| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:23:54 PM | | The last three guys I've met for coffee (in two cases, a first meeting with someone online, in one case a first get together with a guy outside of a regular social activity) did exactly the same thing. We agreed to meet at a coffeehouse. They showed up slightly late. I'd already arrived and ordered a cup of tea or coffee & was sitting at a table when they arrived. They came, sat down, we sat and chatted for an hour or two. They never got a cup of coffee, tea, nothing. To me it seems really rude to the business owner to use their space to meet with someone and not even get a cup of tea. The first guy came off as pretty clueless so I shrugged it off as part of his cluelessness. The second guy wasn't really my style but seemed normal enough. The third guy was a pretty decent, interesting person. It just seems odd to me, though, for them to meet at a place where, essentially, the tables and chairs are there for the use of customers and not to purchase even a cup of tea. Is this normal? Thanks. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:27:30 PM | | Perhaps as long as you had the cup and since you both were at the same table.. it's ok, as long as a decent enough tip was left to cover the time. Did these men pick up the meeger tab? | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:52:20 PM | What is the essential thing that puzzles you -- the fact that three of them didn't order anything (frankly that would puzzle me especially three out of three fellas)
Or is the concern about taking up customer space in a coffee shop offensive to you?
Seems as though a common "first date" is coffee-shop-talk -greet and-meet. Perhaps you linked up with (unlikely) 3 caffeine free people.
Anyway, I'd suggest a different first place to meet situation -- unless of course these coffee houses are a real part of your life and are important part of who you are.
Sorry, I should just go to bed ... why the hell am I here.
just m'2-cents. | |
|
| |
| |
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 12:57:54 AM | I would've ordered something just to go along with the theme, but this is one of those things where perhaps the location was chosen to be a convenient place for a casual meet, not because the guy wanted to drink.
I've had couple cases where at a restaurant, the woman chose to go with just an appetizer, and in both cases the time and place of meeting was chosen by her, so it is not like she didn't like the place. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:09:57 AM |
Unless the coffee was like $7, then I guess I would think twice about it too
Yeah, how much is the coffee?? Anything over £2 and I'd be suggesting a stroll around the shops instead, after all the idea is to meet and chat. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 3:39:49 AM | i think maybe a " window shopping " date is a much better idea, at least that way the guy doesnt have to spend any money, if some thing catches her eye then she can purchase it ................and the guy can get some sort of idea what clothes she likes to buy or likes to wear..........................................................LOL
 | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 5:48:31 AM | | Maybe it was because you were already sat down that they thought they would come over and say hi to you first, but once they got talking, they forgot about the coffee? or maybe they were just cheap, but I can't see it somehow, since it's not as if they had to pay for yours, cos you already had one. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 5:57:09 AM | Sounds strange to me that they didnt get anything.
Maybe you arent thier style woman, dont know.
an hour or two, seems like they all were waiting for excuse to break and run. didnt want to invest money past the fuel to get there to meet you. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:06:25 AM | | I am wondering why you didn't wait for them before entering the establishment? Had you entered together perhaps they would have been more comfortable ordering. Just my two cents worth! | |
|
| |
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:26:33 AM | Nothing overly strange about it. Wouldn't call them cheap either. I see that fairly often, from both males and females.
However after a couple of hours I would've assumed they would've at least gotten some kind of drink... | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:42:17 AM | | Perhaps the OP was just so engaging, witty, and delightful that the gentlemen in question were completely enthralled and all thoughts of time and place fled their minds. Then again, as someone pointed out, the price of coffee may have been $7 a cup and I know for sure that I'm not paying anyone that price for a cup of boiled bean extract. Also, the time of day might have been a factor. I know many who don't drink coffee (or other caffeine products like tea and sodas) after a certain time. They also might not have been coffeehouse sort of people. I personally don't drink coffee and have no clue as to why it has the mystique and social cachet that it does. I imagine that if the meetings had been in a place that served beer and tasty adult beverages that the gentlemen would probably have ordered something. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:48:37 AM | | ^I agree, I don't drink coffee either and just because I agree to meet at a coffeehouse doesn't mean I'm going to buy a cup. He might've ate some food and had some beverages before heading there, so maybe they were more interested in getting to know you better. | |
|
| |
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:23:33 AM | Even if he was a caffine free kind of guy, I wonder why he didn't order a soda or a juice or something. I would think it was strange if the meeting lasted longer than, say, 30 minutes. Anything less than that, I wouldn't think much of it.
OP, are we talking Starbucks or Perkins type places that you are meeting these guys? | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:30:53 AM | Hmm that is a bit odd.
I don't drink tea or coffee, so order lemonade/juice/whatever and always ask if the lady would like something. I usually pay for all the drinks/nibbles on a first date. After all it's only going to come to £10 or something.
One possibility is they are stretched financially and don't want to be put in that awkward situation. Or maybe they have bladder control issues 
Thanks | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:44:17 AM | No, it is not normal. Why would those guys agree to go to a coffee shop and not get SOMETHING ? It is also rude of them to be taking up a space that should have been occupied by a paying customer. That really irritates me when i go to a coffee shop etc and there are lounge lizzards hanging around doing nothing but reading their books. And i am a paying customer with no place to sit. I think the owner should have a policy in plain view of all customers stating that. You no eat or drink, you no hang out. Go away. That should fix everything.  | |
|
| |
| |
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:01:26 AM | | There were other choices besides caffeine. To me, it comes off as cheap and inconsiderate. There are plenty of places to meet that aren't businesses - we have several parks and museums nearby that are free. Coffee houses are convenient & easy. Like I said, a coffee shop is providing tables and chairs for their customers and it seems cheap and inconsiderate to use their space for an hour or two and not even spend a buck on a cup of tea. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:04:49 AM | | These are not expensive places. I paid a $1.50 for a cup of tea and gave the lady at the counter $.50. Total investment: $2 for a two hour conversation. These guys, by the way - at least two are regular middleclass guys. The first one was strange but the second and third are not. I'm baffled. In the last case, I suggested the place because the guy was in from out of town visiting his daughter for two days and not familiar with the area. In the other two cases *they* suggested the place. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:08:13 AM | | Why I didn't wait: In the first case, the guy was really late. In the second & third - it was cold & raining outside and waiting near the entry would have put me in the smoking area. But I think you've got a good idea. Guys around here seem to like meeting at coffeehouses. If I'm there before they are, I'll just sit at a table and wait. Maybe *I* should start showing up late! But I think that's inconsiderate. | |
|
| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:11:25 AM |
not even spend a buck on a cup of tea
Ahh, only a dollar. So, Dunkin' Donuts and not Starbucks? Jus Dave brings up a good point though. If the behavior is that extraordinary to you, why didn't you just ask them? You stated that each meeting lasted for over a hour, why not ask "Aren't you having anything?" or "Hey, conversation is thirsty business. Aren't you parched?". If it happened three times, then curiosity should have won out. | |
|
Home
login 
