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 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 1
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No-Strings Attached SexPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Not meant to get people in a huff here. But really,.... how many people would mind, or even admit to wanting or having no-strings attached sex.

I mean... if you are single... and looking for a relationship, but nothing serious has shown up. Or things seem to be NOT going so well in the meeting department.... then is it something you would think about.... or even do, if the offer was there? With no one getting hurt of course.

No arguments, just opinions please.
 TheUndomesticGodess
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 2
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:49:15 PM
Hmmm...yup...you're opening a can of worms here nb native and I LOVE it. lol. You go girl! keeping the forums interesting...I have been there and done that a fair bit over the last year and a half. For me...it was exciting and great at first but by the time the year was over, I felt empty and disillusioned by the experience. I want more...no strings attached sex means no emotional/spiritual committment, no security, no love...and it's a lot like having a great meal without the dessert. One of my students referred to it as "single serving love". I thought that was great! For me, I would rather wait and 'love myself' until the right person comes along. Meaningless sex really IS just that: meaningless. I'm not settling anymore.
 goldenearing
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 3
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:11:02 PM
how many people would mind, or even admit to wanting or having no-strings attached sex.
mmmmmmm let me think......... About 50 % of the worlds population ie men.
 Mr. Mxyzptlk
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 4
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:28:40 PM
felt empty and disillusioned by the experience ... Meaningless sex really IS just that: meaningless

Well said, UG; I don't know if it's possible to express it any better than that. This is exactly why it has no appeal at all for me. There was a time when it did, to be sure... but I'm not 14 any more. Aside from saying "I agree," there isn't really much I could add.

About 50 % of the worlds population ie men

As soon as I saw the thread title, I wondered how long it would take for the discussion to degrade into ignorant, vicious, sexist BS. I see it only lasted until the third message. That's a new low even for this forum. It's a great topic, though, and thanks to nb native for starting it. I can only hope it will be the first two messages that set the tone for the thread, and not that one.
 crazygurl36
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 5
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:51:07 AM
i have been there done that also.now being a mother and having them living in my house...i can't and won't allow it.i have to much respect inside[now]for myself and for them.sex is great and is needed.but for me i want and need everything else that goes with having someone in my life.

just how i feel...and yes ug,you expressed what and how i feel also!
 Chris_C_83
Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 6
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:29:39 PM
I personally rather be with someone special to me and have a relationship than just having a string of "one-night stands". No-strings attached sex gets you off nothing more, something you could do yourself... it may be a little more enjoyable but there is no room for confusion/guilt when doing it manually as you know you wanted to do it and knew the outcome; while there is always the possibility in "no-strings attached sex" that one person may not feel that it is a no-strings thing or may change their mind on their thoughts towards it. Whereas with a relationship, you have someone to talk to and spend fun times with in and outside of the bedroom.

Now in saying all this though, if the opportunity arose for no-strings attached sex, honestly I might take it or I might not it depending on my mood but I wouldn't really actively seek it.
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 7
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:19:09 PM
how many people would mind, or even admit to wanting or having no-strings attached sex.
mmmmmmm let me think......... About 50 % of the worlds population ie men.


.... hmmmm and this comes from a man. I guess some men see things differently, as do some women. Nothing is clearly black and white. Grey is a real color. Not only women, (and not all women) think that all men are dogs, as apparently at least one man in this thread thought so.

As for the Op, reasonable question ....not easy to answer. As has been stated by others, it isn't always cut and dried. NO STRINGS doesn't always mean the same thing to everybody but as an older woman, I must also agree with UGD...what we may or may not have done in the past is not necessarily something we are willing to put ourselves through again. Be it 14, 24, or 34....things we did when we were younger have left imprints on our souls and caused us to find some things less than acceptable at this point in our lives. Emotional self-abuse is not something that I am anxious to set myself up for. Personally, I don't think No Strings Sex exists, at least it doesn't exist for me. Not at this stage of my life.

The comment on masturbation is also valid, in my opinion...... at least you can trust the one you are with, if you are alone.
 Mr. Mxyzptlk
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 8
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:16:53 PM

all men are dogs, as apparently at least one man in this thread thought

The point being...?
Sexist crap is sexist crap, regardless of the source. Coming from a man doesn't make it any less ignorant or offensive.

Back on-topic, there is still really not much to add. "No-strings" sex is little more than mutual masturbation. Without an emotional connection, sex really involves nothing more than "getting off," which makes the whole thing a rather selfish exercise. The other person should be there to participate, not just to be used; otherwise, it just holds no appeal for me.
 lady_pearle
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 9
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:38:27 PM
NB is back and stiring up the pot again......woo hoo!

No strings attached sex.....hmmm.....I do believe this came up at coffee tonight.........I wasn't going to put my two cents in -- just crack a joke about how funny NB is but figure it would come out wrong and ruffle everyone's feathers, you know funny in person but not so funny written down sort of thing. So to all the coffee go'ers - you know where I was going to go with that.

On to my two cents worth, for me there is no such thing as no strings attached. I have tried it and found (for me) it was lacking. I mean sex I can do for myself, so why bother if there aren't any strings...

Just another version of an answer to this great topic.
 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 10
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:41:46 PM
hmmm.... all great answers. I do agree.

Although I am hoping to find a serious, loving relationship one day, soon... I have been known to participate in the No-strings sex.... and to be honest... can't say I would never ever do it again. It isn't on my list of priorities, and not something I seek out. I did say I was being honest lol.

All in all, I guess I don't look down upon it, or look down on people who do it. To each their own. But I also hope that all who are seeking something more, find it.

Norma
 Quiteguy76
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 11
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/7/2008 9:57:09 AM
I don't even know where people get off on no strings attached sex.

For me I have to be in a relationship or know that it is going somewhere before getting into something. I am not going to wake up in the morning feeling like I may have put my d! ck in a hurst. Yes I know wear protection I would if it came to that. But I am not one to jump around or even have one partner for that matter strickley for sex. I find it boring and disrespectful to both sex's some people are ok with it,, I for one am not. I don't judge those who do do get me wrong or get your panties in a bunch if you miss read this.

For me cuddles and kisses are fine till I feel what she feels and we both know its the right thing to do. Till then jerk it with some jergins.
 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 12
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:30:18 PM

Till then jerk it with some jergins


Lmfao... too funny. I love it.
 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 13
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:36:43 PM
Lmfao... this didn't last up there long. I guess there is either alot of people NOT willing to admit that they would do this. Or it is still too Taboo to talk about.

Oh well.. I tried lol.
 Chris_C_83
Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 14
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:37:40 PM
Everybody is too busy trying to get the sex to talk about it :p
 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 15
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:40:43 PM
Lmfao... too funny. That very well could be the case lol. maybe after this weekend
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 16
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:43:05 PM

I guess there is either alot of people NOT willing to admit that they would do this. Or it is still too Taboo to talk about.


there is a third option Norma...
the possibility that there are people who just don't or won't do it. It isn't that we won't admit to doing it .. or that it is Taboo to talk about. It is just that for some of us, been there done that .. won't go back, pretty much says it all.
 -mara-
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 17
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/15/2008 11:28:32 AM
Well said, Willow. I agree with you 100%. There are still a lot of people who are either from a generation where uncommitted sex is just plain wrong, or else they have enough self-respect to avoid the no-strings attached sex deal.

I'm not calling anyone nasty names, but, what works for some will never work for everyone, it's a matter of what's right for the individuals involved. No matter what you call it, sex involves 'strings', and those strings can tighten even if you don't think so. No human allows that intimate contact without 'feeling' something and those feelings can and have gotten hurt way too many times.

Personally, I don't go for it, but that's my generation. I still hear my Mother saying: "Good girls DON'T" Call me old-fashioned, I really don't care, at least you can never call me a tramp, or a slut. That's what I'd be calling myself , so it's not 'class' that keeps me chaste, it's fear of how I'd think about myself afterwards. In the end, we all have to face ourselves for what we do and how we live.

 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 18
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/15/2008 7:31:04 PM
Exactly mara... not calling anybody names or casting aspersions on anyone, but....my point was that I personally have been there.. and the feelings that I had for myself, after all was said and done, were not something I am willing to put myself through again.
I am not saying that those who are ok with it are wrong....not at all. Just that it is wrong for me.....at this stage in my life.
I guess maybe that I am at a stage where sex isn't all that important. Romance and respect and companionship are far more appealing and if sex happens to be part of the package.. even better.
 Ed57
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 19
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/17/2008 6:25:38 AM
It shouldn't be taboo to talk about, it is a natural thing to want sex. Some people, men and women aren't llooking for a serious relationship so does that mean that they should go without sex? I don't think so. Nothing wrong with having a "Sex Buddy":
 sunshine54321
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 20
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/17/2008 12:36:30 PM
well here it goes

there is some sexist peeps out there and they are not all men.sure some men like the no strings attached thing but not all.the same goes for women to (HELLO).this may not make me a lot of fans but there are women that like no strings and there happy with that.you can call them names for that ore you can call men names for the same reason.i dont whatever peeps enjoy doing they should do without haveing peeps judje them ore puting a lable on them.i think a lot of you women should stop looking at men as men.and a lot of you men should stop looking at women like women.you should look at each other as pepole!you might be suprised what you see without all of those pre concived notions.i have done the no stings thing more than once and all i got out of it were some verry good freinds.poor me!would i do it again?well one can never have to many good freinds.

thanks nb native

sean
 ***belle***
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 21
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:17:30 PM
Men love no-strings attached sex, the more the merrier so to speak. No-strings attached sex is often coined as "variety is the spice of life" or" living life to the fullest" by many profiles I read .

Today's women are letting the men having their no-strings attached sex. Men certainly do not complain and they welcome the idea.

Logically, there is nothing wrong with the concept if men and women are supposed to be equalled,but you will find when the men are ready to settle down with their women, 9 out of 10 times you will find the men opting for the women whom have the least sexual partners. That is just my own observation.

Personally, I can not see myself having no-strings attached sex which is very empty to me. It's all depends on how one values oneself. Perception is reality.
 Mr. Mxyzptlk
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 22
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:50:08 AM

Men love no-strings attached sex, the more the merrier so to speak

Did we really need any more of this sexist crap? As a wise old saying goes: speak for yourself. Not all men are so shallow; some of us realize that there is more to be had from a relationship, and we want more.
 ***belle***
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 23
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:02:16 AM
Msg 22,
Please read msg 20. The concept of friends!!
Mr. M., "Most" was left out, you are too particular or maybe too peculiar(?).
Those women who want no-strings attached sex will not be bothering you...well ..maybe they will try. I will not bother with a man like you who condemns others very quickly.
 crazygurl36
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 24
No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:17:39 PM
some men do like ''no strings attached''but so do some women.it is all a choice from both sexes.those who want to are free to do so.there lives.we all make our own choices in life.

if it works for either then so be it.....enjoy!!!!
 nb_native
Joined: 10/2/2004
Msg: 25
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No-Strings Attached Sex
Posted: 3/31/2008 4:24:16 PM
Some people make it sound like women are led on by men for no attached sex... when in reality... now a days, women are just as likely to offer it as well as men. And for the same reasons. They are looking for sex, and thats it. Nothing else. AND... just because a woman has no strings attached sex.. doesn't mean they have alot of partners.

It is great to hear the opinions, but is funny the assumptions people make. Alot of people have grown throughout the years, and women are not looked at, as so oppressed anymore. We do have minds and bodies that WE choose to use anyway WE choose to. Doesn't have anything to do with their intellect or promiscuity. It has to do with what people want.

I try not to judge people. I have learned a very long time ago, that what I think of a person isn't always WHO THEY are..... Good or bad. Makes for a better life and friends.

Norma
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