| How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 4:29:31 PM |
Ok, heres the scenerio. I have this neighbor who lives in the same apartment as me. We talked a few times and right away I felt very confortable with her...anyways after our first meeting she adopted one of my cats since she didnt have one of her own which really worked out for me cause I had one stray too many. Now we've met a few other times in the apartment and we stopped to talk and everytime I do I get this feeling, I guess attraction a kind of warmth coming from her and she's always smiling and we seem to have a bit in common from the little we talked about. It's VERY rare I feel this connection to women looks don't really come into play when this trigger goes off with my emotions, it's like a framilliarality or something...theres only one other person I met in my life I felt this with but I wimped out without trying to get to know that one better.
Now i've been thinking this over and over and thinking, well maybe she is just being nice and doesnt have the same feelings, or would not be interested and think I should forget about it. The other part of me though is thinking isnt it worth taking the risk to be rejected over the risk of never knowing? ..
I think the best thing to do is write a letter basically describing what my impression is of her, and what feelings I get when i'm around her. Then describing what i mentioned here about taking a chance just to see rather than letting the opportunity pass me by. Making sure to reasure her that i'm no stalker lol...and that if she doesn't want to get to know me better that it's not a problem that I felt I had to take a chance...then maybe leaving my number and if she does want to get in touch to give me a call and if not...well just leave it at that.
I'm curious what the women of the forum would think about the letter idea? Is this the best way to go about it? I know I should probably say it face to face but i'm worried she'd feel even more weirded out.
Or should I just relax and play it cool and try to bump into her more often and try to look for cue's that she may be interested? | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 5:01:40 PM | Yeah, just relax and play it cool and try to bump into her more often and try to look for cue's that she may be interested? - Bingo
I'd say, jusy keep doing what you have been doing. Let it come together as it comes together, if it ever comes together.
(Mind-Twister unintentional...lol) | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 5:47:41 PM | I think that such a letter would scare me.
If you are to nervous to ask her out on a date why not try having a little party at your place and invite her. Or organize some sort of outing with a bunch of friends (try to have some women in the mix). Something like an amusement park or ... use your imagination. Then ask her and tell her she's welcome to bring friends. If she comes alone then she's almost certainly interested. If she comes at all then chances are good she's interested.
You could even start it with a, "I'm thinking of getting a bunch of people together to do X, If I do that would you be interested in joining a group of us?" next time you bump into her. This way you can ask her when a good time would be. Make sure you follow through and ask a bunch of your friends. Don't tell her there are going to be a group of people and then show up alone. If she says yes and no-one else wants to go, see if she'll go with just you? If she says yes in the first place then you have a good excuse to go by and talk to her too.
This make any sense? Good luck! | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 6:04:24 PM | Twice I had a gal once write me a letter like that. I got to tell ya: It lead me to believe they were nutts! I remember once standing in a parking lot reading a two page letter found on the windshield of my car telling me how much she liked me, along with her life long biography. The other time a mutual friend handed me a long letter from a gal that I never meet. Both times the impression I got was they were desperate.
I would just be myself. Dont seem desperate or mental. Just go out of your way to converse with her whenever you bump into her. Always be positive and friendly, smile..make a little eye contact. Perhaps drop something into a conversation about something on t.v. I have had got woman to come over to my place by mentioning how I hated to watch a movie by myself..
Whatever you do, advoid the letter idea.
Good luck. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 6:39:42 PM | | yah just hang out with her and let her make the first move.. maybe go shoping, or cook lunch together, watch a movie, just hang out like friends, let nature take its course. If you like hanging out with her why not. Worste case you will become good friends. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/17/2004 9:17:15 PM | Wow, I just remembered this. There was one time when I was 19 and still a virgin that I decided to do just what you mentioned. I was working with an older gal that was simply a knock out to me. We talked almost everyday, but I never could approach the subject of asking her out in any way.. I could barely talk to girls at all then and was doing good to carry a conversation at all then... So I decided to write her a small note that said basicly I thought she was hot and I would like to talk with her after work.... Ok, it wasnt a letter, but I wrote it for the reason I could not bring myself to say that I liked her to her face...
Well, it totaly backfired.. I weighted almost 20 minutes past quiting time untill I seen her and a friend walk very quickly by me like I wasnt even there.. So, I convinced myself she must of not seen me and I proceded to floow them to the parking lot! (lmao- shesh the leasons we learn in life).. She made a rude comment to me then, and I knew I had blown it. It was all for the best, 'cuase it turned out she was married to a guy with a high paying job anyway. So much for this guy writing letters. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/19/2004 9:51:11 AM |
Thanks for the advice...it's actually good advice the more I thought about it lol. Although I can't really sit outside her apartment till she comes outside :)...but I guess if it's meant to be it will happen, i'll just have to leave it at that. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/19/2004 12:32:42 PM | Of corse you dont want to stalk her either. lol
But, you could maybe make note of what general time she comes, and goes... If your apartment is like the ones in my state, perhaps you can make note of when she goes out to her mailbox and head out to yours at the same time. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 10 | |
| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/19/2004 5:02:57 PM | | when you talk to her ask her if she has any hobbie or things she does after work. see what you have a conection with. say you both like nature. ask her if she has ever been to _________ insert name of a nature area by you that is nice. and say we should go walking together there. if she says no, or looks uncomfortable. i would back off and just keep it as you are now. talking. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/21/2004 5:38:51 AM | Stalking always gets the girl.. and a restraining order as well. Those police, they're SOOO Funny!!!
a letter.. not a good idea..
perhaps invite her to a party that you're having. invite over some friends, have a few drinks, some good tunes.. no TV or Movies in the background.. just good conversation, and drinks.
then get to know her.. ask her to bring a friend. that way, if she brings a guy, you know that she's already into something.. or you could pick his brain. and if she brings a girl, then you could ask her about your neighbour.. or if you really have guts, just talk to her.
life and love is only as complicated as you make it.
M | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/22/2004 8:31:21 PM | | I advice against asking out your neighbor; bad idea. If it she's not interested, you could end up with the tension of having to avoid her in your own place of residence. Inviting her to one of your parties, on the other hand, is a great idea. That way, if she likes you, you two will end up talking and... you know. If she doesn't like you, she'll still think you're cool for putting together a nice party, and possibly introduce you to her friends. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/24/2004 6:22:32 PM | I dont know guys, I have been there in my past...
I must disagree with the party idea. Why? Cause it can be real dificult to get a bunch of people ever to show up, even for free booze... and if word got out about the girl being the motive nobody might show up except her. Which would leave him where I was when I was 20 years old: Inviting 30 people to my party- and ONLY the girl I wanted to show up does- and of corse she got scared being the only one at my pony keger and left within ten minutes. lol
So, I sure hope the party plan works better for you. | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/24/2004 9:40:21 PM | | READ THIS IF YOU WANT A CHANCE WITH THAT GIRL! If you wat an honest answer that will let you know for sure whether or not she is interested, than listen to me! First, have you seen any evidence that she has a boyfriend? If so, sit back and watch the situation--you don't want to move in on someone elses territory. If the answer is no, I will tell you that first you have to grow some balls. What I mean by that is that all you have to do is get up enough courage to make the first move. I know that men have a huge fear of rejection, but women have the same fear. I guarantee you if you have a feeling that she is even somewhat interested, you are probably right. She has given you the first clue already, but you aren't acting upon it. She is probably sitting in her apartment right now thinking about how she wishes you would show her a little more interest. Believe me, I have been there! Try to catch her when she is coming out of her apartment, you can even watch out the window to see when she is coming or going (I know it sounds stalker-ish, but desperate times call for desperate measures). Make sure yopu run into her and then casually mention, "Oh, hey my friend so-and-so saw you the other day while he was visiting me and was completely taken with you. He made me promise that I would find out if you were single. I hate doing things like this for my friends!" Make it sound as believable as possible. After she answers your question, you will know for sure if she is interested in dating or if she has a boyfriend already. The ball is in your court from there. Later, if she says "I thought you were going to introduce me to your friend?" you can say "He is so stupid, he got back together with his ex-wife, he doesn't know what he is missing". Then see what her reaction is. If she smiles and looks embarrased, then you say "Hey, if you want a date I'll cook you dinner tonight", BUT SAY IT IN A JOKING MANNER! You will have your answer immediatley afterwards. She will either say "No, thanks anyway" to which you can say "I was just joking around with you, I know you don't need a date-I'm sure you have plenty" or she will say "Ok, see you at eight?" and you will say "Seriously? Ok, see you then, it's a date!". | |
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| Re: How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 9/25/2004 3:32:25 PM | You know, at first when I read that you thought he had to grow balls I thought it was some awefull advise... lol
But, when I read the rest.. Well, I think your on to something. I like your idea of trying to find out right away if she has a steady boyfriend, because too many of us guys walk around in a daze dreaming over a gal that we dont realize is almost married anyway. Great idea about cuting to the chase in a joking mannor. Over all, thats great advise.
I think you helped me too! :) | |
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| How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 10/24/2005 12:16:07 AM | Speaking for myself, I don't smile and talk to a guy and adopt one of his cats if I don't like him (or the cat)  but seriously I would not go the letter route, if you're going to go after her don't do it in a half-a$$ chicken-$hit kind of way, grab the rope and swing with all you got. At least if you do it in person she doesn't have time to think of a polite excuse and you'll probably be able to read her face and know what's coming so you have a sec or two to brace yourself. | |
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| How to ask out your neighbor? :)
Posted: 10/24/2005 1:13:58 AM | | You even risk more when it is an apartment. If things work out great but if they do not that is the problem. Just think if it does not work out you will have to face them at some point in time. Then there is the possibility if she gets jealous. She will know were your car is etc. You may even have to move after. Just for thought!! | |
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