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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:04:56 PM | are the requirements for love becoming to high?
with the society changing more and more to exclude strength for succes, but to add natural beauty and charisma as a bigger slice in the pie, is the gap between natural selection becoming wider, and much harder to attain.
im seeing people with huge checklists on there profile and in real life that only 10% of the total population could compete with, but more so most these checklists are the same. are people with minor problems with health, education, being used to the poor life and shy stuck to a lesser life of chasing after the unattainable. or bye the time people attain what is said to be the prime cut, they have lived past the prime, where now everyone is set out and married or stuck with a haunting past and affected bye it. the last in line for love sort of feeling.
if anyone feels interested in debating this feel free. i just want to hear other peoples thoughts on this. its been a debate in my mind for a long time. | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:15:12 PM | Lists are for people who need a quick excuse to bail.
I mean really ! He is too short, she is too fat, he talks too much, she whines, he is bald, she has small boobs, he doesn't smile, she always complains.....
People have stopped living. They are shopping.
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:19:16 PM | | Indeed king, I have come to notice this too lately and I cannot seem to meet a lot of the requirements on this long checklist so I just keep on coming back for the forums mainly now. But I don't see how it is that so many on here expect to find the "one" if there is such an extensive checklist. I see it is happening, but don't see how. | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:21:31 PM | Its never okay to hit anyone. If you hit someone you should give them full authority to them to hit you back. I personally believe that some women should be charged with assualt. For example my cousins ex girlfriend smashed a full closed beer bottle over his head and he got a huge black eye from it. She should have been charged. Most of the time people hit others over name calling which is sign of immaturity.
Its always wrong to hit someone unless you are doing so in defense of yourself or a loved one. There isnt much to debate here. Women have no right to hit anyone regardless of what name they are called or how big of an ***hole hes being.
I recall being hit by one of my exes. I simply picked her up carried her to the door and plopped her outside and closed the door. She sat on the porch crying for quite some time before leaving. She hit me a few times actually all in the same instance. I called her a **** and she started swinging. It was wrong of me to call her a name but at the same time it was even more wrong for her to hit me because of it.
No women should not be allowed to hit people and if they hit anyone. Especially not someone much bigger and stronger than them. Thats just stupidity at its finest. | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:22:56 PM | lol wrong thread.
Peoples standards are set rather high on this site. Most of those people come across as demanding. Most people should look for two things intially to ensure success. Kindness and honesty. | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:35:33 PM | | I have a rather small checklist but the things on it are big. You know, like respect. It'd be so much easier if everyone had only one or two big things, wouldn't it? | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 11:59:09 PM | save the checklists for grocery shopping
although this does seem like a meet market :P :P | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 12:00:34 AM | | Or for some... a not..meet market...? | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 12:41:12 AM |
Or for some... a not..meet market...?
sometimes its hard to get your order filled | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 2:23:02 AM |
I mean really ! He is too short, she is too fat, he talks too much, she whines, he is bald, she has small boobs, he doesn't smile, she always complains.....
People have stopped living. They are shopping.
Very well said!
.....and usually when someone contacts me and they have one of those lists, I give it a pass. Most of the time I find something that disqualifies me, so why did they contact me in the first place? | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 2:25:16 AM |
I have a rather small checklist but the things on it are big. You know, like respect. It'd be so much easier if everyone had only one or two big things, wouldn't it?
Hmmmmm......maybe I'd better rethink my own profile. lol
I have things like, you know how to play well together,you know how to problem solve together, you're a happy man.......
......it's beginning to sound like a checklist. lol | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 2:32:20 AM | | Some of the checklist items are okay. Maybe you don't want to date a smoker. Or you want someone your own age. But I never contact anyone, where there qualifications are longer and more detailed, then there actually about me portion of their profile. I think people might be missing out on the ONE...If all they look for are faults. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 5:44:21 AM | Msg 1,
People seem to constantly want to improve themselves. This may be by diversifying one's interests, to become more worldy or well-rounded. This may also be by specializing on a particular interest, to become really good at something in particular. As time goes on, people tend to become more worldy/ well-rounded, and at the same time, more specialized doing particular things.
We start as babies that look alike, hard to tell one from the other .. progress to become differentiated adolescents, seeking-out individual tracks in life .. and result as fully-grown adults, with varied skillsets and life experiences, and we don't stop there. As adults, we don't seem to want to stop improving ourselves. We tell ourselves not to stop, not to give-up, not to settle.
As we constantly try to improve ourselves, polish ourselves, perfect ourselves .. our vision of a perfect mate becomes more refined. Our checklists becomes more worldy and more specialized. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:00:50 AM | And when you've been through it all the only requirements are walking and breathing. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:03:07 AM | | I agree with this post. It has been something I have noticed for a while now, and I'm glad to see other people notice it too. I have said in previous posts that people seem to be becoming less human. They seem animalistic and robotic. A good heart, honesty and loyalty seem to mean nothing to many. They choose a mate based on some materialistic/social trendy check list. And then those relationships seem to crash and burn anyway. Everyone is seeking perfection, yet they themselves are far less than perfect. They are all going out and choosing mates with the same shallow mentality and foiled checklist as they have.. And then cry that they are unhappy.. So what does that tell you.. This checklist thing isn't working, it's making people choose partners based on superficial cosmetic things.. Rather than on things that should matter most. For a society that toots it's horn about being so smart and educated, we sure are doing some wonderfully stupid things. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:03:46 AM | The current mindset promoted by dating advocates is that you must have somewhat of a checklist. If you don't know who you want, who does? Only you know what it is about a person that makes you attracted to them, and while granted,, many of the checklists are too detailed the common theory is,, eliminate 20 percent of what is on your list and if a person has 80 percent of the qualities you are looking for that could be the one for you. Dating is so unlike it was in high school, which was the last time I actually dated. The internet does make it easier for people to be selective, but it also makes it easier for individuals to feel safe in that people don't have to commit if they don't want. they cans stay safe and sound in front of their computer screen.
I see both sides of the coin but I am sticking to my list making, I will scratch off what I need to but I am not willing to settle for a person that is less than what it takes to make us both happy. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:05:45 AM |
stuck with a haunting past and affected bye it. the last in line for love sort of feeling
I am not stuck or haunted. I am however smarter in how I love another person. And I am also smarter in what is a healthy relationship and what isn't.
Checklists....I don't have one. I do have certain behaviors that I watch for, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes of the past. But that is being wise. If you do not look at the past, you are bound to repeat the same mistakes.
I take everyone at face value, and judge them solely on their actions and behaviors. Nothing more. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:05:55 AM | i think i have a rather small check list..... #1 he has to be attractive to me.....#2 he has to be respectful...#3 Reliable.....if you say you are going to do something, DO IT!...which leads to #4....HONESTY........
without those 4 things i wont go any further, and if you lie to me just ONCE...you are done!.....I dont take ANY mans shit......and men shouldn't take any womans shit either.....
and last but not least.... i could care less how much money you make, so long as you can pay your own bills. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:17:35 AM |
LOL! I guess this leaves ME out! 
And when you've been through it all the only requirements are walking and breathing.
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:19:42 AM | I think the OP is the devil trying to trick people into settling, which we know leads to hell.
If we listen, we will all be paired up with partners that torment us like demons would.
It's got the mark of the beast all over it. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 6:30:29 AM | | ^^^^ I'm sure it's no coincidence that it's called settling down, and not settling up. Many women are contradictory of this point, however, saying they want a man who's ready to settle down, but the very presence of this item on their checklist leads to the inevitable conclusion that they themselves are trying to settle up. Again, the work of the devil. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 7:00:25 AM | | You mean the one that wants the good guy after sleeping around going for the bad boys in their 'wild phase'? Yeah, it happens. Everyone wants the best of both worlds it seems. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 7:24:05 AM | I only have two requirements.
Must have two arms and three legs
Must be breathing
Seriously I think people have a vision of who they want only to spend a lifetime trying to turn their vision into reality.
Love holds no bars.....Once cupid lines up the arrow and shoots.....your gone! | |
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