JWRed
|
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 1 | |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:51:01 PM | | I am a firm believer that a woman should. When a man asks a girl out, that signals some type of intimate interest. Not to mention, 99% of the time the man is open to having sex faster than a woman. I know that has been the case with me every time I have asked a girl out. | |
|
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:08:59 PM | You are FULL of assumptions and "shoulds." I don't assume a man is automatically interested in sex when he wants to spend time with me.
Where do you get your 99% ?? Leave the data "facts" out unless you are seriously researching. And you need to figure into your "data" variables like ... some girl/childs want to get pregnant for their own reasons, so sex may be their only agenda.
Your essential question? There is no SHOULD. Attraction involves an "awareness" of each other, not a personal goal/agenda -- one or the other of you will signal and the other will read the signals correctly -- or not.
On a more personal note, I'm not very aggressive -- I prefer to attract and respond -- has something to do with the era I was raised in. I need to improve assertive skills -- missing out on all those shy guys who are worth their weight in gold. | |
|
| |
JWRed
|
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 5 | |
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:30:32 PM |
I need to improve assertive skills -- missing out on all those shy guys who are worth their weight in gold.
I don't weigh much... must be why I have rarely been picked up  | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:39:26 PM |
I don't assume a man is automatically interested in sex when he wants to spend time with me.
Guys. Let's get this woman up to speed.
She’s already goin’ my speed and I like it. A few women I’ve dated here have remained friends. And the plural of anecdote is data, right?
As for the kissing issue, we're taking that up at the next meeting. Men - to the treehouse! | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:43:41 PM | I was glad to read this thread. What we need here in POFVille is more RULES to argue about.
This dating thing was getting to easy. We need more rule to make it challenging again. | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:06:11 PM | Dude you are 22, save your condescending crap for people that are impressed. Duh, adults want to have sex, is that the only thing they are interested in, probably not.
It depends on the situation. I have dated guys a foot taller than I and the logistics of that kiss depend on what we are doing and whether I need to stand on a box to accomplish it.
VVVVVGood point, first date or in general? | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:20:42 PM | OP~ are you talking in a first date context?
If so, you could be waiting till you need diapers for a women to initiate kissing. Not all, but the majority. Just my opinion.
If you are all ready dating someone, yes~ I'm all for women initiating kissing. Most men dig it.  | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:26:56 PM | | Most of the time, women send out the "I'm ready to be kissed" vibe and guys either don't see it or misinterpret it. So yeah, women already pretty much do make the first move (sans the reaching over the table grabbing dude by the collar and going "DO IT ALREADY") | |
|
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:36:21 PM | | I do belive that the lady sould be the one to make the move. As for the man wanting to be to date for the purpose of being intimate, there are a few of us who actually enjoy the company of a lady for a dinner or a movie or just an outing because we can only take so much football, fishing, and NASCAR with the guys. | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:44:48 PM |
I am a firm believer that a woman should.
you done messed up your resume. So after she initiates it, then what ? Will she have to initiate all sex acts in the bed ? I see a lifetime of missionary position in your future.
When a man asks a girl out, that signals some type of intimate interest.
this effectively contradicts your first sentence. If you are both attracted, why wait for her. As long as you dont show up with a butcher knife wearing a rubber suit and demand sex then I think you will be ok. | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:15:11 PM | Dude you are 22, save your condescending crap for people that are impressed. Duh, adults want to have sex, is that the only thing they are interested in, probably not.
It depends on the situation. I have dated guys a foot taller than I and the logistics of that kiss depend on what we are doing and whether I need to stand on a box to accomplish it.
VVVVVGood point, first date or in general?
"Condescending crap? " Wait a minute, is that how a good "middle of the road Christian" talks? Are you for real? btw, you're much older than 22, but only chronologically. I'd have to say that judging by the way you relate to people on these forums, you're level of emotional maturity is less than that of a twelve year old. Man, if you're a "middle of the road Christian", I'm Mahatma Gandhi.... | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:37:03 PM | When it comes to initiating that" first awesome sexually driven kiss" its something that happens between two people when at that very moment is the right time.....
There is no law on who initiates sex first "the kiss" dictates that in your loins and then the choice is made.... | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:44:39 PM | "dharmapuppet", beckylee said "I don't assume a man is automatically interested in sex when he wants to spend time with me" to which the OP sneeringly replied, "Guys. Let's get this woman up to speed." YES, that's "condescending crap", packagedeal called it quite accurately and I agree. There are many women I count as good friends and want to spend time with WITHOUT being automatically interested in sex, so the OP ASSuming that all men are "automatically interested in sex" whenever they desire to spend time with any woman is most definitely condescending crap - he should speak for himself and stop trying to speak for "all men" because he's doing a damn poor job of it.
packagedeal relates quite well in the forums, and commented (accurately) on the POST, not the POSTER with the term "condescending crap", unlike YOU, who descended instantly into grade-school insults. | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:46:36 PM | I think the first kiss should come naturally to the point that you arent all that sure who initated it. I do like an assertive man though and wouldnt hold it against him if he made the first move  | |
|
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:05:10 AM | Simultanious/Spontanious Kissing would be the Ideal . .
But I prefer to let the Lady initiate it .. for something that I've done to Inspire her to do it!
Whether it's the roses that  Mysteriously arrive at the dinner table,
or singing/dancing to her favorite song .. or just showing her the admiration and
respect that she deserves .. !!
. .   . . | |
|
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:39:33 AM | if your following her subliminal signals, you know when (or if) she wants a kiss
my favorite is (towards the end of the first date) she puts a stick of gum/mints in her mouth then offers you a some...
however if she is making it unbelievably clear she wants you to land a smooch on her, you could flip a coin or spin a bottle to see who goes first   | |
|
| |
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/20/2008 4:48:34 AM | ^^^yeah, they have names for everything now and even more rules. Why people insist on making the simple so confusing is beyond me. Men say they are confused by women? Well, these rules and "not calling it a date - it's a meet" and all that other crap just make things more confusing. I am a realist and quite logical - perhaps that's why I don't get many dates since some men think women are not logical?! lol. Seriously though, no man has EVER, when I called our getting together "a date" told me I was wrong.
Who the fack cares what it's called - just go and have a good time!!
On topic = The best is when both are slowly working towards it......there is no "should". | |
|
| Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 3/20/2008 6:06:12 AM | I know you're asking who should lean in first, but that's hardly the point.
"Who should initiate..." Well, the "initiation" should have started hours before ;-).
Too many folks think kissing, and I mean the real passionate kissing, not the peck "good night", or the soft lipped "more than mildly interested" kiss (which is itself quite nice ;-) ), is something you do while you are undoing the snaps, buttons, and zippers. And, sadly, for the majority of folks reading this, at our age, it often is. We know sex is the big prize, and society has tried to program us to think that finishing the race and "winning" is all that matters. So, kiss kiss, what's for breakfast? Sad.
I think by the time that first deep passionate kiss happens, you both should be driven pretty much half insane looking forward to it ;-). You should look at her, and have your hand ache to touch her hair, to feel her cheek, to brush her ear... You should look at her glistening lips, and be willing to trade the next six inch-thick sirloins on the bbq for just a taste of that lip gloss, to feel the flickering heat of her tongue meeting yours. To see those beautiful eyes, and be dying for a chance to make those eyelids flutter just a little bit ;-).
First kisses are special. Be very careful with rushing them. We're old now ;-). There's not many things that can make us feel like kids anymore, but that "first kiss" is one of them. But luckily for some of us, we've had decades of practice by now, and we're a lot better at it than we were at 16 ;-).
Savor it.
Cowboy | |
|
Home
login 
