| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:01:22 PM | I feel really self conscious about this. I'm 25 years old and I have absolutely no experience in relationships (I've never even been kissed.) I used to be really shy, so I never dated in high school, and I just recently started working on getting more outgoing and becoming less shy. I don't think I'm ugly, and I've had women interested in me, but haven't acted on it because of my shyness and fear of rejection.
Anyway, what should I do? I have no clue on how to date, since I've never done it before. How can you get experience if everyone else is more experienced than you are? | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:06:05 PM | | Don't date....make some friends! Get to know women as friends. You will know if anything else develops. Don't go looking....but meet new people and pay attention. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:07:11 PM | Join things and go out in mixed groups so you get a feel for socializing with women on a friendly level first. When you feel comfortable, your fear of rejection will decrease and you'll be more willing to ask a woman out.
Meanwhile, I'm sure there's a book called "Dating for Dummies" or something similar. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:44:47 PM | | Don't do what you're not comfortable with and you sure don't want to force yourself into anything, but everybody is new at it up until they finally try it out. There's no other way but to just try it out and not worry about things like rejection because just because one girl decided she didn't want to date you, doesn't mean you didn't gain experience. It takes a lot of trial and error. | |
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jdb57
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Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:01:55 PM | | These women are so smart, yes? I would suggest you overcome your shyness and boost your self confidence. You don't have to completely transform who you are, just advertise yourself better. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:07:50 PM | Continue to take baby steps outside your comfort zone OP. And congratulations! It is not easy overcoming shyness. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:16:22 PM | Tread cautiously,
Women will run faster then an elephant from a two foot mouse if they detect any sign of social awkwardness.
lata | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:39:51 PM | | Just go for it. Really. Be sincere and genuine, and if you fall flat on your face in some situation, treat it as a learning experience and move on to the next experience. You don't have to have had an experience to have an opinion on whether you think doing something is nice or romantic. Try not to overthink it - I think that will just make you seem more awkward and self-conscious. Not to be wanting to quote "Hitch" here, but women want to be swept off their feet. Just try to make bold, decisive movements in general, and try to imagine yourself in the woman's shoes and try to be respectful and considerate. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:10:53 PM | Everyone gets rejected more than they don't (at least it sure seems that way to me). Don't worry about it.
If a girl doesn't like that you are inexperienced it is her problem not yours.
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/1/2008 11:06:53 PM | personal word of advise scorpio....check out the ohio forums if you haven't done so already. i used to talk to a few people in there and they're really nice. they also have a pretty good amount of events that they normally host.
put a pic up so people can see who they're talking to, mix and mingle in the ohio forums and pretty much show your face and your words around in there. attend a few events, mingle with people in person, make new friends....you never know what can become of it. don't worry about rejection, no one likes to be rejected...don't look at it as you're being rejected, look at it as if either one of you wasn't right for the other...no harm done.
if you're not sure on how to hold a conversation with someone in person, talk to a female online in messenger. don't talk to her as if she's on the net but as if you were talking to her on the phone....that would teach you how to talk to people (get rid of the shyness). do that first if you're not sure how to talk to people then start attending events. i helped a very good friend of mine out that way and he met the woman that he's getting married to this june.
just be comfortable with who you are and never act as if you're someone else. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:02:36 AM | I usually seem to bounce from one relationship to another by meeting people through people, but getting speaking to new people i find really difficult. Trying to get over shyness by going to clubs and dancing, often get girls dancing with us but not much usually comes from it, not always the kinda girls that are looking for relationships anyway i suppose  | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:11:17 AM | The responses to your post so far have all been great ideas, and I notice your profile says that you're only here for the forums... HOWEVER...
Maybe you should toss up a couple pictures, strike up a few conversations with random people who's profile caught your attention and see how it goes?
I've met a few people off the internet, some were good experiences, some were bad.
You'll never know til you find out, right? It's all about being outgoing and trying new things. | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:43:47 AM | the best thing to do for fear of rejection...... go in with no expectations. cant be disappointed if you didnt go in with anything to begin with right?
dont worry bout dating like some of the others have pointed out on here, friendship first is the best method. granted it may take a while before it progress into something, but as the old saying goes "good things come to those who wait"
there isnt much to going on a date:
1) meet up with someone somewhere nice
2) engage in pleasant conversation
3) pay her some compliments
4) try to be witty and crack a couple of jokes to ease any tension
5) be mannerly and pleasant
6)end off with a hug and kiss on the cheek and hope to go on another one
im sure this isnt the only method of going on a date, but it can give you a general idea  | |
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| What should the inexperienced do?
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:52:03 AM | * Go into every meeting with the idea that you may make a nice friend.
* If it does not work out - don't take it personally!
* Be yourself and share a little about who you are that may interest her.
* Ask about her likes and dislikes and her life!
* Always be a gentleman and be honest!
* Continue to work on your confidence and keep a positive mindset! | |
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