| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:28:11 AM | | I started out just wanting to chat and make friends, I found interesting people with stories and lives just like mine. I thought I needed someone to tell me they loved me and show interest in me , and I found plenty of that. What I had forgotten was the 15 years with my husband and that I had 2 loving children that I was willing to cheat on. Instead of taking the time and talking to my husband I found love no, not love , sex with another man. He said everything I wanted to hear but in the end it was all about sex. Neither of us planned to leave our families and my husband found out and now I live with it day after day....Plentyofish was here for me but it will never replace taking the time to sit down and chat with your spouse... | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:27:36 AM | | sorry babes...you've done it to yourself....Besdies the fact you came back(even if it were to post) is a sure sign although feeling guilty you're still on the prowl... | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:45:04 AM | what plenty of fish has done to me:
it has removed most doubt in things that people have been telling me about "the opposite sex"
and why dudes are always getting chicks and i get to be single instead.
i would love to use more suitable language to express myself but then u would see mostly a lot of **** on the screen because guys always tell me they are going to **** a chick and i always say yeah right shes way too good for you, then they do it.
and being on POF shows me that even when i get to talk to girls, the ones that should talk to me leave me or ignore me. or try to hurt me and call me nasty names and stuff.
so it makes me think that everything the guys have been saying all along is true  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:06:34 PM |
what plenty of fish has done to me:
hang on, I gotta go call a whaa-bmulance for Shreks appeal( cute screen name,btw)
What PoF has done for me? Assisted me in developing the appropriate bad attitude. I am and always have been one cussed b*tch,but when I started getting a look at the amount of DAMAGE out there, being single is beginning to seem downright pleasant.
I've made some good friends here, and I stand in awe of some of the wisdom I've seen in the fora.
OP, don't blame PoF for your lapse in good judgement.
Cindy O | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:16:02 PM | You have the morals of a ground slug and you're blaming a website for that? Not!
You, and only you, spread your legs for a cheap thrill betraying your husband and your children and you blame a website for that? Not!
I hope your husband divorces you, takes the children and leaves you pennyless, broke and on the street so that you can reap what you sew. Sadly it seems that your husband is holding on to your lousy ass as you say you are left to live with it day after day.
You are an excellent role model for your children. Not! I only hope they learn some morals from their school or elsewhere because if left to learn from you they too will only become worthless wastes of oxygen like their mother.
And yes, I hate cheaters. My perrogative to do so. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:21:04 PM | | Wow that's too bad OP you didn't make the effort to communicate with your husband. Instead you look for random love off the internet. Take some responsibility for you actions and quit your BMCing. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:53:14 PM | "He said what I wanted to hear."
And why were you listening? During my 33 yrs, 122 days (yes I can give you the hours if you want) before my wife died I had opportunities to get a thrill outside my marriage. Hell with me, I didn't want to do that to HER. Because I loved her. If you didn't love your husband and children that much why were you with them? | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 1:01:26 PM | If YOU play,,,,,YOU will pay.
I'm with a couple on this one here. There are players around because of people like the OP. If the players had no one to play with,,,,well, they would be sitting in a corner together in a big circle jerk. I don't understand why the blame now is on this site, cause if this site wasn't here, I'm sure the OP would have found another to use and THEN blame. Typical chickshiat,,,typical. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 1:17:15 PM | When someone agrees(chooses to committ to marriage)
when someone chooses to have children....
Your decision process is no longer just about you...
what saddens me here... is when people do this its like they never think of their kids....
if your husband chooses to leave you...
know this.. your kids will know they lost/mum/dad/family security because their mum was unfaithful...( one day)
that really hurts when 1 parent shows such lack of respect to the other parent
the kids will be forever affected by it...
your lucky at this stage your kids dont know in fact..(they know from mum/dad ..tension etc they are feeling it...
they will either grow up (once they find out).. either not trusting woman..... or becoming the same role model
or completely become the opposite...ie will either not marry....
or will be faithful to their partner
it guts you to find out your mum//or dad (is a *****) and would hurt the family.. swap their family for sex/selfishness etc..
im not trying to judge here.. but am saying why dont people when they are unhappy..... stop thinking about themselves.. but think /love their kids as first?
parents are a role model.. what you do affects your children long term.
when you choose to have kids they come first their happiness welfare etc....
if someone is that miserable and cant fix their marriage..its much better for kids to find out later.. that mum/dad just couldnt be happy together.... than to find out one of their genetic influences is a liar/coward/cheat/disrespectful..no integrity..
and as your finding... your on your own.. your decision isolated you from family.... as in the guy you had sex with...... wheres he?
people who are happy to help destroy a childs family... well. talk about the ultimate theif.. robbing kids of a family... he helped... keep his name.. cause your kids.. might want to know who helped destroy their family....... thats if you were honest enough to tell the person you were married?...omg i just re read your post again....
you willingly... slept with a married man?.. so cheated other kids as well?
if he has kids.... so if his wife finds out.. you could break up those kids family as well?
smiles/peace | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 1:29:23 PM | Why were you here then if you were married with a family??
Hope he was good OP and worth losing everything you built with your loving husband. The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.
Don't ever lose sight of what you have or take it for granted. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:05:22 PM | Soulmate08,
I agree with everything you said, except, where children are first. I think the marriage should be first and then the children. Reason, if the marriage was first, then the children would follow. Maybe meant that all along, just clarifying.
I was cheated on, so I do understand. I do not have bitterness towards my ex, except the occasional frustration due to it. As I have to drive 500 miles a month just to see my daughter and have her. I see already what it has done to my daughter. So to soften the blow, me and ex, don't attack each other ,but work together for our child. I agree she was selfish at the time all this took place, but what can be done now about it. Nothing, just minimize the damage. Yes, it does affect the children. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:10:01 PM | Oh sure everybody throw rocks! Kick em while they're down! That is what life is all about isn't it? NOT!!!
op you really did it! But so have most of us. Or at least half as I guess most of us are divorced. You have some real soul searching to do. Find a nuetral party who will KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT and see if you can maybe fix what you have broken. Be very careful, misery loves company is an old truism for good reason. Feel out you ex, I forgave my wife twice, maybe he will listen.
The last words I tell my boys are "be good" when we part. So you have been bad, now you need to be good. Blaming pof is NOT the right way to go. I've been on the wrong road myself and yes people can turn around. But first you have to want to for YOU. If you don't respect yourself enough then find some help (not some horndog). The cold hard truth is you broke and only you can fix it.
 just keep on keepin on. OR  just keep on keepin on.
YOUR CHOICE good luck | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:16:16 PM | | If a man did what You did, he would be Bombarded with people wishing that he dies. but because you're a woman, it's ok. "no harm done". | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:18:55 PM | avg...... yes i agree marriage is the foundation of the family
in context re kids first ... i mean if someone is unhappy .. instead of making a decision from their point of view the children they choose to have..their happiness should come first in decision making.. (in other words ok you want to do some selfish? think of kids before yourself.. how will my behaviour affect my kids?)
I just think if more people think re kids .. in decision process theyre would be alot more hope for families/relationships..
and if that helps someone not make the same decision as what op seems to feel regretful/mistake over....
op seems remorseful and has learn it seems what... she had . has been put at risk..
for her to admit this and bring light to a situation that could destroy others lives.. is good.
hindsight/consequences in this situation... op it seems is learning.. i think
its much better to know/think before the deed is done...
and btw.. I wish nothing but hope/love for op marriage and family.. for their future..
and i hope they can repair the damage....
and if I read this right... this married guy is on pof....
^^^^^^above post... ILOVE YOU..... no not all people would wish that on either.... the male or the female..... lots of men have been extremly hurt by their so..cheating on them... and so have woman..people are individuals not everyone ..... thinks the same.. so yes some will throw stones/judge etc.. and some will just want other people to learn to respect families/marriage..
smiles/peace | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:41:58 PM | Is my reading comprehension meter broke? I dont think the original poster is blaming POF for her situation by anymeans. I think shes fessing up, and also serving fair warning to others in the same situation that you could get snake bitten very easily if your not careful.
One thing leads to another..... | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 3:24:59 PM | Isn't it amazing how many folks blame for relationship failures? Get real, folks. You pay, you play. You play, you pay. And...you play, you can lose.
Taking responsibility for ones own actions is very difficult. Critical, but very difficult. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 3:30:19 PM | | HMMM...I heard that type of excuse before. From MY WIFE. She blamed for HER CHEATING. But only with the one guy that I knew of at that time. Do you really expect any reasonable person reading your post, to believe its POF's that you went looking for a bit of cyber fun, and then YOU decided to go further. I THINK NOT! YOU made your choice, now sleep with that, and while you do, YOU think hard about the impact that its brought to the people around you. I am willing to bet you said and DID things with the 'other guy' that you NEVER considered doing with your husband. More fun to do it with a cyber bud/bed buddy? I'll keep my real opinion to myself, and avoid having my post deleted. But I'm sure you can think of a few thoughts I have on your subject. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 3:48:02 PM | Regardless of gender... it is a big deal. It's a horribly sad story. Not because I feel sorry for her, I feel sorry for her husband and kids.... what she's done.
You shouldn't blame pof girl, if your going to cheat YOUR going to cheat. pof didn't hold a gun to your family and say 'sleep with this man or I'll kill them'. YOU did this. You have no one to blame but yourself. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:01:40 PM | | You chose to cheat. I seriously doubt that the administrators came to your house and forced to to sleep with one of the fishes. Suck it up, take credit, responsibility or whatever for your poor choices. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:46:48 PM | Lol I do love the moralizing and self-righteousness of the posters on here.
Nice to see so many posters so saintly living their whiter-than white lives. Compassion involves being non-judgemental, I doubt many here could claim to be compassionate on those grounds.
OP, Well you made your mistake and now you are living with it. I think your point at the end was very valid...and overlooked in the scrum of people desperate to moralize.
Plentyofish was here for me but it will never replace taking the time to sit down and chat with your spouse...
That is so true. So many married people on here find the attention and relief of boredom, and fall into the same trap you did. And nothing replaces the need to keep the lines of communication open and work out your differences.
Unlike others, I hope you do manage to salvage something of your marriage,it sounds like you have learnt the hard way. Or if it can't be salvaged, then you work on healing some of the hurt for your kids sake. Much easier to have a civil partnership when raising kids. If you are not getting counselling for your marriage then go and get some... even if it doesn't result in you staying together it will help resolve some of the wounds.
Good luck. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:47:02 PM | Should of kept them panties on "Dear One"...Your a mess!..Too bad...
He said , "Everything I wanted to hear"....God, what a dumba##...You have nobody to blame but yourself...Hey, welcome back to POF........Wow... | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:58:29 PM | hahaha!!!
How funny you need to take responsibility for your own mistakes, not blame it on a dating site!!! | |
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