| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:53:13 PM | hi
i will be rejoining the dating pool in a while in hopes to find someone with some serious goals in mind, but one thing that stands out after i read all the profiles is that women that say they look for serious long term relationships, are focused on doing so in places that i consider only when looking for a nightcap or a weekend at best. mainly nightclubs and bars and dance floors of various sorts.
i dont enjoy either one anymore, just kinda grew out of them and this seems to be a big disadvantage to me now. how can i look for someone without having to force myself through the drudgery of those places ? | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:30:36 PM | First off... just be yourself. If you're not into the club scene... then that's not a problem. You'll find someone who will respect you for who you are, and enjoy things as you do.
Second... many of those looking for a "serious relationship"... seem to do it in places where the last thing on peoples' minds is something serious.
That's their problem.
I'm not saying you CAN'T meet someone special at a bar or such... but it's not exactly the best place to be looking. Those places are generally more about quantity over quality. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:48:26 AM | I totally disagree with you. The women I know that are looking for a LTR stay far, far away from bars and such. If you aren't into this type of lifestyle, make it clear to the lady when you first meet her, and maybe tell her what you are interested in doing on dates.
There are a ton of ladies on this site, so maybe you just keep checking out the wrong profiles...keep trying...
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:55:01 AM | It's not a dealbreaker for me if a man does not like going to bars and clubs.
Bars and clubs are just for ppl looking to get laid,and this is why I never go
to bars anymore.
People are fools if they think they will meet the love of their life in a bar.lol
Anyways,just be yourself.
And I assure you,you are not at a disadvantage. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:57:16 AM |
People are fools if they think they will meet the love of their life in a bar.lol
Yes and no.
I don't think the bar scene is a good place to go looking for the love of your life. Because as said, the people who go there usually are looking for a fling, not something serious.
But that doesn't mean it's not possible.
Because you never know where you might encounter that special someone. It could be a bar, or a park, or a supermarket... it happens when it happens. ;) | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:44:10 AM | Most outgrow the bar scene.
My youngest son who is only 24 yrs old, was recently home for a visit.
I asked him if he dropped into the local watering hole, he said, he didn't. He told me the last few times he was home and he dropped in there, the crowd was so much younger than him and the ones that were his age or older, were stagnate in their small town world going nowhere in life, he was disappointed.
It maybe a little more active in the city but in a one tavern village that is what my son told me. 
You will likely have better luck finding a mate in the work place, school , gym or even a grocery store.
Keep the faith and you will eventually find a girl just meant for you.  | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:47:26 AM | I've recently made a return to the local bar.
But not in the hopes of finding someone. I do so because some of the regulars there are truly wonderful people, who I am honored to call my friends.
And it's just great to hang out with them and have a fun night. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:58:03 AM |
i dont enjoy either one anymore, just kinda grew out of them and this seems to be a big disadvantage to me now. how can i look for someone without having to force myself through the drudgery of those places ?
Um ... you could look online? On PoF, for instance?
Other than that: It's not that the only place to meet someone is a bar. I mean, come ON, I haven't been to a bar or nightclub in about 10 years, and I have managed to make acquaintances. Join clubs/groups that interest you, for instance - a book club, a sports group, a hiking group, a whatever group where you can/will meet people that share your interest. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 11:36:15 AM | I like going to the bar/club/pub whatever. I don't go to meet people though, I go to have a few drinks, dance, listen to music and spend time with my friends.
I don't have a problem with a guy who's not into this, but one thing I will say, relationships do require some sacrifice. We're all going to have to do things we don't like sometimes. My ex hated going to the bar, but that's what I always do for my birthdays. I hated his boring political dinners. So we agreed, if I'd go to his dinners, he'd go to the bar. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:20:12 PM | I don't think anyone should give you grief for not being into places like that if you don't enjoy them...I'm sure women who do go have friends who'll go with them - I doubt they'll try to drag you there or anything.
If you meet someone who is into bars or clubs, that's their recreation - it shouldn't be a dealbreaker for them that you don't, nor should it be a dealbreaker for you that they do.
Couples don't have to do every single thing together...some differences keep relationships interesting.
As far as meeting people in them to date, it would obviously be a conflict of interest even if you did - naturally you should look for potential dates in places you DO enjoy going, to create some common interest. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:25:07 PM | don't change dude...stick to whats comfy for ya....
many who really really want a LTR you won't find at those places....those places are best for anyone who loves to dance and be around music...or ones who are just out for fun and possibly looking for a good time... | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:33:22 PM |
Couples don't have to do every single thing together...some differences keep relationships interesting.
A couple is never going to share ALL the same interests. There's always some differences there.
And those differences can help to make a relationship all the better.
It gives each person a chance to have their private time (because we all need it at some point)... as well as giving the couple something to learn from each other... and grow as people. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:44:00 PM | | I don't think going to bars/clubs or not going to bars/clubs should be a dealbreaker. If I met a woman that didn't like going to bars, I would do other things with her and go to bars in my own time. However I have noticed that some people who don't go to bars/clubs will be judgmental of people who go to bars/clubs or vice versa. If a woman rejected me because I sometimes go to bars, then I wouldn't want to be her with anyways. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:55:30 PM | | most girls i have met..one of the things they like doing..is dancing...for most would be a turn off if a guy doesnt like to dance. think about it this way...say you formed a relationship with a girl who liked dancing and u didnt..im sure she would still go out anyway from time to time...its either her dancing with you..or some other guy because your not there...take your pick...on the other hand im sure there are some women out there who dont go out much. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:57:57 PM | Many woman on here in my area look for someone who is willing to go to a club drink and dance not because they are looking for someone at a bar or club but because they want to be with someone who knows how to have their kind of fun(dancing, drinking, big social crowd etc.). Now many relationships that i have heard/seen that involve a having fun at clubs and bars usually end up in temptation, drunken making out with another person while your lover is there, or allowing certain people to touch in in certain spots that only your lover is suppose to. Not everyone can do the whole bar/club thing while already in a relationship.
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 4:27:09 PM | msg. 9 >> I like going to the bar/club/pub whatever. I don't go to meet people though, I go to have a few drinks, dance, listen to music and spend time with my friends.
Thank you!! I have a passion for live rock music - I go to bars/clubs/pubs whenever I hear of a good rock band playing. I see nothing wrong with having a few drinks, listening to a good band, dancing and spending time with my friends. I don't go there to meet guys - I usually go with my girlfriends to have fun dancing.
msg. 13 >> However I have noticed that some people who don't go to bars/clubs will be judgmental of people who go to bars/clubs or vice versa. If a woman rejected me because I sometimes go to bars, then I wouldn't want to be her with anyways.
If someone is going to judge me negatively because I happen to love live rock music, dancing and go to bars I would have to say they are small minded and not someone I'd enjoy spending my time with anyway. I don't judge those who don't like bars and loud music - every one has a right to what they do and don't enjoy. Not everyone goes to bars for the sole reason of getting hooked up. I'm not particularly fond of bowling, but I'm not going to judge those who are... sounds silly, doesn't it? Basically it's the same bias.
I would venture to say, though, if someone has a complete aversion to bars/pubs/clubs it would be a deal breaker for me because live music and dancing are my passions and I'm not likely to be "out growing" those any time soon.  | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:36:26 PM | | So ummm...if you grew out of bars, clubs, and dancing places, what did you grow into? If it were me, I'd go to the places I enjoy, and do the things I like. Unless it's the meeting of Gay Pride, there will probably be single ladies there who, like you, don't enjoy bars, etc. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:28:24 PM | | calihispanictx you nailed it exactly. it seems most are focused on this point and doing so exactly at bars and clubs for exhibitionist side of them i guess or just because they like having lotsa man drool over them. this is exactly what i am talking about. it seems i am meeting women that like ONLY that sort of dancing and are focused on it. even the oens here on POF that say they are looking for long term, settled, calm, yadda yadda yadda, really arent. they end up still doing clubs and bars. and this i just cant stand from so many different angles. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:34:16 PM | | Pazoozoo what i grew into is just chiling at home and being content with who i am. i am not a fully fledged couch potato, still go to gym, shows and bunch of other stuff. when at home i actually even read again now, something i havent really done since college and even then it was just to study whereas now its purely for myself. the downside of this i dont meet many people, hence internet. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:17:44 PM | To find people with similar interests as yourself, you should go where you like to be and just do your thing, if you see someone that sparks your interest, maybe start a conversation with them, maybe they will start the convo with you, you'll never know if you never go.
If you find your hobbies or places that you enjoy being leave little to no chance of meeting new people, try branching out to similar interests or even try something youve been wanting to give a shot at, usualy, you will get a few people who are so into what they enjoy that the second someone steps into thier area of the hobby they will come and say hello, see what you are interested in and try to help you get as much oppertunity to enjoy what they enjoy too, networking!
All good things come in time... and with effort. | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:32:39 PM | better than staying home watching re-runs on the tube, and your not going to meet anyone new sitting on your couch. even if you not the meet market type or dancer, its nice to get out and listen to some of the musical talent.
there are some great "up and coming bands" out there that put on quite a show: mimic a van halen guitar riff, pink floyd or zepplin drum solo that puts shivers down your spine. such a deal when you can find a place where you can kick back and hear some live music for the price of a couple of drinks -maybe some day you can look at a cd and say -"yep i remember them when they were still playing in small clubs" | |
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| i'm not into night clubs, bars and dancing places - dealbreaker ?
Posted: 3/17/2008 10:13:14 AM | that's fine. I'm not really into the bar/club scene myself. There are other options you can meet people. Through volunteer work, church ONLY if you are spiritual, signing up for night classes/special interests, getting/developing a new hobby like photography, gym/co-ed sports, speed dating
try social networking sites like www.meetup.com or www.meetin.org
Even if you don't plan on meeting the love of your life, make friends with people instead!! | |
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