| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:01:40 AM | | ok, a question for the guys and girls, has anyone else had extremely negative reactions when they've said no to sex with a woman? Be it because your tired,ill,not in the mood or the timing is off. In my experence your either accused of cheating or not acting like a man. Yes i know we men are supose to always want sex but please that went out right after hitting mid 20's. so women who say no are called teases' frigid,commetmint phobic etc. what are men called? and is this a the same double standard thats normally in mens favor? | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:33:28 AM | My younger brother said whenever he turned down a gal for sex, she would accuse him of being gay. When I turn down sex, I am called figid. I call it selective.
A lot of it goes with the fact that men are pushed and mediaed to be 24/7 sex machines. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:50:18 AM | "has anyone else had extremely negative reactions when they've said no to sex with a woman?"
It has been my general experience that in most cases women don't handle being turned down for sex well, though they have no problem whatsoever turning us down for sex. I think there is a mindset where they think we are just all about sex all the time and if we are turning them down, then we must think they are really horrible or something.
I was once having a problem with pain in one hip that caused sex to be a rather unpleasant experience. She was convinced I was "getting it someplace else". It caused some serious problems in that relationship. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:53:08 AM | There's always sour grapes.
I've always been amazed at how scornfull and insulting women can be when they don't get sex when they want. Women grow up thinking that sex is so easy for them that they can get it whenever they want and only they are allowed to turn it down.
I've gotten insulted the most in one-night-stand type situations. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:13:52 AM | | ooooooooooo turn me down any time. i need my sleep at my age. just let me cuddle into your back and snore | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:25:03 AM | | i may have been cover many times before adrian but ive only been a member of fish a few weeks geez always a negative person on these | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:53:14 AM | Never an extremely negative reaction, all have been more shock.
I think when a women decides to approach a man for sex (as in a stranger or acquaintance) they expect he will say yes. I think they have a hard time understanding how men do actually say no.
I'm not into casual sex or one night stands, never have been so have turned down I think about seven or eigtht women that have come out and directly asked for it. Most women though tend to drop very strong hints instead so I've played dumb more times than I recall. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:58:13 AM | Whenever i've turned down a woman for sex and she said i was gay... it had no effect on me. I had the will power and wasn't desperate enough to just f**k anyone and i walk away proud & happy. She got declined so there's no insult she can hurl at me that wouldn't roll off my back.
When that happens, she's walking in the dirty gutter and im on the clean sidewalk as far as im concerned.
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:59:15 AM | [Most women though tend to drop very strong hints instead so I've played dumb more times than I recall. ]
 Ain't dat da troof!
I was doing work in a factory last night on a shut down. I was on my knees and a woman walked up and said, "I know you've probably heard this before, but while you're down there..."
I just smiled at her because it was loud in there and I didn't hear what she said. My apprentice had to tell me what she said. I was just glad I didn't hear, she was definitely the type I'd want to do that with. | |
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:26:46 AM | i'm guilty of this because i will not do strangers or dates.. BUT if we are friends i'll never say no, it works for me.
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:30:26 AM | the girl just laughed. she had jus met me and she was dying to eat me out. i couldn't though. we were drunk and i didn't want her to regret it. i had a good feeling she was a hoe. didn't want her yelling rape or giving me an std. i wanted to though. she was fine as a mafu*ka, and i hadn't had any good head in a while. she was too anxious though. she wasn't mad she said she understood. i told her we should spend some more time with her and we could hump all the time. she said it was cool.
men don't turn down sex as often as women do so i don't think its a situation that happens enough to deserve a title. i could be wrong | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 12:45:50 PM | women have various reasons to turns men down for "SEX"!
Yet when a man turns down a women for sex there might be several realisitic reasons for his turn down,
(1) don't want to be take a chance or be exposed to std's
(2) no emotional attachment.
(3) wants to get to know his partner- before sex
(4) doesn't do a "first date" or strangers
(5) Wants it to have meaning relationship--instead of a physical release
(6) not in the mood - overly tired - lacks libido to perform at the moment.
(7) health problems (most cmmon)
(8) don't want to a male whore (used)
(10) not a gigilo
Many more reeasons are available
( a) he is being RESPECTFUL to a" LADY" and a gentleman
(b) might ruin the future atmosphere of dating _ both to give in or not to?
(c) he ain't gay by no means
(d) he ain't bi sexual by no means
(e) it's the right thing to do---L_O_L
everyone one to their own reasons:
sex is a action towards a reactions-- take your chances --- make your choices!!!
What goes on in vegas stays in vegas?????? | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 12:56:59 PM | This just reminded me of the time an ex-girlfriend turned me down,and I was then the one kicked out of the bed. We'd been planning to have sex and she was having a bath first. I was waiting in bed all worked up and when she came to the bedroom she told me she changed her mind because the bath had made her too tired. Rather angrily I rolled over and turned off the lamp,and she got into bed beside me. After about 10 minutes she told me if I was going to be like that(?)I could just get out,so I did.
If I'm turned down I take it in stride. It's disappointing,but it won't kill me. I've turned down women a couple of times,usually when it was at the end of a day's work and I hadn't had a shower yet or was just too tired,and they didn't get angry. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:27:03 PM | | I've been turned down a jillion times (did I say that out loud? how undesirable am I?). OK, maybe it's been, like 6 times ever, but it seems like a jillion. Mostly it's because they are "good guys" who don't want to "demean" me by having sex with me when they don't really want to have a relationship, or during a relationship when they're trying to check out of it, or because they don't have protection. I DO let them know it's not ideal (in fact, I have said more than once "That's not ideal"), but only when I was very young did I have a fit about it. Today my reaction would be more along the lines of "Be that way, dumbass" and I'd go away. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:30:46 PM | Took two hours to stop the tears when I told her 'No'. 
Two hours of ... what? You stud!
oh wait..whose tears? | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:09:51 PM | Just turn it into a postive . . .the last guy who turned me down for the second round in the morning said he wanted to leave me horny so I'd come back sooner. You have to be delicate when you turn them down, if you want them to come back that is.
If you don't want them back then I also know a very good line . . . a "friend" of mine that I kept trying to seduce and he finally told me that it would be like having sex with his sister. That made sense as well, you can't argue with good sound reasoning like that.
Try to avoid the basic flat "no" or "I don't feel like it." | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:37:36 PM | Rolling A Long -- "Two hours of ... what? You stud!"
Two hours to calm her down and stop crying after I said "You're kidding". | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:06:05 PM | It does not surprise me that people have been called gay, been told they are not men, or had women respond with tears. Obviously different women are going to react differently....however....
If a women flips out because you turn her down, thats usually a red flag anyways. One thing I would never do (as a man) is take her personal attackers "personally." Her calling you gay has a lot more to do with her, than it has to do with you.I'd say there are probably two big reasons why women get upset (definitely more than that, but i think these two are central)
Some women use sex as their only token of love. Treat her like a princess, but if you don't have sex with her, she feels unloved. This isn't entirely women's faults. In our society, women's sense of themselves largely depends on their sexual attractiveness. This is in part because as men, we only view women in terms of their sexual attractiveness. As a man, if every single magazine cover, billboard, advertisement on TV, movie character, and sitcom star was as attractive as Brad Pitt, you might start to doubt yourself too.
Some women, especially attractive ones can't handle a situation where they don't get their way. This isn't entirely the women's fault either. After all, it is us (men) who bend over backwards every time a gorgeous women asks us for a favor. The best predictor of whether we help someone in need isn't what they need, whether we have the time or even how considerate we are. It's how attractive they are.
These social norms/situations are major "Catch 22"s. We demand that women achieve physical perfection but get annoyed that they constantly seek reassurance from us about their perfection. Women complain that all men want is sex, but get upset when we don't want to have sex with them. Ugh! | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:57:35 PM |
Took two hours to stop the tears when I told her 'No'.
Been there, done that too, man. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:07:31 PM | Only once has a woman freaked out after an invitation was declined. But she was drunk and I wasn't going to take advantage of her.
Later, she thanked me but man was she pissed that night!
Like another posted above...sometimes playing stupid does the trick just fine. | |
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| turning women down for sex
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:44:20 PM | Just tell her that you're waiting for the test results to come back. In the event you get a clean bill of health, you'll give her a call to hook up. That'll work.  | |
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