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 6irlfriend
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 1
Oral sex offered on the first date...Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
My last (and most tumultuous relationship started off with him offering me oral sex at the end of our first date. Of course I didn't oblige... until I spoke to a girl and a guy friend the next day about it. They laughed at me for turning it down and said most women would have accpeted.

The next date he did the same thing and I indulged. By the 3rd date he had made it clear that he wanted a relationship and I accepted that too. We were together for about 7 months before we had real people sex. He had a very, very small penis and an even pettier attitude about trying to please me with it-- sex didn't last longer than a minute when we did engage. I accepted that he only could please me orally. But the small penis gave him a complex and it was hard for me to see the affects of it on our relationship when I was blinded by love (I did love this fool).

In hindsight I think his assertiveness on date #1 was tell-tale sign that he would be insecure, manipulative, immature, wreckless and verbally abusive, and emotionally unstable for being so eager to offer a woman he didn't know oral sex on the first date.

What would you think about a man who on date #1 if bought you dinner, drinks, treated you like a lady, offered to make you cum? Would you:

a) indulge for the experience
b) indulge with hopes of a relationship
c) keep him at arms length
 §püngl䧧
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 2
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:09:07 PM
Kind of sounds like a horror story.. To answer your question however, all conditions being right, I'd choose A.. if I wasn't very attracted to him, I'd go with C... but no way would B enter my mind at that point...
 SpecialLady4you
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 3
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:12:16 PM
What would you think about a man who on date #1 if bought you dinner, drinks, treated you like a lady, offered to make you cum? Would you:
a) indulge for the experience
b) indulge with hopes of a relationship
c) keep him at arms length


d) Ask him if you can measure his penis first
Or e) Ask him how much "CASH" he has in his wallet
 PolkaDotGirl
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 4
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:22:03 PM
haha, now when you shared your experience I will start asking about his penis size before anything else.
 kayliecat
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 5
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:39:03 PM
OPie I think you just had a bad seed, that's all. I really do. I think that any number of guys might say "let's wait to have sex til we know each other better, but hey, maybe fool around a little?". That wouldn't mean they have a little penis, but just aren't ready to jump into the sack w/you.

Just like not all guys w/a small penis have a complex about it. Some of them are actually mature enough to deal w/it and get on with things.

I think....his penis wasn't really your problem, it was his behavior and attitude in all parts of life, right? You had a guy w/personality issues, that's all. He could have had a HUGE honkin' penis and still had all those annoying personality problems...and been just as lousy in the sack, as well.

Kaylie
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 6
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:07:21 PM

...insecure, manipulative, immature, wreckless and verbally abusive, and emotionally unstable...


It sounds like the small penis might not have been the problem but it may have been the root of it.

:)
 6irlfriend
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 7
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:10:07 PM
I think the drama we had was deeply rooted and stemmed from the penis-size really.
I couldn't listen to party music with premiscious lyrics without him accusing me of something. That insecurity was a mutha!!

The only other person who had an imagination that could start a volative fight was a guy who had a really small penis too. He was manipulative, insecure, drama-provoking, and rash acting also but I crushed that early on. This guy was 6'9" too and wore a size 16 shoe. Big feet doesn't mean chet.

The little wee wee is why we didn't have sex. The fact that he doesn't have real sex struck me after we broke out-- he HAS to go around eating coochie to get a girl.

I just wanted to know if other women would have done what I did or have taken precautions I didn't consider.
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 8
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:17:06 PM
and...

all the fellas whose pictures are on your profile would probably prefer that insecurity and small penis not be potentially associated with them...

 PolkaDotGirl
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 9
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:18:51 PM
honestly, someone offering oral on the first date in the situation you describe is a total turn off for me. I would start thinking about how many "coochies " he had eaten.
 6irlfriend
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 10
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:20:21 PM
Do you watch THE WIRE on HBO... that's where those guys are from.
They are cast members LOL
 meteor 54
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 11
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:27:48 PM
RED FLAG!!!
First date....SEXSEXSEX?????
RED FLAG.....RED FLAG......RED FLAG

Pull the RIPCORD!!!BAIL OUT!!!
 SpecialLady4you
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 12
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:32:03 PM
Hey 6irlfriend,

Who's that in the picture with you?
 butchydog
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 13
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:09:25 AM
Can't believe guys are like this? On the first date? C'mon. I won't even kiss, unless there is no mistaking that's what she wants, assuming I want to of course.

Once we are getting along, usually 4 weeks (just my experience) we're having all kinds of sex woo hoo!

call me old fashioned....
 happyrebel
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 14
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:18:27 AM
Wow....I've never been offered oral sex on a first date...but I sure wouldn't take them up on it if it was offered.....It does make you wonder how many others they've eaten on a first date.....ewww.....

I've heard of girls giving head on a first date....but not being on the receiving end.

It does sound as though he was very insecure about his 'size'....You're absolutely right- Large or small hands/feet don't meet sheet.......

HR
 plumb5150
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 15
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:21:30 AM
If she offers, yes I would! I think it is rude to say no.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 16
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:22:18 AM
assertiveness on date #1 = insecure, manipulative, immature, wreckless and verbally abusive, and emotionally unstable for being so eager to offer a woman he didn't know oral sex on the first date.

Maybe, just maybe you are reading a tad bit too much into this.

I think, if you just look at a few forums, you will find many, many women that have had men be 'assertive' on the first date. I find it hard to believe that all of them would fit your 'profile' above.

Perhaps - in this instance - the guy might have fit those characteristics. However, I don't think that 'assertiveness' is a tell-tale sign of this.
 crazeegyrl
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 17
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:55:28 AM
Hmmm

Oral on the first date........did he have a date before you, and did you kiss him......



that is funny..........and i sure wouldnt measure a relationship, over penis size........there is sooooo much more to love then that !
 offglass29
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 18
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:00:08 AM
If she offers, yes I would! I think it is rude to say no.

 kissmeinrome
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 19
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:08:22 AM
I'm pretty sure I'd pick C. Who in the hell asks the person they're with to do something sexual on a first date? That's almost like calling a female a wh9re subliminally.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a prude. I prefer that anything sexual take place after the 3rd or 4th date - that way you get a feel for the person first if you feel you need to fill your desires.

(again, just me, i could be wrong)
 Mary Poppinz
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 20
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:52:46 AM
If I ever was intimate with someone on the first date,they would never
get a second date out of me.

Sure it's ok to have fun with a random stranger,but I don't respect
a man who is a little to willing to give out his goods.

And visa versa,why should a man respect me,when I am willing to do the same??

If you are really interested in the dude,don't give him more than a kiss for the
first few dates.

And if it's sex that you are looking for,then go for it.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 21
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:29:16 AM
Generally... I avoid sex on a first date.
When it's offered... I have to ask... why?
Why does she want to do such things with a guy she hardly knows?
If she's so comfortable with doing it... how many other guys is she doing it with?

I've only done such things on a first date twice in my life.
Both times... well, the spark was there right from the start. We connected on every level, and it just felt completely right.
And in both cases, we had loving relationships form.

And I probably would have been with them still... except both have passed on from cancer.

I don't think that sex on a first date is "wrong". I don't think that it should never happen.
But I think that what should be questioned is WHY it's happening.
Is it something that the person does with everyone?
Do they care about the people they're with, or only the sex?
How many others are they doing the same thing with? Might they have a date the next day with someone else?

It's up to each person to decide the right course of action for them. But everyone should at least think before leaping into such a situation.
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 22
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/15/2008 11:52:54 AM
I've never said no to sex on the first "date" with a beautiful "must do." I can hear it now......"No thanks sweety, I prefer to go home and jerk off"
 happyrebel
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 23
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Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:40:42 AM
swingpup.....but would you offer just oral to her without expecting something in return?
 HappyGirl5668
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 24
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:44:46 AM
a) No
b) No
c) Run - The condom in his wallet is useless if he's giving you oral.
 Chris831
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 25
Oral sex offered on the first date...
Posted: 3/17/2008 6:01:39 PM
IMO, depends on how the "offer" was presented...also depends on how much u both talked about past histories, i.e. sexual histories. i'd be wary of any dude who was waving his tongue around (figuratively) like a flag on a first date. besides, i believe women are perceptive enough to know when a man is bull$hitting them in general, and can make their own choices (sexual & other) based on how they judge his character.

that said, my ex-GF & I spoke about this very subject the first time we went "out" (was just a lunchdate)...not that she was hanging the "Help Wanted" sign out on the first date, but it definitely intrigued me that much more.

so what's the concensus on women who bring up the subject on the first date?
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