| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:09:29 AM | First of all, thank you pof !
I met someone from here last june/july and its still going great, we are very much in love only..... the distance!?
She lives 80 miles away & drives to see me almost every weekend, yes...I know 80 miles isnt that much in comparrison to 'others' long distance relationships.
Its getting to the point now where something has got to give... missing eachother seems to get more painful as time goes on, when we need to hold one another we cannot.
Both of us have children & our own local personal commitments, she has more than me & I have offered to relocate to be closer...I suppose I am having one of those internal fights with myself where the head & heart keep calling it a draw & i seem to be getting nowhere fast.
I love this woman....so thanks alll the same.  | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:15:30 AM | I feel ya "bigsunrise"......that's why I, the one who could make a big move is doing so at the end of this month..........sure it's been an "internal fight", but I wasn't going to let it win over HAPPINESS, LOVE AND BEING IN HIS ARMS EVERYDAY and NIGHT!!!!
I wish you luck!!!!
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:26:00 AM | | first of all, how wonderful that you met someone . We should all be so blessed!Relocation is not a big deal. Kids are resilient. Isnt it more important that they see their parents happy? After all it is what they will be basing their future relationships on.Their friends will still be around. Mom, Dad have cars? How long does it take to drive 80 miles? I say go for it, but make sure you have employment if you cant keep the job you have. Take it slow and listen to your heart. good luck | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:30:53 AM | I feel your pain. I met someone here too...about 14 months ago...and have been travelling every month to see him. That means a 2.5 hour plane ride each time.
I stay with him for 7-10 days and that time is great but it passes all too soon...the travel is getting tiring, and something has to give here too...its like I have 2 lives...and they both need/want me. In addition I think trust issues weigh more heavily in a long distance relationship...afterall, you are not with them and dont REALLY know if they aren't stepping out on you...
if you figure out what to do let me know! lol By the way, if one or both is not ready to move you have 2 options....continue and see what happens or end things...
Good luck! | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:43:51 AM | It's really great that you found someone and have given it enough time to develop that you are now able to consider relocating.
Please don't take my post as negative, I just wanted to comment on the possible outcomes.
First of all, I say go for it. Take the chance and move so you can be closer, if you don't you will never really know what could become of it.
I moved across the country for a relationship that I had been in, flying every 2 weeks to spend 4 or 5 days at a time...did that for 8 months. It never once occurred to me that it wouldn't work out. It was a very remote area, no where I would have ever considered living in or working in had it not been for him. In the end, I managed to stay for a year on my own and then moved back home.
So... that said... I say do it but think through all the what ifs. What if for some reason it doesnt work out as you both hope it will. Will you and your kids be happy to stay there? Can you build your own life/ career there? Is it fairly easy to just move back and perhaps return to your old job?
Just something to consider.
Again... congratulations on finding such a great connection | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:14:59 AM | Thanks for all your replies...
Msg 4...head, nail & hit springs to mind.
There was a point where we tried to part but failed when we realised we were stupid thinking we could be apart, what is, is better than nothing & thats when the talk of relocating came in, i'm sure that will be some way down the line yet though...so many things to consider.
As for the connection...for the first time in my life that first initial attraction wasnt one of lust but one of a mental, spiritual connection...without the physical...that came later.
This makes it all that more special & i'm happy throwing it back at anyone who knocks internet dating...
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:38:27 PM | Congrats on finding your love here on POF. Nice, isn't it?
I'm one of those who thinks 80 miles (120km) is a nice afternoon outing. 
I don't know how old your kids are but I'm guessing, based on your age, that they are in their early to mid teens. If the kids are a factor in your decision to move, consider that they themselves will most likely be on their own in just a few years and if you and your lady are no longer together life may just get lonely.
I hope you two can come up with a solution that doesn't include breaking up. | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:42:47 PM | "As for the connection...for the first time in my life that first initial attraction wasnt one of lust but one of a mental, spiritual connection...without the physical...that came later.
This makes it all that more special & i'm happy throwing it back at anyone who knocks internet dating..."
Bigsunrise, I have to agree with you on the above sentiments, I found that being a few oceans apart meant I could not consider the "lusting" so we were really able to establish a strong mental and spiritual connection right from the word go. Sometimes when you meet face to face you can really get confused between lust and love and only discover the lack of a mental and spiritual connection after you have sorted out the lust.
Get the mental and spiritual connection solidly established and the lusting comes naturally. | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:05:56 PM | Congratulations!
If there is real love, there is no distance to great, just the ache to get there faster!
Good chance to listen to books on tape though... | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:31:26 PM | Hello.........What you have with your love is special/rare to connect on all levels..(most are looking for that)
Dynamics could change once your living with each other......because of the daily things in life..... may I suggest the relocation is a no brainer.... (it will deepen your physical/spiritual/mental connection)
as long as once your living together your not taking the connection for granted.... then you will have it all by the sounds of it...follow your heart.
I want to quote someone who feels on many levels for another..........
As for the connection...for the first time in my life that first initial attraction wasnt one of lust but one of a mental, spiritual connection...without the physical...that came later.
This makes it all that more special & i'm happy throwing it back at anyone who knocks internet dating...
the guy who wrote that would follow his heart
smiles/peace | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:51:05 PM | | Sunrise...I moved over 350 miles to be near my boyfriend I met here and I dont regret it for one minute...Its one of the best decisions Ive made about my personal life...I am grateful for every weekend we can spend together only 15 miles apart....My life is forever changed in ways I could not even imagine one year ago....Love makes you grow in so many ways and open so many doors for you..Go with your heart and head and your gut instincts here.....If you were a 21 yr old making an impulsive decision here, Id commend your hesitation but you arent....You are a mature adult with years of life experience behind you to make a good decision on this...Best of luck to you and your lady | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:51:29 PM | | Sunrise...I moved over 350 miles to be near my boyfriend I met here and I dont regret it for one minute...Its one of the best decisions Ive made about my personal life...I am grateful for every weekend we can spend together only 15 miles apart....My life is forever changed in ways I could not even imagine one year ago....Love makes you grow in so many ways and open so many doors for you..Go with your heart and head and your gut instincts here.....If you were a 21 yr old making an impulsive decision here, Id commend your hesitation but you arent....You are a mature adult with years of life experience behind you to make a good decision on this...Best of luck to you and your lady | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:56:32 PM | I think that people should really try to find others that live closer to them! I don't know WHY people have such an aversion to dating other people right in their own backyard. With gas prices being what they are, it is foolish to think that you can manage a long-distance relationship, not to mention the fact that many people have so little time with which to invest in someone else. I for one don't want to spend half of my time just driving back and forth, as I'd rather be spending it with the other person, oh, but wait, they are too "busy" or they have this going on with the kids or that, or whatever, or our schedules conflict, you name it.... | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:24:12 PM | ktodd
I didnt have any aversion to dating someone living near me but the reality is there are very few single men living in a resort area like Cape Cod....I attended countless singles events, dances, joined dating sites , did recreational activities for singles that resulted in 2 men I dated from my area over a 5 year period.....Slim pickings forced me to widen the search area and take matters into my own hands.....So glad that I did..it worked for me and wasnt foolish at all | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:54:11 AM | Congrats!!! . . 
I'd make 'The Move' in a Minute . . for the right Lady . .
I have very few bulky things that would need moving, but I'm more than willing to
 Jump at the chance for Happiness again . . !!!
* Keeping my head up . . My best Foot Forward . . and . . My Heart on my Sleeve . . !! *
. .  .. .. . . | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:07:39 PM |
With gas prices being what they are
The LAST thing I am going to consider in trying to find someone special is whether its gonna cost me 20 bucks to go see her on the weekend....come on man.
I too am in a relationship with someone about 80 miles away. Would I prefer her be 5 miles away...well duh, of course. But everything else about her is exactly what I was looking for (yes...found her on POF, actually she found me ), so why on earth would I not see her? I am just grateful that she is close enough that it is just a 1.5 hr car ride...plus she lives in NYC so it's nice to get away from the sticks for a while....
Plus, we both have young kids that live with us part of the time...not being able to see each other every day/nite makes it easier to keep our parenting priorities in line.
We've both agreed...if we are right for each other....the distance will NOT be an issue. | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:39:57 PM | IWISH I DID NOT LIVE SO FAR AWAY FROM ALL YOU GORGEOUS LADIES I THINKYOU ARE ALL 'S | |
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megand
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Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:45:28 PM | Is this a sign of today's world, seems from what I've read, it's the females doing the traveling instead of the males!
My best friend found me on another Site 2 years ago, then after 5 days, drove 442 miles to bring me a birthday cake etc. & took me out to dinner!
He once drove non-stop from Maine to Milw. to be with me; makes the trip here every month or so, staying 2-3 weeks when he does. He's 71 years young!!!
I have been to his home once, have alot more responsibilities then he does, but will return when the weather gets better.
Food for thought, if we have all found these wonderful people/loves, why are we still on POF... perhaps a new topic to ponder??? | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 4:28:58 PM | Wow,, nottaprincess,
You fly every month for 2.5 hours and stay with this guy 7-10 days? You need to change your user name.
Instead of nottaprincess...it should be shortend to Princess. | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 4:37:37 PM | Here's what you stated in your PF.............
we each deserve to have the best and be treated as the best, so never settle for second place...never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option..
I wish you the best girl, but think about the above.
Steve | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:43:27 PM | | OP Good Luck to you and your lady. I have a question though. Why does she drive to you every weekend? Dont you drive? It might make it a little easier if you switched weekends. | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:50:19 PM | Well I must say this is an odd site.
With a headline like that I was imagining that you lived in Bangladesh and she was a sheep herder in the deserts of Argentina.
Bud' this is my favourite saying- but really gotta use it again.........
GET A BIT OF GRAVEL IN YOUR GUTS.
80 mile is like a trip to pick up your mail over here- it doesn't even registar.
it would take days just to drive across some of the cattle stations over here just to check a trough.
Get your self a swift horse and trot over on saturday mornings.
Ha ha  | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:58:05 AM | "Megand"....the answer to your question...topic been done over and over again....and I stand firm on my "opinion"!!!
This thread is one of those reasons someone who has someone would stay, the guy wanted a little support and to see if others are in the same boat??!!!
Don't ya wanna hear some of the "GOOD" that does and can come out of POF?
For our relationship it was an easier transition into a life together for my young daughter and I to make the move than for him, as if anyone needs to explain themselves anyways!!!!.........lmao
If the Love is true and meant to be...........heaven and earth will "MOVE" for you!!!!
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:01:02 AM | | If she is the "one"...MOVE!!!!! I'm sure you know how rare it is to find love at all these days..especially with all the lies and scams going on over the internet. To be happy, it is worth it. You can make new connections in her town...after all, you can always go back and forth to your town when needed..but THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND GO WITH NIKE'S SLOGAN..JUST DO IT! | |
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| A long distance hindrance?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:17:46 PM | | magend...I was actually looking to move out of the area before meeting my sweetheart here...I didnt make any huge sacrifices in moving...I dont have children or family in my previous place of residence..He is making more money than my profession could ever pay me....The funny thing is I actually looked at the DC area and seriously considered it, as it had tons of jobs there...I was barely making a living where I was before...To have love and be gainfully employed and eliminate my debts are enough reasons for me to move... | |
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