| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 12:56:41 PM | I've just asked my daughter if she needs a hand with the cookies she's baking. She growled at me before she barked 'i'm not flippin 5 anymore mum, I can read instructions, I do know whaich utensils are which'.
Ok, so left her to it, left her in peace in the kitchen baking her chocolate chip cookies.
She has just gon upstairs having finished tidying up after hersef (good gal at heart), so i've had a peek through the oven door to see that she's put her beautiful cookies on the 'cooling rack' not the baking sheet.
I've told her, we've had a laugh, but i'm wondering now - am I the only parent with 'independant' teenagers in my house?? | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 1:01:12 PM | No. Just about ALL teenagers go through this stage........ just as you did 26 or 27 years ago! (Sorry about that!! )
It's an essential part of learning.......... if I'd listened to my parents I'd still be living on a council estate and being grateful for the fact that I have a job in the local factory. | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 1:04:15 PM | That phrase 'youth is wasted on the young' comes to mind
I never listened to a word my mother told me and as for trying to give me advice?!
Forget it!! I knew everything anyway so why bother?
I think it is a right of passage for us to ignore parental advice. It's only now that i am thankful for advice(although only some)from my mother. | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 1:34:21 PM | Jus my experience, but teens listen more than a - pparent.
Say what you have to say, walk away, and don't look over your shoulder.
Independence is a good sign. | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 5:31:36 PM | NO no no! dont let her get away with that BS!! it's still your house! your still her mother! and you sit her little arse down, right then and there and say "out with it"
does she do that alot? or is this a recent development?
I've told her, we've had a laugh, but i'm wondering now - am I the only parent with 'independant' teenagers in my house?? ??? you've told her what?? and how do we now if your 'only parent with 'independant' teenagers in my house??'
I have 2. Lets here more | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 5:55:42 PM | Independance is great for teenagers. Half the advice adults give them is a load of cr*p anyway as half the time it's based on their own hidden agenders, neurosis or illeducation.
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 6:15:25 PM |
She growled at me before she barked
I was never allowed to growl or bark at my parents. If I did, there would have been consequences ! | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/29/2008 6:44:14 PM | Going through same thing OP
Told her when she pays rent,bills,puts food on table then she can have say...until then she goes with my rules(which aren't harsh/severe)
Agree with Msg 7...I'd have got bat in mouth(figure of speech up here),if i'd dared whimper never mind growl at parents.
But yeh you gotta let them learn somehow....we all had to | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:52:08 PM |
I was never allowed to growl or bark at my parents. If I did, there would have been consequences !/quote] Someitmes it's best to let them learn by their own mistakes , which is what I was doing, In the end she didn't get the cookies ...the dog did. She learnt what a baking sheet was and that a cooling rack was someting different. She also realised that she didn't know everything, but that she knows a bit more than she did before. I actually thought the situation was amusing. Knew she'd never made cookies on her own before .... she assumed because she makes her own gowns (as on my profile ...she's the young pretty one) that the cookies would be a doddle ... it was nice to see her fall flat on her face after her rant .... and she could see the funny side too! Would this have happened to me as a teenger...hell no! For one I knew how to cook and what utensils were called and used for - and 2 ..it would've earned me a swift thick ear  | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:44:53 PM |
Going through same thing OP
No disrespect Madam but your very....'Mature looking for a teenager.
She also realised that she didn't know everything, but that she knows a bit more than she did before
Now that, I find hard to believe ! She may well be a teenager, nevertheless , she is female and in most cases this leads to womanhood which in turn is the trigger for
know- all- itus. These symptoms could be attributed as much to her gender as her age.
My eldest son is 15 and is always ready to give me the benefit of his inexperience.
He's a lot different to how I was at his age in that he very rarely leaves his bedroom whereas I was never in the house. I think thats a sign of the times and the fact his bedroom is like a recording studio and has more state of the electrical gadgetry than Curry's.I would complain about how there was nothing to do & then stay out all night out getting it done. My youngest lad who is almost 12 is at that awkward age where he's
too old to cry but too young to swear. | |
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/31/2008 4:29:10 AM | We have to allow teens to feel their way. learn their lessons, and become whole people.
They "think" they know stuff that they don't. and will learn via that lack of experience that they don't know it all. (eventually)
I'm one of the infernally hated "no raised voices or smacking brigade". I had all that as a kid, and yes although i grew up perfectly normal to adulthood, i wouldn't dream of demeaning a child/teen by yelling at them. otherwise you're training them that its ok to be like that as adults.
Probably most will disagree with me and my stance, but to my credit, my kids grew up to be normal successful adults, who have never been drug users or binge drinkers, and were never in trouble at school or with the police.
My kids as they grew up always felt they could come to me with their problems openly, and so did their mates.
Doesn't matter she used a cooling rack, she'll know which to use next time. especially if the cookie dough sagged through the cooling rack as they cooked.
point for me to make would be.... she tried. and good on her, hope you enjoyed the cookies
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| Teenagers too Independant for advice?
Posted: 3/31/2008 7:40:06 AM |
I'm one of the infernally hated "no raised voices or smacking brigade". I had all that as a kid, and yes although i grew up perfectly normal to adulthood, i wouldn't dream of demeaning a child/teen by yelling at them. otherwise you're training them that its ok to be like that as adults.
Probably most will disagree with me and my stance, but to my credit, my kids grew up to be normal successful adults, who have never been drug users or binge drinkers, and were never in trouble at school or with the police.
My kids as they grew up always felt they could come to me with their problems openly, and so did their mates.
I will raise my voice but won't smack - and like you my children have grown up well-rounded free of drugs and alcohol binges etc etc. I'm not sure it's anything to do with whether you raise your voice or not, whether you smack or not . I think it's a lot more to do with having open and frank discussions with your children, them having faith in your values, you setting an example by living the life you 'preach' for them. | |
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