| Tricks on avoiding the "marrieds"
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:19:05 PM | I recently came up with a great "trick" to avoid meeting up with married men - you know, the ones who don't bother to tell you this vital information until it's too late. Or the ones who claim to be separated but really aren't... and then I thought to myself, I bet there are other good tips and tricks available for both sexes.
So, here's mine.
Set the first date for Sunday brunch. I'm reckoning it's almost impossible for most marrieds/committeds to get away then. And for the ones who really "must" sleep in, too bad. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:37:46 PM | | How about just calling him at his home number early in the evening during the week, without blocking yours. Seems to me any single guy would be willing to give out his home number. If all you have is a cell# that should be a red flag. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:57:53 PM | | I just came right out and ask them face to face..Body language tells it all....usually they come out and say they are married but then goes into this ..( faking playing the violin) taudry, whiny..my wife does not understand me..she is sleeping up stairs..I am sleeping down stairs..pleeeeeeease. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:27:06 PM | Here is my take. You cannot catch a married person if he/she is experienced and doesn't want to be caught. Only their spouse or s.o. is intimately enough involved with them to catch them.
I try so hard to avoid married or otherwise involved men, but even with all my experience, I still am occassionally fooled. There are too many jobs and professions for both men and women that have odd hours, cell phones, trips out of town, available computers, and friends and family that will cover for them to find any hard and fast red flags that will give you a clue.
The best example I can give is a fairly recent experience. I was seeing a guy for about six months. During that time, there were no telephone restrictions, I was invited to his home, I met several members of his family, we went to places he was known, and he gave me a tour of his workplace. I was floored when I got that dreaded phone call from the s.o. . She traveled extensively and he had odd hours. She was only able to figure it out because she was using his cell and found my number many times. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:29:53 PM | I dont even have a landline, all I have is a cell phone. That's not always a good indicator.
I dont watch TV and my village provides internet, so I just never bothered to get a phone or wired for cable. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:33:04 PM | | You know, if you want to be REALLY sure, you could, you know, just not date or anything. 100% guaranteed to never find a married or attached man. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:44:13 PM | Only men pulling this routine???
I wish it was as easy as all the advice on here.
I dated two ladies who claimed to be single but turned out to be seperated and the divorce was just in the thinking stages. Well the reality of that is that every divorce is ugly and goes back and forth. I also dated a lady who had a live in boyfriend and later told me that he was just there because he had no place to live at the time and slept in a spare bed room. Wow, did that turn out to be a disaster!!
It all came out after I became interested in them and had already invested emotions in the budding relationships.
The bottom line is that if you are being misled and played by experts you can't see it coming until it's too late.
Such is the nature of online dating.
But I'm not cynical enough to believe that every one is that way. I have met some ladies online that were who they said they were. Damn, that's refreshing. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:18:20 PM | Sunday Brunch?
Might work.. but I work odd hours, as I am on the east coast, my comapany is on the west, I have nightly (work night) conf calls with partners in Asia and India. Top that off with spending my time with my kids on the weekends. Mornings are very bad for me, but I am only one example...
Seems to me any single guy would be willing to give out his home number
Welcome to the 21 century where many people no longer have home phones. YOu won't get me except on my cell, but chances are I will answer it 24/7 unless I'm someplace where it isn't acceptable... movies, poker room, etc.. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:23:15 PM | | I flat out tell 'em..."if you are married, I will find out ....and when I do, I'll be on your doorstep to tell your wife, so you better think about it" | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:31:37 PM | | Arrange (as soon as feasible) to meet them at their house and also at their place of employment. LOL that'll set tongues wagging if the other party is married! | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:05:36 AM | | Yeah I had this recently happen to me... A lady I met at a party and was date'n failed to mention to me she was married.. Like many others on here have already said, there were NO red flags... She invited over to her house many of times at different times and days. Called me on the phone late at night, early in the day, whenever.. I get a call from her husband after about 2 months wondering why my number was in his wifes phone so often..Me being the person that I am, I didn't rat on her. I told her husband that I play volleyball with her at the YMCA and that sometimes a group of us hang out after the games.. I just didn't feel like it was my place to break the news to him about what was go'n on.. If she wants him to know she can tell him. They're the ones who are married, not me. I told her that I didn't apreciate her hide'n the fact that she was married from me and that we can't be mess'n around anymore... | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:07:00 PM | Ok girls - here's my sneaky trick.
Having the home phone number is good, having the work phone number is also good, not only for weeding out 'marrieds' but also for your own safety.
But if I suspect that he is being dishonest with me I follow this plan. I phone him with my voice full of concern, and tell him that a woman has left a message on my phone saying that she has found my number and is curious to hear the voice of the woman who is seeing her husband! I didn't answer the call you know ... I just have the message. Of course 'as far as I know' I am not seeing a married man I would never do that! I was just wondering if he knew who it might be, who's wife might have found my number and called my phone - gosh she sounded angry!
If he is genuinely single he will just shrug his shoulders and change the subject, probably a wrong number - totally innocent and soon forgotten. If he is married ... well usually he disappears with a rather green look on his face and runs frantically home with a bunch of flowers for the wife, no doubt approaching her tentatively - and I never hear from him again.
I dont think that my trick is that harmless (certainly not if the guy is single) ... but it seems to work! | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:22:39 PM |
How about just calling him at his home number early in the evening during the week, without blocking yours. Seems to me any single guy would be willing to give out his home number. If all you have is a cell# that should be a red flag.
That may have worked in the past but these days may younger people (like myself) don't have home phones. We just have cell phones. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:25:27 PM | | Try going out with him on different nights of the week at different times of day. Single guys should have virtually nothing they can't shuffle around to go out with a woman. Married guys on the other hand... | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:25:28 AM |
That may have worked in the past but these days may younger people (like myself) don't have home phones. We just have cell phones.
Older people such as myself (and my buds) don't have home phones either. I love bustin' youngins on stuff like that. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:40:44 AM | Ideas:
Home number besides cell phone. Do some detective work and find out where he lives and just drive by one day and stop and ask for directions when he is supposedly at work, then when talking to him next describe his wife by saying you met the nicest lady. Make plans for him to come over then quickly change them and say you will need to meet at his place instead. Get some lipstick on his collar and wear lots of perfume....if married, the signs will be sure to show up sooner than later with any one of these. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:27:13 AM | Ypk...
Exactly what I was thinking.. 'tricks'? Isn't that also what a prostitute calls a 'date'.. beyond that.. tricks are just games and if you can't figure out a man or woman is otherwise attached and are lying to you, well then you just may be a tad naive.
Let's face it folks, there are a multitude of ppl out there that are unhappy with their present situation and want some fun or want to find someone who will make them feel better without leaving the one they are with, it happens.
I guess to me the best route to finding out is first of all ASK.. if you can't tell when someone is lying then they are really good at it or your skills of reading people are not that well honed.
Can't say as I have ever been totally floored when I found out someone who was interested in me was married or otherwise unavailable. Well, accept the very first time, but then I was young and naive then myself. When he told me, I already had an idea that was what he was going to say for some reason.. weird.
I have never understood the whole cheating nor the lying to get with one when otherwise involved. Seems to me that if I want to be in a monogumous relationship I will be, if I don't, I'll not be.
Seems pretty simple to me.
I also don't get the thing ppl do to get others to sleep with them in this day and age. It's a simple yes or no thing.
I DO understand the ppl who can't deal with not having anyone by their side, don't agree with it, but I understand it is something some ppl need, so they stay with one person until they know they have another. Still think that is silly, but there are ppl who feel they need someone all the time.
I may end up without a man who I am married or otherwise committed to, but I am not going to make that define me or my happiness. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:06:59 PM | Ask around... Family, Friends, Co-workers, if you are suspicious. Someone's bound not to be able to keep a secret.
I was working with a guy a while back. He seemed nice, flirted, and we got along. I asked all the right questions, got all the right responses. We went out for lunch on a few occasions, nothing big. I asked his last name, (in my job, people come and go with a moments notice.) He got really quiet about it, but then with the internet searches I wasn't too worried, figured he was just being cautious. So I looked in his truck when he wasn't there. I found only his name on the insurance card and registration. He said I can call his cell phone at any time and no one else would answer. He talked as if he was single, etc. We ended up staying at work one night well into the wee hours of the morning talking and having a good (clean) time. I asked if there was anyone at home that would be upset at him not being there and he said, No. He went home and the next day everything seemed normal. Several days later, one of the Mill-workers pulled me aside and said that he 'thought' the guy was married but wasn't sure. The next day, he was doing some repairs on my truck, and a lady in a pickup pulled up. He went to talk to her, then got mad, said he'd been found by someone he didn't want to find him. He got in his truck and drove off, as did she. I finished working on my truck, and about 10 minutes later, he returned. I asked who the lady was. He said no one in particular. I said, "Well I suppose that's the wife you FORGOT to mention." He shook his head left and right, and by that time I already knew the routine.
So just when you think someone's single, you better do more homework!
CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:37:01 PM | | You realize this is mostly only a problem for people who jump into sex way too soon. If you take time to get to know someone first, you'll know... or they'll get tired of waiting and move on to someone a little "easier". | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:57:33 PM | If they are always rubbing their ring finger, "married", some men and women twirl the ring/rings on their finger, even though they are trying to lie to you, subconsciously they will play with that finger. Some men will remove their ring just prior to you meeting, the dumb ones will put their ring in one of their front pockets, which is very easy to see sometimes, or if he gets close just slide your hands over his pockets. And if you are so inclined leave your lipstick down by your seat by the door, men usually drive and the wifey is the passenger. Not only that the dumb ones when cleaning their car will actually bring it into their wife, "honey you dropped this"!!!
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:22:09 AM | I'm just curious if the OP would automatically NOT date someone who couldn't meet for Sunday brunch? There are dozen's of legit commitments a guy could have, softball league, coaching son's team, church, work, etc...
Seems like all this suspicion could potentially cause her to cast aside some good men.....
I think until someone DOES something to warrant being suspicious, everyone, men and women, deserves a clean slate. | |
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| Tricks on avoiding the marrieds
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:36:30 AM | I can think of a example when meeting for a Sunday brunch doesn't mean innocence.. Know someone who was dating a guy who would visit her every weekend, wanted a serious relationship with her, said she was the only one in his life, and wanted no one else . He would leave at 11:oo am Sunday after spending the whole weekend with her to pick up his children across the state (3 hours away) He then would meet up with someone he was talking to during the week for a quickie on the way home .. If a person (man or woman) is a player they will find a way
The fact he could ONLY get together every sunday between 11:30 and 1:00pm ( the time it took to leave the one place to get to the other and the time it would take to meet his kids) is a red flag. | |
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