| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 3:28:17 PM | Something happened to me recently that prompted me to ask these questions....
Im just curious...
MEN...How do you feel about being with a lady with scars?
Physical scars, not mental...
Now I dont mean the usual baby stretch marks or a wee scar from a cut.
Im talking about scars from a surgery, a burn, an accident, etc.
A scar that is noticable when the clothes come off.
Would they turn you off? How would you handle them? Would you accept the woman and not make comments about them? Could you bring yourself to love her no matter what she has on the outside? Can you really say that it doesnt matter and she is still beautiful? Would you be able to hold her, kiss them and not feel repulsed by them?
Can you honestly say that it would'nt bother you?
LADIES...Would you be open and tell a man that you have just met or are gonna meet right away that you have scars and tell him where they are? Would you feel comfortable showing them?
Sam | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 3:35:18 PM | sure!
i've had two laparascopies and the first one went keloid, so i've got a large scar below my naval, plus the other 3 incisions have healed to varying degrees. the incision over the left ovary was indented for years afterward, but seems to be getting back to normal now.
i'm also a bit of a klutz and always acquiring something new - like the right thumb that i sliced in 2004 while washing dishes and the scars in my lips and running out of my lower lip that i got in a fall earlier this year...
ooops! | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 3:38:54 PM | No different than a woman with stretch marks. Not a problem.
Granted, it might a bit more of a challenge were the scars covering a major portion of her body or face, but that notwithstanding, I don't think it'd be much of an issue. | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 3:52:35 PM | | I think it would depend on how badly they affected me and my self confidence. If they were a big deal to me, I think I would say something before we got intimate. However,if I am ok with them, I probably wouldn't even think to mention it. Hopefully any man that I chose to be intimate with, would be a big enough person that it wouldn't be an issue. | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 4:10:04 PM | Good point.
I have one friend; she's cute as a button but her ex-husband did a number on her self-esteem. She says she has some large scars on her back (never seen) and won't even tolerate a light, friendly rub on the lower back. Between that and her stretch marks, she's painfully lacking self-confidence.
I would imagine that for her to be intimate with a man (something she has bemoaned a lack thereof), she'd have some major baggage to overcome. | |
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~KC~
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 4:32:18 PM | Scars.. I have so many smalls ones from stepping on nails, abuse, laparoscopies etc... - there are too many to count. I am a bit self-consious about the stretchies.. but I am a woman.. and I find that most men don't really care about that.
I have a friend who had to have an emergency open heart surgery that has left a huge scar on her chest.. she is very weary of being intimate with a man now because she deems it to be ugly. But on the other hand, I have a friend with many burn scars on her arms she got as a child and she proudly walks around with no fear of comments or reprecussions of others insecurities.
It depends on how you view yourself and what these scars represent to you. No matter what.. you are beautiful and should try to see yourself that way. And if it's a genuine interest in the other person.. and love is a possibility.. I think I would be able to look past it. Never been there but I believe I could. | |
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ticky
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Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 6:30:04 PM | | i have scars caused from a skins condition..i could easily get is fixed but..scars dont matter to me..i want to be with people that care about my person..would rather be with people with scars then bad personalitys | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 6:38:38 PM | Sam:: Not to make light of any situation that causes anyone some anguish, but I think the answer is simply mind over matter. If you don't mind, it really doesn't matter. When you can accept yourself as a total package, and that's what you are, then people are going to accept you for who you are!! I would venture to guess that the vast majority of us has scars of one kind or another. We are not the scars,,, and the scars are certainly not who we are!!!!
Time to accept that you are just an attractive human being and that's all,,, nothing more, nothing less!!! | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 6:44:39 PM | Ok L2HU2
Say you have been struggling for a long time and trying to deal with your 'scars'
You get to a point where you are comfortable with yourself, your ok with the way you look and along comes a mate. Now you get comfortable enough to 'show' your scars and he/she says it's ok with them. Then one day that mate says something hurtful about them to you. Now they dont mean it to be hurtful but it makes you have thoughts of 'are they really ok with it?'
Now what?
How do you deal with that?
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ticky
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Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 15 | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 7:46:41 PM | Devine bovine: Ah yes we are similar although im still trying to figure out why you pick the name that tanslates to nice cow.
I have had to lapos as well although my scars are barely noticeable. I tried to take my right thumb off last year on a jogger wheel. Plus there is onother one on the right hand due to a nail that the blacksmith had left unclenched.
It all depends on the scar. Mine are not muchthe thumb being the worst. | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 8:20:30 PM | scars dont mean anything its whats in the heart
I have seen some pretty big scars on woman and I must admit I was not turned off at all by it
as I get older I see more and more woman with big scars like the ones youre talking about
so I just figure its something that happens and the scars are there to keep them alive
so no they dont bother me at all | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 9:34:43 PM | Well Sammy I will tell you what I think about ladies who may have scars .
Okay now I should tell any lady on here that if I fall in love with you I don't see scars or even if you have some kind of disability as a reason not to love you.
I see a lady for who she is !! Yep I guess I tend not see scars or a disablilty as anything more then a part of life . So if she feels these are something shes little shy to talk about or to have her man see I can understand how she would feel .But to me I just see a lovley lady I am in love with and nothing else.And nope her scars or disability wouldn't bother me in the least. And yes I would tell her that straight from my heart to hers.
Yep everyone has some kind of scars either metal or physical ones. But in order to truely love some one you love them for who they are and nothing less.
And yeah thats telling it like it is if a lady is firmbear8's lady !!
Hugsssssssssss ladies
Firmbear8 | |
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Enig
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Joined: 12/18/2004
Msg: 20 | |
| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 10:17:45 PM | Awww Sam well I'm glad they didn't do it to be hurtful, and sure sometimes things happen in life that is not going to make us look our best. Sometimes ppl I think just say stuff like that to let you know they acknowledge your feelings about it and put your mind at ease. I guess it can be kinda like constructive criticism, it might hurt but it's all done in love to let you know they hear you, truly know you and your inner feelings and to make us all feel, look and do better in the end. It reminds me of when I'd ask my ex if I looked fat in something and he'd say he pleaded the fifth, then I'd have to laff and find something else till he got the right answer. LOL Or the other day had a lovely pimple on my nose and my daughter said it looked like my nose was pierced so I asked her for a sparkly eyeliner to decorate it.  It's all good hun, cuz we know it's really the person that's inside that counts and you rock girl. ;) | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/29/2005 10:33:00 PM | Hey no ones Perfect and never forget that people!!
Any one who feels their above everyone else isn't perfect either!!
Sure some of us may have scars and yep some of us use words to scar others !!
Yeah lots of people sure do use them words to hurt ones feelings sometimes.
And yes this does put scars on someones heart .
So come on now have some heart with your mate and treat them with respect as yes you may have scars also and is your mate commenting about yours ??
Nope not likely so show them respect and show them real love and not what a jerk would be ! | |
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Enig
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Joined: 12/18/2004
Msg: 22 | |
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DNT38
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Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/30/2005 4:27:21 AM | How would I feel about dating someone with scars? I don't think it would bother me at all. If I'm interested in the person for who they are, then I would be accepting them for the whole package of who they are, be that kids, past relationships, past experiences and scars. Everybody has a past, whats happened in the past, is the past, and you would be accepting the person for who they are now.
When would you tell them? I don't think that it would be something that would be discussed on a first meet, unless of course you got into the situation of sex on the first meet. You can hold off for a bit and see if the relationship has some actual potential to go anywhere and if it seems that it might, that would probably be a good time to tell them and see if thats going to be a problem or not. If they cant accept that you may have scars, either emotional or physical, well maybe it wasn't meant to be.
When do you show them? Whenever and if ever you are comfortable enough about them to show them, its up to you. Knew a lady for years, hung out with her a lot, been to the beach with her on several occasions, never knew she had a very wicked scar that started on her shoulder and ran down to her chest, she always had it covered and never mentioned it for a long time cause she was uncomfortable about it. Its really up to you how or if you show it.
What do you do if someone makes a hurtful comment? Take it stride. If they meant to be hurtful with the comment, they are going to be hurtful with other comments and you'll notice that characteristic of their personality, your choice to continue the relationship or not once you know that characteristic exists, If it just blurted out of their mouth without thought behind it, it was just a comment and they will more than likely apologize for it. | |
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| Ladies and their scars....What are your thoughts guys?
Posted: 5/30/2005 5:48:35 AM | I have a series of laparoscopy scars on my pelvis, and right upper side...
When I've been asked about them in the past, I just tell them they're there for playing connect the dots.
They don't bother me in the slightest, maybe because they're pretty small, but primarily because I know that without at least one set of those scars, I'd be dead right now.
So...I wear them with pride, and thanks. | |
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