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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any      Home login  
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 HB_Beach_Bum
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 1
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
The title speaks the problem...

My girlfriend loves sex, I love sex.

I want to have sex 2-3 times a week, she might give me 1...and it's only at that time when she wants it.

Obviously I brought this up to her. She storms out and tells me I should find a girl I can **** all the time, and she isn't that girl...

Now, I'm certain there have been articles about this kind of thing, where I have some kind of evidence that shows it sucks really, really, bad when the girl doesn't want to have sex for no apparant reason other than, "No." It makes you feel like you are incapable, or not enough. Certainly someone shares empathy?

Can someone point me in the right direction?
 Don Coyote
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 2
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:16:10 PM
You might want to check the "cash register"


My girlfriend loves sex, My girlfriend is hot, she might give me 1


and she is telling you what you should do
find a girl I can **** all the time


Writing is on the wall Dude,

Can you flip me her number?

Don Quixote
Rescuing one Hot
Chick at a time
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 3
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:19:29 PM
Dump her!
a sign of things to come...it is not going to get better dude.....if anything...you will be lucky to get a handjob once a month in the future.....sign of things to come.

dump her!
 WhosDrunk?
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:22:49 PM

My girlfriend loves sex, I love sex.

I want to have sex 2-3 times a week, she might give me 1...


And this is two people who love sex?

I am so confused...
 ~Maggie~
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 5
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:29:28 PM
hilarious westernrose

But seriously OP, you're 27!
Nope, in her mind she already has moved on.
Time to go fishing.......
 Katryn
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 6
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:34:28 PM
Ok, from your writing alone I can see several problems you may be having. Lets see if my two cents can help you out...

1) You and your girlfriend may very well both 'love' sex. But just as two people who love ice cream can want it different amounts or at different times, so can two partners. You say that you find her "hot". Does she know this? Does she possess other qualities that you find valuable? If you are purely relating to her on a sexual level due to your frustration you will likely only make your problem worse.

2) She only "gives" it to you when she wants it. No, m'dear. If you both want it then it is mutual. No one is giving, so much as that you are "sharing" something. If the attitude about sex in your relationship is that someone is "giving" it this would definately fit into all of your issues.

3) Your girlfriend sounds like she is getting just as frustrated as you are, but obviously from the other side of the debate. Her angry outburst, if said as you describe, tells me that she feels she is inadequete and she feels that she is replacable. No woman worth anything is going to have sex with a guy if she feels that way.

Try and work on this stuff and it will definately help your relationship as a whole, if nothing else. You may get more sex, you may not. Have much time do you spend in regard to foreplay? Cuddling? Massage? There are so many aspects of sensuality that get looked over by someone who is in a panic about a lack of sex.

At any rate, I wish you the best of luck. Bye!
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 7
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:36:38 PM
Take her advice and get out now. Seriously, just do it.

Best case, she's establishing who's in control of who gets what and when. Worst case, there'll be a pricetag attached to it in the future.

I don't care is she's the hottest most smoking piece of a$$ on the planet - leave now and find someone who REALLY feels the same way you do about sex.
 hardngood
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 8
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:38:09 PM
dump her FAST! the old "if you do this, then you get that" is an old tape! move on!
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 9
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:40:40 PM
You're sexually incompatible.........................
And,i agree with Westernrose thats its probably not going to get any better,if she s becoming defensive NOW.....


Happy
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 10
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:46:42 PM
How long have you two been together? If it hasn't been a long time.... then I would say it is a problem and this is and will be the way she is. If you have been together a long time, then I would guess she is losing interest.

I cannot even recall where I have been in a long term relationship, where I saw them and never had sex. I wanted it everytime we were together. Sometimes 4 times in 24 hrs. (had to make up for the few days apart)
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 11
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:50:14 PM
Sorry Katryn,
hate to break it to you but....


She only "gives" it to you when she wants it. No, m'dear. If you both want it then it is mutual.

If he's asking all the time, and she's the one picking when, where and how often - it's not mutual, she's giving him it. i.e doling it out like it was on a ration card. a.k.a. "lowering" herself to his level

Hate to be the one to break it to you, but there's still a LOT of women out there who view sex as a commodity. Give them just enough to keep them around, never on their terms, and always demand something in exchange.
 Kazot
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 12
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:51:17 PM
Run, don't walk my friend.

Trust me on this one. You don't want to be asking your self 24 years later "What the fvck was I thinking?".
 DonnyDude
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 13
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:31:50 PM
Dude, your not doing something right. Sex is more than busting a nut. If you shower your girl with lots of loving foreplay and truly try to connect with her on a higher level, chances are she will want it more than once a week. Try starting out with just exploring her body, massage, stroking, kissing, touching. Girls connect much more when you show that you are after more than a quick fix! Give it a try...lemme know if it worked for ya!
 nacho cheese
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 14
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:34:23 PM
Nad once said " f u c k or get out". I highly recomend what he says!! You are young and have needs!! Conversation only gets you so far!!
 HB_Beach_Bum
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 15
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:40:59 PM
That's funny everyone here is single and everyone wants me to dump her. You guys are crazy.
 DonnyDude
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 16
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:44:26 PM
I don't think you should dump her...if you like her find out what she likes...and give her plenty of it! Good luck Bro!
 Kazot
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 17
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:48:20 PM

That's funny everyone here is single and everyone wants me to dump her. You guys are crazy.

Wrongo bucko.
If you don't want to hear the answer why ask the question?

Some people just need to find out for them selves.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 18
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Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:00:03 PM
Once a week- IF she's "in the mood?"

She's yanking your chain. Or, more precisely, she's commanding the relationship. Expect to give up your hobbies and any enjoyable activities for the next 50 years.
 Don Coyote
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 19
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:02:00 PM
That's funny everyone here is single and everyone wants me to dump her. You guys are crazy


When she kicks your azz to the curb don't come back to us CRAZIES and say we didn't see it comming.....

You still haven't given me her number so I can try and talk sense into her (on your behalf of course!)

Don Quixote
Jousting one clueless
Windmill at a time
 boyzni3
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 20
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:08:14 PM
Been in your situation in reverse, and yea get out now....She is probably manifesting the notion that she really doesnt like you....and yea some of us are single and telling you to dump her, but I would rather be single than in a sexually frustrated relationship again (been in two)...Once a week for sex, thats easily accomplishable single so why put up with the frustration....
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 21
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:08:44 PM
I am more inclined to think she might love sex, just not with you.
 albino_dino
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 22
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:15:58 PM
*
I am doing the math, but this doesn't add up....

My girlfriend loves sex, I love sex.
I want to have sex 2-3 times a week, she might give me 1...
and it's only at that time when she wants it.


I guess times are changing....

I am remembering, when I was 27, and my wife enjoyed sex, and I enjoyed sex, we might do it 2 - 3 times a day and never skipped a day without doing it once.... even a couple times during her menstrual cycle.... maybe we LOVED sex ?


I guess I am getting old, because I can only manage up to three times in one day.... but since I don't have a current lady-friend, all my math is presumptive.

I would have dumped my wife or g/f if there were less than five copulating moments a week.

 CanadianBeef
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 23
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:16:23 PM
What I would like to know...is in situations like this...can it be corrected?

What kind of creative thinking would a man need to employ to flip things around and return the WOW factor into the relationship?
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 24
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:16:23 PM
Trust me on this one. You don't want to be asking your self 24 years later "What the fvck was I thinking?".



She's yanking your chain. Or, more precisely, she's commanding the relationship. Expect to give up your hobbies and any enjoyable activities for the next 50 years.


sadly I too can speak from experience on this one.... 26.5 years later...and I ask myself...what the hell was I thinking??...no sex for the last 8 years!....(yes...it almost killed me)...thank goodness I am making up for those precious lost years.

I gave up so much of myself to keep HIM and to save the relationship... I lost myself...did his activities and lack of activities... none of my interests, needs or wants were met.

good luck...no we are not bitter singles...we are just folks who have been there...and don't want others to face the same fate...we are not trying to be hurtful

 nemonucliosis
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 25
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:30:35 PM

I want to have sex 2-3 times a week, she might give me 1...and it's only at that time when she wants it.


It seems as though she's only meeting her own needs in this part of the relationship.


She storms out and tells me I should find a girl I can **** all the time, and she isn't that girl.


Then maybe you should follow her advice and do so, because she obviously doesn't want to hear what your needs are.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.