| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:41:21 AM | | Hello, I went to the zoo with my 6 year old daughter this past weekend and walked by this hot brunette who gave me a great smile. We catch up again in about an hour, and she tells my daughter how cute her hat is, and how much she liked it. So was this woman hitting on me or not? Even if I have that part figured out, what do I say to her? I know I just have to get the ball* to say something, but I am also one who respects a lady and her privacy along with doing that in front of my daughter. Any advice? | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:49:26 AM | | Yes, she was trying to make a connection. She gave you an in by talking about your daughter. You just need to keep talking long enough to find a branch off of that topic. Talk about her, ask her if she has kids. If she doesn't ask her about who she came to the zoo with. She's trying to find out if you guys have anything in common. If you do then you could exchange information so you could talk more later and find out if you have interest. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:57:50 AM | bowlerman,
There are a lot of us (m/f) out there who are just plain social people, and have a ready smile and/or kind word for just about everyone, especially a child.
I couldn't tell you if she was hitting on you or not, as the odds could go either way on that one. What I would suggest you do though, is practice on/with people (again, m/f) of this nature, by engaging them in some polite chit chat or banter, especially once they have initiated it.
It will not only help you overcome your shyness, but will eventually let you discern whether or not there is more to it, than just having run into a social butterfly. Practice makes perfect.
Best of luck,
hnh
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:04:53 AM | | rejection is an art.once you master it,its amazing the great people you meet.take it from a guy who has broke records in the field.its a simple question."would you like to join me for a chat sometime?"if she says no,just say"ok we dont have to talk then."laugh it off and go on with your day. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:20:51 AM | | Bowlerman, seems it could be either way.... BUT... only way is to open a conversation. Mention how excited your daughter was to come to the zoo and how this is one thing she loves when she is visiting dad for the week end..(Hey, Yes... I am single!) ask her how she is enjoying the zoo? mention a particular part of interest there..discuss it a bit........ then ask her "how is it you happen to be here on your own?" ... depending on the reply say ..( eye contact and a smile, always)"I would invite you to lunch but this is my daughters day... but if you'd like to meet sometime for a drink later.. I'd like that... (Response) Get her number!!!! PS. Always have a pen !! | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:03:43 AM |
I dunno about other guys but when a woman smiles at me it means more than being polite....that's how I feel anyway.
You're reading way too much into then. I smile at lots of men, I even flirt sometimes... but that does not mean I'm interested. :) | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:09:16 AM | You're reading way too much into then. I smile at lots of men, I even flirt sometimes... but that does not mean I'm interested. :)
and women cant figure out why we cant read their "signs".lol. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:10:17 AM | ^^you took the words right out of my mouth, sherilyn.....I'm one of those social butterflies too, but if anyone were to actually take the time to watch me in action, they'd notice I smile, banter, tease and wink with/to people of all ages and of either gender...nothing meant by it beyond friendliness.
However if I am interested, there will be no mistaking it either, passionandsong...
hnh
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:16:29 AM |
and women cant figure out why we cant read their "signs".lol.
That's where this handy tool called communication comes in. If there is a smile or a flirt and they are interested then they can talk to me. Talking will make it a lot more evident as to the motive. If I'm interested then the conversation will head the right direction. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:19:35 PM | | I agree with Quinte, if she wasn't interested in you as a potential date, the the worst thing that could have happened was you would have made a friend, But I figure she thought you were attractive, but anyway next time take Quinte's advice and see what happens. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:07:06 PM | Well, from what you've shared, she first, gave you a wicked smile, not your daughter.
Then, she made a light conversation with your daughter about how cute her hat was.
I'd say, she was interested in you and then, gave you another chance at stepping up your game to engage in a conversation with you. Your principle of respecting privacy and consideration of your daughter is great, however, don't let it stop you. You could have responded in a number of ways that would have been acceptable.
(Go back to the zoo! She might be there again, looking for you this weekend! You never know!) | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:15:49 PM | You really should have asked her because she is the only one who knows.
Why didnt you ask her?
That is a really cute kid, btw. I'm not suprised people stop to talk to your daughter. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:30:31 PM | | Why didn't I ask. Part of it is the respect that I brought up before and the other part is fear of rejection. I don't pat myself on the back often enough, but since the OP, I am getting the attitude of what is she going to do, say no? Then I am just where I was when before I asked her. LOL, I am acutally doing a lot of reading on how to approach a woman. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:22:08 PM | Bowlerman, that's great...you are doing something about approaching women...but you know what, just DO IT :)
Maybe the woman at the zoo assumed that you were married....she saw you with a child...that's what I may have thought.
Don't be afraid of rejection.....we all go through it and if she did say "no"....then look at it this way, you are getting the practice in for approaching other women.
Good luck to you! :) | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:45:45 PM | I'm more apt to smile and be friendly to someone with a child, and also to someone I am not particularly attracted to. It's easier for me to chat and flirt when I'm not really interested. It's when I AM interested that my palms get sweaty, I get nervous and can't think of a word to say.
Chances are she found you non-threatening and your daughter cute. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:55:44 PM | I work daily with kids and love talking to them. I especially love small children as they are so full of wonder and wanting to learn. I used to volunteer at my local zoo so I could teach them more about animals. People are much more wary these days about having strangers talk to their children though.
Personally I would never flirt with any man out with his child. There is nothing to show that they are single, and who knows where mom is, or she is still in the picture. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:51:37 PM | I don't think she was hitting on you. it was coincidental u's ran into each other again/ or a small zoo.
i'm thinkin...she likely wld've gave u a solid clue, if she were interested.
sounds to me like she was just being friendly.
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:56:37 PM | | I've got to disagree with you on that one, peacful. I'm not sure what else she was supposed to do to show her interest, chase him down? lol! Chances are she wanted to talk to him and decide if she's interested from there. A lot of women like being approached in unexpected places, and they like men who aren't afraid to take charge and start a conversation. Usually when I approach someone in a setting like that she's all smiles...even if she's mentioning her husband to let me know she's not available. OP, even if you talk to someone and she's not interested, just consider it practice. The more you practice the better your social skills will get, and the better your chances of meeting someone special. | |
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| Ladies can you help a shy clueless man? LOL
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:32:32 PM | First of all, since she was talking to your little girl, that gives you every right to talk to her. You are the adult that goes along with the child, she is automatically inviting you into the conversation (whether she knows it or not . . . she might be childless or possibly clueless like you :):):) )
So you have every right and a great opportunity to ask her directly about her day at the zoo, if she has children, tell her a bit about yourself, etc.
Man this reminds me of a friend of mine . . . he is totally clueless. He hangs out at the same bar as some friends of mine in another town. He is in my town all the time, because his kids are here. They are 7 and 10, and my little one is 6.
We always see them at fast food restaurants, the kids play together like little angels. And I have said every time, "Hey, "friend", you have such cute kids. We should all get together sometime and do something fun." He hasn't taken the hint yet, and complains to his buddies about being single. He doesn't realize that the first thing I want to do is leave all the kids with my babysitter and a nice movie and popcorn, while the adults go out!!
Oh well, this is the bait we use to fish, maybe the next one will bite. | |
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