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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:38:23 AM | I was amazed to read this article that 30% of people on dating sites are married. http://emailrevealer.blogspot.com/2006/12/online-dating-everyones-doing-it.html
I had one experience where a woman I met online was married but I had no idea it was such a high percentage. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:42:54 AM | | I hate to say this, but that's actually lower than I thought - I think some of the people in the surveys lied...it wouldn't be out of their character. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:45:12 AM | | this is like a dam playground for the married so and so's. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:45:15 AM | Because everything you read on the net is true, right?
Dude, if your intereperating someones blog as fact you should probably not be doing anything online. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:51:44 AM | | i agree, you should measure blog info with a grain of salt, but i think its likely true that 30% of people ond ating sites are married, as being seperated counts in that too, | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:57:15 AM |
I think some of the people in the surveys lied
who knows, people could be lying on this site!
Because everything you read on the net is true, right?
POF is on the net... cybercity is indeed scarier, cybertruth may not be real truth ... lotz of oxymoron | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:02:23 AM | | Well I am "seperated" but still married. Even though *I* know we are NEVER getting back together....... i'm STILL a married woman, lol. So maybe not all 30% is "married but looking to cheat on their spouse" maybe some are split but not divorced yet. It's funny when guys message me that has "Must NOT Be Married" in their profile. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:26:47 AM | | No offense to AngelDust, but seperated and not divorced is still married. I would not be anything more tham platonic with a seperated/married woman, only because you never know what will jump up and bite you on the butt. What would happen if you got seriousand wanted to marry? | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:39:22 AM |
i'm STILL a married woman, lol.
The horror. The horror.
(Yeap, life goes on.) | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:40:22 AM | Really? You people honestly believe more than 30% are married?! I mean even if you included the separated and waiting to be divorced group I would have never thought it'd be close to 30%! I haven't encountered a married woman yet who said she was single. And I know from looking at the countless profiles that not one out of three is listed as married or separated, or even divorced for that matter! So I wonder where these numbers come from, as well as your perceptions of these true figures you folks talk of.
Beershark,
What's the difference if someone is separated or recently single from a long term relationship? I think you have to worry more about the person coming off of a 6 month relationship with someone, as the passion and fire is still very hot there. They may be angry at each other today but one look or word from the other and they could be rolling in the hay again. Separated people generally take a long time to come to terms with their decisions. They think long and hard about it before they go ahead and break the other's heart, unless it was mutual and then really what do you have to fear?! People don't get back together because it's cheaper than getting a divorce either! I've heard that excuse before. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:48:37 AM | MagicalAngelDust, you state your status and reasons in your profile so you and others that state in their profile they are separated or married are not misleading anyone and no one has the judge you or anyone else that is honest. I had one married guy, about 30, contact me. He was nice enough.
I didn't judge him. I told him that I understood that some gals may prefer married guys because they are "Safe" but that I would not be interested. He wrote back and thanked me for replying and to tell him if I changed my mind. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:58:31 AM | | Legalities. That's the biggest difference. As the third party you would have deal with who knows what may rear it's head later. It also reflects a degree of laziness and procrastination. It's over right? Why not get the divorce? I can see some instances where there might be a viable reason. I know an elderly gentleman who had been seperated for many years without getting a divorce. I asked him why. Health insurance.He was retired military and if he if they had divorced she would have lost coverage, which she desperatly needed. Barring something like that there is no excuse for not getting a divorce. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:40:57 PM | In all of Canada, and a lot of the states, you need to wait a certain amount of time being legally separated before you can even file for divorce. In Canada it is one year. You have to demonstrate that you've lived separate lives for an entire year before you apply before the courts to end the marriage, unless there was adultery and then you can file whenever. But adultery is VERY hard to prove in this country. My exwife wanted to do so, as she was in a relationship pretty much the day we ended things and I have dated for the past 6 months. But I talked to a lawyer and she said I literally had to provide a video with chronological reference to prove they were having sex while we were still married! She said that my exwife and her boyfriend taking the stand to say yes, they had intimate relations was NOT enough to file for divorce. Although my best friend's wife divorced him for not even sleeping with another woman but merely kissing her (obviously there was other problems) but it got pushed through the courts in about 6 weeks time. So I am really at a loss there. All I know is that most people here need to wait the year out. My separation date was May 27th, and I intend to be in the courthouse on that morning with my exwife to file our papers. And then it takes a minimum 31 days from the day we file, if nothing is contested and the agreement is fair and legitimate according to the judge. If all goes well we will be divorced on June 28th or so. But who knows. I know in the states I've heard of people filing and it taking a year to go through the courts because of the system.
I know my mom's boyfriend of 8 years is still married, and he remains married because they own a lot of land together and in order to separate the land would cost them a fortune. Even if she signed over say 1000 acres to him, and he 1000 acres to her, so their names were cleared off of each of their other's share of the land, they'd be looking at 10's of 1000's of dollars to make the switch. They rent the farm land all out so all they do is the rent cheques get deposited into one account, and at the end of the year he does the taxes, takes the tax portion out of the account, and transfers half the remaining balance to her account. They never see or talk to each other at all, not even for the kids. No contact. I couldn't do it, but for some it's functional.
I will tell you that I've seen the other side of this though. My ex-wife's mother's boyfriend of 10 years (they've lived together all that time also) is still married to his ex because she will not sign the divorce papers. He has to hide all of his assets and business dealings and EVERYTHIGN is in my ex-mother-in-law's name. Now the law states that no monies or assets earned after separation are part of the divorce but somehow this woman keeps trying to take what he makes. He's very well off and makes a fortune with his businesses. He even sold his business that he bought AFTER he separated from her with his trust fund that she had no right to legally and when he sold it a few years ago paid her a few hundred thousand dollars to shut her up because she was going to fight him in court for half the payout from the business, which he said he would have paid probably 100K fighting her in court anyway. But she doesn't quit. She's a gold digger. And she's since shacked up with another wealthy man and is STILL at it trying to get this guys' money while she is sucking the lifeblood out of the new guy I'm sure. But this is a rare case I think. Most people want to just move on. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:28:42 PM |
I hate to say this, but that's actually lower than I thought - I think some of the people in the surveys lied...it wouldn't be out of their character.
From my short experiences here I think that a bit high too, I get maybe 20% married[no pic's naturally] or separated female types who are looking for Mr. Goodbar, and that maybe higher to the married guys who are looking to find some extra martial affair,
who look for [Ms. Goodbar] who is either horny,desperate,lonely or whatever.
But for the most part to find a women who has a clear and free is about 10% at best.
I find most of the women are in some kind of transition period ; either waiting to see if they should stay and or back with last relationship, using this site as a band-aid for now and or see if there is someone better who will fill there needs and wants yet too scare to commit and rather live in a kind of a semi-coma thingy lifestyle.
I do prefer the 10% who are interested in a relationship and patience is a virtue.
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:47:05 PM |
Well I am "seperated" but still married. Even though *I* know we are NEVER getting back together....... i'm STILL a married woman, lol. So maybe not all 30% is "married but looking to cheat on their spouse" maybe some are split but not divorced yet. It's funny when guys message me that has "Must NOT Be Married" in their profile.
I had a friend of mine who questions why people that are seperated, are still not yet divorced, he questions "What's the hold up??", he said it took him no more than a WEEK to get a divorce. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 6:31:56 PM | Yes, when I read that number I found it far too easy to believe. I like others expected the number to actually be a little bit higher, and I am not talking about the seperated type of married people. That report has been around for a while, although I'm having problems finding the original source now that I'm searching for it. If I remember correctly it was actually reported by CNN. A friend showed it to me after I kept meeting married man after married man pretending to be single on sites like yahoo, match, eharmony, and here.
The problem is it isn't just online dating where this is happening. The original report I saw also mentioned that the odds are close even in church or at the supermarket for a man to pose as being single and hitting on a woman. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:15:44 PM | | The saddest thing it is the married ones who get all the dates ! | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:23:30 PM |
The saddest thing it is the married ones who get all the dates !
That statement is not only false, it is so ridiculous that it has zero merit. I'm single and I have several new guys contacting me every day that would love to date me. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:42:39 PM | | Kelley, I don't think you refuted his comment at all. Do you actually go out with those guys that contact you? All you said is that they would love to date you, not that you wanted to date them. If you didn't go out with them then you're actually backing up his statement. :) And how do you know for certain that they're not married? I guess if they're your age the odds are much lower that they are taken since you're barely legal. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:53:32 PM |
not be anything more tham platonic with a seperated/married woman, only because you never know what will jump up and bite you on the butt. Like you will know what is going to bite you in the butt with one that isn't? Is there some kind of magical mirror or crystal ball that only works on non-married women? Give me a freaking break.. | |
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| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:56:33 PM | It hasn't changed over the years. First I think it's higher than 30%, but if it is only 30%, then it's always been that way. Even before dating sites, back in the '60's through until around mid '90's when dating sites came about and people started using the Internet a lot, marrieds were out on the prowl. It's always been that way and always will be.
No matter where I worked or owned businesses during the times mentioned, married people were getting together romantically with other than their spouses. It's the human condition. | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| Over 30% are married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:00:28 PM |
I'm single and I have several new guys contacting me every day that would love to date me.
You are also 19, thin and pretty...does this really suprise you? | |
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| I'll post the whole article
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:00:17 PM | The survey was by MSNBC not the blogger:
Online dating: Everyone’s doing it
WOW! According to a recent MSNBC article about online dating web sites "Research published earlier this year indicated that about one-third of online personals users are married; Clifford thinks 20 million married Americans will be interested in using online personals in the coming years."
Well that might be news to some people but not to the trained investigators at www.emailrevealer.com . we have been aware of that fact for some time now. thats why we invented the "Dating Service (infidelity) Assessment" search.
If you suspect your spouse, or lover is cheating this should be your first step in catching that suspected cheater.
MSNBC.com
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Online dating: Everyone’s doing it
A dot-com business that actually makes a profit
By Bob Sullivan
Technology correspondent
MSNBC
Sept. 19, 2002 - Selling love over the Internet seems like the perfect business model. Virtually all your content is donated for free. Your customers are motivated by the strongest urges mother nature can conjure up. And they think $20 a month is cheap compared to the price of a drink at a singles’ bar. Until recently, there had been a catch — the weird factor. But that’s a distant memory now, since it seems everyone’s doing it. Virtual matchmaking has become the Internet’s third killer app, behind e-mail and the Web. Can the “mad growth,” and genuine profits, continue?
Far from the cloak-and-dagger days of newspaper personals, online dating has gone mainstream. Match.com sponsored NBC’s Wimbledon coverage last month. Yuppie New Yorkers sometimes include their Nerve.com aliases in every e-mail, as part of their virtual calling card.
Over 18 million people visited online personal Web sites in June, according to research firm Jupiter/Media Metrix — up from 14.8 million last October. And nearly one in five men who are online say they do some “window shopping” on the personals at least once a month.
Those meteoric growth numbers have been seen before in the age of the Internet, from many dot-com flameouts. But there’s a critical difference in the online personals space — paying subscribers.
Perhaps money can’t buy you love. But love, it turns out, is one of the few things people are willing to buy online.
A real return to romance
Market leader Match.com now has 600,000 customers forking over about $25 a month.
uDate.com, which also operates Kiss.com, had $1.5 million in revenue in June 2001; last month alone, the company took in $4 million, according to president Martin Clifford, and the company has just enjoyed its fourth straight profitable quarter.
Yahoo, No. 2 in the online personals category, is much cagier about its growth, but the company beat its chest about its love site at its most recent quarterly earnings announcement, saying personals made a “very significant contribution” to revenues.
“I don’t know if you’ll continue to see the current mad growth,” said Jupiter analyst Stacey Herron. “But online personals will still grow at a healthy rate.”
The key, Match.com president Tim Sullivan says, has been marketing efforts to “legitimize the category” during the past 12 months.
“My own sister got married last month to a guy she met on Match. It’s very mainstream now,” Sullivan said. “Anywhere I go, if I’m in a crowd of more than 6 people and say what I do, invariably someone comes forward and says that they have been using Match.”
A database of dates
Running an online personal business is a pretty cheap date. People volunteer themselves, and their photographs, as a constant supply of free, compelling content. All the sites do is manage a searchable database and work to develop smarter search tools that let suitors sort through potential dates.
“I have 43 employees, and we’ll bring in $43 million this year. That’s $1 million per employee,” Clifford said. “We have zero cost of sales within our business ...The margins are almost super-margins.”
Naturally, the super-margins — not to mention real profits when the rest of the dot-com world has imploded — have entrepreneurs falling all over each other for a piece of the love pie. Jupiter now tracks 29 general-purpose online dating sites with catchy names like “Crushlink.com,” “Heartdetectives.com,” and “Datadate.com.”
And then there’s the second-tier, specialty sites, like the aggressively sexy “Nerve.com” or “PlanetOut.com,” which have dedicated followings and promise users a more targeted field of prospective dates.
Niche Web communities, which have been jealously eyeing the love profits, are jumping on the bandwagon too. Personal ads are being sprinkled on top of established Web communities all over the Internet. Journalists looking to date other journalists, for example, can now find their future mate at Mediabistro.com — which was founded as a writer’s professional networking tool.
The sites operate in nearly exactly the same way, allowing directed searches on everything from zip code to height to salary to eye color — then providing some kind of computerized matchmaking to supplement personal searches. Most offer regular e-mails with rosters of computer-selected candidates. uDate.com offers a specialized service called “Encounters” which tells you if a member has even looked at your ad — a mixed blessing that allows for some additional interaction possibilities (“So, I noticed you gave my personal the once over last night. Want to chat?”)
But there’s a sizable drop-off in users after personals titans Yahoo and Match.com, and the smaller players face a problem that’s similar to what eBay’s competitors face — people tend to go where the largest crowds gather. Just like more bidders mean higher prices for auction sellers, more personals subscribers means more possible dates.
So, many in the crowded field won’t last, Jupiter’s Stacey Herron thinks. “I do not think all these sites can hang onto the fueled growth we’re seeing right now,” she said. “They’re banking on people signing up for 3 to 5 dating services, and some are. But that won’t always be the case.”
Lookers and payers
There’s another fundamental problem for the business right now — window shoppers and free riders. Each dating site works the same — posting a profile of yourself, including photographs, is free. So is browsing through the thousands of eligible people. And with some, you are even notified that a prospective mate is trying to contact you. But to contact your future date, you have to take the plunge over the subscription wall. And right now, dating sites aren’t faring all that well at getting customers to take the plunge.
While 6 million people each month visit Match.com, and the service boasts 3.25 million profiles of eligible people, only 600,000 are paying customers. That 6-to-1 conversion ratio is typical, the other sites say, and they are all experimenting with ways to push lurkers over the subscription wall.
“We spend a lot of time figuring out creative ways to market to those users, trying to find the magic pixie dust to turn them into a paid subscriber,” said Yahoo’s Katie Mitnik. “The single best thing you can do is show this person appropriate (candidates).” Yahoo, like most other services, offers regular e-mails with lists of computer-generated matches, hoping that one of them will be enticing enough to get an unpaid registrant to fork over their credit card.
The heartbroken come back
On the other side of the coin, dating sites have an odd problem — generally speaking, a successful customer goes away. In fact, 75 times each month, Match.com users marry each other, taking at least 150 users out of the system.
But success stories actually generate much more business than they cost, Sullivan says.
“If a person joins Match.com, we hope they resign in one month because they found ‘that’ person,” Sullivan said. “There is not a better marketing voice for us than someone who meets their person online and tells their friends. In this business, churn is a wonderful thing.”
Besides, Clifford said, the singles population is constantly changing, with children coming of age, breakups and divorce. “The census bureau statistics will not change as a result of online personals getting people together,” he said. “There will always be plenty of single people.”
Also keeping business rolling: plenty of relationships that begin with an e-mail introduction don’t work out — and apparently, the heartbroken don’t blame the breakup on the matchmaker. Nearly one-quarter of people who quit the online personals site, presumably because they’ve found someone, come back and resubscribe within the next 12 months, Sullivan said. That kind of repeat business would make any industry take notice.
Married, but looking
Just as love can be messy, and so can the love business. It turns out that personals are popular not only with the brokenhearted, but also with broken marriages, putting the sites at the center of some sticky moral questions. Research published earlier this year indicated that about one-third of online personals users are married; Clifford thinks 20 million married Americans will be interested in using online personals in the coming years.
The sites deal with the thorny issue differently. If anything can stunt growth of the personals category, Sullivan says, it’s illegitimacy, or the general feeling that online personals are only for people who need to meet others in secrecy. So Match.com won’t let people who declare themselves married register at the site. And if the company hears that a customer has lied about their marital status, they are dismissed.
“Legitimizing the category is our internal mantra,” Sullivan said. “We choose to make Match.com stand for something everyone feels is legitimate.”
Yahoo and uDate, on the other hand, leave the policing up to the users. Until recently, Yahoo had a category called “married but looking,” but has removed the feature.
“It’s just a fact of life. Look at the divorce rate,” Clifford said. “The fact that a significant number of married individuals are using online dating services gives more credence to the sustainability of the market... From a social perspective, this has some disadvantages, and from a business perspective it has advantages.”
Besides, Yahoo’s Mitnik says, not all those married people hanging out at online personals sites are looking for a fling. Many have far more wholesome motives.
“There’s huge entertainment value in searching through online personals,” she said. “We try to get them to work for us, too. So for example, we made it easy to e-mail (personal) ads to friends. These people are married matchmakers. .. And we pick up a fair number of subscriptions from that.”
The other personal sites have similar “e-mail a friend” features — meaning they’ve learned to monazite the strongest urge in the world, the urge to find love, but also the second strongest urge: the urge to meddle in your friends’ love-lives. | |
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