| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:10:18 AM | | I was having a discussion with a male friend , well more of a debate he is 35 decent guy still single never has problems getting a date , however he has this rule and that is that he can tell if he is going to gel with someone or not just from just one date . My arguement was that maybe that is where you are going wrong . I mean come on how can you tell after a few hours ok admittedly sometimes you can but not every single time , some people suffer from nerves , some people are shy etc so it can take a bit longer for some people to come out of themselves than others . So i was wandering how long do people in general give to get know someone or see if you click or not ? | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:14:23 AM | This is what I do:
First Date: Decide if I am initially attracted to them and if we have anything to say to one another, and if our interests/personalities are a good fit (ie, we have similar lifestyle choices like smoking or not, share interests like politics--notice I said share, not AGREE--and have complimentary personalities, such as him being a little outspoken and me being a little shy works well).
Second Date: If he's passed muster, I'll accept a second date. This date usually tells me if sparks can grow or not. We've met before so there are no surprises like a hidden potbelly and we both obviously liked each other enough to go out again. On this date, I'll start trying to assess "future" potential, and him saying any of the following might disqualify him:
"I'm considering joining Peace Corps within the next year."
"I don't believe in marriage."
"I'm legally separated."
"I may be going to grad school in Tibet."
"My mother's opinion is the one I hold in the utmost regard. She's never steered me wrong."
Unless I really like him, I won't accept a third date. To me, he gets two dates to show me we're a good match. If not, see ya, I'm 23 and don't have time to waste on a relationship that is obviously going nowhere. This was how I dated when I was single and I am now engaged to my soulmate (who I met on match). | |
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| How many dates would you go on before you decide you click?
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:40:51 AM | Cenettix,
I am with you. If I don't click with him in one date then there is no need for another. I don't go out on dates to have an awkward time. And if he is so nervous or some of the other things mentioned and can't relax while I'm trying to put him at ease, then he's not for me anyway. There's no connection.
Of course, I leave room for the unpredictable events like in the movie, Hitch where he inadvertently kicks her in the face and takes her to see her butcher uncle's signature.  But even in that case, she had a good time and there was chemistry. | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:16:54 PM | | well i'm kinda just starting to get into dating again so it will be a tough one to answer but i'll try...if i need to decide when we truly click it be after at least a few dates and if i still don't feel nothing then i know we will only be friends and thats going by my dating history...also i'm a really shy person so a guy needs to give me that time to get use to there personality | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:00:14 PM | | good point this is what i have tried to ell my mate , however he keeps meeting women saying yeah we got on really well and there was chemistr y there but im not going to meet her again? huh where is the sense in that he tells me he wants to meet someone and settle down but then i actullly wander if he does . I always give people im interested in at least two dates if I get a tird then great if not then time to move on to the next one I just dont get where he is coming from really lol | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:04:51 PM | First date every time. The 4 times I've went to a second date not being sure they've all just fizzled. So I learned a long time ago to trust my perceptions. And if there is no click, I let her know...none of this waiting and wondering stuff.
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:10:08 PM | | I'll go on a second date if I'm not quite feeling the indescribable 'IT'. However, I have to be interested in knowing more about the man. If I'm not feeling 'it' AND I have no interest in knowing more than its a no for sure and it says nothing about the man I'm with, except that we are not a match. That's all...Cheers!.:) | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:15:26 PM | I know right away if I am attracted to someone physically....that part is obvious. I know based on what a man tells me about himself if we are on the same wavelength intellectually, emotionally and professionally. I also know that people can be a little shy and nervous on a first date and I allow for that. I think its quite charming. But the click is there or not from the moment we meet so far as I'm concerned.  | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:26:20 PM | Usually just the one - infact I agree with an earlier poster - within 5 minutes you know!
I recently gave someone the benfit of doubt - On first meeting him I really didn't think he was "my type" but we had a pleasant evening and so I agreed to meet a couple times after that. By then both of us realised that we weren't compatible! so from now on I will go with my initial instinct. | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:21:57 PM | | Usually 2-3 dates unless there is something about a man that is an obvious dealbreaker. Lack of physical attraction, bad body odor, poor personality, he's married etc. Sometimes people don't click right away because they don't know each other well enough. Or because someone could be a little bit shy or nervous at first. | |
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| how mant dates would you go on before you decide you click or not
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:26:34 PM | | well to be honest i usually knew pretty soon if i was interested , sometimes as soon as i meet the person . i'd know if i was interested in them . being online its a bit harder to know if you are clicking . mean talking on msn is ok but still hard to know without meeting them . | |
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