| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:55:27 PM | Are more teens NOT wanting to get their license? How much should I push my son to get his?
Ok my son turned 16 last spring and I thought I'd be nagged to death for his D/L... but no.. "yea I want my license is as far as it went.
We live in the middle of nowhere and you can't even get a cab to come out here after 9. (unless you give them a CC over the phone)It's an hour ride on the bus for him to get to school, but like 20-25 mins. by car.
Anyways, I refuse to ride him anywhere pretty much.. Seems alot of the parents are into just driving the kids around...Talking at the PTA and rec center this is becoming the norm...Parents around here have no problem with it, and I was amazed at how many Sr.'s don't have a car or D/L...
Is this a new trend? When I was 16, almost EVERY single kid had their lic. In fact it was 15 1/2 for learner's and younger for farming licence.
Just being that I am raising 2 kids, it would be great to send my son out to pick up something...Also there is no way to get to a job...
So..... is better to have another driver, or happy to not be worrying to death??????????(That's what alot of the parents say around here) | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:49:22 PM | I got mine the day I turned 17, but didn't have a car right away. I had to get a job, whild in highschool and make the payments so mom would sign the papers for me. It wasn't as expensive then though and that was only 12 years ago..
now it's way expensive to drive. My cousin just turned 18 and her dad gave her a car. She works and goes to school and all her money goes to gas and insurance. She can barely afford Wendy's with her friends. It's not a great situation for her. She says she would giv eup the car if her mom would agree to drive her to her friends and her dads, but her mom won't do it and dad can't afford to pay her insurance bill for her.
I would say be glad not to be worried to death.. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:55:15 PM | I didn't get my license until I was 19. I had a job from the time I was 13, so I managed to work without a car for 6 years. I rode my bike from my mom's to town (about 11 miles). If there's a will, there's a way.
I know what you mean about the bus ride to school thing. I was one of the first ones picked up, and was on the bus for just over an hour. My stepdad took me to school often so I could sleep in. lol. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:14:12 PM | | I grew up in the sticks and started driving at the age of 9... I grew up driving anything with peddles and wheels.. but I didn't get my DL until I was 19. opps lol I think with the cost of insurance its a no brainier as to why they don't want to drive. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:44:58 PM | | My daughter got her license at 16 and we were both thrilled. Yes, I worried about her (still do years later), but when you have a high school student who is on two sports teams and has 5 dance classes a week as well as school clubs... I'd have had to quit my job just to transport her. After years of her cadging rides with teammates it was a pleasure to let her take the car and pay some of them back. Sharing the car until she got her own worked out fine. She's in college now, I pay the insurance, she pays the gas (until she graduates, then it's all her). | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 7:21:00 PM | I don't get this either OP, my step son was the same way. For him it boiled down to being scared to death to take the test and fail.
I think if you are going to be afraid of something that basic, it is going to hinder your chances in life. What do you do in harder decisions?? He turned down a job working for the City at $15.00/hr to stay at Friendly's washing dishes for $8.00 an hour. Why??? Because of the 19yr old waitresses who won't give him the time of day.
My oldest, my daughter is getting ready to get her learner's permit, and like you we are rural. I can't wait for her to start driving. But, with driving comes responsibility. She has to work and help me pay for the increase in my insurance. She cannot have her own car until she can save half the cost, and she must be able to put gas in the car and pay for maintenance. This is what my parents did with me...heck I had to pay for my own driver's ed, but back then it was only $75..it's now over $500, so she has to contribute to that too, but not the whole thing. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/27/2008 7:42:41 PM | Because of some extenuating circumstances with my becoming very seriously ill last spring and an incompetent other parent, my daughter did not get her permit when she was 15 and frankly, the whole damned thing is so confusing she still doesn't have it. She recently turned 16 and while she really, really wants to learn to drive we have wound up with one thing after another coming up like the transmission going out on my vehicle.
I don't worry about her driving because she is uber responsible and her friends all seem to be as well. She had one girl tell them all to be quiet or she was letting them out of the vehicle. I know of other parents that do not let them drive but one person for the first six months. Kids today seem more aware that it takes concentration and experience to drive well and don't want to be responsible for totalling a car or hurting their friends.
I think when you get sick of carting him around you will make sure he has had enough time behind the wheel to get his license. My stepson is 29 and currently lives in eastern Tennessee and I'm not sure if he ever got a license, but he didn't get one here because when he turned 16 we got custody of him and he never followed through on the grades he was expected to get for us to ante up the cash for driver's ed and he left the state before he turned 18.
I don't know if it is a trend but few of my daughter's friends seem to have gotten their permits as soon as they could or the license the minute they turned 16. And I live in an area of the country in which it always seemed like everyone gave their kids a car when they were 16 if they could really afford it or not. The only one I know of, the mother is bipolar so I think she had significant incentive to want to be able to get out of the house whenever she wanted, and her grandfather replaced his car and gave it to her, so she has her own vehicle too. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 1:51:30 AM | I will only let my son or daughter drive if they keep their grades up. It will also be their responsibility to have a part time job...just enough to keep their part of the insurance paid. I will also require that they go to the driving school around here that uses policmen to teach drivers ed. If they don't want to do that...I will get them a bus pass  You are saving money by not having him drive. I understand your problem though....living so far from everything. I hope you find a good solution. The advantage that people in the cities have is public transportation.
Thank God I still have a couple of years until my son drives....cause he really really wants too!
Plus: All of my above mentioned requirements....grades, drivers ed.....lowers your insurance premium | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 11:30:15 AM | i have 2 sons and they both were not interested in learning till age 19 and i was glad about that as by that time they are more mature and responsible.
now they are 21/22 and have their licence and also bought their first car with their own earnings.
i think when the time is right your son will ask that he wishes to learn...no use putting pressure on him if he is not ready for it yet
just my 2 cents | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 2:00:20 PM | I understand the money... For just basic coverage it's $1,988.
I also understand the car,
But this is neither for my son. I have my own contruction business, and he could easily make 500 plus a week, A 1,000 in the summer if he wants.. it's all up to him..The more HE makes the more I make.
There lays part of the problem... money means nothing to him. He does not have the urge to go get something, did I spoil him over the years???
Car is not an issue either. I have a couple older trucks, and and even an orginal 84,000 mile older chevy caprice, which was actually traded in a job for his older brother 4 years ago, but he's married out of the house,kid, and 75 mins away,,and still no D/L
I offered to pay for everything but the insurance and gas...
We'll see what happens tuesady when they go back to school. He hasn't said anything about pay, and it's going down like this...
I'm gonna clip like 400 dollars on the frig and tell him... Here's what you eraned this week... You can use it for car insurance, or it's staying there until your 18 and you can use it for a security deposit on an aprtment.. I'm serious
...get tried of driving him around...
Pffft, thats my point. He often ask, and I look him right in the eye and say get your licence and drive yourself.. There will be a cold day when I drive him 1/2 hour up the road so he can play station or skatebord.....NOT at almost 17......BUT...
Plenty of parents seem to be find with it
Out of all my child rearing years ... this is the most frustrating, Then when I start talking around with other parents, I get the shoulder shurgs, and It's how they are now days
BTW he thinks it's fine to take a go-cart or his sister's motorcycle up the road... However, that's not happening... Other parents let their kids, but I refuse ... I even take their toys to another farm to ride, NOT on the street.
Again, I understand the money strain on the parents, but in my situaion, the boy could be doing good, and making his dad some money..
While I'm here ranting.... Each summer I'll get a boy or two from the neighborhood that works a few weeks, month starting out for money to get a car, but they are to lazy to work...I watch the 19 y.o. walk past the house several times a week who worked for me 4 years ago....sad but true. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 2:27:10 PM | | My son is 14 right now. I got him a bus pass when we lived in Phoenix. Here in Washington...he rarely asks for a ride...he just rides his bike. Its about a 15 minute ride to the library. I do take him and his sisters places...but they can't get a license yet. I understand your predicament. My son can't wait to get a job..lol. He has always been my entrepreneur. But as a rule...kids are lazy these days. I think you should quit driving him anywhere. He will eventually want a license. Good luck | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:59:32 PM | Mine bugs the crap out of me to get his license. Problem is......he won't do a damn thing around the house (on his own initiative) to help out. I have to remind him to feed his own dog, pick up his plate, don't leave socks in the living room, don't put his cap or hats on the kitchen counter, don't get into my tools without asking....etc, etc, etc.
He wants a license. Badly. Until I see more responsibility out of him it won't happen. | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/29/2008 9:26:56 AM | Hi 4408joseph.... well, speaking "from BOTH sides of the fence" i am a parent of Two 6 ft. Boys, AND i am a Driving Examiner for The State,.. the stupidest thing a parent can do is bring their child in on their 16th Birthday to take The DrivingTest...if they fail, they hate our guts, if they pass, they are an accident waiting to happen... i Love my Job (yes i am crazy and i sometimes use my own children as examples, both of them had accidents within the first four months of getting their licenses... one got his at 16 & one got his at 18.
and a few years ago, i got word that a teenager i had tested, was given a car and had a few of his friends in the car, were playing music loud not paying attention, & talking, going a bit too quick, Lost Control of the Vehicle, and crashed, He died, one passenger/a friend died, and the other was still alive when taken to hospital....
Parents should know in their heart if their child is ready and can take on the responsiblity of being in a moving 3000 lb metal target... too many parents are angry when their child does not pass, but maybe, just maybe there is !&%*$# reason for it?!? if i have to choose between safety and convenience, i have to choose safety.... Then, when they DO pass that Drive Test, its between the insurance company and fate.... Hugs.... 
P.S. we also have to give Driving Tests to people who ALREADY HAVE Licenses for Various Reasons, and they don't always pass, and to people from other states and other countries.....ALL ages ... *sigh* hugs again! | |
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| To drive OR not to drive..Who wants the new teen to drive.
Posted: 3/29/2008 10:21:21 AM | Neither of my boys, 19 and 17, drive, and it doesn't seem to bother either of them too much. They either bike or take the bus to work. If it's pouring out and I'm not busy, sometimes they'll ask for a lift, but that's a rarity. They both know that with insurance, it can cost upwards of $200 per month just to keep a car parked in the driveway, never mind actually driving it, and that's assuming they paid cash for it.
They'll both get their licenses eventually, but will probably rely on public transportation for the bulk of getting around for many years. I'm pointing out to them the benefits of those car-sharing outfits like Flexcar and Zipcar, for when they absolutely have to have an automobile, but outside of maybe a scooter, my kids might not *ever* own a vehicle of their own. It's the wave of the future.
That suits me just fine, ecologically AND safety-wise. | |
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