| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:21:06 PM | If relationships could revert to the 1950's era, what would you keep from this era to take back to that era as far as relationships go.........a type of "Blast into the Past" if you will..............
A lot of the younger generation say they are confused about their male/female roles in today's society and have no sense of direction. They think people showed more respect for others in the 1950's and in general men and women had more respect for each other. I have heard young women say...............they would prefer a society where women married fresh out of high school, stayed home, cooked, cleaned and raised children and men concentrated their efforts into supporting the family and once again dominated the paying workforce and governing the nation. Young women are angry and frustrated with feminism and what the "women's movement" did. They feel like there is no opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom and raise their children without the aid of daycare. So back to the times and lives of "Ozzie and Harriet", "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best"
Please, no gender bashing even if it is your own gender....... | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:24:43 PM | Um, yeah I don't know one girl who wishes she could marry fresh out of high school and be a house wife to squeeze out a few.. Just think, a good portion of those marriages are now divorced and/or in debt. I'm not sure where these young women are that you speak to, but they should be HAPPY they get the respect they get now. Women were not respected then. They were expected to act a certain way, and live only to populate and please her husband. She was not free to express herself in any way.
These days, women are free to be sexual and be who they want to be. They can get any profession they want and while things aren't perfect, it's a HUGE step from being expected to do nothing with your life except be a maid/nanny to a man. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:24:55 PM | I believe that I would love to go back to that time...i was never there but from what I hear, woman were more respected. There was none of the issues that we have now. Like every time i log in here there is someone that is asking for sex. Whatever happened to good friendly conversation? Overall, it would be nice to that when we have kids we have the option of staying home and getting to know our kids. I don't have kids but I know that when I do I would want to be with them. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:27:22 PM | Gender roles have become confused... but that's because we're in a transition period. It'll sort itself out eventually.
For all the flaws of the modern world, I like the way that things are headed.
And let's be honest--- Ozzie and Harriet? Leave it to Beaver? Father Knows Best? They don't really reflect the reality of life during the period in which they were made.
As to the response about marriages ending in divorce--- you could argue that the marital system breaking down is in part related to the fact that men and women no longer need each other in order to support their household. They can live separate lives. When your life depends on your fixing a problem, I think it's more likely to get fixed.
I would also say that the system that we have now is still better--- because for every person that worked their shit out there were probably a couple that just lived with their problem... which sucks.
Still interesting to consider. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:36:42 PM | Oh sure everything was better in the 1950's
Women were not allowed their own sense of identity
Women had no reproductive rights at all
If she wanted an abortion, it was a dangerous and unsanitary procedure
If your husband or boyfriend hit and abused you - tough - it was between a man and his wife.
Your husband could rape you and you had to take it.
You squeezed out children you didn't necessarily want.
Women had narrow roles in society, oh, but there was that PTA and Home Makers thing to look forward too.
The 'Good Old Days' ? Feh! | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:48:19 PM | | No thanks...I'll pass. And as far as gender-bashing, I apologize; it was a man's world then, and it is still a man's world today. Unless you're filthy rich, you don't have a prayer if you don't have a dinger. Sorry, but that's the truth. Love, Titus | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:50:38 PM | ^ I dunno. I know some pretty successful professional women who worked for everything they've got.... and I know some men who can't get a break.
It might be men at the top.... but the bottom of the pile looks pretty even these days. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:52:09 PM | As a female scientific researcher, I can definitely only agree that we should wind back time to the 50's. Afterall those were the glorious days were respect for women was so great that women were not allowed to enter the lunch room at English Universities. See biographies on the co-discoverer of the structure of DNA, Dr. Rosalind Franklinm whose data were pilfered by James Watson, who also - no doubt out of great respect for Dr. Franklin - did not offer her co-authorship on the publication describing the structure of DNA and so ensured that he and Francis Crick didn't have to share the Nobel prize with her.
Even better, let us go yet further back to the times of the physicists Pierre and Marie Curie, where the latter, though by then already a Nobel Prize winner (she got two Nobel prizes in the end, and her daughter Irene Curie one as well) only with great trouble was allowed to become a professor after Pierre had died in an accident. Amusingly Pierre would never even have finished his doctorate, had Marie not been pushing him, and he always deferred to her when it came to anything more complexly mathematical, so i am sure it must only have been out of great respect for women that people felt Marie should stay at home, bare foot, in the kitchen instead of being a professor. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:57:14 PM |
So back to the times and lives of "Ozzie and Harriet", "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best"quote] and VALIUM. and alcohol, plenty of it.
I disagree with your statements - I've never heard a young woman wish for a 50's lifestyle. I haven't met an angry and frustrated young woman either; they seem excited about their travels and interested in their investments and not too many of them seem interested in marriage/kids before age 30.
I have met middle age women who are angry and frustrated by men who dominated the marriage, who accepted clean underwear, hot meals, etc as their due while they built their careers, who reneged on the '50's deal' by ****ing off and leaving said women high and dry.
So my 'blast to the past' would involve dual careers and domestic staff. Cooking/cleaning/daycare is poorly paid and has a lousy pension plan. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:03:46 PM | You're simply buying into the myth that "that's what it was like" in the 1950s era.
It's possible that I see things differently because I come from an immigrant background, and lived in an immigrant neighbourhood, but that life didn't really exist in my world (granted, I grew up in the '60s, not '50s), but almost ALL the wives/mothers worked outside the home, even then. My mother and all of my aunts but one (and she was a semi-invalid) had careers or at least jobs in the '30s and '40s and '50s, and both of my grandmothers worked (one was a teacher and the other a seamstress) as far back as the 1900s.
The big difference I see today is the extended family has become more removed, which makes dual working more logistically difficult. My mother worked without it being a big problem for my parents, because my grandmother lived with us and was there for the kids when we got home from school. That was very common in my neighbourhood. In other cases, some families had enough older children to help take care of the younger ones. Or one auntie who did stay home in an extended family minded a batch of kids from their brothers and sisters.
My only suggestion is not to believe there was actually a "way" people lived. And no, relationships aren't significantly different now. Some are/were great. Some are/were horrible. Most are/were a combination of great moments and horrible moments. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:07:30 PM |
If I could, I would bring back a woman from 1950's era... then sit down and laugh at all of you who went back.
Why on earth would you not want to be one of the lucky people to get to ride in one of the VERY FIRST Model Ts? WHY?! Would you not like to own your own piece of history? | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:13:15 PM | | I had a very good upbringing so I have nothing to complain about but I think if I could go back 50 years at the age I am now I would. I think to say that men could abuse their wives and were only good for pumpin' out babies is an exaggeration. There was more decency and respect for oneself and others back them. There was a better sense of family as opposed today where everyone is off doin' their own thing from an early age. Long gone are the days where family will sit down together at the dinner table or watch a movie on tv. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:14:49 PM | TV shows in the 50s were to reality what reality tv shows of today are to reality. There's very little correspondence.
We really haven't seen the full impact what society is evolving into. My parents, aunts, and uncles were all sitting around once discussing life. All of the women on my mom's side (who are of similar age) are either nurses or teachers-- that's what they said their options were. I don't think it will be until the current children are running things that the transition even begins to enter its final stage.
Transition periods are always rocky.
The problem with the whole "some people want to be home makers" thing is that it involves a sacrifice. It could still be done in an affordable way, but now that the economy is built around a dual income.... there would be some sacrifices. And we, as a culture, love our stuff. We're competitive about our stuff. And we want more stuff. So we need a dual income to support our desire to have stuff... which makes it hard for one party to stay home even if we wanted to. (I would be a shitty house-husband though. I'm not what you'd describe as tidy. [Note: I once had to fill out an online job application that asked me a series of questions about me so that they could analyze me. One of the questions was a yes or no question: "You could describe yourself as tidy." .... I responded yes. "I COULD describe myself as tidy... I WOULDN'T.... but I COULD."])
This was longer than intended 'cause I ramble when I'm sleepy. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:17:33 PM | My word! Not all women married fresh out of high school. Some actually (gasp) went to college and on to satisfying lives.
Some of you appear to denigrate stay-at-home wives and Moms. But, those women were amazing. They ran their homes with the precision of the most efficient CEOs. They spent time with their children and taught them core values instead of placating them with the latest and greatest in electronic technology. Their families were not bordering on obese from eating fast food too often.
Exercise was a walk after dinner, not a trip to the gym with the flashiest equipment. Communication happened on front porches and over dinner, not a quick conversation on the cell while rushing from one activity to another.
It wasn't all sunshine, lollypops, and roses, but it sure as heck wasn't that bad. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:23:49 PM | I was there. Graduated high school in 1960. Anyone who recalls the 50s fondly was not there.
But I'd agree that the pendulum has swung too far. Feminism (parts of it) has nothing to do with equality. It used to; I did read Betty Friedan.
That's how things work in our society. All the best ideas are highjacked. The Civil Rights Movement began with a passion for equali For a while it was dominated by people marching in the streets. Marching around not JUST for equality. Many were just strutting around, to show they were superior to everyone else.
I was raised by a working mom who raised five kids. She worked her career around her responsibilities. She "did it all" decades before it was fashionable. But she never shortchanged her kids ... and if she had, I doubt she would have used "feminism" as a bleeping excuse for her own irresponsibility.
Here's a memory of mine, which is so typical of the 1950s. I was a letterman in two sports, co-captain of one. Not only did young guys sport that "brush" or "flat-top" haircut. If your hair was longer, other athletes would LITERALLY beat up on you physically ... while the coaches, who were of course teachers, LOOKED THE OTHER WAY.
Looked the other way.
If you didn't already know what the musical "Hair" was about, I've just told you. Imposed conformity was almost too severe for you to believe, if you weren't there. And don't let my beard fool you, I was a Goldwater supporter; he got my first prez vote ... and during 'Nam I was active in the "antiwar Right" -- yes, there was an antiwar righ -- Truly different drummers, when too many of the "different" drummers were marching in lockstep.
The 60s, while liberting, had also created a New Conformity. The same conformity your question considers all these decades later. They dressed the same; talked the same; thought the same ... but unlike the 50s conformists, these witless boobs were proclaiming their individualism!
I fought for your right to march to your own drummer. Don't ever give that up. And I'm an atheist -- but you be a stay-at-home Mom if that's what you want. Homeschooling your kids has to be better than our useless pubic schools anyhow.
Despite your own personal God, or lack of one, worship also at the altar of Voltaire. Adopt his sacred words as your personal commandment.
"I disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
If enough of us do simply that, we'll all be fine.
Please note: it was only IMPOSED conformity I attacked. The right to be different is not an OBLIGATION to be different. If you are comfortable being like everyone else in your peer group, you may lose me as your friend. But I shall always be your advocate.
It's not the conformity that is right or wrong; it is the imposing of one's values -- any values -- upon another.
If my different drummer is not the same as your different drummer .... we have a chorus!
The glorious chorus of liberty.
(Confused? Back to Voltaire).
You want to move that pendulum back? Fine. Just don't go too far in the other direction.
(Just to clarify: Your question is very good, quite legitimate. This may not be precisely the response you were looking for! And yes, I am a writer). | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:24:44 PM | Why on earth would you not want to be one of the lucky people to get to ride in one of the VERY FIRST Model Ts? WHY?! Would you not like to own your own piece of history?
Hate to burst your time bubble, but the Model T was in production from 1908 till 1927; not the 1950’s. You need to step back into the Way Back Machine, Mr. Peabody.  | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:27:18 PM |
Hate to burst your time bubble, but the Model T was in production from 1908 till 1927; not the 1950’s. You need to step back in the Way Back Machine, Mr. Peabody.
Lol, I was just thinking that too. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:29:05 PM | | One time I read an article from some old newspaper or magazine that was published in the 1950s. It listed many of the things that a woman was expected to do. One of the things it stated was that "a woman isn't suppose to disagree with her husband because the man is always right". Basically women were seen as inferior to men. If this article was printed today, the writer of that article would have been harshly criticized. Today men would be less likely to get away with doing the things that were mentioned in that article. There might be certain aspects of the 1950s that were better for women, but overall I don't see how life for women was better back then. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:32:49 PM |
Hate to burst your time bubble, but the Model T was in production from 1908 till 1927; not the 1950’s. You need to step back into the Way Back Machine, Mr. Peabody.
That was the point! It was pretty funny in my mind. So I thought I'd share it with you all. | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:41:01 PM |
My word! Not all women married fresh out of high school. Some actually (gasp) went to college and on to satisfying lives.
Some of you appear to denigrate stay-at-home wives and Moms. But, those women were amazing. They ran their homes with the precision of the most efficient CEOs. They spent time with their children and taught them core values instead of placating them with the latest and greatest in electronic technology. Their families were not bordering on obese from eating fast food too often.
Exercise was a walk after dinner, not a trip to the gym with the flashiest equipment. Communication happened on front porches and over dinner, not a quick conversation on the cell while rushing from one activity to another.
It wasn't all sunshine, lollypops, and roses, but it sure as heck wasn't that bad.
Excellent post!!! | |
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| If relationships could revert to the 1950's era......
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:42:24 PM | Northeast .. Is this the piece you are referring too?
HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE
Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. | |
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