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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:13:38 PM | I happen to know several men who, when they were young, had the world by its tail. They were good-looking, successful, well-educated, well-traveled, lots of fun, with great personalities. They could have any woman they wanted. And they wanted a lot of them. Usually, the party girls--meaning very pretty but not very serious about life, the kind of girl you want to "date" but not marry.
Now that these men are older (mid 40's to late 40s), they want to find a nice girl, settle down and have a couple of kids.
Here's the problem. Their value has fallen. Now they are older, balding, one has IBS, one was in a profession that was extrememly well paying back then but not really any more, one has an attitude of "i've had my fun, now it's time to have a family"--is he saying the good times are over and from here on out its watering the lawn and reading the paper? I don't know.
Do you think it's realistic for these men to hope that they will find a woman young enough to bear children, that has everything going for her that they had going for them back in the day, and start a family with them from scratch?
What is the life expectancy these days? Will these men likely be dying and leaving young widows with middle school children to raise on their own? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:21:47 PM | I think any guy who reaches his 40s has already decided whether or not he wants kids. And if he does, there are plenty of single moms out there, if he's not one of those I'vegottapassdownmyfamilygenes kind of people. If he is, he may be out of luck. Although if he's made lots of money he may not have any problem finding a childless young woman.
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:03:19 PM | Do you think it's realistic for these men to hope?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Hope springs eternal. The real question is: Does thier "plan" include what it takes to sustain a relationship from a woman's POV?
If they're accustomed to being in charge, and they marry a 20 year old, at some point she is going to mature and either he's going to accommodate her emotional growth or--if he's going to oppress it, nobody's going to be happy--goes with mail order spouses, your-kids-age spouses, or anyone in your own age/financial circle. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:15:41 PM | | Any man who waits untill he is in his 40's to settle down and have children is a complete fool. Settle down, yes. Children? NO. I want to be looking forward to retirement when i am in my 60's. NOT putting children thru college. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:18:07 PM | I am approaching mid 30's and have always had trouble dating due to my shy, introverted personality. I never had my 'fun' or 'good times' like many guys in a dating sense (even though I have had a fantastic life otherwise with travel, sports, fun activities etc). I am definately not shy when I get to know people, in fact I can be the life of the party in the right setting, but stick me in a bar on my own, and I might as well go home.
So I was never a player, and definately not a hotshot like the poster mentioned, but I am worried that I could be one of those guys in their 40's who can't find someone to settle down with. I sometimes think I am getting on now, when I catch up with mates, usually there are kids running around as they have settled. I don't have many friends left who are still single and looking. And they can't introduce me to single women because all their friends are settled too.
now it's time to have a family"--is he saying the good times are over and from here on out its watering the lawn and reading the paper?
If I ever find someone to have kids with, I still think there is more to life than watering the lawn and reading the paper LoL. Keep fit and healthy, and you don't have to compromise your lifestyle. Involve kids in sports, etc is a good way to keep a youthful attitude.
My mate who I train with has two young toddlers, yet he keeps his lifestyle intact, things change but not for the worst. In the gym it's just like the good old times, and he loves going to social gatherings with other families with everyone else getting their middle age spread whilst he still is in the same shape as at 20, his wife appreciates it too
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:22:10 PM | Why Not? At least they got their fun out before they decided to settle down. It takes some longer and some not so long.....I don't find anything they did wrong it was the way their life led them. And what should stop them from dreaming and having everything they want? I still have dreams and even through it isn't the same as theirs I wish them the best of luck..........and I don't feel old and I don't feel that I should be put out yet.....I still have a lot of loving and living to do.
The thing that very much bothers me is this:
Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
This sounds very sexist to me. And nasty. I don't like it when this is done to women and I don't like it any better when it is done to me.....But then again I am not into war of the sexes.....if I don't agree with someone it is usually the person not the gender
Blue | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:26:37 PM | Most of them are sitting behind a computer in a dark room ..scratching their private parts and eating a pizza..sub..pb&j. They have no intentions of getting serious with anyone at this point in their lives unless the JACKPOT shows up and they expect them to bring home a check while he brings in his SSI(hurt back at work).
It does not matter the age ...could be 21, 31, 41,51......it's the ego that reflects the attitude. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 5:47:29 PM | I don't understand this either OP as I know a handful of men like this. One was searching for a baby machine for quite some time, but I guess he realized you can't have a baby if you can't get it up.
In my personal opinion I think its self delusion. They have a perception of how they were in their 20's and in their mind it never changes. They perceive themselves as the hot 20 year old with lots of girls, lots of options and great potential.
Now at 40+ they have little hair, are out of shape & have no career. Instead of facing the ugly reality they choose to remember the good ole days & maybe hope the girls can see them for who they used to be????
This is not the majority but they're still out there desperately searching. I bless my lucky stars for good genetics. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:50:43 PM |
Now that these men are older (mid 40's to late 40s),
What are you saying? I'm starting to curdle? LOL
The very thought of having kids at my age sends a shiver up my spine. But then I've already done my part to further the species. My obligation to humanity is complete.
Maybe he thinks he missed out by not trying the domestic life before. He might find somebody that'll go for that. Especially if he's got a fat wallet. I know my town is chock full of pretty girls looking for a cash prize at the end of the ride. I'm sure a few of them would be willing to birth a baby or two along the way.
They can always hammer him for child support when they get tired of his saggin ass... | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:58:16 PM | I wonder how many woman would be screaming angry if this was posted as "Women who've passed their expiration date?"
I wonder when we "reach" the date of spoilage. Honestly if the man is compentent and reasonbly able to provide, age really shouldn't matter. Men and women are starting families later and later in life, pursuing careers, jobs, travel etc. Anyway I think that perhaps "expiration dates" only apply if your shallow enough to only to look at the outside (sorry it seems like you are concerned with looks not character). Or ignore the fact that looks mean crap if your personality is nothing. IBS, fact diagnosed in 20 year olds, so it's not "old age".
Life expectance varies, but average is Men 75 and women 80. They won't die young as baby boomers tend to want and are able to afford the best care avalible. So to answer your question, no they don't die young and leave widows, happens all the time in all age groups. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:13:47 PM | Heidi you silly girl you, you leave me no choice but to share this with you all...
I first saw her face on a milk carton, asking had I seen the woman. For pete's sake, had I seen her I'd have taken her home immediately, she looked so sweet. I didn't realize her family had picked out the sweetest picture to post. Then a few years later I saw her face again on one of those advertising "have you seen this woman" flyers, with the coupons on the back. It was her again! Only this time they'd included a picture of her aged as she might then look . I was so torn between putting her picture up on my refrigerator or using the coupons, how cruel. So I went thru my neighbors recycle cans and found her coupons and was able to post her pic to the fridge, where I looked at it daily. You know how they say if you wish for something long enough we can make it happen in the cosmic heavens?
Well, lo and behold a few days, while shopping and using the coupons, right there in the dairy case I saw her. (you hear the violins of heart strings here, right?) She turned towards me and my face must have spoken volumes, not to mention my jaw dropped inordinately and my moon shaped eyes glazed over. She walked over and asked if I was alright, her hand lightly touching my forearm. Finally, I was able to utter... "It's YOU! It's really you. I've kept you close to my heart, and my refrigerator, for ever. your face has been in all the missing milk cartons and coupons for years, where have you been?"
Her youthful heart broken by an ungrateful lothario, she'd gone off to a convent, so lost in her pain she'd forgotten to alert someone. So I quickly rescued her, we called her family and the milk outfit and coupon place, the APB was removed and she was so moved that a total stranger would keep her memory alive. We hit it off and soon were making plans. One evening after cooking her a great dinner, the lights down low, the Tony Bennet/Michael Bouble cd's on, the fireplace lit, we snuggled on the sofa and of course one thing led to another. We were necking, everything was going great, my dream come true, when suddenly she pushed away from me with an eeoowww!! As I looked at her face I saw utter repulsion (is that a word?), her eyes said "How could you?!!, she wiped her hands on her dress and jumped up from the sofa... I found her at the kitchen sink rinsing her mouth and washing her hands clean, with the dish soap I'd saved 10 cents on with those coupons.
"But darling" said I, "what is the matter, my turtle dove, my heart's throb?" With struggling revulsion she relayed her dismay. As she was gently kissing my neck, she longed to nibble on my ear and see if I was a sensitive man to quick arousal, when suddenly, by the glow of the fireplace she spotted it... unbeknownst to me all these years... the date stamp behind my ear. Apparently I had expired 30 yrs ago and no one had had the decency to let me know. I was crushed (that's another forum by the way), no manner of talking could convince her that I could still be fresh with her. No matter what I said, I was aged, past my due date, past my prime. Instantly my back began to bow, wrinkles appeared all over my face, my lips pursed up like a dried prune, my dentures fell out, and the glow in my eyes was actually the reflection of the light bulb on my gloucoma (or however you spell that word, I can't see well you know). And I could barely make out the outline of her body as she walked out the door that night...
guess I'll call a cab and have them take me to the nearest recycle center... or maybe I could be put into a museum... damn those experiation dates anyway...  | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:15:39 PM | Wow, 40 is young for a man, which world do you live in honey. I am 39 and now is the time when I feel I am in the prime of my life, from now to when I am 50. I will tell you why, I am successful (read educated, money), confident with a lot of patience, which is required to lead and raise a family. I think its because of my maturity and age that I can deal with tons of woman out there who are hormonal, needy, and sometimes even ****y. Age gives me the advantage to not take things so seriously and lets me deal with situations which most people would find too much to handle. I think you underestimate the strength of a real man, possible because in the western world there are not many real men. But then with all the divorces, screwed up families, ultra feminist/liberal women who are constantly trying to change the definition of a man, how can you expect to have strong reliable men. You reap what you sow.
What we have sowed is a mess and what we are going to reap are *metrosexuals*, men who care more about their looks/manicure etc than who can lead. Sure woman can lead, but seriously where are they, I am yet to find them. All I find are uneducated, shallow, selfish women. Now imagine me mixing my gene pool with theirs to produce messed up kids. No thanks, I think not, better be single than ****ing up the world with more egocentric, selfish, stupid people. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:23:08 PM |
am approaching mid 30's and have always had trouble dating due to my shy, introverted personality. I never had my 'fun' or 'good times' like many guys in a dating sense (even though I have had a fantastic life otherwise with travel, sports, fun activities etc.
Your post Mr hiking fit guy strikes a real cord to this whole thread.
At 34 you are still young enough to find someone within the age of being able to have a child or even two, and have had the best of both worlds... You do have a dang nice physic, and it seems a good personality to boot...
Are you still just looking or wanting someone in particular that the rest of the world hasn't been able to find... ANd no this old cougar is not hitting on ya, just amazed that you haven't found your princess yet... HOWEVER it is hard to believe it will not happen..
OP, very great question..
I had a 3 1/2 yr relationship with someone that was looking to go to Russia to get a 21 yr old... He was 42 at the time, and felt he could refix what he couldn't have or achieve the first time around.
Of course when he found out that he was sending this totally hot babe money and others were to he got offended...
However it does seem rather sad that middle agers that want to have what they managed not to obtain by their 40's because they were to busy, suddenly decide they have something in common with an early 20 something. That they will have PURE wedded bliss, with babies to boot.
I have a 24 yr old daughter that laughs, because she tells me, her and her friends have nothing more in common with someone in their 40's than her parents... Then she grimaces and say "how creepy can ya get"...
What seems so unrealistic is that a good portion of women will reach a point around 27 -29, and all of the sudden become a fully aware woman. She will desire to have a partner that can relate to her generation, and what is going on in that age groups world.
At least that is what I have personally observed, and it states in developmental psychology...
So it does seem men may consider being more away...
As well if these guys only hang out with hot bimbos in their earlier age, some seem to have problems relating to women who can actually think for themself... JMHOO.... | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:46:39 PM | I wonder how many woman would be screaming angry if this was posted as "Women who've passed their expiration date?"
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts9061712.aspx
There has been several, with this one ^^^ running several pages and getting quite "heated" at times;)
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts7859854.aspx
This one ^^^ "Are women "marketable" after age 30?" was much worse in my opinion but basically carried the same
message -- which is that people are nothing more than a commodity with a price tag or a market value attached to them:(
In my opinion, an expiry date belongs on a food product or a piece of merchandise and NOT on a human life. And that's basically what I said on those other threads. And I wasn't angry as much as I was overwhelmed with sadness...okay maybe I was just a bit angry yes...but mostly I just felt very sad. I never thought I'd live to see the day where human beings, whether male or female, would have an expiry date or a market value attached to them:(
As far as some men (or women) having lived the fast life when they were young and who now want to settle down...so what?
What does it matter what other people do or don't do? Sigh. Sorry I don't mean to sound short but these types of threads always get to me. I guess for me it all comes down to my favorite saying...*live and let live -- harm no one -- and to each their own*.
JMHO | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:52:40 PM |
In my opinion, an expiry date belongs on a food product or a piece of merchandise and NOT on a human life.
Technically, we humans DO have an expiry date.. thankfully, it's quite a lot longer than a carton of milk. Barring any major health issues, at least. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:52:44 PM | I think many men count on the fact that men generally age well. And GENERALLY there are women that will date 10-15 some even close to 20 years up.
I don't think it's unrealistic for me to think they could be one of those.
Do I think it's the sign of a guy who's matured a bit late, yup, but that's ok. :) | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:01:08 PM | Seems moot considering what goes on in
Hollywood circles.
That Hollywood Madam talked about the decadent
rich, how they live with money NO OBJECT.
My belief is there are those who figure they can
'purchase' their plans into existence, hell, haven't
we seen examples over time?
Lots of room for jello!!
[thank you Bill Cosby] | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:06:15 PM | YUCK
Whenever, I see a man who wants a younger woman.........WELL They get me sick.......
When I was young, I got hit on by all these dirty old men. YUCK!!!! Now that I am older, I get hit on by young men and old men. I look at the person. I hate when a man is looking to settle because he is done with the party. It just means that it is not as easy for him to get laid by as many women and that gets me sick. It is not even like they ever stop looking or truely ever appreciate their wives if they get married, it is more like something that they do because they can't have the same party life.
I want a man who really loves me and our kids where our family is his world not where the expiration date is time for a change. ORRRRRRRRRRRR where they pretend to want a family but it is still a conquest! | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:14:36 PM | | This is a very sexist thing to say. Besides the fact that there are MANY women that have waited until their late 30s and early 40s to do the samething. Heck, I am 48 and I know two women that have made it clear that they would love to date me. But I stay away from them because they want to get married and have kids. I see no reason for me to date a woman that wants to have kids. But there are plenty of women out there that would snatch a guy like that right up. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:27:10 PM | Where is that date stamped -- I must check mine..... Well, no need -- I know I am well past mine....
Someone I worked with a couple of years back fit that description quite well -- and he imported a very beautiful young wife from Columbia (no small task that) and they just had a baby boy last week. I guess it is therefore realistic if you have enough desire. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:30:32 PM | I don't have a problem with it - it's their life not mine and I'm not short on admirers at all but I think there's a grain of truth in what one guy on here said...
"They can always hammer him for child support when they get tired of his saggin ass...".
There's nothing more attractive than a 45 year old with two toddlers and broke as hell from his ex young hottie. I hope they don't come sniffing round my skirt because I'm not bailing anyone out of that mess. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:41:08 PM |
I happen to know several men who, when they were young, had the world by its tail. They were good-looking, successful, well-educated, well-traveled, lots of fun, with great personalities. They could have any woman they wanted. And they wanted a lot of them. Usually, the party girls--meaning very pretty but not very serious about life, the kind of girl you want to "date" but not marry.
Now that these men are older (mid 40's to late 40s), they want to find a nice girl, settle down and have a couple of kids. I see this as the same as women who dated loads of "hot" guys in their 20s and once they reach their early-30s, want a "nice guy" to settle down with. Most guys see them coming and don't want to bother with them, because they don't have the right attittude for marriage, and it shows in their attitude in many ways, so they can't hide it. Some of them get married to such guys and it's often very difficult, because they really don't understand how to be with anyone other than the guys they used to date, and they don't want those guys for serious relationships. Others find out the guy they thought was a bargain turned out to have as many issues as they did. Usually, they end up with a guy where they have to make as many compromises as he does.
One such woman ended up in love with a wonderful guy, who was a virgin when they met, and is quite shy, reserved, mostly stays at home, and is quite difficult to persuade out of his shell. But more open and extrovert genuinely decent guys her age have already got married, and younger guys like that are looking at girls their own age.
I find that most people end up with someone who suits them, whether they like it or not.
Here's the problem. Their value has fallen. Now they are older, balding, one has IBS, one was in a profession that was extrememly well paying back then but not really any more, one has an attitude of "i've had my fun, now it's time to have a family"--is he saying the good times are over and from here on out its watering the lawn and reading the paper? I don't know. Probably they are saying just that. But habits are hard to break, and if you are used to playing around, you either go back to that, or you find life very boring by comparison, unless you completely change your attitude, and then you realise that you could have had better sex and more fun in a marriage with a family, and you end up being happy with a nice, homely woman, and doing everything for her, because you know that just finding someone who is nice to you in the morning is as good as it's likely to get, and you are happy with that.
Do you think it's realistic for these men to hope that they will find a woman young enough to bear children, that has everything going for her that they had going for them back in the day, and start a family with them from scratch? It doesn't matter. If such men do, they find it too hard to adjust and be happy with all that. Either they don't think at all like their wife, so they are always misunderstood and never understanding each other, always at odds, or they find out she has the same attitude they do, with everything they don't like about themselves.
What is the life expectancy these days? Will these men likely be dying and leaving young widows with middle school children to raise on their own? Life expectancy is much higher than it used to be, but it varies vastly with different populations. Those who eat lots of takeout and junk food, who don't relax with life, who don't take moderate exercise, tend to burn out earlier. They live quite long, but with lots of health problems.
Those who eat healthy, tend to take a more calm and serene approach to life, and take moderate exercise, tend to live very long, in very good health. But those type of men tend to not be the ones to play around a lot, because their lifestyle is about moderation and serenity, and those 2 qualities tend to go hand-in-hand with a more moderate and respectful attitude to sex and relationships as well.
I don't see many guys over 35 who've just begun their first marriage, though, and I have no idea what those guys' lives are like. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:41:47 PM | Yes it is realistic. I know men in their late fifties who are happily raising small children they fathered, and in one case a child they adopted.
I am not sure what the point is of your post OP, but it really does sound bitter and hateful. I really hope you didnt pass such a hateful attitude on to your children. The world already has enough people who are cold and full of useless value judgments.
Humanity and parenting does not end at 40.
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