| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:10:02 PM | I have tried newspaper ads that the men have a decent ad. No response or answer just a
no thank you would be okay. Right now all of my relations are married by 34 years old and have children. It s so diffciult at my age men at my age want women in their 20s "I cant beliveve. And me just a dec ent good guy closer to my age. Right now it would take one big miracle in my life. Oh well... At least I have my health. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:31:33 PM | Jennie, I have to disagree with you on this point. I am just a year younger than you, and I have no problems getting dates. Now obviously, as you can see from my picture, I am not drop dead gorgeous super model, and I am also a single mother (which is seen as a strike against me by some men), I smoke (strike two), and I live in the boonies (strike three).
Yet I have been on several dates from here. I think the biggest thing that has made a difference for me has been my attitude.
I know I am a good person, I give of myself without letting others take advantage of me, and just go out and live life everyday with a smile on my face.
Good luck | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:57:21 PM | It is not too hard for me to find a date. It is harder for me to get a 2nd or 3rd one. But that has been my lifes story. The internet just confirms it.  | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:01:13 PM | ....OP,
Speaking for myself... I dont find it any more harder to find dates at 47 than I did at 27... In fact, I might go so far to say that it might even be easier to some degree, I think its due in part to the fact I have a more mature outlook and expectation.
But thats just me......... | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:07:59 PM | I don't believe it's hard to find a date. I do believe it's difficult to find a QUALITY date. I prefer quality over quantity.
just a simple breakdown and i'm not using literal statistics, basically logical guessing:
50% of marriages end in divorce so 50% of population over 40 are single
of that 50%:
20% are sick or have sexually trasmitted diseases. alzeimers is on the rise.
10% are alcoholics or drug abusers
10% are physically abusive
10% cheated on their spouses
6% have never married-commitment phobic or too set in their ways
3% are dating someone of the same sex
3% are pediphiles
3% are sex addicts
3% are mentally ill
3% are unemployed-low figure considering our economy
3% have totally different religious or cultural views
1% are just plain rude and obnoxious. (some of you may be including me at this point)
Total:75% of single over 40 are unavailable! ( I guess i am behaving as a glass half empty kinda person)
None of these catagories I have used are meant to offend anyone. These are just the minimal requirements to finding someone i would consider dating. Please note: Physical attraction, chemestry or the fact that you live in a community with fewer singles is not in the equasion.
The internet, and other singles dating avenues offer annonmity so people feel they can be rude without reprocussions. | |
|
| |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:52:35 PM | can we switch these three a bit?
1% are just plain rude and obnoxious.make this number one.
10% cheated on their spouses, this number two
20% are sick or have sexually trasmitted diseases. alzeimers is on the rise.and this number three!
Hang in there OP there are great people out there...... just think of this as a great filtering system!
Go to POF events,. they are great way to meet people without any pressure. | |
|
| |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 6:33:44 AM | I have to disagree with you; before I met the man I am currently seeing, I had no problem whatsoever getting dates.
It s so diffciult at my age men at my age want women in their 20s "I cant beliveve. And me just a dec ent good guy closer to my age. Right now it would take one big miracle in my life. Oh well... At least I have my health.
The way I see it, you're negative and are setting yourself up for any failure that may come your way.
Adjust your mind set - it can do wonders!
Also remember; like attracts like. Whilst you're being negative, you may just attract a negative man or any man who reads into your negativity. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 6:45:32 AM | | Haha, mn400 is kind of correct. A guy could make a similar breakdown with percentages of women that fall into unflattering categories too though. (materialistic, frigid, uncommunicative, nagging, etc.) | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:42:06 AM | Wow, such condescending views of fellow human beings, by mature adults no less....Maybe thats the whole crux of the problem.
How much of this debasing of the opposite sex is actually helping the OP I wonder?
OP, please don't dwell on the negatives in life, there's always something positive that can be found.
As a 'for instance' Think of all the time you're saving NOT dating.
Time that can be spent bettering yourself. You could learn a new and creative hobby, a foreign language, a musical instrument.
You can get rid of all that pent up sexual energy down at the gym and get fit at the same time.
Yeah, I know the hardest step is finding the motivation to do these things but just think of the possibilities that will await you when you have sky high confidence.
The best of luck | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 12:34:33 PM | | I was married in my 30's, but it is clear that dating in the 40's is alot harder than it was in my teens and 20's. Then again, I made alot mistakes at that age so maybe its better to have less dates ect than to do the same thing over and over expecting different results. | |
|
| |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 2:39:05 PM | Jennie, I am the same age - I've accepted the game is over. As men age they appear to be looking for increasingly younger women and I agree the left overs in our age group can be a pretty sordid and unsavoury crowd to say the least.
I think the future is females sharing housing and expenses, having intelligent conversations and doing outdoor activities with other females unfortunately. Particularly as the men our age are a pretty exhausted lot and increasingly unhealthy from here on. The healthy ones with some brains aren't looking in their own age group and there sure is absolutely no return on those disgusting 10-20 year older codgers that are hitting on us now.
Find a good dog, set yourself to houseshare with others, we don't need to live alone - and it makes for economic living as well. Lets face it, if a female housemate gets ill, at least she knows another female will make her something to eat and the house isn't going to turn into a pigsty, any pets will continue to get fed- not many males can offer decency like that. Good luck, travel, educate and live for number one.
Really after 40 the men are pretty much all diseased, broke, only semi-literate and looking for a housekeeper/nurse. They aren't exactly the stuff of dreams, nor are they going to be much fun to be around. The good ones - aren't looking for the same age group, and their going to be start snuffing it on us in short order anyway. Its not like you can take these decrepit ones on an adventure holiday - they'll probably have heart failure on us. The "40" year olds are most like 10 years older lying through their false teeth as usual. I very much doubt we can expect to meet our equals in intelligence/health or career achievements - and at least dogs won't only offer stds, at least a dog will offer companionship. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 2:48:00 PM | Wow, I m not quite 40 yet, but should I be worried? Nah, there is a difference between being lonely and alone, and I lik emy company.
When you look too hard, your expectations are too high, and you set yourself up to fail..have some fun, and stop "stereo-typing" 40-Please!! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 2:58:26 PM | Tinker-
I dont think OP was stereotyping on purpose, but u are hot and from FLA, so the rules are different. 
But everything else is right on. Alone is not necessarily lonely. All that takes is some hobbies that I am passionate in. Easy.
The trying to hard and having unrealist expectations- thats where the having some people willing to slap me in the head and saying get over yourself helps. I had one female friend respond to one of my 'whoa is me' moments with a 'shut up dude, you just stopped dating someone 5 weeks ago, i could do that standing on my head. '
and Remember OP, feelings are not necessarily fact. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:00:07 PM | | Actually I think it's easier to find a date after 40. Maybe it's just because I'm more confidant and comfortable now, not to mention less picky. The hard part is finding the time. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:50:12 PM | | I'm 47 and don't find it hard....offline or online I don't seem to have nay trouble getting dates.....in fact I think it's a lot easier than when I was in my 20's.....maybe it's just me.......... | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:59:41 PM | I'm the same age as the poster, but getting a date hasn't been much of a problem, so far. Wanting to see someone for a second date is a different story.
I guess I'm kinda like poop... the older I get the easier I am pick up!
Strangerstill,
I'm sure you hear this all the time (and probably never tire of it), but my oh my, what a big c0ck you have! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:28:52 PM | I don't find this stereotypical, I find it rather amusing...
Comparing availability to date to poop.... Now that's classic!
But I think the best one yet is coming from the lady up there who said ... and I quote:
"20% are sick or have sexually trasmitted diseases. alzeimers is on the rise."
I've heard of going blind if you touch it too much, but Alzheimer's?
As I said before... Amusing! 
E | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 3/31/2008 6:43:09 PM | Yes Alzheimers is on the rise, because the men are living longer........actually I think they kinda start pretty early on the symptoms, its not necessarily an old age onset..... | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:33:29 AM |
Really after 40 the men are pretty much all diseased, broke, only semi-literate and looking for a housekeeper/nurse. They aren't exactly the stuff of dreams, nor are they going to be much fun to be around. The good ones - aren't looking for the same age group, and their going to be start snuffing it on us in short order anyway. Its not like you can take these decrepit ones on an adventure holiday - they'll probably have heart failure on us. The "40" year olds are most like 10 years older lying through their false teeth as usual. I very much doubt we can expect to meet our equals in intelligence/health or career achievements - and at least dogs won't only offer stds, at least a dog will offer companionship.
Gee, thanks for telling me everything I'm NOT! Some non-decrepit ones are here looking for a compatible woman our age. But maybe I should try emailing the 20-somethings because women in their late 30s/40s never reply, even though I have all my 'stuff' together (and I really am 42 with my own teeth).
And BTW - how do you know the dog won't offer STDs - do you know where he's been? | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:03:36 AM | | I don't think turning 40 has been limiting my dating ability...it's that I now know what I want and I am sticking to that. Most of the women I know around my age are the same way. Each one wants the next one to be 'it'...so they are far more cautious in who they date. And when they have a hard time finding what they want in their age group, they look younger or older. It just happens to be most of the time it's men looking younger for someone with more energy, a younger look and less commitment. Women seem to desire more maturity, stability and refinement. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:07:42 AM | strangerstill says:
"Actually I think it's easier to find a date after 40. Maybe it's just because I'm more confidant and comfortable now, ..."
... and I agree. I am an old f@rt now and know myself better than I ever did, my health is holding out pretty well, as for my mind I am no more insane than I was when young.
.
But there's a problem. Women that I encounter who grew up in past decades expect to be wooed and I flatly refuse to do that stuff. I state what I desire and respond to others who state what they desire. I do not pursue or strive to persuade people like a pushy salesman selling a product. Unfortunately a lot of older women seem to live by the rules they grew up with, such as "men call women but women don't call men." I have no time for that attitude. Younger women are free from that - why do older women assume that life is still the way it was when they were in high school? | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:24:48 AM | I'm 51 and I don't find it any harder now to get a date than when I was in my twenties.
What's "hard" for me is that I can't seem to be interested enough to even want to go on a date in the first place.
And that's why I've had not single/not looking on my profile since last July. The word apathy seems to want to rear its ugly
little head in here somewhere....lol!
Seriously, I do hate to think I've become apathetic about my own self...but then I think...bah...who cares?
Don't give up OP...stay positive and be pro-active...go out and join a club, enroll yourself in a dance class ...or why not
take a wood working class or one where you learn how to operate power tools...go somewhere or do something where
the "guys" like to hang out...nudge nudge wink wink.
Good luck to you OP:) 
JMO | |
|
Home
login 
