| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:43:42 PM | | I recently was told by a man that men and women can never be friends. He said that if a man ever tells you that you're a friend he is lying. He explained to me that men have and always will look at women as a piece of ass and nothing more. Personally I think he's full of crap and I myself have many "male" friends that are true friends. Guys...I'm just curious as to how many of you honestly feel that men cannot be friends with women. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:36:52 PM | | That would depend entirely on the individual men and women in question. For some, it is definitely possible to have respectful, close and platonic friendships. For others it is not. I think that everyone knows which category they are in, but are less sure about everyone else. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:40:41 PM | I'm not a man, but that guy is full of crap.
My best friend is a man. He doesn't want me in that way (he has an effin girlfriend) and I don't want him in that way. We're incredibly close, and we love and respect each other very much.
Some men can't be friends with women because they're the types that will screw anything that moves. They're not all like that. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:04:14 PM |
I recently was told by a man that men and women can never be friends. He said that if a man ever tells you that you're a friend he is lying. He explained to me that men have and always will look at women as a piece of ass and nothing more. Personally I think he's full of crap and I myself have many "male" friends that are true friends. Guys...I'm just curious as to how many of you honestly feel that men cannot be friends with women.
My best friend in the province is a woman. However, I'm not interested in her in that way.
This man is clearly a douche-bag, but there is some truth in what he said. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:14:20 PM | Well, I only really have one female friend, and I have a hard time not seeing her in a sexual manner. I wouldn't pursue it for a number of reasons, but I think if we chose to we could make it happen. We've spoken about it, and come to agreements and boundaries, and I think that's important - acknowledging it, bringing it out in the open. With awareness comes choice, and that's very important, especially for any two single horny people. 
For me, it's very difficult to completely stop noticing women in such a manner. Whether I act on those impulses is entirely dependent on my integrity. The first thing I will always notice about anybody is their looks, but my opinion of them depends entirely on everything that isn't their looks. Their actions, principle, values, etc. these are the make or breaks for respect. 
I imagine the man who has such pitiable opinions of men and women didn't grow up around women, has a hard time expressing himself, and has probably been jaded and hurt in some manner. In the end though, it's just misandry and misogyny, and should be valued as much as any sweeping negative generalization, like racism and bigotry. If I were you I'd be sure to show him more than a little dissent.
I've never developed pure platonic love on first sight. Having solid relationships that rely on more than sex is probably the only way to recognize that we aren't a species that is only capable of viewing others in an entirely breeding based logic.
Well, my 2 cents on a probably over done topic
Cheers,
~ LGOE5 | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:24:28 PM | For that man, that is reality. Some men think that way.
I feel as long as there is no attraction then there is no problem at all. If one or the other are attracted to eachother then it will get sticky sooner or later unless both are attracted then it may get sticky in another way   | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:51:33 PM | You know...I believe men and women can just be friends. It depends on intellectual capabilities of course. If there is an extreme attraction from one to the other in either sexes it can throw an x factor in there that can negate my theory. Of course if you facilitate yourself in a manner that demands respect you may also negate the x factor. Hope I was some help,
JJ | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:58:22 PM | You know...I believe men and women can just be friends. It depends on intellectual capabilities of course
This is the most pretentious thing I've read today; kinda makes you sick. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:00:30 PM | I can only go by my own experiences. I've asked every single one of my male friends about this...... Their responses were actually quite surprising to me, but they all basically said the same thing in so many words..
Men and women can be friends for sure, but don't think for a minute they've never pictured you naked, at some point...It doesn't mean they would act on it, but they have thought of it.
Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just going by what I was told | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:17:48 PM | | I think he's just BS'ing with you or teasing w/you OP.. Guys and girls are just friends all the time. Some of my close(r) friends are female and we've never done anything sexual together, so........ sure it happens. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:30:22 PM | hi all 
well i cant seem to be friends with a guy 
unless he wants to get emiotionally involved...i do try but its just me i guess im too sweet...hehe joke !!! i want men friends ,... be good xx | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:36:38 PM |
Men and women can be friends for sure, but don't think for a minute they've never pictured you naked, at some point...It doesn't mean they would act on it, but they have thought of it
There's a woman I'm extremely close to. It feels like we're kid sister/older brother. I've never pictured her naked. Hey, I just *tried* and got bored. 
Lover her to bits, though.  | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:40:53 PM | | Of course it's possible. But once a man pictures his girl friend in bed, it's hard to lose that thought. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:49:50 PM | Possible yes, hurtful, more so.
One of you will have more "feelings" for the other and will want to be friendlier.
As for some one that says after a breakup, or a shoot down..."lets just be friends" they are full of crap. They don't want to be friends, they want to keep you around as a fall back guy just in case the guy they want moves on. I am friends with most of my Ex's and we talk all the time, and the only ones I don't talk to are the ones that gave me the "we can still be friends" speech. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:02:42 PM | The man in question has a very limited view of the world. Men and women can certainly be "just friends". I have several female friends I am close to and love, but I'm not interested in them romantically at all.
This is not to say that there aren't men out there who only befriend a woman in the hopes of sleeping with them, but they don't represent ALL men. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:15:01 PM | Yes it is true that most men and women can be friends but ask any guy that is stuck in the "friends zone" how much he'd rather date that friend....See how many guys say they would unless the guy is not single 9 out of 10 would say they'd rather date than be "just friends"
Best of luck to you  | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 1:33:10 AM | Chris Rock has a routine about this exact thing in his "Bring the Pain" video (about 45 mins in), search for that title on YouToob (deliberately spelt incorrectly), watch it and make up your own mind.
Seriously, half the people on my farcebook page are women who i've never thought about sleeping with and I consider them to be my friends. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 2:01:51 AM | Of course men & women can be friends.
Obviously it is easier if the guy is not physically attracted to the gal...
If over time the relationship changes to where one or the other wants more than friendship then the friendship might have to change / end.
In some cases a man can be just friends with a gal even if he is attracted to her. (ie: if she is involved with a family member, friends, etc.)
Not every man is a bag of hormones unable to control itself...
But that being said, I view even an intimate relationship as basically a friendship with "extra stuff" layered on top... I, for one, have never been able to have a sexually intimate relationship without a solid friendship at the heart of it... | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 2:20:51 AM | Something to consider when discussing this topic is the 'Ladder Theory'. Google it when you got some free time. It takes this theory and expands on it greatly. Also, most men are capable of being platonic friends. I can pretty much assume it was not their choice, but it is better to be 'just friends', then not spend time with the woman in question in any form.
In conclusion --> I think the bigger issue is whether you are comfortable with the thought that your male friends have at a minimum, pondered/considered/fantasized about *ahem* being more than your friend. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 2:39:51 AM | Sure. I have and have had female friends.
One of them still managed to screw it up, but generally no dramas. I was in a very long term relationship from puberty until late last year, so the idea of having female friends I do not want to tap is not an issue at all. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 4:20:33 AM | I recently was told by a man that men and women can never be friends.
Geez...
Im gonna start checking out my male friends incase they're trying to subliminally hit on me.
*is suspicious now but never was*
I dont wanna hit on them...*cant see a difference*
Hold up...one just did! The OPs male friend could be right. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:25:19 AM | | the majority of my closer friends are women. women who i've never dated. while it is true that they are also attractive that has nothing to do with anything. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:37:45 PM | OP: Yes, and no.
3 reasons why a guy isn't interested in you is: 1) He's gay 2)He's not attracted to you at all 3)He's currently seeing someone.
Ultimate test... invite him over, invite him to sit on your couch, then go the bedroom get naked, come back into the living room and say "Take me I'm yours".
If nothing happens... you guys are friends....
If something happens.... well... you have your answer. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 4/13/2008 1:57:17 PM | Funny...
This is one of the questions I ask to start a conversations with people when I am out.
This question is very situational and there is no real answer. It depends on the people involved in the relationship. All relationships take work, some more than others. There also needs to be a means of equity in a relationship, if one person feels they are contributing more time, effort, emotion and investment in the relationship than another they will leave or create drama.
If you look at it this way men and women both have emotional romantic, sexual and social needs and agendas. Women more than men have a fulfillment of their needs and desires. It is basic sexual economics of supply and demand. More supply of men and less demand by women. On a mans end complete opposite forces work.
If you take the hierarchy of needs into perspective people will seek more needs as a less basic one is met.
Men and women seek social needs among their same sex unless there is a situation where the opposite sex friendship is needed or relevent. (Gay or Both in a Relationship).
Now men and women both have a different genetic hierarchy for their needs.
Women:
Social
Emotional Romantic and Security
Sexual (Even though women like sex more than men)
Men:
Social
Sexual
Emotional Romantic
So to make it clear... If you have a friend and those needs are not met, he is seeking to meet them. He just doesn't know how to act to them because he is Beta or Omega and Alphas have all the fun.
If you are not willing to help him out in his agendas and needs tell him to google Neil Strauss and go from there...
Love in Vain,
~Orpheus | |
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