| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:44:41 PM | | you go through life have your loves and experiences and life goes on till you meet the next one you will fall in love with but thats it, my parents have been married for 52 years had 6 kids but i still wander if they had still been together in our throw away society!!!! | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:09:14 PM | | i'm sure this topic has been covered countless times, but my view is basically... with women having more power in society, and divorce, unwed, single mothers and whatnot being socially acceptable, they have less and less reasons to put up with mistreatment. i think that has a lot to do with why divorce rates are so high. i'm sure there's also the instant gratification aspect, as well as unrealistic expectations... but i wouldn't call this society a throwaway society as much as a society that aims for complete happiness w/out the work. its easier to give up on something and try something new, than to make something old and broken become what you want it to be. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:23:27 PM | My Grandparents were married till death. My paretns have been married for 28 years the key si a healthy relationship getting things out and arguing and forgiving instea dof keeping it all bottled inside and to have a good sex life. my parents still do the dirty deed! | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:45:58 PM |
you go through life have your loves and experiences and life goes on till you meet the next one you will fall in love with but thats it, my parents have been married for 52 years had 6 kids but i still wander if they had still been together in our throw away society!!!! It first sounded like you may have a partiality to partnership, except that you then go and say
but then life becomes boring!!! I think once you make up your mind, you can get whatever you want. (True?)
There are some people who go from one love to the "next" - I can understand how one sees this redundantly repetitive. Give yourself time, and don't see the next guy as just the next. See him as the one. If everyone did this, love would last. But most people are selfish and self-interested, what can I say? THEY get bored, so THEY will want out, completely disregarding relationship progress, and more often than not, another person's feelings. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:52:41 PM | Sorry honey but you haven't found the right mate yet. My husband and I have been married for 40 years and went together for 5 years before that. The young people now a days gbet divorced without even trying to fix things. Someone doesn't like the color shirt you have on - "hell let's get rid of him? You need to hang in there even if things are tough because they turn around before yu know it.
By the way the only species that stay together for life are geese! honk | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:57:22 PM | Pretty Much Hit the nail on the head,
It takes work, and both have to be committed to the whole you and me idea. I think that we have to look at what is going on around us and not let it effect us or the commitment....... | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:07:30 PM | | It is relatively rare to hear about a marriage without divorce. In terms it leads one to believe, are you just setting yourself up for another heartache or how long will this piece of heaven last. Its now acceptable for people to enter a relationship with their head down waiting for the supposed inevitable. But thats now day society unfortunately. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:26:50 PM | I agree with solarpanel.... You have to work at it daily... its a two way street .....
Its like catching a cold, you must try and cure the problem before it gets out of hand...
Sure things lose their sparkle after awhile ,...and if you have two small children it can be a real drag on the marrage... ...but thats when you should go out and get your hair done and buy a sexy dress... or both go on a weekend trip and make sure you both see how the other half live...perhaps you`ll both get home and be very grateful for what you have !!!..........
Many things work against a marrage ... Money can be a real downfall , or husband is sick of his job.... these things can wear a marrage thin,....but someone has to see whats happening and try to bring the problem to ahead...encourage each other... look down the road and say lets set some GOALS.... we should plan to buy a small house of our own...or we should buy a small trailor and rent a space by a lake ,. go up every weekend and relax... and meet new foks , have getogethers by the lake...
Setting a goal , and dreaming up ways to raise extra cash to buy that caravan... Like he and a buddy could go and paint in homes ...people they know...or wash down some ones home... sand floors ,...lots of people would rather pay to do jobs they hate doing..
Just work to-gether and bond !!! ...... an old sayingh when I was a kid...Idle hands.... well its the same in atired out marrage where he hides out in the basement or garage... he`s bound to get into trouble... So watch for the the tell tale signs....
Take care and good luck .... John .....
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:20:05 PM | Nope, not at all true. I was married 39 years 3 months and 25 days -- till death do us part. I was never unfaithful to my wife and I am sure there were many opportunities.
I took my vows seriously and I would give all my worldy possesions to have her back.
I really feel sorry for you, if you believe some of the things you are saying.
Good luck finding happiness. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:24:05 PM |
Many things work against a marrage ... Money can be a real downfall , or husband is sick of his job.... these things can wear a marrage thin,....
Marriage is viewed as a contract or an employment position, if one party doesnt perform to expectations they are fired or discharged in search of a person that will perform to the terms of the agreemant.
If you listen to people what they really want, is a FRIEND or COMPANION in a marriage or relationship. Now how many of your friends have lost jobs or ran into rough times, do you make them stop being your friend ? If you abandon a friend just because they have tough times then you are an atrocity as a human being. If people viewed marrige as a friendship, AS THEY CLAIM TO SEEK, instead of a contract as society has indoctrinated (largely due to laywers getting involved in divorces and everything is reduced to money and property compensation, but that is a different matter), the relationship or marrige would actually be strengthend by the times of misfortune. I know when I ran into some rough times it brought me closer to my friends and even my family, of course my girlfriend at the time abaondened me, the one person that I should have been able to count on, but that seems to be many persons experience. I have to say this societys version of marriage and relationships disgusts me. If you have to count on your friends over your wife or girlfriend, thats just SAD. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:28:24 PM | | Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid. It takes a part of you away for awhile never knowing if there is that special someone that can put it back. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:32:15 PM | Your parents were the product of some very specific sociological events. Post-depression Britain, war-time Britain - These events definitely shaped the values of your parents. Your own life choices - hippy chick - are a reflection of how society shapes a person's choices. This time period is sociologically and economically similar to the twenties. "Sex in the City" could have been written about the time of the "Flappers" and "Party Girls".
That being said, relationships are successful when they are built on maturity, respect, shared values, and trust. Inevitably there will be challenges in a relationship but with the right foundation, the challenges can be overcome. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:32:36 PM | What you believe to be true will become true for you.
If you "truly believe a mate for life does not exist" then no life-mate will ever exist for you.
Likewise if you believe that "if a man is offered it elsewhere he will take it" to be true, it will become true for you.
I and many others (male and female) have every intention to be faithful. Furthermore, I will trust my SO to also be faithful. And I believe that thinking this way will help to make it reality.
Good luck. I hope you enjoy the reality you create. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:56:28 PM |
What you believe to be true will become true for you.
So what your significant other believes will become true for them. Your perception of truth cannot become their reality because according to your statment every persons belief becomes their own reality.
There are some UNIVERSAL truths that are irrefutable, such as the sun will rise and set or gravity. Your beliefs to the contrary dont make a world without gravity a reality.
Your statment is actually based on psychology the theory of the Self Fulfilling prophecy which states that a person tends to set events in motion to achieve the preconcieved conclusion, wether consciously or subconsciously.
I think that theory has alot of merit but I think realtionships defy logic because they are based, or should be based on emotion. There are many people that were faithful to their spouse and believed their spouse would be faithful to them and were suprised as hell to find out their spouse had cheated on them. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:06:24 PM | First, I'm glad to see you went into detail regarding my viewpoint, and arguments, but ... ?
thats rubbish if a man is offered it elsewhere he will take it does not matter if hes married or not ......... No - now that is rubbish! If one's s/o didn't use sex as a bargaining/power tool, there is no reason to look elsewhere, even if it is "offered". And if they did, there is no reason either, but too long and one becomes wary... If familiar sex becomes too "dull/routine" for you, think of those who get none, and try appreciating life. Otherwise, experiment - try new things (with the same person), and suck it up. | |
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| i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:15:23 PM | Quote:
thats rubbish if a man is offered it elsewhere he will take it, does not matter if hes married or not .........
How incredibly sad, if that is the only kind of man you know.
I know otherwise
I know men who prefer the upliftment that being devoted gives them
but it is true, they are rare and special men | |
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