| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:55:57 AM | Why are you here ?
What are you doing here and what do you hope to accomplish ?
It's obstensibly a dating site which would infer that people who join are indeed looking for someone to join with in life’s little journey.
Is it working for you ? Have you changed your motive for being here?
I seek not to confront..I’m just curious. I’ve ( for those who may have read my little spielwould realise) have been on a little sabbatical to work out who and what I'm about. Part of this involves the notion of singularity or involvement with another. And do I really want it.
Its been an interesting trek so far.. much revelations…some surprising..some confronting and the end of the forrest nears. And for this it requires the ultimate consideration.. Why am I here.
As I look at many of the scibblings I see many of the same contributors and I must confess I wonder why. This isn’t judgement, purely observation. And as I wonder why I am here I wonder why they are here.
Bill cosby once asked ..”why is there Air” to which he derived the answer….to blow up basketballs. Seems reasonable enough to me. i.e some things are neither blatant nor obvious.
Why are you are you here ? To find another ? To talk to others ? to pretend to do either?
I read many profiles…we all do.. some I read for interest…some amuse me no end and some concern me., for if amalgamating was the intention the impediments they suggest are enormous.
I am not entirely innocent of that I must confess and that in itself suggested this thread.. for as I'm wondering why am I here and what do I hope for from it.
I am wondering why many others are here for it seems many arent ready for relationships. Many arent ready for human co-habitation many don’t want anyone who is indeed human but must conform to unrealistic checklists.
Many have terriibly unrealistic ( to me ) ideas of personal histories. Many I have to say exhibit all the qualities that without doubt lead to the new found singleness !!
Im really interested in others viewpoints and hopes in this regard.
For all of these sites everywhere you can count millions of members.. but only handfulls of success. Granted many will want anonimity , but still the conversion rate seems ridiculously low over all.
Why are you here?
And do you think you will realise that hope ? | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:03:07 AM | Yep, here to find a friend who can become something more I suppose....
Nothing more, nothing less !
Becoming more despondant by the day after certain replies but hey at least I'm being acknowledged :o) | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:20:48 AM | Dear shrexy
I'm here so I can answer your post at 2:18 am.
Ok, serious now, things have changed for me since I started in pof, I can tell you I've been here three months now, and like you, I have seen few mad profiles. I havent found what I'm looking for as yet. I suppose when I find, I wont be here anymore.
Good luck in all.
Amore  | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:00:01 AM | Shrexy,
Sure, my ultimate goal is to find 'the one', but I've not used the internet as the sole means of doing so, nor as a substitution for getting out there and enjoying meeting people in real life.
I have to admit to being addicted to the forums though.
Like you, I have (and always will I suspect), spent a great amount of time in striving to become a better person, lots of introspection involved there. I learn a lot from the differing opinions people have on the various subjects discussed here, even from those whose opinions are at times in direct contrast to mine.
Sometimes that helps me broaden my horizons (you know...'walking a mile in another's shoes') by making me aware of varying perspectives beyond my own.
At other times, even the wingnuts make me grateful, because it helps fine tune my 'danger! danger! instincts, as those with less than admirable motives reveal their true nature and attempted methods to achieving them.
I love the events I have attended, the friendships I have formed, even though some are only of the pen pal type, due to distance. All in all, I guess my reasons for being here are pretty much the same as most people's.
hnh
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:57:37 PM | I only joined, as an online friend sent me the link and said "hey look at my profile".
I'd never even heard of POF before that. Been on here a few months, but only recently added a photo (don't much like photos on the net). I put the photo up for the forums actually.
Been single now since Aug 05, but only this last year have I moved on/ changed/evolved to the point where I'm ready to meet someone else.
Do I think I will meet someone from here, and have happily ever after?..................I dont know. I like the forums on here though. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:47:34 PM |
Why are you here?
I don't really know, with the hope of finding friends and that maybe there will be a conection with one that will develope into more.
I don't belive in happy ever after I belive you find somone that you want to be with and are willing to work through the hurdles life put before you, developing as a couple and become closer as you get to the other side of these so called hurdles not giving up saying it's all to hard and walking away. (maybe I do live in fairytale land after all)
And do you think you will realise that hope ?
I have already made some really great friend from this site (male & female) so I guess to a degree I already have. I would suggest going to POF events as this how I have meet most of these friends, stepping out side my comfort zone. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:11:03 PM | I joined, probably like most of us, looking for a potential partner, after all it is a singles site, but it's turned into much more of a chatroom thing through the forums and events, the people I have met and chat to here feel like new friends, and for the first time in my life I have made female mates on a singles site lol it's sure a whole new experience but so much more fun and real than the whole sleazy "lets hookup and have meaningless sex" thing I've come across on most other sites. pof rocks!
ronda :)
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:17:43 PM | The same for me. The idea of a potential partner has slipped down the ladder a little, as I have found that it's probably harder not to have the singles friends network... so yeah... I'm enjoying the forums, events and making new friends. pof sure rocks (except for dating...lol)
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:41:09 PM | An excellent thread shrexy.
Initially I was on here with the intention of perhaps meeting "my man", however, I quickly turned my energies into the events threads and the forums.
When I moved back to Qld, I was happy simply to do the forums and have to admit that as I was busy meeting wonderful people (from the events on POF) that I wasnt putting any thought into finding a partner (and I actually 'all but forgot' this is a singles site)
POF has enabled me to make some truly great friends (mainly female friends) whom I have met thru the forums and events. As most of my friends are married, it is great to have others that I can phone and say "hey lets go out tonight" or whatever.
In saying that.. I have come back down from the Natual High I was on when I initially moved back here and now I am thinking once again.. It would be nice to have a man in my life. However, the forums and events are still the main reason why I login each day . | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:19:32 PM | | Looks like i'm here to read and post on the forums. I spend more time doing that than looking at peoples profiles. I have stopped bothering to send women emails as nearly all of them do not respond. I think Naamah was one of the only ones who did, was very thoughtful of her. So in short I have no idea why I am still here other than to stave off boredom for a little while longer. I realise the odds of finding a date on here are about the same as when I'm at the shops or at the local, and that is very low!! | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:56:26 PM | Meet potential partners. Is it working? Yes.
Some of your assumptions are based around people who are on the forums are all in the single scene. Poor assumption. Others are based around what is written in the forums. Also poor assumptions.
Mayhaps there are better places to seek your spiritual enlightenment. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:28:41 AM | why am i here?? the forums are great! i guess at first it was the "oh my god im single and dont know where to start!" sort of thing! then i just stopped looking at the profiles and enjoyed the forums.....as to what this means...well , it just means that im comfortable with where i am and i sometimes meet nice people and thats all good!!
spent a lot of time also, getting to know just what i want and its different to what i expected...but i think it will be good- just gotta find it lol but im just not in a hurry- im having fun anyway!! | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:34:31 AM | Great thready Shrexy
I joined as a friend of mine met her partner on here a year ago and they are still going strong..so yes theres hope....
I'd like to meet someone but like the other postere, reckon thats kinda gone by the way side...a bit disappointing but hey...I get the occasional message but mainly sleazy so thats off putting.
Like my fellow posters, I really enjoy the forums, the topics, the feed back, the advice, the opinions...I like to think that it has broaden my perception on many topics, I know ive learned things and I can honestly say that at times I really have gone..."Wow Id never thought/or saw it like that !!"
I have made connections with fellow posters and one is definatley my besty.....and thats been a huge bonus...a definate bonus...
But I lovee my little POF family, like to check in once a day, see where everyones headspace is at....love hearing little stories about people and whats happening..its great......and its definatley one of the better sites and free !!!
If only Daniel was on here...and like single and yeah rite he want me to be his 007..... Not Fair !!! | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:18:54 AM |
I'd like to meet someone but like the other postere, reckon thats kinda gone by the way side...a bit disappointing but hey...I get the occasional message but mainly sleazy so thats off putting.
I can send you non-sleazy messages, but I do not really want to meet you, so it sort of cancels it out. Still, the thought is there and that brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my inside. Well, that could be tuberculosis... but I hope not. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:25:32 AM | I guess its my turn.
Reading your intro Shrexy, and the messages, i guess i shouldnt be here.
While i believe that PoF is a superior format for a dating site - i dont believe that the 'meeting your soulmate' part works any better than in r/l.
Dating girls is easier without using PoF - saves a lot of time being compared to check-lists and bypasses a lot of mind f*cking.
I came to belief years ago that traditional relationships arent for everybody - me in particular.
What i like is that i can represent myself the way i am and see if there is any interrest in an average nerd that isnt telling people what they want to hear and isnt trying to sell himself very hard - I found there isnt.
While i havent been on the forums for very long, they have taken a life on, their own.
They are amusing, insightful and sometimes very personal.
I have found some answers to questions for myself and have to thank you guys for that.
I said it before - these forums remind me of a little virtual village community like Asterix & Obelix (Asterix the Gaul) where people have their regular fistfights but make up at the end of the day around a big bonfire and a feast of wild boar.
To get back to your question, i believe it is ignorant to assume that happiness and fullfillment only awaits us once we find our soulmate - people come and go into our lives, and for those we get along with we should be thankful for, because life doesnt owe us anything. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:44:09 PM | | Unlike other people I'm hoping still to actually meet someone. My problem is that in person I'm actually too good looking and sophisticated, and women find me intimidating because of that. My hope is that without my damnedly good-looking face holding me back I might yet meet someone. Sadly my dizzying intellect is also a problem, but what can I do? How much can I lessen myself? | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:35:19 PM |
Unlike other people I'm hoping still to actually meet someone. My problem is that in person I'm actually too good looking and sophisticated, and women find me intimidating because of that. My hope is that without my damnedly good-looking face holding me back I might yet meet someone. Sadly my dizzying intellect is also a problem, but what can I do? How much can I lessen myself?
There really is a problem here whitegold. See I have done the opposite to you. In person I may be really good looking but I have put up photo's which make me look ugly!! I have made a profile which suggests a very low brow type of guy when in actual fact I am a regular Einstein!! The problem is this approach isn't working either, so what do us guys have to do to get a break?? Now if you don't mind I have to get back to my thesis on string theory!! | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:30:11 PM | Oh, you two! 
Shrexy - good topic. I started here with a profile, hoping to (miraculously) be ready for a new partner - and then discovered the Forums.
I have barely looked at profiles since, unless it is somebody who has e-mailed me, or someone fron the Forums I want to know about - where they live, what they are interested in etc.
Since joining, I have discovered I am not ready for a new r/ship....but like r/l, I don't wanna just jump in, so this is as good as ongoing meets at the Pub or whatever for getting to 'know' people. We all have very distinct personalities, and like Kobalt said somewhere else, ages ago - this is a very safe format for me to talk to people in. I can sit back, and still engage in idle banter, challenge my mind and ideals, and laugh my head off - same as I would on a night out.
I can't help feeling a little sensitive about a post I made in the last few days re mental health....and I fear I may be one of those you see as contributing to "singleness" ....but a story shared often helps others. And let's face it, if anyone ever meets me, I rather they know I'm a lunatic up-front than have to find out and be shattered later
Ya never know what can happen. | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:09:49 PM | what am i here for.............mmmm ummm coz i like looking!
yep looking at all the threads and watching people, amazing what you can learn. damn sure i am not here to receive emails or date anybody god forbid that would happen - sheesh! | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:29:00 PM | Nice thread shrexy.....
I came on initially cause the time was right for me to start dating again and hopefully, eventually meet a man that compliments me, a man that laughs with me.
I have hidden my profile on POF only because I seem to get people who want to know absolutely nothing about me but when I am available (obvoiusly envisioning a sexual interlude!) If they read my profile they'd realise I am not into casual sex.
I do still come online to as most of you do, read the forum posts, extremely interesting and I must admit I've learnt alot from them....thanks!
Good luck to all, I'm going to continue working and meeting people in my everyday life and hopefully, just hopefully meet a true, honest, loyal gentleman, fingers crossed - we all get lonely.... | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:42:15 AM | yes pof has changed me to people on here say one thing and mean anther i want a relationship means i want some sex i want to be casual means i just want a friend
all i get is and some are genuine with what they say you've just got to learn to pick who's who and follow whats right at the time good luck with it all as we all need it some day we may find what were looking for it could be anywhere wish all good luck this is both men and women  | |
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| What are you here for ??
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:57:24 AM | | I found the sight by accident, then I seen you can go on here to just talk/email or look for friends so I went for the look for friends part. Friends I have found and continue to find,, I love it and my new found social life | |
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| Why are you here for ??
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:03:27 AM | Part of this involves the notion of singularity or involvement with another
That's an interesting way to put it. Certainly know the feeling.
For myself, personally:
I am here to enjoy life, period: Whatever that may encompass. Life is meant to be enjoyed. If that encompassing crosses the path(s) of others, then I'll take each at its experience and go from there.
As for this site:
Initially I joined up with some expectation of perhaps meeting someone. And while I still have long term on my profile, nowdays at the moment I reside in just participating in the forums. Though if I see someone/profile worthy/worthwhile of my attention, then usually I'll do something ;). But as mentioned above, I'm here to enjoy the experience of it all. At the end of the day though, if I learn something from it then it's been worthwhile, single or otherwise. | |
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| Why are you here for ??
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:52:20 AM | So far..I have to say its very enlightening.. Many of the answers and ideas I had expected..but its the methods and contexts that intrigue.
I suppose its a bit like we can have many accents to how we view this but then the medium sort of 'flattens' it and strips away many of the nuances of the how and why.
I often find its not so much what a person says but how they say it...kind of the packaging as it were. This is not possible to discern that well in this place ( the net ). A simple comment said with inflection becomes quiet whimsy...in leters only it falls flat.
So I suppose im here to open conduits to the possibility of discovering character. Looks and appeal etc are undeniably important...but its not always the overtly percievable things that attract. Maybe Im trying to finesse this medium to produce something it can't.. ..I dont know .
I dont think in all honesty I really expect too much to occcur as a result of my time here.. but you never know, surprises can come from the least expected origins.
pray to continue please.. finding it all rather fascinating; more than I thought the question might muster :) | |
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