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 dawnfaith
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 1
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to datingPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
i have heard some men and women say if you make it through 6 months of dating your doing pretty good and most likely very compatable. what type of time frame have you all experienced from the time you started dated to the time when things just fell apart. of course i'm talking about time frame with one person of course. lets exclude marriages and only refer to dating. has it been months or years and do you have any theories of your own. this is just a curiosity question, i am not having any problems of my own, just want your thoughts.
 illumanight
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 2
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:19:45 PM
i think there`s a period of time of "getting to know" each other and seeing the other person`s "true colors" if you can make it thru that your most likely good to go. i see that "getting to know" period being about 3 to 6 months in my experience. people cannot hide their "true selves" much longer than that in my opinion.
 forum_reader
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 3
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:23:01 PM
I read once,

there are a few milestones in relationships, and generally when you do break up, it's at these milestones

at about 3 months - you decide whether you want to invest time in the person

at about 6 months - you've determined whether you are really compatible.

somewhere between 18 months to 2 years - you start thinking long term.

I don't know if that's true or not.

To your question. I do think at 6 months you have pretty much established you are compatible in most ways, or you break up. Any guy I've dated over 6 months lasted over 2 years.
 dawnfaith
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 4
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:32:30 PM
do you feel your relationships grew stronger from 6 months to 2 years? at what point did they start going sour?
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 5
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:34:58 PM
There's a 6 month rule? When was this enacted? And why am I not receiving memos?

Seriously, I don't believe in all these rules of thumb that people throw out there. We're compatable with lots of people -- they're called "friends." I dated one guy exclusively for over a year. During his last semester in college one of his family members commented to me that she expected and was soooo looking forward to our nuptials next in the near future. I totally freaked. This guy had some idiosyncrasies which got on my nerves but I didn't have to live with him so it was all good. But after that comment I found myself wondering WTH I was doing in an exclusive relationship with someone I KNEW I did not want to marry or even live with and see how it goes. I guess we were more like FWBs but there was no such term back then.

My recommendation would not to get hung up about other peoples' hangups, rules, well-meant advice, etc.
 Snobird2
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 6
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:36:09 PM
I don't think relationships end or terminate based on time. It's basically if both parties are getting what they want. Over time each person changes (or decides to speak up about what they want). If needs can still be met, it continues....
 Reddwine
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 7
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is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:39:58 PM
For me its 4 months. BUT, I dont think you truely know someone for 1yr 1/2.
(so they say).
I know this sounds weird, but I have to see my man mad before I feel comfortable with him....LOL You can tell a lot by watching how a person handles themselves in an altercation. or how they treat waiters/waitresses.
 Stonefoo
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 8
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is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:44:55 PM
"There's a 6 month rule? When was this enacted? And why am I not receiving memos?"

You havent seen the memo? I'll make sure you get one.
And....if you could come in on Saturday...oh and Sunday too....
that would be greeeaaate.
 rivereye
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 9
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:48:04 PM
i think the true validity in the OP's question lies in the fact that many people handle the beginning of a relationship differently with regards to how much time they spend together at first-is it just "dates" or is it living together for instance,IMO would have to agree with the six-months rule of thumb, generally.
 zopz
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 10
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is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:04:34 PM
6 months doesn't say much. Sometimes people just turn into a total ass after 6 months, maybe 12, you don't know.
 MrVitamix
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 11
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:13:21 PM
is this a sub-section of the 3 date rule ?

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 12
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is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:22:30 PM
Oh Hell! ANOTHER *&%$# rule!!! When will it end?
Cindy O
 dawnfaith
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 13
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:27:54 PM
i havent had enough dating experience to make any rule. one of my questions was when did things start to turn bad in your past dating experiences
 ~tag~
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 14
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:40:47 PM
Darling, I have no idea. I myself am just past the 6 month date, and....... I find myself wondering "If this is going to move forward, I need to see some action/commitment or I'm out of here". So. The whole '6 month' thing MAY just be true for me - or it's just that I know what I want, I'm getting older and I feel the time marching on, and I want to get the show on the road. So. If we hit 7, and nothing has happened (the 'M' word has been 'mentioned'...) - then I may just havta 'get gone'. Love him dearly, but I want to find someone to spend every night with - happily - under the same roof. NOT 'date' forever - like in highschool.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 15
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is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:18:58 PM
It all depends.... if you date without expectations and you see you are getting along and things just feel natural I would say six months would tell you if there were things you couldn't deal with... but with rules comes forcing.... forcing the relationship to fit, no matter how many times you've argued.... when you set your hat on someone and no matter what you have to make this rule fit this relationship because to hell and high water you've got to have that person.... I've seen it..... and it ain't pretty..... so that is one reason why I hate dating rules...

it's like watching a toddler trying to force that square peg into that round hole and beating it and throwing a fit and it still doesn't work...but try to reason with them and they say no.... and try anyway....
 EruditeRedneck
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 16
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:42:25 PM
These rules of thumb are not so applicable as are your social abilities and perceptions.
In my case i have to be careful because i WANT to believe people are good and have been taken advantage of with that. I think the best way to see a person is to see them relate to their family and watch how the family treats other family members. If they are mean to each other they'll probably be mean to you.

Sure do wish there was a "science" to summing up people sure would be a lot safer. But probably not as exciting though.
 UniqueManinSoCal
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 17
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:21:49 PM
f@ck the rules!

So who is the dumb@ss that came up with these rules anyway? They need a swift kick in the @ss!

Follow something called intuition and you might not need black and white rules to run your life. Free choice is a good thing.
 rowdysheis
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 18
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:16:17 PM
Heck, with my track record, if I'm with a guy for 6 months, I usually end up married to him (5 times!). I can only think of 2 that lasted longer than 6 months that I didn't marry. The rest were short-lived. Anywhere from one date to a couple of months.
 ~*Angel Eyes*~
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 19
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:51:47 PM
I've only had 2 relationships, and not much dating..both over 6 months. One went to 9 months then he cheated on me. And the other lasted 5 years(3 of those "married"). 6 months isn't very long if you think about it, but I think a relationship to last to that is some sort of a check-mark/ check-point
 LiziB
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 20
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 5:17:44 AM
I think the rules many times depend on an age group as to expectations and also your experience on timing. Speaking from my experience, when I was younger, 6 months would have been the rule to say-I date only this person, I see issues but where are we headed, I care for them, let's go! Particularly if your friends are in a relationship and you aren't-a younger person may feel like Friendless Frieda, putting part of the emphasis on keeping up, not being a 3rd wheel, lonely, OR not seeing him for who he really is. Wrong reason! My God, he has 2 heads.

Then there's the 7 year itch-poof gone-and it's more true than many think. You've worked out a lot of the kinks, but the ones you are left with you think you're sick of. Sometimes true, many times it's just you and you should have stuck it out-cause it's an investment and in the end exactly what makes a solid relationship or marriage-learning to do it together. Things may look greener on the other side, but either they aren't, or you'll never stand on that grass. If you do, you'll water and mow somehow. I think any old couple out there 70 years old, happy, taking care of one another have been through a couple 7 year itches and got wise to it. :)

Then there's the divorced stage-back dating. According to whether it's #1 or #2, MOST people will date, but I for one am not hung up on 6 month rule that it's serious time let's do something! from there in. However, done in the I'm still dating 3 others trying to decide if we're an item. We're all gun shy, rejected, subjected-or, just want companionship once in a while. But most know living together is sooo entirely different and it takes a year to work the kinks out-and continually working on it.

That's my view on my 3 X (2 to same man). You never really know-except there is no hurry! Learn to listen, not to ignore that little voice just because something looks or sounds so good (there just might be a worm inside). Life has and is teaching me and it is tough, but I am learning to listen.
 Mystic4ever
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 21
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:19:18 AM
I'm not sure if there's a six month rule or not, but from my experience within six months you know where it's going. My experiences have been that their lies have caught up with them by then.
 The Ace in the Hole
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 22
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:36:50 AM
I thought this thread was going a different direction when I saw the title actually. I know a few women that say that if the man isn't looking to settle down after six months they pull the plug, regardless of how happy they are together. If he isn't willing to talk about kids or marriage, for the future, then they are done. I know a girl who leaves them after 6 also if they aren't willing to move in together. She says it shows his lack of commitment and she's at a time in her life where she wants a bloody commitment. Rules.....pfft.
 dawnfaith
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 23
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:02:10 AM
i dont know what age group these women are that seem to rush commitment. after a failed 18 year marriage another 5 yrs live together, i really dont think 6 months is enough time. i am dating a man going on 6 months, we both have told each other that we love each other and we have talked casually about living together some day, but it would have to be a perfect situation with a job for me since we dont live local. we also have talked about just doing what we are doing now for a year or so, goes neither one of us are in a rush. he is 55 and i just turned 52 today
 The Ace in the Hole
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 24
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:06:23 AM
Well happy birthday Dawn! =) The girls I mentioned are all in their mid-20's. Never married. I think that is the root of the problem. They are feeling like they are getting older and that they NEED to settle down because if you don't have a husband or at least a steady bf by the age of 25 then people will OBVIOUSLY think something is wrong with you! LOL I think alot of that changes when you have been married and go through a divorce. I'm in no rush. I'd love to live with someone again in the future. But for now I like the way things are and am okay with it. The girl I'm seeing now has said in the past that she'd never live with someone until her kids were out of the house, but she also said that no one would ever meet her kids either, and we've been going on play dates for a few months now with all the kids, and I've been to her condo when the kids are home for brief visits. Bit by bit the walls will crumble. There should be no rush, especially when there's kids involved.
 crazygirl89
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 25
is the 6 month rule true when it comes to dating
Posted: 3/7/2008 9:30:13 AM
i dont take a relationship too seriously untill around 5 or 6 months.. it takes me about 9 months to a year to actually fall in love with someone.. well thats what i used to think, but now i think maybe its possible for me to love someone before that... who knows? it just depends how well i get along with someone! i do usually take a long time to fall in love, but hey, someone might make that exception!?
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