| | Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?Page 1 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | I've been reading another thread that asks posters to give their definition of the difference between sex and making love.
Many of the respondents have noted that making love is with someone you are in love with.
So, after doing a few different searches and not finding one that addresses this, I thought I would throw out this question:
Do you need to be IN love to MAKE love to that person?
IMHO, no. I believe you can make love to a person without being IN love with that person. That being said, notice I said make love TO someone, not WITH someone. There is a difference.
This is not about sex or one night stands. This is about being in a relationship, whether it be FWB or at the beginning of a possible LTR where you are not IN love with that person, but you do care for them.
What is your opinion? | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:02:43 PM |
Do you need to be IN love to MAKE love to that person?
NO , But with my magic potion and hypnosis and of course a 4- pack of d cells, it can still happen.
But really, Not being a person with many opinions , your question makes me look deep inside and say.... I want a burrito,
Sorry I want to bury the burrito...
OK back to the topic
Love is chemical reaction, mix the right things at the right time and Violla!
LOVE
As far as making love and making Woopie!
I do not know about anybody else here but given the option of "making love" and a REAL GOOD HARD F%$!&*ing.... Hmmmm
Maybe when I was young an naive but these day I'll take the "Wild ride on the Baloney Pony" any day......
Well until I meet the future Mrs. Quixote, Well then I will be "Beating the Beaver with the old log every night"
Don Quixote
Jousting one stupid
Windmill at a time
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:08:11 PM | | In my view, making love applies to sexual intimacy as a meaningful term only when loving emotions accompany the intimacy. If none are involved, then it is sex. This doesn't mean for people just having sex there is no pleasure, including at the emotional level, but I still think there is a big difference between making love and having sex. | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:08:28 PM | Theoretically........
Yes!
Though I will quantify by stating
that you are likely to be in love with
your 'image' of an ideal, transplanting
it onto your current squeeze.
Often wondered, I saw a blind couple,
wed for a while, had kids, never saw each other!
Surely, love transcends the physical realm! | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:09:54 PM | I kinda thought *making love* to someone your not IN love with was simply called Having Sex.
Cause if your not IN love with them to begin with...having sex aint gonna *make it*...
...or did I miss the point somewhere? | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:17:40 PM | How can you be making love to someone, while you are fantasizing yourself to orgasm ?
Splitting hairs on word definitions is a waste of time. Either you are loving the person you are having sex with, or NOT.
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:18:02 PM | Making love to me is not the same as to you by definition. To me love is like religion in that it is a lifestyle not an act. What you are speaking of is copulation with emotion. You can put intense feeling of desire or passion or whatever you want to call it into the act of copulation even with someone you are not "in love" with. But i don't believe it is to the extent you would if it were the person you were in love with. Conversely you can have mindless instinctive copulation with the one you love without having the emotional bond you would have when "making love".
That's my thoughts at least. Good luck. | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:21:53 PM |
Cause if your not IN love with them to begin with...having sex aint gonna *make it*...
...or did I miss the point somewhere?
Maybe there is a third category? Not in love yet, but, maybe at some point..but, I do care about them as a person?..lol...
For me personally...I would use the term "making love" only when love was involved. I will say though, that there is a difference between just sex, and sex in the beginning stages of a relationship that is "hoping" to find love? I don't find that FWB's are ever that..at least one person has no intention of love being part of it. There is also a difference between sex that is all about the physical and sex that involves caring....but, I don't think that is making love...it's just kinder sex...lol...but, love is not, and is never intended to be part of the equation.
Just more confusion brought to us via dating in the 21st century. There never used to be a big reason to make these distinctions..it was always pretty clear which was which. At least when I was younger, back in the stone ages.... | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:34:18 PM | yes, magic potions and hypnosis and of course a 4- pack of d cells
Don, you are always good for a giggle.... thank you for that!!
you're kiddding yourself and have alot of growing up to do
Care to elaborate?.... EDIT... I guess not... his profile is gone.... geez... sorry bud! I guess I'll never learn how to grow up after all!
making love applies to sexual intimacy as a meaningful term only when loving emotions accompany the intimacy
"when loving emotions" I have had loving emotions towards SOs but not been IN love with them. I made love to them, I did not have sex with them. Having sex is much colder and unemotional, whereas the times with those SOs were not.
you are likely to be in love with
your 'image' of an ideal, transplanting
it onto your current squeeze
Hmmmm.... possibly.... food for thought meteor. I will have to mull this statement over.
How can you be making love to someone, while you are fantasizing yourself to orgasm
You have NEVER fantasized about something when you've made love with an SO? Ever?? Even if it was to think of the two of you in some out-of-this-world location that really turns you on or to think of your SO in a particular piece of lingerie that maybe she didn't wear that night?
When I make love, I am into the person I am with wholly and completely. It is the laughter and the insight and intimacy that is shared that makes it making love. Still doesn't mean I am IN love with that person or he with me.
Making love to me is not the same as to you by definition
This is what I enjoy learning... other peoples take on things. Thank you for sharing.
it's just kinder sex
Nicely said, actually. | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:39:59 PM | | When I was much younger.......It didn't take much to get me turned enough to have sex. However, I still had to at least like the woman to have sex with her. Now, as I am older and a lot more experienced......I have no desire to have sex with a woman I don't love.....or at least have real strong feelings for. I could never have sex with my ex wife or any of my ex girl friends. | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:43:18 PM | Back in the old days, I've had phenominal sex
Hey Lucky....
are you "walking the monkey down old memory lane?, right about now?
assman...
Basman whats the dif??
However, I still had to at least like the woman to have sex with her. Now
You will take what ever you can get?
or at least have real strong feelings for. I could never have sex with my ex wife or any of my ex girl friends
I am sure they are relieved, I know I am, ahhhhhhhhhh
Don Quixote
Jousting stupid windmills
One at a time | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 12:31:34 AM |
Why is it that women take words that are already ill defined and throw in some context dependence to really confuse things?
lmao...it's our "need" to know exactly what everything means..especially re: men and sex?I keep trying to suppress it...really... | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:39:28 AM | Yeah.. In my opinion, there is a huge difference between sex and "making love".
Making love is a very intimate act - done with someone you are in love with.
Sex, on the other hand - All that's needed is lust.. Attraction.. Love doesn't have to be a part of the equation.
..Just my opinion..
=) | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:42:16 AM |
Do you need to be IN love to MAKE love to that person?
Recall a certain lady, just an encounter every so often thing. We never tried to be in love, circumstances. Because of two kindred hearts it was a combination making love but the meetings were for sex. So I'm going to go with no, you do not.
She said, "You don't look like my type but I guess you'll do."
Third rate romance. Low rent rendezvous.
And he said, "I'll even tell you that I love you if you want me to"
So if that's what it takes.............(jk) | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:01:00 AM | Laughing Libra,
Interesting post, its make me think for a while.
Again it depends ont he need for defination. A couple who have been happily marrie for 30 years may not seem themselves as 'in love' like a newlywed couple would. But they still 'make love' with each other. I say with.... because I cant see how you can make love 'to' someone.... unless you just run up to them and start pelvic movements on them... lol
But as you say, you can care alot for someone, and make love with them but not be 'in' love with them.
Sex is just an act, and regardess of the feelings behind it is just stays an act. I have actually had great sex with someone I didnt ever get on with, or agree with or even like that much,..just because there was a huge chemical sexual attraction.
However the feeling of sex with someone I am in love with is competely different. Its is not just physically satisfying its emotionally satisfying too. its the emotional fullfillment that defines the 2 things I think.
Or, if you want something to really bake your noodle, everything we percieve and feel is just down to a set of electrical impulses anyway  | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:37:19 AM | | It’s a matter of passion, prelude and foreplay – you can have a quickie with someone you are deeply in love with, but, it’s only sex, you’re not ‘making love’ – making love is just sex with passion, making love is just sex with emotion; however momentary or fleeting or transitional (or illusionary) that passion or emotion might be. | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:44:37 AM | Good questions make you think.
LL this thread deserves a serious answer but I've been sitting here thinking about it for a while and I just don't know.
It's been a while. I'm not going to settle. I'm willing to wait for the good stuff.
If I'm not going to give it everything I've got, whats the point? It still doesnt mean I'm in love. I think the answer is ...yes you can, but if you're that close does it matter?
What does "in love" mean anyway? | |
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| Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:42:59 AM | imo, the term "making love" is invalid. I find "love" to be a feeling or emotion or an emotional state. the phrase "making love" has always made me chuckle, just like "sleeping with someone" or "we slept together" does. 
it's SEX.
but, it's all good.
yes, I can and have had sex with someone that I had much affection for but did not "love". I don't take "love" lightly and fall in and out of it easily.
back in my wild child-sex, drugs, & rock n' roll days I had sex with guys that I had much 'affection' for that I had known only for the moment. lol and, there's been a few fwb's that have enriched my life, but I never considered my affection for them as "love".
"love is a many splendored thing"..........and it is | |
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