| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:53:49 AM | Please take a few minutes to do something for our children and the future of our country.
Visit this link and sign the "Shared Parenting Petition"
http://www.acfc.org/site/PageServer?pagename=homepage
Forward the link to everyone you know and ask them to do the same.
Thanks to all who do.
Kenny | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:18:19 AM | I disagree, one parent giving all a child needs is happening all the time.
I do however think male and female roles should be played in a childs life, In my situation they have 4 brother-in-laws and 2 grandfathers who make a fuss of the girls, then I have 4 sisters and mum, grandma etc
A family network and stability is what a child needs, not nessassary 2 parents. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:02:15 AM | ^^ I agree.
While shared parenting is great in the ideal world there is often extenuating circumstances.
While I don't agree that one parent should take precendence over another, nor a child held as a pawn, there sometimes are issues that should be taken into account when allowing shared custody and/or access.
What if one parent or the other has substance abuse issues, untreated mental health problems, is abusive in some way, is irresponsible or is involved in illegal activities ?
In situations such as these (and others) the child(ren) is better off to be in a permanent stable home that provides the security and love necessary to thrive.
I also believe that a parent should either be in the child's life or not. These fair weather paremts who come and go on a whim are not being fair or providing a good influence on their offspring.
All children should indeed have good role models of both sexes in their lives, but unfortunately this is not always the parent.
Biology should not always be the determing factor. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:40:40 AM | 1. Two good parents sharing the job is better than one parent doing it alone. It can be done well alone, if both parents are loving and committed to the job, they should be able to.
2. I wish I knew exactly what this petition is advocating and where. But I'm not signing an online petition. What good can that do?
3. I'm pretty sure you can't post a message like this. Likely to be deleted when the mods find it. | |
|
| |
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:57:46 AM | Kenny:
Good to see a man taking a stand in favor of the children. I support ACFC, American Coalition for Fathers and Children because the work they do in mitigating the destructive impact of The Family Law system in the lives of children is crucial to our country.
As a single dad, who is the former spouse of a woman whose father was also her (very effective) divorce lawyer, I can tell you from direct first hand knowledge that the damage done to the country by the way that fathers are routinely extracted from their families is being seen now in the crime rate rising - and will continue to be seen in the erosion of the family institution.
Even though my former spouse did a number on me, and even though I have had repeated opportunities to take sole custody, morally I have always held firm that the best parent for a child is both parents.
Recently, I could have taken sole custody when my former spouse decided to move across the country to finish her degree. I had an order in place and it would have caused her to lose custody of our child and I would have taken full custody.
My kid is not a meal ticket, or a pawn or a device to be used to get one up on the woman I once loved - my kid is the thing I love most in life and the future of our Nation.
Therefore, I left my very successful business practice, pulled up stakes and moved across the country (actually the mom rented the u-haul and I drove) so that my kid will always be able to see both parents without interruption in her precious life.
MEN - TAKE NOTICE - FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT - STAY ON THE MORAL HIGH ROAD - OUR KIDS ARE THE FUTURE OF THE NATION! | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:35:00 AM | Dreamboat ... you are to be commended for making extraordinary sacrifices for your child. I 'm sure that while this was not easy, it is the most beneficial to all concerned.
HOWEVER, not all fathers are willing to go the the extremes that you have. Many find it difficult to stay sober long enough for a visit. Or plenty refuse to partake in a court ordered parenting class to provide them with the basic skills they lack.
If all parents had the strong sense of responsibility that you appear to have a petition like this would not be needed. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:48:57 AM |
Shared parenting might be ideal, but, sometimes, that other parent might have some issues that could be damaging to a child.
ditto | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:47:28 AM | Kids need and should have every right to know and love both parents. Obviously there are instances where that's not possible, but where it is, every effort should be made. Bravo!!  | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:08:40 PM | A child should have both parents in theor lives unless one parent is not fit to be a parent. Why some people would not support that petition is beyond me.
We need to value the family unit as a society more than we do. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:41:43 PM | | Dreamboat: Good on ya!! The sacrifices you made for your children, will come back to you "pressed down, shaken together & running over". And let me say that your wife was a fool to let you go. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:05:45 PM |
We need to value the family unit as a society more than we do.
This is correct, however the both parents part is factually wrong.
I'm studying at the moment to work with children and as part of my course is to understand how any family member plays an important role in a childs life and this doesn't need to be a parent.
Part of my work is to understand single parent family life and as long as consistancy, support and security is in a family unit, wether it come from a aunte, grandparent etc, the facts prove a second parent is wanted but not always needed. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:15:45 PM | As part of your studying and learning to understand, be sure to note the statistics on children that grow up without a meaningful relationship with their father. You will find a higher crime rate, poverty rate, along with many other emotional and social disadvantages. Those are facts.
Fathers, don't abandon your children. Stay in their lives. Mothers, as much as they are able/willing, keep fathers in the lives of your children. It gives them their best shot at a happy well adjusted life. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:06:18 PM | I have long followed studies on the effect of single parent homes on children. Study after study - and we now have tracking studies that are decades long; following the kids all the way into their twenties - lead to the following conclusions:
1. children do best in two parent homes.
2. the only single parent homes where the children do about as well is where they have high income
3. the next best thing is very high involvement from both parents.
* the parent's education is an influencing factor, which can help mitigate the effects of being raised in a single parent family.
I support that our default position should be to consider shared parenting first. If there are reasons why this would not work... and it is certainly not for everyone, or for every situation... then don't do it. But it is clearly in the best interests of the child to have both parents involved. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:32:09 PM |
A family network and stability is what a child needs, not nessassary 2 parents.
Lose the Billary socialist nonsense. Study after Study after Study says 100% opposite, 2 parents bred lifes winners. I'm not getting into it because most people can't handle the truth. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:33:44 PM |
I have long followed studies on the effect of single parent homes on children. Study after study - and we now have tracking studies that are decades long; following the kids all the way into their twenties - lead to the following conclusions:
references? | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:34:15 PM | .
the only single parent homes where the children do about as well is where they have high income
You're absolutly right, and should elaborate by mentioning what gender fills the roll of point #2 ninty percent of the time.
The boys need a pat on the back once in a while. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:58:29 PM |
Study after Study after Study says 100% opposite, 2 parents bred lifes winners. I'm not getting into it because most people can't handle the truth.
Again, some of you have a bad habit of trying to put everyone in the same neat little pigeon hole. Here's a short list of people who have gone on to be successful, did NOT "come from money" and were raised by one parent only. You may recognize a name or two ...
Tom Cruise
Barack O'Bama
Matt Lauer (from the Today Show)
Oprah Winfrey
Clarence Thomas (US Supreme Court Judge)
and Gerald Ford (he was 16 days old when his parents separated - and went on to be the 38th President of the United States. Too bad he didn't have two parents or he might have become one of "life's winners", huh?)
Although I'm not saying that having divorced parents is the best for children, it's also not the end all and be all of their lives. Children of divorced parents CAN, and some DO, go on to become leaders, or at the very least, have very successful careers.
And THAT, Vet, is the "truth". BTW ... I took a look at your profile. There are an awful lot of "prefer not to say" answers in it. Are you afraid the rest of us can't handle the truth about you? 
Oh, and could you please site the studies that you're referring to? I'd like to take a look at them for myself. Thanks!  | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:58:25 PM | Nobody is saying that a single parent home dooms a child to failure. We all surely agree that there are even times that it's best for certain parents to disappear.
I don't think we are even arguing here. Just getting mad. Is it about the word "need?"
How about this: "If both parents love their children and are willing and able to be involved in their lives, it is best for the children if they are."
The facts do support the notion that two parents are better than one. Here is a search that yielded lots of backup:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=single+parent+homes+vs+two+parent+homes+studies | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:34:59 PM |
How about this: "If both parents love their children and are willing and able to be involved in their lives, it is best for the children if they are
That's the key though isn't it, both parents loving their children and WILLING to be in their lives. I am all for shared parenting when both parties want a part of the children's lives. In my case my exhusband walked away from the kid,s, signed off on mehaving sole custody and hasn't looked back. In 7 years he has seen the kids 5 times. We left when they were toddlers(18 months and 2.5) they are now hitting puberty, it's pretty sad. So 2 parents may ultimately be best for the child but some of us have no choice but to be the best lone parent to our kids. I guarantee my kids will be just as successful as any of their 2-parented peers as I refuse to let them become a statistic.
I think it is better for my kids to hvae 1 parent who is 100% there for them than having their dad flit in and out of their lives just so we can say they have 2 parents. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:38:50 AM | There are very few here that "planned to fail" by way of consciously deciding to be a single parent or by default "failing to plan" by selecting the wrong partner. Some negative life experiences don't manifest themselves until later in life.
Ideally most of us feel that a two role model family is what we committed to, but if the other parent does things that aren't in the children's best interest, then the only alternative is to do the best we can as far as ourselves and our village is concerned. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:37:41 AM | My ex and I split up when my daughter was just a toddler. He could have been a very positive part of her upbringing, but he chose not to be.
My daughter has always had a keen interest in sports, an attribute she picked up from her father....I do too, but he was the athlete. He was a college basketball player in his day, played hockey, volleyball, was a fastball pitcher in rec league ball, and for a number of years was a competitive bodybuilder.
Now, he could have been here for her in her formative years, taking her to the park, the rink, or hoops to teach her the games and have quality time with her. He chose not to. Instead, he became addicted to gambling, would think nothing of blowing $3,000 in a weekend of playing poker at a casino in Calgary, but then did not have money to pay child support and help pay for all the sports I had my daughter in. He also had some issues with promiscuity and it was more important to him to go get laid than visit his daughter. I know this because he told me himself.
So, I did it alone, did my best to give my daughter the best upbringing I could, ensured she could participate in the sports she loved.
It is sad that he could have been so influential in her life, but chose not to be because of his own selfish needs.
Today, they are developing a relationship, but I doubt they will ever be close and he and I are able to have a 'friendly' relationship as well. I hold no ill feelings towards him any more. He has had his demons to deal with and perhaps, my daughter was better off with him not being around much.
Anyway, I guess I vented a bit here, my apologies for that, but that's my story...My daughter has grown into a lovely, well-adjusted young lady and for that I am very fortunate!!! | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:55:26 AM |
Again, some of you have a bad habit of trying to put everyone in the same neat little pigeon hole.
Knock off the shaming tactics and lose the "just because 1 lesbian can climb mt everest means potentially all women can."
Comments were based on what 90% of the people are doing, from countless studies, years of research. You refer to a very small percentage of success that isn't getting larger. | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:21:57 AM | | I disagree with your comment re kids need both parents...its the 21st century not the 19th and with relationship breakdowns occuring more frequently their is more support for individual people who are the main carers who hold responsibility for their children...furthermore, not everyone wants to stay in touch with their kids for whatever reasons...kids can and do get support from their community, schools, church etc...as I said we live in the 21st century where more support is available, of course in an ideal world it would be fab to have both parents i dont deny that...but, if a relationship breaks down for whatever reason as long as the parent who is left with the children (in most cases the mother) is well informed their is support out their for her and the children....blog over lol | |
|
| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:01:40 AM | While I agree that children need both their parents in some cases this is not possible or could be damaging to the child.
My daughters dad has never seen her and refuses to aknowledge she even exists. He has never paid a penny for her and if I see him out he wil turn his head the other way. I have brought her up completely by myself and i dont think she is any worse off for it. However I must add if he ever did want to see her the door would always be open. Because I do believe every father has the right to see his child no matter what mistakes he has made in the past, so long as they are resolved. | |
|
Home
login 
