| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:18:10 PM | So here's the thing...I have hung out with this guy twice now, each time he stayed at my place over night because we were drinking. We did not have sex, but we did make out and got things worked up. We speak on the phone every few days or so. Either way we had plans for this past Saturday night. I told him my friend was having a party and asked him if he would like to come with me for a little while. He agreed, and I spoke with him Friday afternoon to confirm. Later that night he calls me and tells me that he's heading up to Long Island to see his buddy. He assures me he will be back Saturday night. Saturday night comes and his phone goes right to voice mail. It was the same thing on Sunday. This morning I get to work and he sent me an email saying that things got out of control with his buddy and he ended up not waking up in time to come back Sat night, and then his phone was dead. He didn't get home until yesterday night and left his phone in NY so he didn't have my number to call and explain.
What I want to know is how should I take this? Should I give him another chance to make it up to me? Or should I just forget it. I get the vibe from him that he likes me, but I don't want to waste my time. I know things can happen but now where do I go from here? | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:22:34 PM | | If this is the first time, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If this is something that happens on a regular basis, then I would recommend moving on. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:30:14 PM | | Agreed stop chasing him, let him call you. If he continues to do this sort of thing then he isnt worth ur time. Personally i think he had too much fun with his friend and didnt want to tell you he didnt want to come anymore, cuz his story sounds kind of lame. Give him another chance tho. | |
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RJ*
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Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:44:59 PM | | This is only one mans point off view but i say move on.It sounds like he was to busy to worry about your feelings.Take it as a sign of things to come move on and give another lucky guy a shot. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:47:52 PM | Maybe he's tired of dry humping.  Or he could have actually been out drinking with friends and lost his phone. I lost my phone between the seat and the console for three days, because the battery was dead. All of my phone numbers are in my cell and I rarely use the land line. Seriously, if you like him, this story is worthy of a footnote for future reference. I wouldn't axe the guy simply because he turned up missing for a weekend; especially after you've left him high and dry for two previous dates.  | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:55:41 PM | Well now, just suppose his story is absolutely true? Okay, so maybe he's not totally crazy about you right now but if you play your cards right and you both already like each other, maybe he will be...
My advice would be find out for yourself:
Let your next date be one that allows you to chat a little more intimately while keeping it light and fun. Do something fun that doesn't involve alcohol.
If he's genuinely interested in getting to know you, he'll be up for that kind of date.
Keep a little emotional distance until you get to know him better (not to be confused with cool or standoffish) be your warm sunny self, if you are a warm sunny self but keep your heart while testing the waters.
Don't let him stay over next time.
I'd give him a second chance just going on this one story and I'm by no means a "walk-over"! Believe me! | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:35:55 PM | I think it's time to smell the coffee brewing babe. 
If after the first night he did not jump your bones.....there should be some warning bells ringing. 
The guy flips you to party with his buds.. (not usual for relationship startups) ....I don't know... but if I were you.... before I had sex with that guy I would definitely wrap him in latex ...otherwise you might find a nastry e-coli infection in your drawers.
Sounds to me like the guy is a flaming homosexual. 
Time to cast your fishing pole out to catch another fish  | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:08:48 PM | | I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've done similar things in the past and I've had the same happen to me too. I don't agree that he should get the benefit of the doubt though. He had something come up that he wanted to do more than the thing with you. The phone stuff should be an aside, not an excuse. From a GUY'S point of view, it's probably an indicator of future behavior, but only if you keep the relationship going. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:12:32 PM | maybe he covered himself in peanut butter and had a 20 hooker orgy.
but really tho, shit happens. i think you're just reading way too much into it. if it becomes a pattern of blowing you off then something is up.. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:15:35 PM | From the responses here, I guess I'm just much more forgiving.
Someone's gotta make a major blunder before I'll completely write them off. Too many one strike and you're out type people here. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:29:25 AM |
Get a hobby.
Does posting here counts?
I have hung out with this guy twice now, each time he stayed at my place over night because we were drinking.
things got out of control with his buddy and he ended up not waking up in time to come back Sat night, and then his phone was dead
Am I the only one to see the trend here?
I'd be more concerned about him having the drinking problem than about missing the party.
But, that's just me...
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:51:36 AM | | Kinda sounds like he had a good time with his buddy and did not have a fone charger with him............ i just cannot see a problem here! | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:53:49 AM |
Should I give him another chance to make it up to me?
You're not serious... or are you?
You've only seen the guy twice, each time he stayed over at your place and you two were drinking and getting all hot & bothered with each other... Does that really sound to you like the beginning of a grounded relationship where the guy owes you something?
There is nothing for him to make up to you, it's a joke.
I don't want to waste my time.
But that's exactly what you both have done with one another, is waste your time. Neither of you apparently had any intentions of forming any sort of mutually respectful friendship where consideration for each other would be expected. If either of you had any intention of treating the other with anything resembling respect, then your first experiences together would not have been what they were. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:37:24 AM | I agree with a few other people that said give him some slack for now, if it turns into a repeated thing then it's not worth it.
I do agree with Red though, how come nobody has mentioned the boozing yet. You said the first two times you guys met neither of you were sober enough to do any driving, and then he followed that up with a whole weekend of boozing with the guys. Doesn't exactly seem like a great foundation for any budding relationship for either of you. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:13:13 PM | It's amazing how their phones always die out and they can't retrive your number on certain occasions isn't it?????????
JJ | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:22:22 PM | | Sounds like you have a trust issue. The guy gave you a perfectly good explanation. It's a new relationship so don't be so needy. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:23:57 PM | Hmm... I think he went up to see a *budette* on the Island and the date spilled into the rest of the weekend. The explanations he gave are *that* lame, gotta say that.
Even if he couldn't call, if he really wanted to, he obviously could have emailed you, at the very least, in here, from NY. I assume it's a big enough town to have internet cafes? Last time I was over at Battery Park, it looked sizable enough ;-).
Sure, he likes you. But I'm guessing the brakes got put on those first two sleepover dates, you two didn't have the "are we a couple?" chat, and he got a better offer in the meantime...
Cowboy | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:00:07 PM | Move on! This is the Internet! Thousands of men will want to get with you and maybe five will be suitable.
You seem awesome. Hang in there. | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:17:30 AM | let me see.... phone goes to voicemail, then it was dead, and then it was in NY. pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssee! do me a favour!
you were an option to him whereas you saw him as a priority. been done to death here, but this phrase (slowly becoming cliched) applies: never make someone a priority if they only make you an option | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:10:55 AM | You shouldn't worry, or analyze the situation too deeply. Your gut is almost always right. We're designed by nature to innately have survival like instincts, which is why we get, " vibes", about people. I think you don't need advice. Nothing is wrong with gambling if its done in moderation, even relating to dating. Good luck
JJ | |
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| What should I do after this blow off?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:30:34 AM | I'd say its legitiment cause lord knows if you freaking call and call call, and text and leave voicemail, he probably didn't hear or if it was on vibrate feel his phone. That will kill the battery, also to be geeky techy that I am I know that EV based networks will drain the crap out of the battery, especially if he is in an area of poor digital service.
I would give him benefit of the doubt, and make some new plans.
Lord knows I sleep in a lot longer if I am drunk.
Cheers
Bobby | |
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