| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:11:44 PM | O.K., this is just an observation and I know some people are going to take offense but here it goes anyway.
Why is it when I am talking to an attractive person they almost never ask for a pic, or if they do it is usually after some sort of connection has already been established. On the flip side, the more unattractive the person they insist on a pic before conversing past the initial contact. Is it because they figure since they post their ugly mug for the world to see that someone without one must be even worse looking then them?
I usually only talk to people who are within a 30 minute or so drive anyway so I figure that they might as well just see me in person and make their decision about me then. Every single person I have met from here that does have a pic has looked even better in person anyway. I don't think a picture is always accurate in portraying someone.
I realize that by posting a pic I would get a much better response, but I am looking for quality of people contacting me, not the quantity.
Anyone else notice this or am I just reading too much into it? | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:23:26 PM | To be honest, if I was corresponding with you for awhile I would want a pic. I feel that I am a quality person but I want to at least have a visual of who I am writing to. You could be a man for all I know. I actually had that happen once.  | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:26:52 PM | | You are so right...... I refuse to speak with anyone who has must have a picture to contact this user on their profile and read all profiles before reading an email sent. So to all those guys who sent emails and received a deleted unread in your sent box, now you know why. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:33:22 PM | OP- Maybe their definition of quality differs from yours and part of their definition includes knowing what someone looks like (good or bad). I think it's only fair if I've put up pictures, then the people I talk to should have pictures as well.
Do you only contact people who don't have pictures posted? Otherwise, you've shot holes in your own theory.
Krys | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:35:47 PM | I must be INSANE in my LOGIC to ask for a picture  Hey, if I'm brave enough to post my mug on this site, then I feel turn about is fair play. A fella can provide me with his picture or I'm not interested. At some point there has to be some physical attraction to begin with. Granted, looks (just like money) are easy come and easy go. However, humans are visual creature. You can't get around that.
On the flip side of the coin, just because someone does have their mug with their profile, it doesn't guarantee that's what they will look like in person. Hey, all you've gotta do is open up Playboy and other magazines to notice that if the models don their makeup and air brush qualities, most will look "average" to "unattractive". | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:44:30 PM | Given the choice of someone deciding my looks aren't for them to my face or from behind a computer screen I will definately take the latter, thanks.  Plus, putting up a quality profile and picture it shows that you are sincere in your effort to meet someone. Or at the very least, it increases the chance that you are sincere. I would rather type "no thanks" to someone over the computer, too, then be stuck with them for an hour if I find out that they have lime green hair and a nose ring or something. Yes that is a major exageration but you get what I am saying. If I know that up front and they seem cool could be a chance the other person can deal. Without that, you might just be a "little" shocked, maybe? Just my two cents. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:48:06 PM | Hello Insne logic!
Is all this an excuse made up because you aren't "savy " enough to know how to post a picture of yourself on this site! Get with it man! This is the age of the computer, so you must learn how to compute! Your lack of ability shows here and that's a big turn off!
Blind dating is history! -WL! | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:58:04 PM | | OP, regardless of how you view a woman's "attractiveness", it's basically a common courtesy in internet dating to provide a pic or photo when asked. Don't be surprised if the correspondence ends if when asked for a pic, you cannot or will not provide one. It's sort of preposterous to think you have deduced from a very few correspondences that it's only unattractive women that have this particular requirement. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:12:35 PM | | I think you are reading way too much into it. My b/f didn't have a photo on his profile and I contacted him first. He didn't know how to put one up. He didn't have a digital camera and didn't have any photos on his computer. Besides he's physical description, I didn't know what he looked like until we met. I was very pleasantly surprised. And he seems to get better looking every time I see him. Some people are glued to their computers. They don't spend hours uploading photos. It isn't the main focus in their lives. If these people don't have photos then it's their (your) prerogative. That doesn't mean that those of us who do have photos up are of less quality or more shallow. I doubt that unattractive people are more curious as to what a person looks like than attractive people. Some people care about looks more than others. | |
|
| |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:17:21 PM |
actually who are you to judge women attractive or unattractive.........how insulting !!!! Maybe he's had experience as a beauty contest judge! | |
|
| |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:29:32 PM | Asking for a picture isn't all about attractiveness. I was contacted by a man who didn't post a picture but sent one later by email. He looked so much like my ex husband that my son asked me where I got the picture of his dad. Sorry, but I wouldn't date someone who is the doppelganger of my ex. Also, though the man's profile said he didn't smoke, he held a smoking cigarette in his hand. He could have avoided wasting his time and mine by having a picture on the profile.
If you are looking for quality rather than quantity, I suggest that you post a picture--a pictureless profile will NOT attract "quality" men by virtue of their qualities. In fact, many men might overlook your because you don't have a picture. Again, it might not be about attractiveness, but that most of us are visual creatures; we want to have a image of people with whom we correspond.
And I can't relate to whether it is attractive or unattractive people who insist on a photo, but then, I have pictures, but I don't think your scientific observation about unattractive people demanding a photo is quite accurate. That you draw a clear distinction between attractive/unattractive does indicate looks mean something to you. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:37:55 PM | I assume if a man does not post a picture, it is because their wife will not let them. Either that or he is a technotard.
But then I am a female. It's been rumored that there are married men sneaking around trying to have intimate encounters with unsuspecting single women.
All that aside, it says in your profile that you are looking for friends, not a relationship. If you want a date and are a female, it is reasonable to expect a man (men are more visual) to ask what you look like. If a man is not romantically interested in you, he is probably not going to ask.
After a certain amount of time it is natural to wonder what someone looks like even with online friends, you get a picture in your mind and curiosity gets the best of you. | |
|
| |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:46:41 PM |
I realize that by posting a pic I would get a much better response, but I am looking for quality of people contacting me, not the quantity.
I don't undersand this, and I've read it often. Does not having a pic up guarantee a better quality response? It seems to me that by increasing the quantity of your responses, you also increase your chances of meeting people of the quality you seek.
OT, I cannot imagine that only unattractive want to see a pic. That just doesn't make sense no matter how you look at it. | |
|
| |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:56:20 PM |
FYI - OP is a woman. Thanks krysteene.
My advice often applies to both men and women. Maybe the OP has experience being a judge at Chippendale contests? That would explain how she can spot a stud ringer from a dud zinger. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 3:35:59 PM | I have spoken to men who have pics, and those who do not. BUT...and this is a big but...I never click on a profile that doesn't have a picture posted UNLESS he sends me an email first. There is one exception to this rule, and that is forum posters.
I too have men ask me for more pics of myself, often ones where I might be smiling. I rarely smile in pictures, as I am terrible for the dreaded "fake smile" as soon the flash goes off...
I've never tried removing my photos to see what kind of response I would get, but I assume (and this could be wrong but..) that I would get little to no response..
I like to see who I'm corresponding with. If a guy won't cough up a picture within the first few emails exchanged, I'm going to assume he's either appearance challenged, or not single. Plus, I don't want to become attached to someone whom, upon meeting in person, I have no attraction to whatsoever. What a let-down that would be!
I really don't think the quality of first contacts would increase if I didn't have a photo posted, but I'm sure it would cut down on the "Hey baby, you're HAWT!!" ones...
Meh. You take the good with the bad..  | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:02:33 PM | | OP - there's always that slim chance, that one can respond to a profile without a photo and find out that they have responded to "Dear ol Dad" or "Dear ol Mom" profile I'd rather come across "shallow" and ask for a photo. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:09:33 PM | Count me in as being "shallow" as well......
OT......I would not ask for a picture if I did not have one on my profile......and since I do, there is no reason for you not to have one, or send one with your contact to me.
And by the way......since I am shallow..... ......I have seven on my profile, and many more hidden and ready.........so, I would prefer seven from you as well.....
Just my opinion........   | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:09:47 PM |
I refuse to speak with anyone who has must have a picture to contact this user on their profile
Wow. That is cool.
I am terrible for the dreaded "fake smile" as soon the flash goes off
I'm the same way and I can't make myself laugh just for a pic. And even if I could I wouldn't post it.
| |
|
vro312
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 23 | |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:21:19 PM | Thank you, OP, for being brave enough to say what I'm sure most of us are thinking: Unattractive people are such manipulative a$$holes.
In fact, in my community, I'm pushing for separate restrooms, drinking fountains, and sections on the bus. If more people would speak out against unattractiveness, maybe the world would be a better place. | |
|
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:49:03 PM |
"Why is it when I am talking to an attractive person they almost never ask for a pic, or if they do it is usually after some sort of connection has already been established. On the flip side, the more unattractive the person they insist on a pic before conversing past the initial contact. Is it because they figure since they post their ugly mug for the world to see that someone without one must be even worse looking then them?"
OP,
I'm sure you must realize your query is quite difficult as attractiveness and the lack thereof is completely subjective. What I find attractive you may not, so the answer to your riddle is different for everyone if we choose to answer it. Another thing to remember, is the 'attractive person' you are chatting with may be using a picture not belonging to them, so don't get all warm and fuzzy about that. A person, who looks less than perfect digitally, may look 1,000 times better than some bloke who's souped you up with a pic of some obsure male model.
I have a pic, so this is not an issue for me...what is of issue are the pics like others, I have been asked to send. *smh*
To the quality of profiles with and without pics...there's a mashup going on. Some rely on their pictures to get responses leaving the crucial information out. Some have no picture but shed light on their traits. Some do both, some do neither. This is a pond...you will swim across plants, other fish and pond scum...it's the nature of the thing.
I am currently chatting a bit with a bloke who has no pic nor have I asked for one. When the time comes, yeah, Imma want a pic but I'm enjoying the mystery, the intrigue for the moment. And if he's not lying, which is a dealbreaker anyway, then I will be quite happy with my gamble if we make it that far.
Might I suggest using the term ugly mug to describe your fellow man on a public forum is in bad taste and will undoubtedly turn potential suitors off, IMHO. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
