| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:37:23 PM | I couldn't help but wonder while I was reading the Intellectual Disabilities thread, what do we all think about physical disabilities? Would you/have you dated a partner with any kind of disability? I have, twice, and got all sorts of weird and wonderful reactions, so I'm curious what you folks think? Or, if you suffer from a disability, what's your take on the whole dating/singles thing? Do you put it out there in your profile, wait till you meet someone, then when do you talk about it, if at all?
Yes I checked and it has been done before but I wasn't here and it was in Ask A Girl, I want everyone's opinions, bring it on ...
ronda :)
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:57:44 PM | While i haven't dated anyone with a disability, depending on the disability it would not put me off.
I myself, have a medical condition which affects my mobility at times and no that is not on my profile.
I think that maybe, if not an obvious diability, then maybe that could be something one mite feel more comfortable talking about face to face.
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:04:22 PM | I have to go with i really dont know.. i think i am a little shallow when it comes to quadraplegics etc... I am sincerely sorry if I offend anyone, I get that the problem is mine and not thiers. Its not just the sex I am sure thre are all manner of things to aid its just everything.. in saying that naturally if i was in love with someone and they had an accident i would of course go with the flow.. but i am assuming the lovely OP means to date someone with a pre existing situation.
As for missing limbs i dont konw or blindness i dont konw. Blind would be good so many bonuses wouldnt matter is the lights were on or off, or having a bad hair day.
My mum is deaf, so i have been bought up with sign language and have dated the deaf before.
Great thread Rhonda..lets hope it dont get the boot ...lol
xmmm
I did go on a date with a guy from fish who neglected to mention he was in a wheelchair. I kinda would have like to have known.. but should you say.. its a good question. | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:08:15 PM | | My cousin started chatting to a lady from Melbourne a few years ago. They have since married, moved to queensland and had a son together. She is in a wheel chair and has difficulty speaking. | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:32:00 PM | This may be a little freaky..... am at work (sshhhh) and just after reading the start of this thread, a guy came into the office in a wheelchair... and he is hot!
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:34:52 PM | woohoo! go for it Gem  I used to tattoo a guy in a wheelchair who was SO cute, and we flirted outrageously, but I was still with my ex at the time so nothing ever came of it but I always wondered....
ronda | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/16/2008 3:26:11 AM | | My thinking is along the lines of what mmm said as well..friendships are no problem but I doubt I would get into a relationship with someone with certain types of disabilities. I spent a year as a carer for a man I already loved before he became incapicated, and whilst I did it willingly and without question for him when he got sick, I know first hand what a tough gig it is. Lifting him out of chairs, and bed and the bath and back again, constant fetching things as he asked for them, taking care of everything, having hospital equipment everywhere...it's a whole other world. I realise that it perhaps might be different if someone is already independent with their disability, but ...for me it feels like too much to think of going there again knowingly. | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/16/2008 3:31:59 AM | As much as I hate to admit it I agree with you Naamah (I don't mean I hate to agree with you, you know what I mean lol)
Having been there and knowing how difficult and just plain day to day gruelling it can get, the toll it takes on the relationship, and no matter how hard you try you can never make them better, it just wears you down and eventually breaks your heart.
I don't think I could willingly put myself in the position again, but who knows what fate has in store...
ronda
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:20:40 AM | | Years ago I had a small business where I relied on weekly bookings of newspapers and the 9 - 5 magazine for repeat work. My account manager sounded really hot so I agreed to meet her for lunch after I saw a group pic of the marketing team. At the cafe` she was in a wheelchair and I did not care as this girl was warm, friendly and gorgeous with a McLeans Girl smile to boot. She invited me to her black tie 21st b/day party with some other business people and I took the opportunity to ask her out to dinner. We went out as friends and found out she was not lonely for company but just restricted to where she could go and what she could do. Just best to be up front and honest I guess as until she moved to the UK we were close friends. | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/16/2008 11:30:25 PM | well if ya with a person you like and they like you, you look past the disabilities thingy you just go for it and hope for the best and see how it all turns out dont worry about others and what they think be your own person and you will always be happy with what you do mistake or no mistakes as the say roll with the punches  | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:29:59 AM | Go get her Sergent, Cinderella dont come wheeling along everyday!!!! | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:03:37 AM | If I was to lose something...and it can happen so easily...in the blink of an eye, I'd like to think people would still see me as lovable and loving... But I do know otherwise. It's a tough world out there.
About 10 yrs ago, I had a dose of cellulitis. This usually occurs in the limbs, but affected my face and head. While the immediate threat was brain damage from increasing pressure to the brain, the more obvious effect was it turned me into something very similar to the Elephant Man for about 10 days. I was nothing short of hideous and even my children cried scared when they visited me at the hospital. My face became so swollen and distorted, I lost my sight for the first few days and could only peep through a tiny blurry slit in one eye.
The one thing I will never EVER forget from that experience is the way I was treated by other 'normal people'.... They blatantly recoiled from me, spoke to me slowly like the brain of such an ugly person could not possibly work, and generally avoided or excluded me from conversations like my input was of no value. I even had occaisions where people I actually knew walked straight passed me and grimaced at me, ignored me, or worse still in one situation outwardly COMMENTED on my appearance. They were yet to be told it was me and didnt recognise me.
I'm not sure I can explain the realisation that my appearance really did colour how I was treated... I cried some big tears over it.
I had to return to see the specialist who had seen me during my first few days in hospital about a month later when everything had returned to normal. He had no idea who i was when I sat down with "my normal head...lol" and I had to introduce myself. When I told him I was his facial celulitis patient he looked gobsmacked and made some comment about having no idea I had been hiding in there and suddenly became very friendly. I instantly disliked him for that. I felt like he only treated me like a human when I met with his visual approval. | |
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| Physical disabilities
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:32:04 AM | I dated, married and had children to a man who only had 6% vision and had a lot of other problems ( he had been in an accident before I met him). It is a great strain on the relationship but like anyone else there are all different types of people in the world and just because someone has disabilities it doesn't mean you should overlook other things about them good or bad. I know I overlooked all the signs of problems because I let my empathy for this man blind me (no punt intended) to his not so good side, he used his disability as an excuse for unexcusable behaviour.
This relationship has probably made me be a little more cautious when dealing with any future possible mate. I dont think I would not date someone simply because of a disability but then you never know until your in the situation. | |
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