| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:06:52 AM | We all have our skeletons. At what point do you come clean? I'm sure that most people my age are not concerned, nor care, with the fact that there is a some sort of history with themselves or others. I look for someone that fits my outlook on life.
I guess what I'm asking is ....Do you hide your thoughts, of bring them to the forefront? | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:31:17 AM | I would have to think it would all depend on just what those "thoughts" were! 
I think it is unwise just download your entire closet on some poor unsuspecting victim, but then again, over time, you should share certain aspects of your past in order to enrich the relationship. OK, so did I answer your question correctly OP? I wasn't quite sure what your question was. Then again, I am a tad bit slow today! | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:07:47 AM | | That last line in my post wasn't quite clear. What I ment was, when do you start to open up?...We all hide things that may not be attractive to others. I'm not the type of person that hides who I am, but on the other hand I want to put my best foot forward. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:24:04 AM | I am not quite sure if I am understanding your question correctly OP, but here are my thoughts.
I usually give a overall view of who and what I am, to whomever I am dating.
I don't hide anything intentionally. If asked questions, I answer honestly.
Yes, people do like to present themselves in a flattering way, but I am just one of those weird people who want someone who will like and love me, flaws and all; to achieve that goal, I am brutally honest about myself - the good and the bad equally. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:32:42 AM | | Everything in your life is your business - however while in a relationship you should be completely honest! That doesn't mean you have to divulge the entirety of your life - but when asked - be honest! Most things are on a need to know basis and you don't have to go into complete details - but the truth is better than a lie! | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:39:08 AM | I know I am upfront and don't hide anything...I don't "unload" but I bring the "finer"points to the table and the "not so finer"then at a later date I have no problem expanding on them... I guess what I'm trying to say is if you did 5 to 10 for armed robbery or something like that...well maybe you should be up front and honest...and not BS your way thru that...on the other hand if you took a candy bar when you were a kid it really doesn't matter
One rule of thumb is how would you feel if some one didn't tell you the truth...it sucks
JMHO | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 1:10:22 PM | Honesty is great but I really dont see the need to share all kinds of things with every-one. I am a private person, and like to have some things just that, private.
If and when I ever meet some-one that I am in a committed and close relationship with, then communicating and sharing everything is of the utmost importance....but until then, prefer to keep some privacy ( or mystery, lol ) | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:18:06 PM | I think honesty always....not blurting out.....but if asked truth should be told its just common sense...for crying out loud.....and you have something of illegal issues especially if it's a felony well yes sure I'd like to know this up front, before it gets any farther,then the decision to go any further, should be reached together....really not making any sense is it.....suffice to say it happened to me................
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 5:47:07 PM |
Honesty is great but I really dont see the need to share all kinds of things with every-one. I am a private person, and like to have some things just that, private.
If and when I ever meet some-one that I am in a committed and close relationship with, then communicating and sharing everything is of the utmost importance....but until then, prefer to keep some privacy ( or mystery, lol )
I agree with Browser... irrespective of the fact she is a "Packers" fan. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/3/2008 5:52:59 PM | I believe in honesty at ALL times...however if some asks me a question that I am not comfortable answering or is not relevent....then I have no problem asking why they want to know and if I do not like their answer I have no problem telling them that at this time it is none of their concern at THIS time. Later on it could quite probably be relevent and I would tell them.
jmho | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:00:13 PM | | My personal feeling is you should ALWAYS be honest. As pointed out if someone asks a question you don't want to answer just tell them we will talk about that later. As time goes on I usually divulge more about myself...but certainly not in the first few dates. Gotta keep some things private | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:10:24 PM | Simple question really.
You should be totally honest. That doesn't mean that you have to answer every single question on the first date. I think anybody is free to simply say "I don't know you well enough to divulge that information right now" and be respected for saying so.
However B.S. is simply a nice term for lying, and that is never appropriate. And if you lie to me, when I find out (and the truth always comes out) then it's hasta la vista baby!!!! goodbye!!!
my dos centavos. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:30:28 PM | | While I have no patience for liars I also have no patience for people who feel the need to unload their entire history/problems after a couple of dates. Scares me off it does. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:05:46 PM | Well now if someone is gonna BS me while we are dating they might as well BS themselves right on down the highway!
If your gonna BS someone your dating then why bother dating anyone!
Be honest or don't date anyone !
As BS for me stands for >>BYE SWEETS<<<
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:25:45 PM | | Iagree with most of the posters here that getting to know another in a slow and honest way is best. Yet I would like to add that with really important issues that would greatly impact a future relationship the truth should be given as soon as posible or the other person may view the witholding of information as dishonesty. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:02:56 PM | I don't think on a first meeting or date, I'm going to spill my guts on the past, medical history, blah blah blah... That comes when you are ready to take things to the next level and date exclusively and be in a relationship...then I would slowly bring things out in the open. For me it's a trust thing and I have feel comfortable and know that that person won't judge me.
But from the beginning, I'm always honest and as open as I can. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:51:12 AM | Honesty is always best.
You draw the line when your comment or disclosure will ruin someone's day, and they won't be able to recover for the next few month. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:27:43 PM |
Do you hide your thoughts, of bring them to the forefront?
You don't hide your thoughts. You reveal them in everything you say and do and how you say and do them. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:41:57 PM |
I guess what I'm asking is ....Do you hide your thoughts, or bring them to the forefront?
I think hiding is not as drastic as BS. However, honesty is the way to go but it should be tempered by timing. If its a life altering skeleton - one should look for a good opportunity to disclose it sooner rather than later. Although I have no life altering skeletons - if I had one I think I would tell her on a 2nd date. Afterall, we should all be considerate of each other's time - its only respectful. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/15/2008 5:31:15 PM | I don't have a horrid past in a criminal, or life-altering/affecting way, but I have been through some heartbreaking things that pain me deeply to this day, so I don't speak of them often. If I get real close to someone, I'll eventually disclose bits and pieces, but then ask that we respectfully don't discuss them again.
Oddly enough, I've blurted some of it out in the forums, rather contradictory to what I just said above. But there seems to be a level of safety (and maybe inherent therapeutic benefit to me?) in the anonymity of saying something to strangers (whom I'll likely either never meet, or if we do, won't remember what I babbled about in the forums), at a time I get to choose that's right for me, and of the level of detail I'm comfortable with, at that particular moment.
Great grammar, huh? lol
I do think people are entitled to keep some things to themselves, as long as it is not of a deceitful nature.
hnh
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:00:18 PM | I once tried something new with a person I just started dating.
I told him 3 of my worst faults and asked if he could live with them. Then I asked him what his 3 worst faults were. He thought, and thought, and thought, and then replied 'I can't find any.'
I never went out with him again.
The above is a true story. | |
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| Honesty? or BS?...Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:25:12 AM | Thoughts are thoughts. I'm sure that at some point we have all had some thoughts that were less then stellar. Why share and embarass yourself?
If the thoughts are connected to something that is current in your life and affect how you operate in your life, thats different. They will be more than evident or at least questioned anyways.
As for the tangible parts of your past that will affect or possibly become an issue in your future, then bring them up when appropriate.
Personally, a persons past has made them who they are right now. If I like that person as they are right now, isn't that enough? Do I really NEED to know every single thing? | |
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