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Posted: 4/4/2008 1:37:01 PM | My ex & I have a son in common. We broke up almost 2 years ago that's not here nor there. I recently found out that a friend (his friend- female)was under the impression that he hung out at her store(couple of times a week) until it was time to come visit his son, when we were together & had been living together at that point almost 12 years. They have been friends for about 17 years. I don't understand the lie???? they were only freinds but thinking maybe not. she was married at the time and he had me. Left him because he cheated but hate to think he was cheating from the get go.... that would so suck... My question is why the lie? what would it mean except to say he was single? or some other reason? just wondering & wondering & wondering
Thank guys & gals that respond | |
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 1:46:55 PM | say what?
OP, would you like to try that post again, in complete sentences that make sense. I have read your post 3 times and it does not make any sense. Is there a question in all of that? | |
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 1:50:45 PM | Could anyone tell me why so many posters on POF are unable to write coherent posts?
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 1:51:12 PM | Op:
I, too, cannot make nor tail out of your question (??) ...perhaps you should repost and start again.
What you wrote makes NO sense at all to many readers!
'puzzled look on face right about now'
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:07:47 PM | Truely a case of too much info and it obscures your question.
I think what you're asking is if we think he was screwing around while you were married. If so all you can do is ask him for a straight answer. | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 2:09:31 PM |
just wondering & wondering & wondering
We all are, op... we all are.... wondering & wondering & wondering ...
Please try again:)
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:16:35 PM | Really, OP, nobody can tell you except for him, and he has no reason to tell you the truth.
Whatever it was, it was. He is gone from your life, and why do you really want to know if he cheated from day one? That would just mean you lost a bigger portion of your life - instead of having some good and some bad years, it would make the whole thing bad. You are better off leaving this one a mystery. | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 2:38:39 PM | | I'm a bit baffled OP, what do you mean when you say his friend was under the impression that he hung out in her store untill it was time to visit his son? If he was with you at the time, why would he have to visit, and if this friend has been seing him since the beginning, surely she would know this? | |
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| I have question?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:08:56 PM |
I recently found out that a friend (his friend- female)was under the impression that he hung out at her store(couple of times a week) until it was time to come visit his son, when we were together & had been living together at that point almost 12 years. They have been friends for about 17 years. I don't understand the lie????
So, your husband was hanging out at this woman's place of work, claiming he was single and only in the neighborhood to visit his son ?
That would suck.
Sounds like he has been trolling for a very long time, and most likely has been successful more than once or twice.. It is a skill that some people hone.
The simple fact is that the two of you are no longer together, and this pain you feel means you are not over this relationship.
Good luck.
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Posted: 4/4/2008 3:13:57 PM | So... from what I understand... you're saying that from the start, he was hanging around her store... telling her that he was single.
Yeah... so he was a cheater from the get go.
Sorry, but that's just how it is. | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 3:21:33 PM | So just because he hung out at her store a couple of times a week. He's known her for 17 years thats a damn long time. No matter how old the person is. He went by to see a friend he's known that long twice a week. What do you expect someone to see a friend once a year. What's acceptable once a month, twice a month?
Yes the possibility of a affair is there but I've been in the "friends zone" and I know unless something drastic happens thats all they were.
Best of luck to ya  | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 3:42:57 PM | | First lets give a group thank you to albino dino for translating that question into a form the rest of us could understand. as for your question since by your words he was hanging around the store that doesnt really mean he was cheating then as to the single coment maybe he just felt whoever asked it that it was none of their business, one last question what kind of store is it because that could make a big diffrence also in why and how long he hung out there. if say its a book or coffee shop that makes sense if its a store for womens clothing then that might not make sense | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 8:50:01 PM | Hieroglyphics!!
Store?
Someone in store?
Store in someone?
Lying in store?
Storing in lye?
Pharaoh need a beer!
[maybe drink LYE instead] | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 8:58:08 PM |
So, your husband was hanging out at this woman's place of work, claiming he was single and only in the neighborhood to visit his son ?
DUDE!!!!!
Albino is officially my hero, starting NOW... for figuring out that message.
*whacks Albino with the ManBat and drag him to her dungeon... there is always space for smart ones*
OP, don't know if he was cheating back then... but, seems like he was not telling the truth.
Unless that lady is not telling the truth retroactively.
He is ex by now, right? So... who cares?
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Posted: 4/4/2008 9:07:47 PM | For 17 freakin YEARS he was hanging out in her store pretending to be single & visiting his son?
I still don't get the question. With exactly the amount of respect due the OP, are you asking if he was screwing her that whole time? Ummm, if he was, he is some James Bond type for you to never suspect, and how would we know if you didn't? As others have said, who the hell cares? It's over, he's gone. Live your life.
If it's really eating you up, though, OP, you know how people say that by the time a criminal is convicted, he's probably committed dozens of crimes and got away with them? Same deal.
Umm Red, you wouldn't have a smart one in there that you can spare, would you? | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 9:12:19 PM | So, he knew her 5 years before you married him? Do they have a son he was visiting? WTH???
Me no smart one.
~ds~ | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 10:18:52 PM | | He only went twice a week. You sure bout that? | |
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Posted: 4/4/2008 10:32:56 PM | | Why worry?????? You cant do anything about it now. Why waste time on something so inconsequential in your life at this point??? | |
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Posted: 4/5/2008 12:48:14 AM | OP,
I knew a "cheater" like that.
Saying your "single" is just a way of "cheating".
Sounds like they were doing major "cheating". | |
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Posted: 4/6/2008 10:52:11 AM | Ok sorry about how the question was written been stressed
Question was why lie about not living with mother of your child if "this lady was just friend" and he knew her for so many years?
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I could understand if it was a new "friend" and wanted to be more than a friend. I have no problem with guys having female friends.. But after catching him cheating on me for the 3rd time in 3 years, I would just be sick to think it was from basically the beginning.
Again sorry i try not to post , because i hate looking like an idiot. | |
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Posted: 4/6/2008 11:00:55 AM | I know it's stupid to want to know "WHY" the lie . Hate to think I wasted 12 years ( compared to just the last years of the dying relationship) . It still pisses me off!!!!
Just when I think it's dead and buried something crawls out of the grave.
thanks to all of you. next time well leave code book with post | |
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Posted: 4/6/2008 12:31:51 PM | Instead of living through the pain of each and every new discovery,
why don't you just assume he was cheating with her, from seventeen years ago? (maybe you should go and TALK to her ! )
Also it would be wise to assume he has slept with three of your best friends and possibly your sister and maybe even one of your nieces.
He isn't a quality dude, and you do not have to feel guilty and stupid just because you did not see it, and you wanted to believe in truth, honesty and the American Dream.
A cheating person does make the rounds.
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Posted: 4/6/2008 5:32:02 PM | I'm sorry to say this, because I know you don't want to believe it...but if you caught him three times in three years, how many times did you NOT catch him? You have to figure that he got away with it a whole lot more than he got caught. And if this chick believed him for all those years, she's dumb as a brick, but that's neither here nor there.
Do like the others said, don't let this worry you too much. Just chalk him up to a valuable lesson learned and move on with your life. | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 12:54:35 PM | | i satrting talking to this guy josh and he is in the army and his profile says he wants long term relationship and so do i.but my friend said that your not really couple until we meet the first night we started talking he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes i thought if we talk on the computer and write letters to eachother until we meet that is ok but the question is would i need to wait to see him to officaily be a couple?my one friend said if he really wants to be your boyfriend he will meet asap.i really care for this guy and don't want to mess anything up? | |
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