| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/4/2008 7:54:59 PM | I was just curious about this. I am 43 and do not have any children. Do women automatically assume that I dont like children or that their must be something wrong with me? Ever since I was a young adult I have always wanted at least one child but it just didnt happen. I was only married once and very briefly and it just wasnt meant to be in any relationship I have been in. The only reason I would like some feedback is because recently I was talking to a woman in her 40s who has children looked at me almost shocked when I told her I didnt have any. I love children and I know its not too late but at this point in my life its an option but not a requirement for me. Do some women hesitate to get involved with a guy my age who doesnt have children thinking I wont be able to understand the bond between a mother and her child/children?  | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:38:48 PM | One of the reasons I date younger men is they are most often free of any children commitment. Mine is grown and gone. I don't want little ones in the picture. I love kids, but getting close to them, then breaking up sucks. Been there, done that.
The only thing that worries me with an older guy with no kids, is many still want to have kids, they are holding onto hope that they'll meet a woman to have children with. Well, that won't be me. So those I'd be hesitant to date and I've been through that scenario with a few men near my age. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:45:47 PM | | I totally understand not wanting to be with a guy who still wants kids raiderfan18, and thats why I always let it be known that it is not a requirement for me, just an option. I am at the age where if I am with a woman in her thirties it is still a possibility but if she is in her 40s the chances get slimmer and I dont want to be with a woman just because she can still produce children. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:53:40 PM | I think communication is really crucial. If you are absolutely certain, that is great.
If there is any doubt in your mind at all about what you really want, you need to settle your mind before discussing it with any woman you want to form a relationship with.
I wont change my mind, it is not negotiable. If I get involved with anyone, I want him to be as sure as I am about that.
Most women our age have children, so there are a lot of variables. I think childless people are a real minority. I know I have been on the receiving end of some pretty harsh snap judgements about childless women. I am sure its similar for a man, too. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:30:09 AM | | In the past year I have found it very common place for men to be never married and no kids so I dont think your alone in this club OP. For me personally its a red flag as I dont think a person who has never felt the commitment of marriage and kids could ever integrate easily into my world however, I never say never. I like to think that I would never pass up a potentially good relationship by closing off my mind to the possibility. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:43:41 AM | | I can understand where you are coming from shelz1214, with me though I Have been married and grew to love a very special ex stepdaughter. Thats what I mean about women assuming a guy doesnt understand a bond between a mother and her child/children. If I was a woman and a man didnt have any experience or understanding in a situation where there are children involved, it would be a red flag for me too though. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:45:46 AM | | I don't think less of them-I think they were smart enough to use protection, if they didn't feel like procreating. Not everyone is destined to be a parent, and not everyone that HAS children is very good at it. So why fault someone who does not want to make that a part of their life? | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:02:08 AM |
I was just curious about this. I am 43 and do not have any children.
YAY! Good for you.
Do women automatically assume that I dont like children or that their must be something wrong with me?
Quite the opposite. I tend to automatically assume that there's something wrong with anyone who has children... | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:40:13 PM | If he was never married, I'd think he was just somehow unmarriable--otherwise, why would he still be single?
But not having kids, nah, there are a lot of worthwhile reasons for that (infertility, perhaps never having the right space in time for such a big step, career focus, money issues, etc.) | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:48:38 PM | ^^^I don't agree with this - why wouldn't someone be single at any age? To think he was either incapable of marriage or defective would be based on MY assumption that people should be...and that's just not the case. It's based on each individual's plan in life what they do or don't do.
I am almost 40 and single without children, and don't ever plan on getting married or having any. To me it would depend on why - but I'd pretty much assume that he was a smart guy who knew he didn't want to get married (or take it lightly) or have children, and stuck to his guns about it. Then again it's because I did the same thing that I would look at it that way.
I wouldn't worry about people who think you should have or do anything by a certain age. It's not a requirement of life to have a marriage or kids under your belt by 40, unless that's what you specifically want for yourself. Take it as a nice early warning sign to avoid if anyone does judge you in that way, chances are they aren't someone you'd want to date anyway. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:17:59 PM | | children, no children it doesn't matter to me. it's not the children that make the man but it is the man that contributes to the makings of a child. if he doesn't have any kids and doesn't plan on having any of his own then i'm cool with that. other than that, my baby making days are long over with. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:33:26 PM | No, I don't think any less of a man who does not have children. If by chance they don't want children, it's simple, don't have them, that seems more true to one's self than for someone to bring unwanted children into this world.
I've never had the desire for children. I am "child free". When I married in the late 1970's, I was looked at as freakish for not wanting to have kids. I'm vocal about it. Then, I found out that I couldn't have them. As far as dating goes, I won't date fellas with kids under age 18. | |
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