| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:23:32 AM | | I found somebody (it lasted a year) and stayed on POF so I could have contact with the friends I'd made here. I also changed my profile to read that I'd found somebody and not looking. There seems to be some that think you should drop out right away. I'm glad that I didn't. Can we get some opinions on this? | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:16:21 AM | hummmmmm, that's a tough one, I'm sure people will want to comment on this one!!
as for me..... well I to have met some great friends, (that's it, no dates yet)!! but, this is a dating site! I'm sure you have other ways to keep in touch with your friends, if that is your only excuse as to being on here. Have a great day, I'm going  | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:35:34 AM | i thought i had just met the woman of my dreams and was considering deleting my profile, she even said to me why dont i delete my account.
I changed my profile to not single/not looking and put up that i was only interested in talk/e-mail.
I even changed my main profile to say that i had found the lady of my dreams and i wasnt looking any more.
Anyway...........................................she dumped me today over a very minor thing so iam glad ( yet again..........) that i have my profile still here and ive changed it again.
my advice is this...........dont ever delete your profile as you never ever know when she is gonna dump you, maybe after a few years you might have some idea that she is gonna stick around. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:06:57 PM | There are all sorts of threads on this issue...and even more opinions on such.
I have kept my profile on (but hidden so it is only visible from the forums) because I ENJOY THE FORUMS. I am also active in the coordinating and hosting of POF events in my area. I have FRIENDS I have made through POF, and yes, we can certainly maintain those friendships off of POF, but it is a common denominator with us and we have a rip roarin' time in the forums!
There are others who are less available (i.e. MARRIED!) who maintain an account as well...so the way I look at it is, I am not harming anyone by being here because I am upfront about it and most importantly, my partner does not have a problem with it.
So...DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO in that situation! :O)
I do think that keeping a photo off deters people from writing to you about being on a dating site when you are in a relationship! | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:41:08 PM | | Kat, hey, are you a Cardinal fan??? GO CARDINALS!!! Back to the subject......Some people I've contacted or had talks with are only available to me through the forums. Like somebody just posted, I too, had bad luck and am back to fishing. I didn't know that you could take your profile off and still be in the forums. I'm not seeking attention on this. It came up from another forum thread and got off topic. Thought by starting this, it would stay on topic. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/17/2008 5:16:34 PM | Well Cajun...when they are winning, I am! LOL Otherwise...could give a hoot about sports! But if they make it to the...what's the baseball tourney...not Superbowl...the playoffs?? LMAO...anyway...they make it there, I can throw a hella party!
YES...you can "hide" your profile so that it will not come up in searches or matches...but still be accessable through your forum posts. :O) | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:04:48 AM | Yes,you started bashing me on another topic,and I think {my opinion}that if you meet someone on here and fall in love,then post a testimonla,be happy and move away from this site! You can hide your profile,delete your photos,etc,I would think that the last place you would wanna be ,would be here on a dating site,should be using the time to grow in your new relationship! If it doesnt work out,you can always come back,single and open again,my opinion,is all! | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:03:50 AM | | No, I did not bash you. I pointed out a few things and one was that you assumed. Go back and look at what you said. Your last few words are the key to this....."my opinion". To disagree is not to bash. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:06:03 AM | Nothing wrong with a hobby Cajun and if yours is posting in the forums then by all means keep a profile up that says whatever it is you want it to say.
What right does some person have to tell you to delete your account if you're honest about not looking? Actually, what right does someone have to tell you to delete your account for any reason?
I've been on here for quite a long time and have recently met someone (not via POF) and I have no intentions of deleting my profile nor will I stop hosting events.
(Me thinks Canjun's friend is not finished with her argument and wants to get the last word in! LOL) | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/19/2008 7:59:31 AM | the answer is YES, we should still stay on here.
iam not saying anyone should still be looking for some one else but they should keep their profile active, no one ever knows when the relationship will go tits up and then its back to square one.
i recently met who i thought was a genuine really nice woman on here, it appeared as tho we were a couple and she asked me to delete my profile, i said i had changed it to " not single/not looking" and was just chatting on the forums............
...........anyway she has dumped me now so its back to square one, and yes my profile was still there. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:14:54 AM | | Doesn't it all come down to trust? In todays electronic age e-mail,text etc. Its difficult enough to figure out the female mind. Personally i think it starts with being friends..Just my thoughts Ken | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:40:24 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i think you are correct and everybody should start out as friends and see how things develope........then when it all goes tits up we wont have lost as much. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:09:08 PM | I kept my profile also during my year long relationship, just changed it to reflect my “unavailable” status. The guy I was dating knew about it and it was never an issue. When we broke up at the end of last year I changed it back to "available" again.
If this were a site that only offered dating than I could understand the “why would you stay on this site” crowd. I for one would not be clued to the other person 24/7 so there would be times that I would be on the computer playing games, downloading music, posting to the forums on POF and making new pen-pals especially other baseball fans. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:51:11 AM | When I was dating someone exclusively, I kept my profile up, even included his photo and put NOT single/ NOT looking. I got more email than ever. Older men were very condescending to me about his age. And other men figured that I was here to cheat and it would be no strings attached sex...WHAT? Still others admitted they hadn't even read the profile, just sent the email.
As long as you're clear about your status, why not? Now if i were to get engaged, married, I'd take it down. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:40:24 AM | Well, I for one do not keep my profile up to avoid having to start a new one should my relationship not work out!! (God...if I was that negative...or that LAZY...lol...)
As I stated before...I have FRIENDS and am active in the forums and planning of POF events. While we most certainly CAN maintain our friendships off POF, it is FUN for us... | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:58:53 PM | Ok, what does this say about the internet, how we treat people and the pure laziness of society?....First let me say that if someone has "found" someone else and are being exclusive, I believe one should ask and it should be up to the "found" (like they were lost...lol) person what their comfort level is to this topic. Keep in mind that people will say "oh, I don't mind" when they really think "are you kidding me" I would think that out of respect you would at least hide your profile .....What does it say to the "found" person when you keep your profile up on a dating site? Oh, it's just for the Forums (and in case it doesn't work out....) A helleva way to start a relationship.......lol......And we all wonder why we're single????  | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/21/2008 4:43:53 AM | | I would say that it depends on the relationship. Those living together., married or living in and out of each other’s home day to day or week to week probably wouldn’t have as much alone time to be on the Internet at all or anything else outside of their “union”. Those that have a more together but “separate” lifestyle, would have more time to themselves. These days there are many couples that are not getting married or living together (or not in a hurry to anyway) and don’t even see each other everyday. So, there would be down times when you can knit, watch a “Law & Order “ marathon, listen to old 45’s or post on forums if that is your liking as long as your SO knows. And there is no “hiding” going on. There are even couples here that posts to the forums. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/21/2008 1:07:35 PM | We are all here to FIND someone-why to stay and waste somebodys time in hopes for talking/meeting you??.I believe that if you are in a relationship........honor it !Do not play around with other people's feelings.
If I met someone through POF I would delete my profile due to respect to my partner.He would deserve it.................otherwise,you would be telling your partner that "I am not so sure about you........I still"shop around"." | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/21/2008 1:34:25 PM | I think that we all are on here to find someone special. As we go through that search, we do make friends here...
I was on POF last year. I met someone, and we went out till this past March. We met outside of POF, but I told her that I had this profile and I had met a lot of friends. She immediately made an issue out of it, even as I was totally honest about whos/what were here. So, against the "little voice" in my head, I deleted my profile...what a mistake!!
I lost contact with some good friends that added insight and value into my life without any type of "strings attached"....Fortunately, I found them again when I signed up again...
If the SO does not have the trust of knowing who you are, no matter where you are, than the relationship will never work. You could have a quicker hook-up in a local bar with someone that you met there and gave you the temptation, than some of the trials and tribulations that you have trying to meet someone here...
In the future, I will show my SO, who is on here, the value that they add to my life, and let her meet them...that would be true honesty | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/21/2008 1:42:27 PM | It's entirely up to the individual to either stay or go? But I wouldn't abandon the site just because I got a date or started seeing someone for a few months. Dating is just that dating your not obligated to that person. Now if the two of them became an item then It would be proper to at least change your profile to reflect that you are no longer available at this time. But that doesn't mean you have to leave the site...
I would however believe if things were going so well in the relationship then you would have little spare time to waste on such a site... | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:42:31 AM | When I started on POF almost 2 years ago I started with the intent of making friends and building a social circle and I have accomplished that many times over. I met a lot of wonderful people who I value having in my life and we keep in touch here because thats easiest for all of us. These are friends that extend beyond the online world in to activities, dinner parties etc. I have no desire to give up those friendships just because of someone elses perceptions.
Personally, I have met someone a few weeks ago (not from POF) and she knows about this site and my involvment/event hosting and that I will continue having my profile up and I will continue hosting events for the foreseeable future... and she's fine with it and has come to one event already and will be coming to the Happy Hour today.
So, I agree with Chef. If you're honest about it with your SO and honest about it with your online profile and those you encounter then it shouldn't matter.
It all comes down to trust and if your SO doesn't trust you then there are deeper issues at play than whether you have a profile up here for forums. | |
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| Should we stay on POF after finding somebody?
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:51:11 PM | The problem I find is that you can write to someone, and they are courteous enough to reply, but they have met someone and want to see how it goes!!! Ok this is all when and good but at least post this somewhere on your profile so that us guys that would like to write to the single ladies, don't waste time sending out emails to those who are not available!!!!! Geminidan:   | |
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