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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:33:12 AM | This is a question asked a lot among firearms enthusiasts.
Many women, it seems, are turned off by the idea of firearms, or the date being into them. Additionally, most states in the United States have some form or other of licensing to carry a concealed handgun.
Some of us believe in being upfront about our lifestyle, while others figure it's a good idea to get a few dates under the belt before talking about it. I'm one of the former, as it seems to be a barrier these days and I like to get things like that out in the open.
Chances are you know someone who has a permit to carry a pistol, and the chances are even greater of passing people on the street each and every day who are legally carrying. We just don't advertise the fact, because it scares people.
We do this because we've decided to take responsibility for our own safety. Of course, safety courses and training are mandatory. Most people I know who have made the decision to carry firearms are better trained and practiced than most police officers.
Additionally, pistol wounds do less damage than a knife. Knife wound damage from your average pocket knife can be worse than a shotgun blast, depending on the cut.
My point is, the fear seems to be irrational, or simply due to ignorance of the machine.
Freud did say that an irrational fear of weapons is a sign of sexual and emotional retardation.
My questions are these:
1. If your date carries a pistol, or is into the shooting lifestyle, would you want to know before the first date?
2. What, to your mind, are the positives about your date taking responsibility for his own safety, and yours, by carrying a pistol legally?
3. What are the negatives of same?
Remember, when seconds count, the police are only minutes away. As well, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled years back that the police have no duty to protect you as an individual, but rather protect the State from the People, and that the People are responsible for their own welfare.
And please, if you choose to answer, please keep politics and propaganda to a minimum. For example, the Brady Campaign is a propaganda machine. To be fair, I've seen the NRA be just as bad with propaganda at times. I'm not looking to start a war here.
To me, a woman who carries a firearm tells me, by that action, that she is ready and willing to defend herself and those she loves. It also tells me that she is more than likely mentally stable, because she would have had to get a background check (which includes a check of any psychological records) in order to have the license. I admire it, in other words.
What are your thoughts? | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:39:24 AM | | Not afraid of guns here....grew up around them, began shooting at the age of 7. I do not have a gun at the moment, but don't have a problem with someone who does, as long as he takes the proper precautions with it...ie: safety on, never leave a loaded gun in the home, put trigger locks on, etc. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:41:09 AM | Always a topic that pits liberals against conservatives... why not just bring up sex and religon as well.
Women inherently don't like violence or anything to do with violence and guns of any type fit into that "anything" category.
Women also have self preservation to think about and a man who carries a gun or who has one readily available could turn violent on her.
I would suggest you take your dates skeet shooting... its fun, its a new challenge for most of them, it shows them there are sporting things to do with a weapon that doesn't involve killing anything and teaching them involves lots of touching and help and patience... three things most women also like. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:50:30 AM | I'm sorry Gunsmith,but I think a man who has to carry a firearm isn't a man at all.
Americans pay an awful price(children accidentally killed every year) for their constitutional right. That part of the constitution is badly out of date in this day and age,and should be immediately changed. Like many things in this world,the fact that someone wants to carry a gun should immediately disqualify them from having one. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:55:40 AM | IMHO, omitting a truth, such as that you (sometimes) carry a weapon, would be a worse deal breaker than the weapon itself. I would definitely want to know.
The positives of carrying? Can't think of any.
The negatives? An accident. Having it used against me. Having it used against my date. Having it used in poor judgment against an innocent person. Carrying can give someone a sense of superiority, which is a turn-off. Our govt and FOX Noise generates more than enough fear for me, and I don't need my date to create more.
Instead of learning how to kill, I have studied first aid - basic, CPR, and wilderness. I prefer to put myself in a position to help others than to harm. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:11:33 AM | Canoist, you are of course aware that for cardiac arrest victims, the prescribed method is now chest compressions only as the body is saturated with enough oxygen as to preclude the necessity of mouth to mouth in most situations, correct? This is safer for the responder(s) and it's something you may be learning this year if you re-up through the Red Cross.
The first aid you mention is why I was certified as a first responder and carry a card that shows my certification as "CPR: Basic life support for the professional rescuer."
In other words Sir, one does not preclude the other at all.
Carrying can give someone a sense of superiority, which is a turn-off. Our govt and FOX Noise generates more than enough fear for me, and I don't need my date to create more.
I do believe you're making generalizations which are also bordering on political and propaganda, and those are the areas I stated that I was attempting to avoid. Please reference the original post. Thank you. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:13:27 AM | I guess it would all depend on the circumstances. My city is pretty safe and I would find it strange that a man I dated felt it was necessary to carry a handgun. I don't live in a huge metropolitan area, so its not like crime rate is high here.
If he had to carry one for work, it would be different, but to walk around with one when there is a very slight chance of anyone attacking him around here is just weird.
The thing is..I would wonder why he felt the need to protect himself. I think I'd ask myself if he's the type of person that welcomes trouble, or has a tendency to go out and find it. In which case I wouldn't want that type of person in my life. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:30:13 AM |
1. If your date carries a pistol, or is into the shooting lifestyle, would you want to know before the first date?
Probably, but I grew up around guns so they don't really bother me. The reason I would want to know is to remind him that it's illegal to carry concealed in my city, whether or not the same gun is permitted elsewhere. I was highly annoyed when my sister was dating someone who had a permit and I had to remind him to keep his gun in the car when he was out by me (he was a prison guard and was licensed to carry in his home state, but not in mine). I really don't want to have to bail someone out of jail.
2. What, to your mind, are the positives about your date taking responsibility for his own safety, and yours, by carrying a pistol legally?
Honestly, I would wonder why he felt the need to carry all the time, but if he needed to carry one for work, I would understand completely. I'm not sure what the positives really are, since I try my best not to put myself in situations where "protection" such as that would be needed.
3. What are the negatives of same?
I don't think there are negatives, either. I don't deny the fact that I live in a relatively rough neighborhood, but I also feel relatively safe here because I use common sense and stay out of other people's business. I would just wonder if he was the type of guy that invited situations where he though protection would be needed. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:31:23 AM | Ooooh! I guess I really pushed some of your buttons there?!!?
And what I said was really not that provocative. How is it that someone who gets upset so very easily can pass the psych tests to carry?
And, how is stating what is a turn-off political? That makes no sense at all.
I do, however, agree that one both carry and heal. I only choose one. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:44:09 AM |
The negatives? An accident. Having it used against me. Having it used against my date. Having it used in poor judgment against an innocent person. Carrying can give someone a sense of superiority, which is a turn-off. Our govt and FOX Noise generates more than enough fear for me, and I don't need my date to create more.
i always hate it when my gun goes off during a date. things get messy... | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:46:50 AM | Hello. No, no buttons pushed. You were just edging into a boundary I had initially set - How someone feels, personally, about his or her date carrying a firearm is rarely politically motivated. It may be motivated by propaganda, as you displayed, and the right or wrong of firearms ownership is not up for debate. This post is about the date's feelings, and that's all it's about.
I feel you were trying to make a political statement, and I called you on it. If I was mistaken in the way I read your post, I do sincerely apologize. However, I will not back down on the boundaries I intentionally set. If I wanted a political commentary, or if I wanted to argue the right or wrong of firearms possession, I'd not bring it up on this board but rather go to an internet site devoted to such arguments.
To those who have answered my questions thus far, I do wish to thank you. It's good to get the opinions of the public at large - indeed, the world at at large - than just opinions from like minded folks, on this subject. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:51:15 AM |
1. If your date carries a pistol, or is into the shooting lifestyle, would you want to know before the first date?
Not really. It's not an issue or deal breaker for me.
2. What, to your mind, are the positives about your date taking responsibility for his own safety, and yours, by carrying a pistol legally?
These days, especially in my county - it's quite reassuring actually.
3. What are the negatives of same?
No negatives at all.
It also tells me that she is more than likely mentally stable, because she would have had to get a background check (which includes a check of any psychological records) in order to have the license. I admire it, in other words.
Here I would be careful in making presumptions that absence of psychological records indicates a person is mentally stable. Mentally stable enough to obtain the license doesn't necessarily mean mentally stable in other aspects within the parameters of being able to sustain a healthy relationship. I've dated men who carry and have been quite mentally stable. Conversely, I've encountered a couple of individuals who carry concealed legally and had the mental strength to responsibly handle the weapon, yet put them in a relationship? Anything but mentally stable (the weapon itself was not handled irresponsibly by either).
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:53:04 AM | If you feel this much of a need to defend your passion...then yeah, you better get it out in the open on the first date.
apparently, its a polarizer. What defense and a date have in common, I really have no idea. Don't take your date to sleezy places, you're supposed to be impressing them :) Stay aware of your surroundings, don't be macho and walk to your car when strangers are standing about, don't go where you don't belong, and wouldncha know, you tend to avoid problems like most people 
To me, a few drinks with a stranger with a loaded gun...um... | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:39:27 AM | As a Canadian I find this thread fascinating!
My point is, the fear seems to be irrational, or simply due to ignorance of the machine.
When I read this point, I have to ask, who has the more irrational fear here? The person packing or the person who doesnt want to be around loaded weapons?
You lost me when you started making comparisons to knife wounds, making claims that gun owners are better at handling firearms that the police and that because someone has a liscence that means they are stable. Sounds like an advert for the NRA. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:59:54 AM | First to princlyfrog message #3. You have bought into the propaganda, you may even be unaware of it, your statement regarding shooting and not killing anything shouts the "anti" heaped on us by the "anti's". Many of us hunt and consume our harvest.
Second; I have a concealed carry permit, only obtained after TWO armed robberies at one of my business. I put the word out in our community that I was carrying and NO further robberies. Chalk it up to whatever you will, but it worked for me.
Third; to those that would allow a firearm in the home, but require it to be unloaded, trigger locked, hidden, etc., you may as well have a rock instead for all the protection an unloaded gun would give. I am a believer and practitioner of gun safety, (I have grand children)
I do carry, hardly ever concealed, but I feel no additional superiority or power ideas that I do not have when I'm not carrying, lol.
I would carry on a date if I were dating, lol.
Just my humble opinion above, not looking to get in a shoot out with anyone.
Solver | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:26:09 AM | Msg. 3 - I'm a woman and I don't associate guns with violence any more than I would a car. As far as my own self-preservation, that's my responsibility and accountability. Whether a man carries or not, it's not relevant in determining one's propensity to turn violent. Only offering a woman's perspective. :-)
Personally, I rather like going to the range. I'd even go hunting for that matter although, IME, it's considered to be more of a man thing. Nothing like fresh venison cooked properly.
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:00:36 AM |
My questions are these:
1. If your date carries a pistol, or is into the shooting lifestyle, would you want to know before the first date?
Definitely. And I would cancel the date immediately -- we're obviously not a good match.
2. What, to your mind, are the positives about your date taking responsibility for his own safety, and yours, by carrying a pistol legally?
To me, there are no positives to carrying a gun whether it's through legal means or not, but that's me.
3. What are the negatives of same?
There are too many reasons for me to list , with some of them bordering on being for "political" reasons which this thread forbids -- let's just say that I see absolutely no reason for anyone to carry a gun on their person unless it's required for their work.
Freud did say that an irrational fear of weapons is a sign of sexual and emotional retardation.
Lol! According to Freud, everybody is sexually and emotionally repressed so that's kind of a moot point isn't it? 
And besides, it's not the weapons I fear...
JMHO | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:23:45 AM | First off before I interject my opinion, let me make the following statements to avoid being "discredited" as a peace-loving liberal hippie:
1) You have a constitutional right to bear your firearms, and while I believe it is outdated, so long as the law is what it is, I'm not going to fight you on it 
2) A firearm is a TOOL, neither good nor evil, although it's destructive potential force cannot be denied, and should indeed be respected.
That being said, while the gun is just a "tool", the problem I have is that usually so is the person coveting/carrying/using it! 
Sure people have to have various background/psychological checks to obtain a firearm legally, but all that proves is that they haven't committed a crime nor gone off the deep end... YET 
We license people to drive, we license people to fly, we license people to hunt. Just because they passed the test doesn't make them responsible nor infallible, we see people f^@k up on the roads daily, costing property/lives. Licensed firearm owners are no different, they are human, and thus inevitably prone to failure.
What would concern me the most with a non-hunting firearm bearer, i.e. one that uses it solely for a sense of "personal protection", is their NEED for a firearm, and whether they truly believe that just carrying around a concealed gun renders them invincible to attack.
I believe in self-defense starting with a state of mind, like we train in martial arts class. A heightened and PERPETUAL state of vigilance where one is paying attention to one's surroundings at all times and constantly assessing their personal situation. I don't let ANYONE come within 10 feet of me when I'm walking down the street, and anyone that does is under my constant scrutiny during the entire interval we cross paths. Call me paranoid if you will, but I don't trust anyone until I've been able to identify them or they're lying limp at my feet. 
I realize that not everyone out there is physically fit, strong, nor able-bodied. Not everyone is going to be able to sprint away from danger, and no one can necessarily fend off every attacker. But a gun isn't necessarily the solution to your problems, trying to avoid putting yourself in dangerous situations IS... 
EVERY weapon must be REACHED FOR. And if you're inattentive enough to be caught by surprise you aren't going to have the split second necessary to draw & remove the safety before you need it (and if you're walking around with the safety off, you get what you deserve should you accidentally shoot someone or blow your balls off from a misfire...  ) | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:38:33 AM | This thread has me proud to be a Canuck.
I could date somebody that hunts with shotguns and rifles. Hand guns should stay where we have legislated them to be... on the firing range for target practice!
Figured I'd add my opinion now that the exchange rate says my .02 cents are worth the same as my US neighbours.
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:06:00 AM | with rising crime rates, why would americans choose not to carry? and carrying has nothing to do with putting yourself in harms way...it finds you, we don't go looking for trouble. i for one hope that i never have to use it, yet with the training, i'm confident in my ability to stop a bad situation from getting worse.
for those that think all weapons are "evil" do you want me to ask you how you feel about being helped when street thugs want to cave your head in with a crow bar or do you want me to disperce the thugs? makes no difference to me either way, they can't and won't harm me...i'll protect myself.
another thing to think about, carry or not, it's better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6...choice is yours...excerise it as you see fit. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:12:09 AM | you only need a permit to carry concealed.
we used to walk into stores at home carrying pistols on belts.
we left the shotguns in the truck. nobody cared.
my 44mag with a 10 inch barrel is fun.
my 50BMG will be more fun when it gets here. heehee!
there, that'll sort 'em out! | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:38:10 AM | 1) If a knife really wounds better than a gun (I'll debate that, even not using lead bullets), then why only carry a gun? Sounds like someone isn't ready to defend themselves, according to this logic :)
2) Many home robberies occur during the daytime, to avoid the potential gun in the face. But, let's say you do get woken up at 2am...well, let's take a simple test. The last time you got woken by the call of nature...didya hit the bowl? If you turn the lights on, how long did it take for your eyes to adjust? B/c that's what the muzzle blast is gonna do.
Now, if you do fire your gun inside your own house every now and then, you've practiced, and have a better chance in that situation...but how many fire their gun regularly inside the house? I can guess the number...b/c its freakin' LOUD in confined spaces.
Like with all other solutions to a problem...try 'em out before you get into that problem. You may find the solution causes new problems, so you need a different solution.... | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:55:16 PM | Ladies'n'Gents,
I wish to thank you, especially those of you who left politics and propaganda out of the discussion. | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:06:37 PM | 1 - Sure. I'd like to know, it'd be cool to know someone into it and the fact that I'm going to do the same thing, it would be something fairly in common. I'm not a hunter or into it as sporting or anything, so that would just be something I didn't do, if that's how far they went with it.
2 - Uh... the fact they feel it's in their best interest to do everything in their power to keep themselves safe from harm?
3 - Nothing. The concealed carry permit requires classes and 'training' which means that it's not likely someone will do something stupid with it.
First and foremost, it is YOUR responsibility to protect YOURSELF. You're the first person that can do anything to protect you. Sure, you can call the cops, but by then, who knows what would have happened. You could be laying there dead before you get a chance, however, if you have some way to protect yourself, it's an added defense.
Pretty much, you're the first line of defense for yourself. Look after yourself, don't count on others to be able to. There are not always others there and there are not always people who will be ABLE to. I think it shows some initiative and someone being concerned enough with their own safety and a brain in their head to take the steps to get a concealed carry permit and carry with them.
Not to mention that in order to even get the permit here, you have to have no history of violence and whatever other rules and regulations they have to even get that far, otherwise, it's illegal to carry a concealed weapon. What are the odds someone will go through 21+ years, no violent history, have a permit and gun on them, then go on a shooting spree?
To add some, I do like guns. I really find them fascinating. Not in a mesmerizing way, but just the simple fact of how they work grabs my attention. I have airsoft guns that I use (oh so realistic, I'll be a trained assassin in no time!) and I actually want to be more comfortable with guns all together. I've shot a few times but even though it was a chunk of wood I have this irrational worry that the bullet will somehow ricochet and come back at me. I just wish the things weren't so damn loud! | |
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| Firearms and Dating
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:55:01 PM | Ok there is different ways to handle this.
Me I would carry without letting my date know it.
Why because this way she is concentrating on the date & getting to know me.
Where as if she is uneducated on guns & proper usage she would be focusing more on that then enjoying each others company.
Now I got pissed when I saw that it's not manly to feel the need to carry.
I would rather carry & be ready should the need be to use then be a victim cause you were not carrying.
I have no issue if someone is uneasy with feeling of possible having to deal with the issue of taking another persons life but dont go making statements about manly or not when it comes to guns.
Now how would I feel if my female date was carrying.
I would feel great cause I would know that she & I have a common interest.
Now for negs on this issue.
Yes me not telling her that I have the training & experience & responsiblities of carrying & that I'm carrying on the date might be seen as a trust issue, but that can be explained so as to show that I wanted her to get to know me & about me. | |
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