only his backside.....................and enjoy it as long as I can............... sometimes all night...................... | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:51:29 AM | I agree with storm300,just enjoy each time you spend together,have fun and get to know each other without having great expectations and hopes,that kind of thinking usually ruins things and doesnt always stay the course,and like previously mentioned,leave the past in the past and let the future take care of itself,if it becomes something more then thats good,in my personal opinion,I always keep my eyes wide open,dont let my heart rule my head,just go with the flow and dont expect too much at the start, enjoy!! | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:29:06 AM | I do have "ground rules"
and always make them clear to whomever asks me out.
1. it IS just a date.
2. do NOT expect a legover, because it IS just a date.
3. do NOT expect me to be at your beck and call if you're not at mine.
4. do NOT expect me to be available if you never are.
to me its all about socialising (If i ever get a date).
dating is different from a relationship. a relationship is exclusively 1 on 1. no others involved, if there are... "bu-bye"!
simple as..... | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:38:25 AM | I'd go with option B, "Do you just enjoy it and have fun without worrying about expectations from either side"
As for anything else when the time is right i presume i will know it is!!
I just prefer to relax and enjoy my time and try to get to know someone, how do you know if it's going to be a fling, just a date or even the real thing unless you just chill and enjoy the journey | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:40:25 AM | Do I find the early stages of a relationship stressful? No, I just enjoy the time I am having. If you have expectations, that is when problems arise. If it lasts, great, if it doesn't, then I will have had a good time anyway.
Life is too short to worry.
As for targets, I only go for men with bulls eyes on their backs!  My trouble is I am a rotten shot!  | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:01:10 AM |
Do you find the early stages of a relationship stressful?
Only if the L word is mentioned then I leg it. ( l l l l o v e)
Do you just enjoy it and have fun without worrying about expectations from either side?
Yes, and one day his expectation may be the same as mine.
Or do you maybe target people that are unlikely to be more than flings, and enjoy the relationship all the more knowing that it is probably limited to that?
All sorts of thoughts spring to mind, and NO. | |
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2mass
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Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 9 | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:04:29 AM | Take each day as it comes..... just go with the flow.
If you read too much into things or expect too much too soon then you will go stir crazy....
Just let it happen naturally and have fun along the way.
What will be will be  | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:14:43 AM | i'm not going to say the 'right' thing here..
for me, each situation has been different, and if i'm truthful the most enjoyable, stress free dating has been with people that i wasn't really 100% into..
i have, in the past, found that the more i like someone, the more stressful things have been..there's a pressure (from myself) to be on my best behaviour, to try to impress, to make them want to see me again...
it is only now, and reading the books that i'm reading, that make me realise maybe how 'needy' i may have appeared (god that makes me cringe just saying it!)
the answer? to sort out my issues, and to build up as much self worth as i can and then it won't matter if mr mightberight doesn't reciprocate.. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:18:21 AM | i agree with you spiral
i hate it when you have been mailing then talking on the phone for a while,agree to meet for a date,then get hit with a list of dos and donts
takes all the excitement out of meeting for the first time
surely the excitement of dating is the element of the unknown,not already having this list of things that aint gonna happen in your head,much more fun to find out
OT: i think you just got to take things as they are date by date and if its meant to be it will develop into something more | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:10:37 PM | just as i suspected a man objected..... most of those rules are not voiced unless necessary.
was it item 2?
no i dont voice my ground rules immediately you two! they are MY ground rules. i dont expect to tell a man those things straight away.
and isnt a relationship supposed to be relaxed and stressfree, to allow it to try and grow?..... i think if you've got to be on your best behaviour, theyre not seeing the real you? and at some stage the real you will out...
I guess i have a good handle on stress, i refuse to take part in it. what will be will be, there is no point worrying yourself over no call, text, or invite out, if it isnt going to happen nothing you can do will change it.
If they do call, text, invite you out..... bonus! but see it for what it is and not like some do "this is for keeps what wedding dress do i want" (after one date)
easy way to make a bloke run in the opposite direction is to A. behave like you own him, and B. behave like he owns you. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:16:43 PM | If there was “no connection” in the first place there wouldn’t be a relationship to worry about. Being easy in each others company is what it’s all about and any hint of stress or game playing in a new relationship and I’d be gone. I’m not going to worry about it !!
Ground rules can be laid before a first date in the most subtle way without making a list of do’s and don’ts. If they’re not acceptable … tough … glad you cancelled.
It's a two way thing and everybody is different .... can't be forced or manipulated ... go with the flow. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 1:20:09 AM | and isnt a relationship supposed to be relaxed and stressfree, to allow it to try and grow?..... i think if you've got to be on your best behaviour, theyre not seeing the real you? and at some stage the real you will out...
thats exactly what im getting at,if im given a list of dos or donts before a date im not going to be relaxed as ill be anxious about saying the wrong thing instead of just being myself
ive always been "me" on a date and if me isnt what the date is looking for then better to have tried than never to have found out
and no it isnt about item 2 ,i go in to dates with an open mind and no expectations,its more about finding out if we really get on in person after some weeks of mailing and talking on phone | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:13:52 AM | I think that there is nothing wrong with being on your best behaviour on a first date , and you can do that without "not being you" ... but if anyone brought out a list of dos and donts then I would be gone in a flash
You should - IMO - just go with the flow and not expect too much in the early days .. expectation brings disappointment ! | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:17:31 AM | i just think i've dated so much that i've become a bit jaded with the whole process..
having the same conversations over and over, telling the same stories, raking over my past, finding out i like someone only to be told that they're not interested, or vice versa...
i've gotten to the point where dating isn't fun anymore...it's a pain in the ass!
i used to be great at it! everyone i met either wanted to see me again or at least wanted to stay friends...but over time i've become cynical...listened to this story and that story and formed opinions and conclusions that male me see 'red flags' in practically everyone.
it follows on that i used to have such an innocent attitude towards dating...never judging or drawing conclusions, just seeing what happened, but i suppose after a run of not so great experiences i have kind of shut down...
anyway, this post is academic because my attitude is picked up before anyone ever thinks about asking for a date, so consequently they don't happen these days anyway! LOL
negative post?? probably, but that's my mindset right now. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:14:32 AM | tch tch so many people scared of the "L" word....
Unfortunately dating and even making friends with people of the opposite sex is hard after awhile. Not because of expectations or even just enjoying the time with someone but just because it becomes "same old same old" and really you just want to settle down and have and new adventures with the same person. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:35:56 AM | They can be stressful depending on what you want out of it and if the person your dating seems to give hints etc
Iam in a new relationship and just trying to enjoy it as much as i can. I think hes lovely and really hope its going to go somewhere but avoiding rushing in and putting too much focus on the future and just enjoying the here and now.
He doesnt give much away but i think he likes me too and wants things to progress but its hard to know how to find out lol | |
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Nergal
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Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 23 | |
| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:50:00 AM | | A relationship should be easy, if its hard work then there is something wrong. I'm fine with discussing future possibilities like moving in, but thats all they are. I always take things in my stride. Its about spending time with someone because you want to, not because it fits some hidden agenda. I find women can be really guilty of that. I blame the media for that, 'on the third date its ok to kiss' or 'by six months he should be getting down on one knee'. You cant plan a relationship like that, just let things happen naturally. | |
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:50:20 AM | hahaha, if he lives past the first 2 months of my mood swings fair play, he has achieved where others fail.....
he still has is testicles in tact... his head on his shoulders, doesnt cower when i move... yep, all the makings of a good relationship.....
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| How do you deal with the early stages of a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:54:40 AM |
Do you find the early stages of a relationship stressful?
No not at all, unless its one of those clingy types who don't stop texting and get all insecure if you don't reply straight away!
Do you just enjoy it and have fun without worrying about expectations from either side?
Yes thats me, I enjoy and have fun. I find the first few weeks of a relationship really exciting but I want that to last long term and it never does! | |
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