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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?      Home login  
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 In2UnMe
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1
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Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
My (now ex) Wife surprised me by asking for a divorce. I never considered asking for the wedding ring I gave her back as part of our settlement. However, it has been over a year since the divorce and she is seriously dating someone else and I'm thinking that if she wanted to end our relationship the symbol that I gave her as my commitment to her and our relationship should be returned. What do you think?

What have other divorced people done with their wedding rings?
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 2
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:24:37 AM
Why would you want it back?

Mine; I sold it.
 HappynReal
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 3
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:27:06 AM
oh that's just silly!
 dayoffpilot
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 4
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:27:20 AM
It was a gift at the time of marriage...so no...unless you're a re gifter..
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 5
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:27:31 AM

I'm thinking that if she wanted to end our relationship the symbol that I gave her as my commitment to her and our relationship should be returned
I was under the impression that the divorce would be enough to end the relationship.

Perhaps she wants to gift it to someone? Or, she just doesn't see it as having any meaning any longer...
 TLC_
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 6
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:28:13 AM
what would you do with it if you got it back?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7
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Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:29:31 AM
Did she ever buy YOU anything? If so, did she ask for it back?
You bought HER a ring....that makes it HERS she is under absolutely no obligation to return it to you...why in the world would you want it back anyways?

Perhaps she is of the mindset that it will go to one of your children when they are old enough.
 bigjohn2k8
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 8
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:32:17 AM
If it wasn't settled during the divorce just leave it be. It wasn't important to you then so why is it now? Yeah, logically, she should have given it back to you -- but we don't live in a perfect world. You just gotta let go and move on with your life.
 MrVitamix
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 9
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:38:49 AM
generally no, you can't ask for it back unless its some kind of familyheirloom... more so if you have kids you shouldnt be asking for it back...
but if it was wildly expensive you can ask for it to be considered as part of the settlement... although thats a mightly cheap thing to do.
 girl4182
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 10
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:40:29 AM
I don't see why you would even consider asking for it back. It's not like she called off your engagement, you actually got married. That ring still represents the marriage she had with you and what she chooses to do with it is her business, but for you to ask for it back is pathetic. What are you going to do with it? Get remarried to someone else?

The only way I would give back the ring is if he or I called off the engagemnt
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 11
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:44:26 AM
no you don't get the ring back. if it was an engagement and that was broken then you would get the ring back.
 littleaudrey
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 12
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:49:02 AM
No.

Legally, the ring is hers. There are actually laws relating to this kind of thing. In many states, if you give a woman an engagement ring and she breaks the engagement, she must return the ring or be in breach of contract. For real. In some states, if the ring is an heirloom, they will make the person give it back to the one who gave it to them. However, that's all relating to engagement rings where a wedding did not happen.

In your situation, the ring is hers and would be viewed legally as a gift.

It's okay to ask for it back and it's okay to try and get it back through the courts, but unless she's kind, you probably won't get it back.
 strangebunny
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 13
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Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:51:18 AM
how would any of us out here in internet land ****ing know????
we wern't there when you gave her the ring...

You need to talk to her about it...
ask her what her understanding was when you gave her the ring ... did it mean it was hers for only the length of the marriage... or for ever... or neither of you ever thought about it at the time... Grown up thing is to sit down talk about it... see if you can come to an accomadation... if not just move on ... forget about it.... it does not really matter what anybody else thinks... your contract was really just between the two of you...

At least you can learn from the outcome....
 UrbanTO
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 14
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:56:27 AM
So when you got married, you gave her the ring and said now dear, if this doesn't work out and we divorce and you are seeing someone, I want that ring back, ya hear?

You gave it to her, it's hers to do what she pleases with it. And if she wants to have it remodelled into something else, it's her choice. Ditto if she wants to sell it and use the money for a splashy vacation. What would you do with it? Not the tacky thing to give it to someone else surely, so let it go.

I sold mine in case you're wondering.
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 15
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:02:20 AM
Nope she married you and fulfilled her obligation. But hey...tell her to have the gold melted down into a nugget and have the diamond set in to make a beautiful necklace. I did that when my husband passed.
Oh wait maybe your not talking....sorry..but it really does make a lovely necklace
 missinghimalready
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 16
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:03:17 AM
It's a pre-marital asset, meaning, you have no legal claim to it.

Aside from that, why would you want it back?
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 17
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Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:04:49 AM
Look brother. You do not want the ring back. You are using this ring to hold onto her. Forget the ring. Let her have it. You need to get over her.
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 18
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:07:22 AM
Why would you want it back? Seems like it would only be a reminder of a commitment that has now been broken. If she wore the ring for a number of years it holds her energy. Might be some BAD mojo there. No more bad mojo no! You should let this idea go and quit thinking about HER.

For those that have a morbid sense of humor there is always the wedding ring coffin...RIP.
 baviaans kloof
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 19
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:07:32 AM
i've kept both mine and his wedding rings.

i'm keeping them for my daughter and my son. they asked me to keep them, but to be quite honest, even if they didn't want them, i would still keep them.

other pressies.... he took all the lovely things i gave him when he went, i insisted that he take them because i didn't want them in the house as they were just reminders of how much i gave and how little he gave...

i didn't give him back the gifts that he gave me because the electric sander wasn't all that efficient anyway and i still used the saucepans.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 20
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:11:31 AM
My ex ran in to some cash problems so I bought her engagement ring and wedding band for pennies on the dollar.

I took hers, mine, the huge 2ct diamond and the engagement setting and had them made into a belly button ring for my oldest daughter.

My daughter thought it was awesome and to my knowledge my ex has never said a word.

So now everytime my ex sees my oldest in a bikini she see's our wedding bands and her engagement ring dangling from her daughters belly button...

Quite fitting don't you think?
 imalitltpot
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 21
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:13:23 AM

In many states, if you give a woman an engagement ring and she breaks the engagement, she must return the ring or be in breach of contract.


SHE asked for the divorce. She should give the ring back.


Nope she married you and fulfilled her obligation.


WHAAAAAAT?????? Her "obligation" was to be married to this man "Til death do us part." "In good times and in bad." "For better or for worse." "In sickness and in health." Blah blah blah. SHE broke the vows by asking for a divorce.

It's too bad you didn't ask for it in the divorce. It might be too late......hopefully you have a son or daughter together that she would pass it down to.
 BlueEyedMinnow
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 22
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:27:43 AM
Ok....let's be honest with 'ourselves' here....is it REALLY the ring you want back? Or is there another reason you wish to mentally bash yourself about and the ring is just a physical 'thing' to identify with.

Say you ask her and she hands it back to you with a look of "WHO CARES" on her face - will it end there? What will be the next thing you decide to focus on? Will seeing a hurt expression on her face be enough? What would you do with this item? Pawn it off? Hold onto it for the next woman in your life? (and NEVER think another woman wishes to have a ring on her finger that was once someone else's )

You are feeling hurt, anger, and many other things that are best NOT acted upon. Give youself time and distance to start healing. Stop obsessing on possession, past, and feelings. Instead, use your energy to push forward and leave the past (rings and all) behind.
 ladylecter
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 23
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Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:41:14 AM
I met a guy on this site a while ago and he proposed and got me a beautiful ring. It is on my finger and I am looking at it now as I type. We broke up but I still have the ring. As a symbol of what we shared. He was a good man and If he hadn't gone to prison I would still be with him. He wants me to keep it because he knows everytime I look at It I think of him and remember our love we shared. I don't dwell on it and I HAVE moved on, but I still remember him. Nothing wrong with keeping something that gives you nice memories. Are you really so bitter in this divorce that you want to take that from her?

I don't know, Im not involved and I don't know how things went down. But if you're asking for it back Im guessing you two are not on good terms. If that be the case, are you wanting the ring back for a pride trip/game? Or do you want it back to remember the good times of the relationship?


Either way you took a risk and bought her a ring. That's what risks are, chances that you'll lose. And you Lost the money you put into that ring. If we were all promised we'd get all the money/things back at the end of a marrige, well then that kind of takes away from the real value/meaning of giving the ring in the first place. "Oh yeah ima give you this ring but if we don't work out I want it and my money back, BIATCH"

Kinda takes away from the whole "token of the heart" Status.
 custis
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 24
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 10:48:46 AM
No. Forget about the ring and forget about her. You are a man, do not do little boy stuff.
 forumeow
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 25
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 11:47:52 AM
I agree with most of the posters, why on earth would you want it?

That said... My engagement ring was a family heirloom, and after the divorce I did NOT return it to him, but only because he would have pawned it. I returned it to his mother instead.

If it hadn't been a family heirloom... I'd have probably sold it.
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