| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:23:56 AM | Of all the women I have dated, I made the first move for all but one. The one that made the first move was the only sane one. Now, I am not saying all of these women need to be committed, but some are really that nuts.
Why do I keep falling for the crazy ones? I suppose I am asking advice on how to spot the crazy ones, since I can't seem to tell until it is too late... | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:18:37 AM | It's an interesting question and hard to answer without knowing more about you or having examples of the kind of "crazies" you attract or choose. However, here are some tentative answers:
1. You have a low self-esteem problem and think that the only kind of women who would fall for you are those with serious issues of their own.
2. You are something of an eccentric and would be bored by women who follow the straight and narrow path. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:29:48 AM | " I consider my primary flaws to be stubbornness, procrastination, and indecisiveness."
HMMMMM.......stubborn...run late all the time..and can't make up your mind whacha want to do??
Sounds like a slacker to me..........even in the dating dept. ....
I don't think THEY are crazy...but get frustrated by your FLAWS.
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:42:12 AM | Think we are all in the same boat !
Even if you take your time to try and get to know someone , and then start to see them there is no guarantee that they are not crazys !!
Some you can spot before and other's are great at hideing it until the right time ? then zap !!
Like most thing's in this life, you learn by experiance good and bad !
This orical is the same for both men and women.
Thing is do not commit until you are sure, better to be slow than trapped with a crazy ! | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:25:34 AM |
2. You are something of an eccentric and would be bored by women who follow the straight and narrow path.
This is pretty close, I do consider myself quite eccentric, but I had never thought that I would be bored by "normal" women. Thanks for the insight.
What EXACTLY is it that makes them crazy? Explain. Well, one thought it was important to make up people and tell me about their crazy lives so I would pay more attention to her.
Another believed that it was OK to cheat on me, later feels guilty about it, then tells me I am good enough to find a person, I just need to go to church. Like she does...
Another decided she didn't want to be a lesbian anymore, but failed to tell me that she was a lesbian before she dated me. Then she dates another couple of guys then goes back to women.
These are the most extreme examples of crazy, I could go on in detail about the few others that are similar, but I find it unnecessary.
Sounds like a slacker to me..........even in the dating dept. ....
I don't think THEY are crazy...but get frustrated by your FLAWS.
Wow. Harsh much? In my defense, I can only tell you how I perceived my relationships. I will not tell you that I was completely free of fault for each and every relationship that failed, but I would hardly count myself as a slacker in the dating department.
Think we are all in the same boat !
Even if you take your time to try and get to know someone , and then start to see them there is no guarantee that they are not crazys !!
Some you can spot before and other's are great at hideing it until the right time ? then zap !!
Like most thing's in this life, you learn by experiance good and bad !
This orical is the same for both men and women.
Thing is do not commit until you are sure, better to be slow than trapped with a crazy ! I took my time with all of them, and it was obvious that some of them were a little off fairly quickly. I can chalk it up to not knowing better. Now, I am on the lookout. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:23:28 AM | OP, there's no surefire way of seeing soon enough that someone is "crazy." I had one lady, when I decided that she wasn't what I was looking for, basically stalk me---she'd leave letters on my door, notes on my car, call me at all hours, show up at my door at odd times---begging me to give her another chance. I would never have thought she was that unbalanced, she seemed initially and on the surface to be emotionally stable, then to have that happen...Or, one lady I know had an ex of hers go so far as to threaten her new boyfriend to stay away from her or else, even though the ex seemed to be a really mellow guy when you meet him. You just never know.
Anyways, there just isn't any tried and true method (short of being a real mind reader)of seeing through somebody and knowing before everything goes south that he/she is nuts. It's part of the dating scene, and the chance you take. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:03:38 PM | Ya stick to your guns,time things right and weigh your options.
If these are flaws,what's your best ? | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:10:06 PM | i recently thought i had a sane one. turns out the saner they seem the crazier they can be. at this point all i can do is wish ya luck with that cause i tell ya i`m outta the dating game for a long while. i honestly, just my opinion here, think that the smarter a person is the more deceptive they can be. maybe if ya find an airhead that can`t think for themselves you`ll have better luck lol. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:44:26 PM | Dont know what to tell you bud. When you figure it out let me know. All I can say is dont give up. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:49:09 PM | I just broke up with my boyfriend. I told him that the break-up was for my sanity. I told him that I didn't think I was mentally healthy enough to handle a relationship with him. This is for my own sanity. I cannot handle all the "baggage" he has in his life.
Does this clarify things a bit? | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:27:19 PM | | Don't be so hard on yourself. As soon as you realized that they were crazy and not just having a stressful day or bad time of the month or whatever, you bailed. How were you to know they would turn out to be that way? Furthermore, even when we see "signs" of something, we don't want to make the mistake of being overly suspicous or making premature assumptions. There is no shame in discovering that a person we had been dating is not what we had hoped they'd be. The only shame comes when we have proof that a person is bad for us, and yet we ignore the evidence and blindly go down the primrosed path anyway. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:42:37 PM | | Well, again, it seems to go basically on looks, age, etc. My expeerience is that guys my age want the 25 year olds with long hair, etc, etc.....well, lets think back to how we were at that age...hmmmm...maybe look past the "PICS" and the legnth of hair and the size 2 image.....guys say they don't want that, but if you are honest and say you have some extra pounds, all of a sudden you are obese!!!! Hello, if you want normal, look for normal..... | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:07:09 AM |
Ya stick to your guns,time things right and weigh your options.
If these are flaws,what's your best ?
Well, according to me: Honesty, loyalty and kindness. Asking my friends, you might get a different answer substituted for any one of the three, but they would agree to the other two.
Don't be so hard on yourself. As soon as you realized that they were crazy and not just having a stressful day or bad time of the month or whatever, you bailed. How were you to know they would turn out to be that way? Furthermore, even when we see "signs" of something, we don't want to make the mistake of being overly suspicous or making premature assumptions. There is no shame in discovering that a person we had been dating is not what we had hoped they'd be. The only shame comes when we have proof that a person is bad for us, and yet we ignore the evidence and blindly go down the primrosed path anyway. Oddly enough, I have never dumped any of these girls. Despite my their state of mind, they all had enough sense to realize that we were not good for each other. I have this stubborn determination to try and see things through, good or bad. Only when I'm told "it's over" do I give up. Perhaps that is flaw, or a merit, but I'll let you be the judge of that. | |
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| I sure know how to pick 'em
Posted: 3/1/2008 1:13:57 PM | Some people have similar things about them, for example...
My ex, since I was with him for so long, I am able to now recognize all the characteristics and aspects about a guy, that may very well lead me down the same road.
Sit and think to yourself over these past dates that were nuts?
What do they all have in common. I am sure you will come up with some things, and I do not mean their looks exactly. Just their mannerisms, the way they expressed themselves, those sort of things you normally do not notice about someone right off the get go. If you can get somewhere with that, then you'll become attune to such things that may tell you to keep a higher regard on the person you are dating, because they could end up being quite like the others.
With that being said, don't over analyze too much, or you'll drive yourself crazy, and may loose a good thing if you make too many assumptions. It's sort of hard to explain, I just know personally, I dodged a few dead beats. | |
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