| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:17:27 PM | | I started dating a guy on pof 6 months ago, asked for marriage, moved in, I am paying all the bills he has given me a total of 200 dollars since January, I have 2 older kids so he claims why should he pay for their food, I found a letter to his ex girlfriend on his e-mail and he claims the only reason he wrote her was because she owes him 200 dollars yet he was wishing her a merry x-mas and asking her why she has not been online ( we were seeing eachother at the time it was written). I am starting to feel like a schmuck and could use advice... | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:20:49 PM | He saw you coming a mile away, I will never understand women like you who do stupid things.
You met a guy, he moves in, you pay all his bills and you've found emails he written to his ex girl friend, and Im not even going to ask how you saw the email, and you post on here, " am I being played?"
You know what happens when you stand in the sun with butter on your head.?
and the answer is??? | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:21:38 PM | Maybe he shouldn't chip in for food for your kids.....what was your agreement when he moved in as far as expenses go?
Regardless, $200 wouldn't even cover half of my utilities for a month....he does use water and electricity doesn't he? | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:22:13 PM | | YOU are being PLAYED...........plain & simple | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:22:57 PM | | I agree about the food thing for my kids but he says he has to many bills to pay lol | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:25:29 PM | | It sounds like you are doing all the work in this relationship and he's just enjoying the ride. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:25:58 PM | OK, but what about you....don't you have bills. Why should one relationship partner foot all the bills when you are living together?
WHAT was the agreement when he moved in...surely you discussed this in some way, shape or form? | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:32:50 PM | | yes but i was under the impression he was broke and I found his bank statement last week by accident which proves completly otherwise he is not broke at all I was willing to help him get ahead lol yes i am an idiot but i was mislead | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:35:09 PM | | No, you're not being played. You're being stupid, which is totally different. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:35:29 PM | Please ask yourself this:
what does this man bring to the table for you?
what does he give you? Does he make you feel good about yourself? Does he really make you feel loved?
HAs this been a pattern for you in the past? Do you have a need to 'mother' a man or do you want the man to look after you? Or better yet...be equal partners.
Just by being on here and ASKING the question, you have already answered your question.
the REAL question is 'What are you going to do about it?"
does marriage to this man still sound good?
do you need someone in your life that badly?
Wouldn't you rather be alone than feeling what you are right now? Worried, confused and sick that you might be played?
YOu have children. How old are they? This man won't contribute to feeding YOUR CHILDREN wants to marry YOU? What, doesn't he WANT to be a family? Is he building any kind of relationship with your children? Ask yourself..do you want a man who wouldnt' feed your kids? You are living in the same space.Why is it mine and yours?
The answers are within you ..so is the courage to do something about this awful situation. If you need help, we are here for you..F | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:35:40 PM | | Good lord, this is really a shocker. 200 dollars (that's £100 in old empire money) is nothing. Why did you move in with him? If he isn't prepared to contribute, you should boot him out. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:35:42 PM | | omg god kick him to the fricken curb!!! played is not the word for this flat out humped right up the hoop is!! get rid of the loser ur better then he'll ever = up to | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:37:33 PM | | If you found his bank statement and he is not broke, then yes he has been playing you. Kick his ass out! | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:38:20 PM | ummmmmm.....DUH!
yes you're being played. wise up girlie, gold diggers and freeloaders come in all genders.
6 months is a bit soon to be moving in given you have kids isn't it? Hmmmmm, sounds like you know the answer and just want confirmation of the really bad choice you've made.
Own the fact you screwed up, boot him out, and then spend some time alone without a guy. figure out why you allowed that to happen to yourself. No man can fill the emotional void no matter how charming, if you are not confident in and comfortable with yourself.
better off with no man/woman than with the wrong one. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:39:39 PM | | For one thin everything happend much to soon! You don't even know what he is really capable of yet. And why are you paying the rent and he won't even pay for your two older children to eat unless they are adults of course. You probaly are being played. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to have a talk with him | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:40:30 PM | | The answer is yes!!!. Does this guy eat, use the utilities. Obviously yes.But you pay,, friends with benefits and bonuses. This guy is a leech, a freeloader, a mooch.Tight as a ducks behind--watertight and living off of you.Get rid my dear, think of the money you,ll save and the stress free life you will have. You know it makes sense.Bye bye mooch. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:41:06 PM |
I started dating a guy on pof 6 months ago, asked for marriage, moved in, I am paying all the bills he has given me a total of 200 dollars since January, I have 2 older kids so he claims why should he pay for their food, I found a letter to his ex girlfriend on his e-mail and he claims the only reason he wrote her was because she owes him 200 dollars yet he was wishing her a merry x-mas and asking her why she has not been online ( we were seeing eachother at the time it was written). I am starting to feel like a schmuck and could use advice...
Woman, the reason why you're starting to feel like schmuck is because you're one! You've known the guy for 6 months and you moved in with him??? You thought he had no money and you still moved in with him? why? why on earth did you do that?
Get out of this. If it's your place, kick him out, if it's his place, pack your bags and move out. Don't try to prove a point with him, it's useless. Take a good long break from dating so you can work up on your self-confidence not to be taken in by people like him again. | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:41:33 PM | sounds like the next time he leaves to go where ever the store the bar,,i assume he's not workin since ur footin the bills for him an givin him a place to stay, but the nexttime he leaves you need to have all his stuff packed an outside on the curb maybe that will give him the hint that ur tired of his lying ass..
i just wonder if he moved in so quickly where was he living b4?? was he living on his own or with friends family or what??? does he have kids?? of his own?
an how was all his "too many bills" came from?? they didnt just fall outta the sky he racked them up somehow? an thats a poor exscuse so what he has bills you do to..
sounds like not only are you being played but he's using you for free living an Financial Assistance, i'm sure once he finds another sucker he'll move on..
sorry lady but u've been taken on a wild adventure only to realize that hey you didnt go anywhere or win anything you got manipulated an have had circles ran around you..
sweety you can do bad all by urself,, don't take in a man who has more problems an debt then you do..he should be takin care of you,,not you takin care of him..
here's ur sign!!! | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:43:46 PM | If you really need to ask, then no your not being played...
You are playing along...............................................
~Belly~ | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:45:16 PM | where do they find women like you?
-no really!!!  | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:46:55 PM | Been there, done that.
Advice: Run like Hell! | |
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| am i being played?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:47:59 PM | yes, and you are playing as well.....doing the math - 6 months ago started dating, moved in with you and your two older children in January - so 3 months after meeting and with no talk of how you would work out the finances, it sounds like.
and you need advice now?
besides, your profile is still trying to sell yourself and is full of 'prefer not to say's....and you question his writing his x?
my advice - ask him/tell him to move out as quickly as you agreed to have him move in.
my concern - it's gonna be harder to get him to leave.
my deeper concern - are you going to learn the lesson and be much more careful next time?
my deepest concern - your children and what they are learning from all this. | |
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