| Dealing with the "psycho ex"...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:31:40 PM | So... continual phone calls (on multiple numbers)...
Getting calls from her MOM trying to guilt me into dealing with her...
And other craziness...
I know it's a rather redundant question... I should just be doing what I can to ignore her.
Of course part of the problem, is she's started harassing my folks as well.
And while I could care less if someone is pestering me, as it's not too hard to ignore such things... having someone bother my folks... that's just way over the line.
I guess trying to have their numbers blocked my be one solution. I guess I just call up my phone service provider to get that done.
Any suggestions or advice? | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:34:38 PM | Have you looked into the harassment laws in your area?
Also legal threats don't really stop a truly crazy person, they will stop someone who's only temporarily lost their mind over "love".
Hopefully you NEVER answer. Your parents should NEVER answer as well. Never. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:36:50 PM | Are they just phone calls? Isn't harassment illegal??? I know I made one phone call ONE time to my ex husband's third ex wife's work to let them know she was using her position at this store to spy on me. She'd check receipts to see how much money i was spending on food. Anyways, I was slapped with a harassment charge and had to go to court mediation. The outcome was positive in my favor however.
I would think this falls into the harassment category big time, especially if she's calling your family and bothering them. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:50:09 PM | | I'm not quite sure where to look up what the local laws about harassment would be. I guess I could always ask my cop neighbour. :p | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:52:48 PM | | just call the police. they can tell you about the laws and they can advise you of what to do. but do it quickly before it escalates. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:56:51 PM | | If they have call display you don't even need to block the number, but if not, then blocking is probably the simplest method to go about this. That really sucks she's harassing your parents but hopefully this hasn't been going on TOO long and that it won't continue too much longer. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:05:33 PM | have you tried calling the phone company to report the calls.
Usually they will change your number for free to an unpublished number if you are being harassed.
Your folks would have to do the same.
check with them and check with the police on telephone harassment.
good luck to you | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:30:20 PM | Yeah, I'll just do what I can to get the numbers blocked. Mainly for my folks.
I don't mind just hanging up when I she calls... but my folks shouldn't have to deal with it. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:41:35 PM | | Well, I only have call display on my cellphone. My home like (and my folks) don't have it. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:43:25 PM | Restraining order against her and her mom to start.
....follow thru if either of them break the order.
pretty simple here Adam... do it. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:08:47 AM | "I guess trying to have their numbers blocked my be one solution"
You "guess?" If that's an option, then it's the first option.
"Getting calls from her MOM trying to guilt me into dealing with her..."
That is bizarre. I'm having a hard time imagining someone doing that, who must be about my age. What do your folks make of this? Of course it has to stop, and maybe they have some ideas. And I would ask the police for some advice too. And then, I would have to plunge into some home-schooling about how to detect a psycho in advance. Easier said than done, but anything for self defense. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:33:02 AM | | I think there may be more to this than meets the eye. Do you know why she's calling? Do you know for sure she's not pregnant, for example? Was she psycho before she met you or has she gone funny in the head as a result of the relationship? If her mother has become involved, how psycho can it be that she needs to talk with you? Are you sure it isn't just convenient for you to call it psycho so that you don't have to deal with the fallout of how you behaved during your relationship with her? Is the psycho "my sweet Mai" whose relationship with you you made incredibly public by posting intimate details all over PoF? I doubt it is as black and white as you are making out and perhaps the reason you have not blocked her or reported her to the authorities for being a nuisance caller might be because you know there is more to it than the black and white case of psycho woman harassing innocent man that you are presenting here. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:54:57 AM | Perhaps dealing with the situation?
mum's wouldn't get involved unless there is reason to and if she has something to use to guilt you? well just shows that you should deal with it even more. I find it interesting that you say you can handle if someone pesters you. Is tuning out your way of dealing with things? If people are not ready to move on we are partly responsible as we have not given them proper closure. It took years for my ex and me to be able to walk away but we were also together for a lot of years.
Just take responsibility for your part and give proper closure. I doubt half of the so called psycho cases are that at all. But if its true then take legal action and be done with it. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:43:40 AM | | if you feel the harrassment can turn physical, go to the courthouse and get a restraining order | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:30:21 AM |
Well, I only have call display on my cellphone. My home like (and my folks) don't have it.
If you serioulsy want to do something about the situation, get caller ID in both places or get answering machines or both. Document calls, let the answering machine pick up the calls and if she speaks, you have her on tape.
Don't whine about not knowing where to look up your local laws. You have the interenet at your fingertips, you can use the resources and knowledgable people at your library and you can get a consultation from a lawyer.
If this is really bothering you, you should act and not make excuses as you seem to be doing now. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:53:55 AM | | I agree with Rune on this one. Her mother calling and asking you to talk to her is somewhat odd and it seems like there has been a bit of a dissapearing act going on here. Most parents do not get involved with their kids relationships and you are 31yrs old so unless this girl is a minor I find the fact that her mother is involved is very telling. Pretty interesting how quick you are to throw out the word Psycho when you talk about someone you obviously had some sort of connection with...... | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:56:30 AM | OR YOU CAN BOOBY-TRAP YOUR YARD, THEN INVITE PSYCHO OVER. YEAH, THAT CRAZY LUNATIC WILL BE RIGHT OVER, THEN ,BANG! CAUGHT IN A NET WHILE A NEST OF HORNETS ATTACKS.
THAT'S WHAT I DID TO MY EX. OH, THEN SHE CALLED THE RELATIONSHIP OFF. STUPID RESTRAINING ORDER
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:26:41 AM |
Do you know why she's calling? Do you know for sure she's not pregnant, for example?
Yeah, no worries there. I took her to the hospital, tests all said it was nothing. She was just having bad cramps and such.
After which, I'd told her I wasn't going to be her taxi service every time she needed something. She kept calling anyway, always needing something.
It's been months now... but she won't stop.
And no, it's not "my sweet Mai". She'd never do such a thing. Things between us ended amiably.
I'll just be reporting it to the authorities. Apparently my phone service company charges a stupid amount just to have a number blocked. :p | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:33:11 PM |
Apparently my phone service company charges a stupid amount just to have a number blocked.
Most local phone service companies have a package deal on extras. Mine offers Caller ID, Call Blocking, Call Forwarding, Call Waiting, and Three-way Calling all for one price of $4.95 extra per month. Call Blocking service usually allows you to block up to six numbers. Also, phone companies are required to act on harassment claims. They usually require that you do a Call Trace ('*57') on the number and that puts a record of the numbers involved into their logs. Once you do the trace (use *57 immediately after the call ends), contact the phone company right away and tell them you have a harassment complaint and have done a trace. There is usually a charge for running a trace, but at least you have a record of the incident. If you contact your phone company again, make sure to get your complaint escalated to, what is termed in the business, 'tier 3' support. This gets you over the minimum wage drones that run purely off their scripts (not their fault, that's just the way it's set up by most major companies).
Just make sure you do contact your local authorities and at least get some form of paper trail going. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:27:14 PM |
Any suggestions or advice?
This is a stupid question, but did the girl actually get any kind of closure when you broke up? You might just want to talk to her and be adamant about exactly why you don't want to be with her so she can move on. | |
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| Dealing with the psycho ex...
Posted: 3/10/2008 10:10:59 PM | | It is harassment as well as stalking. That's sad and pathetic that she is doing that. Just head to the police station and ask for a restraining order. If she contacts you or comes near you she can be charged and thrown in jail. | |
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