| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:30:44 AM | Well I have been broken up with my boyfriend for about a month and a half now and I just found out that after a week that we were broken up my best friend was dating him, I asked if she had been seeing him while we were dating and she said she didn't have feelings for him.......
what should I do forgive her or forget her? | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:33:29 AM |
I asked if she had been seeing him while we were dating and she said she didn't have feelings for him.......
So, do you mean she wasn't dating him whilst he was seeing you, too?
Either way, forget about it. He's now your Ex for whatever reason, so why would you feel bad?
If that's the case, you clearly still feel emotionally attached to him. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:38:39 AM | | yeh but the thing is her being a best friend shouldn't have even gone after him in the first place!!! | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:40:00 AM |
yeh but the thing is her being a best friend shouldn't have even gone after him in the first place!!!
Ok, but did she 'go after him' when you and your BF had broken up, or before you broke up? | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:43:36 AM | I see.
Either way, I can appreciate what you may feel, however, if she did indeed break-up with him after your break, let it go. I don't see the point in being upset about it unless as I said before, you do still feel some emotional attachment toward him. That, itself, may take some time to work out of your system anyway. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:49:49 AM | | Be angry wioth your friend for not asking for your permisionbefore dating him. There si a code of dating someone's ex's. And tat is that you respect your friend's wishes. Now if she dated him while oyu were dating him. Or if he was cheating on you with your best friend while you were dating him then hat ethem both and have ntohing mroe to do with either of them. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:49:59 AM | | I'm a bit confused, do you mean she didn't have feelings for him while you were dating, or she doesn't have feelings for him now that she's dating him? It would be better if you could be a bit more specific. As far as I can see, it isn't a crime to go out with your friends x boyfriend, but it would depend on the circumstances. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:52:46 AM | | she said while him and I were dating she didn't have feelings for him.....see I think just the person I am I would NEVER go after my best friends boyfriend out of respect.......I told her to put herself in my shoes and if I dated one of her ex's how would she feel she said she would prob kill me.... I gave her the option him or me and she picked him!!! | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:54:39 AM | I asked if she had been seeing him while we were dating and she said she didn't have feelings for him.......
She also didn't answer your question, she deflected it away leaving YOU with the impression that she wasn't seeing him while you were together.
I agree with msg 8.
Since she didn't ask, she's not really your best friend.
Since your him or me alternative "she picked him" then you have your answer... she's not your best friend... never was, never will be again.
Find forgiveness in your heart, wish them both truly well and be done with the whole thing... | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:57:57 AM | | I mean if she would have came up to me and said you know i have feelings for him do you mind if I start dating him I would have thought about it but since she did it behind my back it just hurts that much more | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:58:29 AM | With a friend like this, who needs enemies? This just isn't done....period. 'Nuff said.  | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:59:01 AM | I told her to put herself in my shoes and if I dated one of her ex's how would she feel she said she would prob kill me.... I gave her the option him or me and she picked him!!
Oh, well, there you go then. It's all said and done - you have them both out of your life which may or may not be a good thing. Only you can decide.
Let it go in this case - no need to live in the past. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:06:50 AM | Let me get this straight.
You break up with a guy.
You have no more interest in him.
You could care less about what he does.
Your bgf starts seeing him a week later behind your back.
And you get hurt because she violated your
best friends don't do that without permission rule?
Are you hurt because she is seeing him or because she
didn't ask for your permission before seeing him?
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:13:12 AM | Adam...easy on the beer....you're not making much sense.
O.P. I've been on both sides of that table...lovers turn into friends, friends turn into lovers. As long as there was no overlap with him as far as you and your friend goes, I see no problem with it. It may be somewhat awkward, but should he not date her just because you know each other? | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:25:24 AM | | I have to agree with Forevermine84. I think a TRUE best friend wouldnt do that to a friend. I know none of my good friends would. I would have to say that she really is not your best friend, but someone who you THOUGHT was your best friend. I just think its a code of ethics and respect. Theres so many single people in this world and its amazing how the vultures (both men and women) do this a lot. To me it doesnt matter whether you still have feelings for the guy or not. I dont know how long you were with him but If you were with him very briefly that might be a little different. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:29:16 AM | "see I think just the person I am I would NEVER go after my best friends boyfriend out of respect......."
From what you said he wan't your boyfriend any more, so she didn't go after your BF she went after your exBF.
The only issue I would have with this situation is that she didn't talk to you before she did it.
My view on it is if my bestfriend and an ex of mine hit it off and were able to make eachother happy then thats great.
Everyone needs to remember that they are an ex for a reason and not a piece of property that belongs only to you even after your done with it. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:29:50 AM |
I asked if she had been seeing him while we were dating and she said she didn't have feelings for him......
I'd have to, personal opinion only!, say that sounds like a crock.
I mean, how can you "not have feelings" for someone, and then be dating them a week after the two of you broke up? Most people's feelings aren't like a "light switch", off and then suddenly on in a moment.
And yeah, as a "friend" I think at the least she should have asked you first how you'd feel about it... if it was a couple years later, you were well past it, maybe... but a week? That sounds rather disrespectful for someone I'd consider a "friend". | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:38:23 AM | | I don't think of him as my property anymore and I never did think of him as my property he is a person not a house.......but I just think that after I have cared and loved for him and shared certain things with him that I really don't want my friend sharing those same things with him I know she wouldn't like it if I dated someone that she at one time loved | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:40:05 AM | Forever, Is your control issue so strong that you get to tell others what they should and shouldn't do? (msg 3)
a best friend shouldn't have even gone after him | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:41:11 AM | | OP, you are still young, but at 23 years old I knew that dating a friend's ex is taboo. This is ground for the friendship to end. I have seen girlfriends come and go in my circle of friends for this very reason. | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:46:46 AM | Lets consider the cost and benefit here.
The benefit to you (Forever) is that you get to hold onto your ideas of what friends and ex-friends are allowed to do.
The cost is that you have lost two friends.
Is it worth it? | |
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| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:58:34 AM | Dump said friend, OP. She doesn't appear to care if you have feelings or not.
I wouldn't trust anything she tells you; sounds to me she was interested all along. Noone dates a friend's ex one week after they split if they're completely neutral. It's not the done thing. | |
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