| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:47:09 AM | | I think it is. I haven't really lived anywhere else, except during grad school, but I think many women in Omaha are really defensive and not very open-minded. I have the feeling that a lot of women in the workplace or that you somehow meet outside of a dating situation are unhappy. And wow, you should see the flaming e-mails you receive when you criticize a woman for dating while she's in the process of obtaining a divorce! | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/19/2008 4:16:22 PM | Omaha is a scathing criticism. An incestuous, highly limited pool of xenophobic egomaniacs. Not that i am critical :)
I think this town just needs an influx of fresh blood. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:05:23 AM | As a native Omahan, I readily admit that I have ingrained attitudes and behaviors typical to Omahans. But, I am willing to try to change them if I can identify them. I just get the feeling that women in Omaha are a little more defensive and unfriendly than average. The divorce rate in Nebraska has been consistently lower than average when you look at 1990-2005 - which says something about the happiness of marriages in Nebraska, I would think.
I would be happy to hear from anyone else, men or women, regarding what makes the dating scene in Omaha 'weird.' I still think, based on my interactions with women in Omaha outside of the dating scene, that on average women in Omaha are more unhappy than the average American woman for some reason. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:47:17 PM | Let's look at it from the woman's viewpoint.
How about the guy that on a meet tells you he has had 3 assault charges filed on him...But they were all dismissed . And that he has been "clean" for 6 months now
How about the guy who shows up with a dirty t-shirt on and it has holes in it!!!
How about the guy who informs you on the meet that he is married and is shocked when I get upset over that minor detail.
How about the guy who tells you that he really does not know why he is on a dating site because he is not ready to date.....but says "let's meet for coffee and see what happens".
And yes these are meets that I have been on. I think it goes both ways boys. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:50:26 PM | You are right, it cuts both ways. How fun do you think it is to meet little miss snottypants who never shuts up and tells you all kinds of stupid things and then openly acts disappointed that she agreed to meet with you! Or having to sift through all these profiles that have women with a 'separated' status.
I don't think the dating scene in Omaha is problematic just because guys do stupid things that you mentioned. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool, so maybe a dating site just isn't going to work for most people or maybe it even makes both men and women feel more jaded about the dating scene. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:12:31 PM | I think the key to being single and happy in Omaha is to live a life that you enjoy, don't be afraid to go out and do things by yourself. I once met a really cool guy at a play because we were both there alone, granted I was 20, but still.
I have met lots of cool people here in Omaha, just not Mr. Right.
As for a "dating scene" I don't think the big O has one. The bar is no place to meet anyone over the age of 23 and as far as church goes, in my experience they are some pretty weird guys.
I sift through tons of single dad profiles but every once in a while I meet someone who fits the paper profile I want but the person is somewhat questionable.
I wish you all luck, I love Omaha and I know the guy I am looking for is also looking for me, this town is too big for there not to be love out there.
It is spring, after all. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:52:00 PM | | You have no idea how strange the dating scene is. If I hear "I'm a strong independent women" again I think I'm going to lose it. Real strong women never use that line, it shows. I travel for work and if I have some planned free time in another city I may contact someone through a dating site for dinner, coffee I've even taken a hike with someone. Nothing romantic just meeting some interesting people. Here in Omaha it is hard to get a email response. I am always honest and upfront, here that gets you nowhere. In many other places that is actually a attractive quality. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:27:43 AM | Well said. I've been trying to get to the bottom of what is actually an interesting question (the topic I raised). I think people's emotions override their abilities to act reasonably for numerous reasons. The fact that people are on the site indicates that they are not receiving something in their lives that they want, and the two sexes are affected by it differently. I definitely would be careful if I were a woman on a dating site, but some men behaving badly doesn't define all men and doesn't excuse more bad behavior as a response.
I also see many control issues, I think a lot of behavior that is practiced in the workplace carries over to the dating scene and I personally would rather not date again than have to experience the sludge that I force myself to go through at work - and on my own time without getting paid for it! | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:53:33 AM | I don't think Omaha is unique in this regards.
In my experience, this tends to be a Midwestern thing. People in the Midwest are reputed to be the friendliest anywhere in the country. And I do believe this. I don't travel as much as I used to, but I do attend many IT seminars in different parts of the country, and I have noticed one thing about the Midwest.
People here may be very friendly, but they are also a bit insular and distant. On the East and West Coast, people are far more outgoing. So starting the initial conversation is a lot easier.
For instance, in Pittsburgh, it is considered rude to not to socialize with your neighbor at a bar or cafe, as talking to perfect strangers is not an uncommon practice. But in the Midwest, you have to spend a lot of time breaking the ice, as people here are a lot more timid about talking to strangers.
Thing is, you have to have persistence. For instance, I hang out in several local coffee shops and bookstores on a routine basis. I have found out that after I make this a routine, many people will talk to you because they have seen you in there before.
Just my thoughts on this.
An interesting topic.... | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:50:20 PM | I agree that the midwest takes awhile to warm up to. You have to meet someone several times before you can actually have a conversation. The people I meet typically have their group of friends that they have had for decades and even when I am invited I am never treated as one of the group. I have lived in several areas in the country, I still find it extremely hard to make close friends here.
I origianlly came from part of the country wher 90 % of the people were transplants and did not have familly close by. Holidays were alway a large group of friends getting together and half of the people were recent additions to the group. I really miss the openess.
Don't get me wrong, the people in the midwest are nice and pleasent but they never really open up. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:36:20 PM | Let's look at it from the woman's viewpoint.
How about the guy that on a meet tells you he has had 3 assault charges filed on him...But they were all dismissed . And that he has been "clean" for 6 months now
How about the guy who shows up with a dirty t-shirt on and it has holes in it!!!
How about the guy who informs you on the meet that he is married and is shocked when I get upset over that minor detail.
How about the guy who tells you that he really does not know why he is on a dating site because he is not ready to date.....but says "let's meet for coffee and see what happens".
And yes these are meets that I have been on. I think it goes both ways boys. I can see where all of those would be a problem to say the least. first impressions do make a big difference
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:22:44 PM | I don't feel that I (of course I can only speak for myself) am that unsocial. My personality is very friendly and it comes easy for me to talk to a stranger when out and about. It does not matter if I am with a group of friends or by myself. Guys make it hard for me to even attempt to get interested in them if I read in their profile "I am shy until I get to know you"  It is not in me to try and get past a meet with someone who is. But let's not give up yet!!!!! | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:02:08 PM | | Omaha dating weird?? I don't think it's a "city" thing. I have lived here all my life. I have traveled to many places and have always been happy to call Omaha home. I would say it's a "dating" thing! And as I'm finding out.... Dating aint for sissy's!! (I think I have dated some of the men mentioned earlier by the way!) lol I think with dating I have found that you have to go into it with no expectations.....just let it ride for a few months......see what happens.....how many red flags come out......then if things are still looking ok.....get more comfortable. (A new pair of shoes feel weird too....til ya break em in....afterwhile, they just feel right on your feet.) Ya know?! Don't matter where ya bought em! | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/16/2008 3:06:29 PM | you tell them rubygrl.
I've got one for you. A psychologist who doesn't tell me until 5 months into the relationship that he is still with his fiance but still wants you to go to bed with him. The whole story reads like a bad romance novel. I still shake my head over it. Then HE gets pissed when I ratted him out on Match.com... Said it was all MY fault. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:19:32 AM | Not just Omaha most certainly. I grew up here, spent my adult life in TX, and came back here when I got divorced- 3.5 years ago. I have dated a couple guys two times, most just don't get past the first meeting- some don't even make it that far. Yes I am picky- but I have plenty of time to find "the one" I don't mind going to bars alone- I go to hear a band or something and usually fully enjoy myself. But that's the thing- I am going to hear the band- not to meet some guy- if "some guy" happens to come along- it's a bonus. There are just SO many things to do in Omaha- especially during the summer, pick the things you enjoy doing- and see who you might meet along the way. Creepy people are everywhere- here, in the bars, in the grocery store- and we all run the chance of meeting them(The creepy people I have met in the past have exposed themselves to me early in a date- or have tried to well....they weren't just poorly dressed, poorly educated idiots. They were actually creepy) | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:34:29 AM | Dating problems are not unique to Omaha. I can't speak ofr the women, of course. Being a single man, I have been disappointed more often than not.
The biggest problem I have found, here and in other cities I have lived in, is that most people outright LIE in their profiles, just to get a date. Either their picture is 15 years old, or they are obese, and they say they are "a few extra pounds", or even AVERAGE.
And when they are confronted about their lies, whether in person, or on this site, they get belligerent and defensive. Because of this, I don't display my picture anymore. If I contact, or am contacted by someone, and we seem to hit it off, then, and only then will I send them my picture. I am not down on larger girls. I just am not attracted to them. I AM down on liars, though. Anyone who would post a picture that is over ten years old, or misrepresent their body type, just to deceive someone into thinking they will meet someone other than who they are, is just a pathetic person.
Another problem I have found is that a lot of these gals that I have had a first date with have been infected with that simile speech virus. They sound like burnt-out teenagers with their "I'm Like" and "It's like" in every sentence. It is extremely annoying when you are trying to have a conversation, and someone batters you with those things.
I have found fewer tatoos here, thankfully, than I have found in the east. Those, to me, are a big turnoff. I still can't understand why anyone would want to do that.
I have had some very good first dates. The only reason that I am not in a relationship now is that all of the good first dates I have had involved women who weren't ready for a relationship. They wanted to play the field, and see how much interest they could generate, I guess to stroke their egos. Not for me, thanks.
I am confident that I will find the person who is just right for me. I screen my messages, and am patient.
Outside of the dating scene, I have met LOTS of wonderful people in Omaha. It seems that if they don't have to put their lives on the table, they are more honest and forthright about things, and themselves. I have lived in a number of cities. Omaha is definitely in my top two. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:56:06 AM | You have some good points, of course based on my posting in this thread and if I haven't explicitly stated, I don't think Omaha is that great but of course, don't complain unless you take actions to leave or make your situation better.
I am encountering some very odd behavior, and I know that's because emotions are so wrapped up in finding a "mate". I did some more thinking about it and it's puzzling to a guy because women have so many options. Even if the guy leaves they can still find a good job, force him to pay child support, etc. But there's probably something in the genes that make women anxious or behave oddly when it comes down to dating and meeting men. Trust me, it gets old.
And another thing, people around Omaha seem to be very close-minded to anything outside of their (usually very limited) comfort zone. I like doing more than trudging into the office every day and watching TV at night and calling that my life. | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:24:39 AM | | For Pete's sake! Maybe if you were not so negative against everything... stopped analyzing everything and just relaxed without judging others- you would have fun! I know that when my husband decided to forget that we were married and had his affair, yes, I did kick his butt out, but, no, I did not force him to pay child support. I always have maintained sound employment, I did not as you say have to go find a job. Things are tight... but you know what? I do not hate my ex. I would not be the person I am today if it were not for him. I have grown as a person, I have learned from the failure of my marriage, but I am not letting it paint a picture of what I think all men are. I am very happy and content in my little apartment with my beautiful son. You seem to be carrying a lot of bitterness and assumptions about women that are very unfair. Gee did you belong to the "Woman Haters Club" as a kid? | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/10/2008 8:53:46 AM | Wow, and I thought I had a negative view of Omaha!
Dude, I used to do all of that analysis stuff, but I found that to be pointless. At some point, we have to just relax and smell the roses so to speak. When we spend too much time thinking about these things, you would be amazing at how often we miss the obvious.
I have always found these sort of discussions interesting, because I have always been fascinated at just how much different the social cultures are in different parts of the country. But there comes a point when we just have to accept it and deal with it.
As I said earlier, I have always felt it is harder to get to know people in the midwest than other parts of the country, simply because people here don't engage in the art of casual conversation as much as they do on the east coast or in the deep south. People here are more likely to hang in large groups of people they have known for a long time.
I may prefer the casual approach, but complaining about these sorts or differences is truly pointless. That's why I tend to hang out in places where people have the same interests as I do. This works for me, as it makes starting a conversation easier. As an added bonus, it is likely that I have many common interests in these groups.
So if you can't find anybody with common interests, then the only thing I can say is that you have to learn enjoy doing things by yourself. I have several interests that VERY few people around here have, so I just do it by myself.
Oh, well, back to work.... | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/10/2008 11:44:18 AM | my son has been gone for 3 weeks, and for 3 weeks I have not set still a minute I do lots of stuff alone- until I met these other two crazy gals last night-you know who you are and I can't email you due to the restrictions on your profiles........
Anyway, like I said I go out a lot alone- and talk to nearly anyone, I have done this here as well as in TX- it's all in what you make it man!
Noone can make you happy but you, period, and if you think Omaha is boring- I am willing to bet you would be bored nearly anywhere. Now, that said- some of us are going to Ricks Boatyard Friday night I am not posting an event of it- because I don't want to have to go through all of that- but it is a public place and everyone is welcome to join us! I look just like my picture just hop up and say hi!
Oh, and as far as open minded- I know many women here who are- now, we may be selective in who we show our open-mindedness too- but we are here! | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:41:49 PM | | Wait until you get to age 55 and above and try to find a good date least of all a relationship. The best part: you have to keep trying....and trying....and trying | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:23:59 AM | | I moved here because "Ah wuz in luvvvv". Boy what a joke that turned out to be. Now, after being single w/ no girlfriend for 15 years, after trying this internet dating thing for over 5 years, after having absolutely NO friend who can "introduce you" and REFUSING to go to a bar to meet someone, even going so far as to create my own website, (www.willworkforawife.org), I've reached a point that I almost believe there is an insurmountable wall between me and the "Omaha Female" that for some reason it doesn't look like I'll ever get accross. Ladies, I just plain don't know what you want and I basicly gave up trying several years ago. Flowers? Poetry? Perhaps delivered pizzas or singing telegrams? Want to get the door slammed in your face? Try that.... I just plain don't know what they want and at this point in my life, I doubt that I ever will. I think life would have been much better if I'd been killed in Angola, Iraq, the Balkans, or any other place then to have ended up single, never married, over 40, and here..... | |
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| Omaha dating scene is weird?
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:13:08 PM | | I think alot of women I have met in some cases lack the ability to be realistic about what they want or what they will actually get and then what they will take or put up with just to get a taste of what they want. Yes I do have a hard time meeting women like alot of us, I dont hit, cheat, use, call names and I have allways been a fairly nice guy and had plenty of respect for women. The trend I notice is you meet a gal and they will tell you there story of how they been cheated on, lied to, beaten, verbally abused to no end by there past loves and they just want a nice guy that will treat them good. Well you treat them good and show them respect and what do they do? Dump you to go back to the guy that treated them so bad or another just like it! The funny thing is alot of them that do this also have contacted me later wanting to know how I am and tell me how sorry they are they did that and they really messed up! I understand we ar all human, but I dont understand this at all! Once I have been burned like that by some one I am done with them and I dont give them second chances to do it to me again, I used to, but learned that does not work out too well. I am sure this goes both ways too so no Im not just woman bashing here, just sharing my experiences. I dont demand perfection, I just want to be treated fairly in return by the people I treat as well. | |
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