| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:11:25 AM | I am definatly going to be reverting back to my maiden name soon and am considering changing my children also, I have checked out the wedsite and it does state if the father is untraceable, does not pay any legal maintenance or legally contribute than I can change the childrens surnames too (which they wish to do also) with a letter of consent provided by the me the primary carer.
There is no way my ex would ever consent to this and he does not pay, see or do I have an address for him (which is a problem at the moment for divorce)
At first I thought it may be wrong of me to change the girls surnames but now Im changing my mind, My children who I do all the feed, clothe and love for deserve better than to have his name.
What are your thoughts and has anybody done this with or without getting your ex's consent? and is it difficult without their consent?
All of us can change on a family deed for 40 pounds which sounds pretty fantastic to me. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:28:50 AM | My mom changed my name with the Justice of peace when I was 5 and she got married.
She did not have to contact the sperm donor to do this. He was not a part of my life and had not been for ages.
I am unsure what she would have had to have done had she done it by deed poll.
Good luck. I can see why you want to change their names. If he has nothing to do witht hem, then you may aswell have a fresh start. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:33:25 AM | | I understand the bitterness and resentment towards your ex but please remember these are your feelings and not those of your children. Leave the name change until they are old enough to understand and then, if they wish, they can make the decision for themselves. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:40:35 AM | Bitterness and resentment are not my reasons.
Reasons would be his lack of interest and involvment and not paying his way! other that that, my name will be changed and it would be nice for us all to keep the same name, my children say they would like to be my maiden name the same as all there, aunt, uncles, grandparetns and cousins.
Their father is scum, no doubt about it, I think my kids deserve better than to have a wife beaters name and also a name that has a bad reputation around our area. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:42:36 AM | There is no way my ex would ever consent to this and he does not pay, see or do I have an address for him (which is a problem at the moment for divorce)
I'm a dab hand at forging signatures if u want a hand! :D
Normally I'd be on the boat of supporting the bloke, but in this instance he just seems like a bit of a tw*t. I'd say go for it, you do all the hard work, why should his family name live on through your childrens achievements! Peace, good luck! | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:29:16 AM | I reverted to my maiden name as soon as I separated from my ex, you don't need to do it by deed poll, you just re-adopt it (it's the name on your birth cert after all). My daughter also wants to adopt my name, she has written to her father to ask but he refuses to allow it, the court order which grants me residence forbids me from having her known by any other name. I appraoched a solicitor and he told us that without her father's consent, there is nothing we can do until she is 18.
Good luck OP, hope you manage to resolve things one way or the other. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:52:59 AM | i changed both my childrens surnames aswell as my own full names by deedpoll back in 2000 , due to the fact of having a violent ex and moving away from everything we knew , the change of names was agreed by my solicitor so my ex could not trace us ..so i didnt need his consent at all .
i have since gone on to marry and then seperate from my husband but will be dropping his name from mine and reverting back to my *maiden* name. Luckily i didnt change my childrens names then , so they still have their surnames the same .
the best thing i would advise is speak to your solicitor if you have one and hopefully they can do it for you ,or even citizens advice ., good luck | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:58:33 AM | The website should have also defined parental responsibility re the absent father, if you have joint parental responsibility then any change of name by deed poll could be challenged. You can either consult a family law solicitor or the family law court re: leave to apply to change the children's name, and an appropriate order might be granted. Untraceable normally refers to outside of the UK, you would need to give a detailed account of what steps you have made to trace the children's father and details of failed contact.
^^^ re citizens advice they would refer you to a family law solicitor. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:11:52 AM | You can change your childrens name by deed poll or a statutary declaration
however if you married the childs father he will retain parental responsibility no matter if he is not around or paying any maintenance, even after divorce.
If it is for every day purposes then it would be fine however if you want a passport or legal document you will be asked for fathers written permission
you could get a order from the court, to change the childrens names without fathers consent a solicitor will try and trace the father on your behalf.
when your child is 16 they can offically change their name by deed poll with out parents consent as from sept 07. before that is was 18 years old .
save your money and get a statutory declaration fromt the solicitor they are cheaper than a change of name deed.
I work for the goverment and deal with these cases every day and it can be very upsetting for the parent. laws are different if born scotland and resident in scotland | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:30:34 AM | you can call your children anything you want to ..eg change the surname , even if not legally.. as long as you inform local authority eg school, benefits agency if claiming..as long as you arent looking to defraud anyone its ok...i changed my self and both my children back to my madien name when my marriage ended..easy..and my son recently changed his name by deed pole when he was 19. his own choice!!
you dont need ex,s consent just to change names but i think you need it if the change is legal through deed pole. may of changed..best check it out. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:52:54 AM | Cheeky
From a mans point of view it is not fair.
Nomatter what the child has right to determine its name. I had a step daughter and she was 9 I asked her if she wished to change her name from her dads to mine, bearing in mind he was a complete tosser, and I shouldn’t have to explain so I won’t!
She still said no!
So it truly and with all the respect in the world. It is not your decision, unless he was truly abusive towards that child?
Let the child make up her own mind! Because one day she will have!
And without the fathers consent it is not legal. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:05:43 PM | ^^^^ would you consider it wrong to change their names un-officially too?
Say I changed, school, doctors etc, then when they are each 16 they can decide for themselves legally.
But you are wrong about one thing, I'm afraid it is my decision and I determine that he wants no part of their lives now he is not with me so why should my children carry their achievments under his name when I do all the graft? | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:13:02 PM | Just a thought.........
You decided to divorce your ex ( who sounds like a bit if a git ) so you have every right to revert to your maiden name.
Your children ( I am guessing ) did not take part in the decision to divorce. They were born when their parents shared the same name so they were given that name too.
I think they should keep the name until they can decide for themselves. Just my opinion.
As to doing things unofficially or in a way that may or not be legal ? Best to do it by the book ! | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:23:19 PM | It is perfect legal to do it unofficially, My sister did it, her kids are 24 and 22 now and ended up reverting back to there dads name because they didnt want their stepdads name (who is a bigger ass that the first)
I would not change the childrens name to another mans name if I was to remarry, I regret changing my name last time, once bitten twice shy! | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:27:45 PM | | i waited till my kids were 16 then they made their own mind up, they changed to my name so we could all be the same, awwwwwww. yes u guessed i never married but they got registered in their dads name. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:59:42 PM | Unofficially the term is a 'known as' name most schools will allow this, the 'known as' name is placed on the register next to the child's surname it is not a legal term.
http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/
place change of name in the search bar, there is an excellent leaflet you can download. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:39:47 PM | I went back to my maiden name after I divorced.
My sons have also had their surnames changed by deed poll twice in their life & it was very easy.
I don't think it's wrong, just depends on the situation I guess.
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:23:30 AM | Thankyou everybody for their advice, Im now considering the best option for my girls would to be double barrell their surnames unofficially, just in school etc, they will grow up being known by both names, then when they are old enough to decide for themselfs they can simply stay with the surname born with or deed poll to my name.
good idea? | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/10/2008 3:35:04 AM | i changed my daughters name by deedpoll when she was in the juniors .i asked her if thats wat she wanted and she said yes.shes now 13 now and her dad has never contributed or got her anything since she was 4 .i feel i made the right decision and my daughter will not be questioned at school why she as a dif name to me .her dad i think knows i changed it back and as never contested it .which is the only time i would have problems .
goodluck jules n hope you make right decision but i agree that your doing all the work you should have them in your name .best thing i done anyway :-) | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:15:06 AM | I hope it works out for you and your kids.
I do not think you have to spend any money though. You can just inform people that the name has changed. Change bank account names etc (if you kids have any, etc). | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:05:18 AM | The age of these children hasnt been mentioned,other than they are under 16.Are they too young to understand the name change? If not then it may just be one more big confusion in their lives,parents splitting up already causes a big impact on childrens lives.
If the kids are too young to understand the name change then maybe just do it unofficially for the time being,the only thing that they would have to use their birthname for would be passports.At some time in the future when hard feelings and bitterness has changed to just plain indifference an official name change may well be regretted. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:52:36 AM | My children are 7 and 4, eldest really really wants the name to be like her cousins, auntes, uncles, grandparents etc who we are all extreamly close with.
Youngest doesnt really understand.
I do all the hard work, surely my name should be there? Im a fool for not double barrelling when they was born I know, but at the time I thought my marriage was for life.
2 months after the marriage I got my first beating. | |
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cargy
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Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:09:24 AM | The law has been set up to prevent name changes for minors where there are a father and mother with equal Parental Responsibility for a good reason:
There are some parents who, post separation, will do anything and everything they can to drive the other parent from all aspects of the child(ren)'s lives.
I'm not talking of parents who "do a runner" and have nothing to do with the child from the start here. I'm talking about "normal" (if there is such a thing) divorce and separation scenarios.
It's rare that there is any genuine need or reason for the resident parent to change the child(ren)'s name and, more often than not, the desire to do so is for no other purpose than to hurt the other parent (and as a device to further sever the family connection between the child and the other parent).
It often reflects the hatred within the parent with whom the child lives, rather than any legitimate need or purpose. It also suggests a need to treat the child as a possession and to mark them as "mine".
Apart from the occasional "official" moments, most people are referred to by the first names by their relatives, friends, and peers, so it's not like it is either intrusive or a nuisance in reality.
Once the child is no longer a minor, they can make their own INFORMED decision. IMO that's the best and ONLY sensible way in most scenarios, no matter what those wishing to change the child's name wish to believe. | |
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| Has anyone here done a deed poll name change for a child
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:11:53 AM |
Reasons would be his lack of interest and involvment and not paying his way!
So that gives you the right to take HIS name away from his kids too.. sorry no offence but i think that way out of order.. | |
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